I do not own Twilight.

Huge thanks to Project Team Beta !

I have many stories swimming around in my head. I plan to complete this story as soon as possible so I could move on to the others. I've tried writing more than one story at a time and it just doesn't work out. Please review and give me your honest opinions! I'm also on twilighted.

Prologue

I wanted him more than anything on earth. I needed him more than I needed my bed, more than the water to sustain me and the air to breathe. My body, my mind, my heart, my all belonged to him. I would have given him my everything for his anything - or just a few intimate moments alone with him.

We had been best friends for years and then everything changed. It wasn't easy anymore. We were no longer "Bella and Edward" Before I knew it, it was just Bella, and Edward when he needed my help with something.

He came to me often. Advice and to lend a helping hand was what I was good for. He called and I answered. He wanted to see me, and I made myself available, no matter the time of day. He looked for me and I was there. It didn't matter if I had plans or if I was ill. It didn't matter if my heart broke every time he was near. Anything and everything he wanted, I gave freely.

He had power over me - power to destroy or make me new. He didn't seem to notice, and if he did, he didn't care.

I'd had the chance to run away and leave the city, to leave everyone and everything behind, but I didn't. I wouldn't have been able to even if I'd tried. Standing by his side did nothing but destroy me.

I had two choices: either leave, empty and without any possibility of seeing him again," or stay and witness the love of my life loving someone else.

Edward couldn't make me happy in the way I needed, so I settled with anything he was willing to give. Betrayal, indifference and pain like I had never felt before was what I received.

At one point in my life, he was everything good in my world; he wasn't always the reason for my heartache. My Edward was sweet, gentle, funny, caring, a family man, the most adorable momma's boy, and yet so manly at the same time. My Edward was different. My Edward was there when someone needed him.

The Edward who had another woman by his side was a different man. A man I wasn't sure I knew any longer – a man that no one recognized anymore.

Part of me wanted to leave, but I stayed even though it destroyed me on the inside. I preferred the pain to nothing at all. The pain and the tears reminded me that at one point he'd been there, that what we had was once true, even if for a limited time. Leaving would have only made my memories fade, and I couldn't allow that. I preferred to look at him and long for my Edward than to leave and risk not being able to remember every perfect detail of his face.

Instead of running from my heartache, I walked towards it and let it consume me time and time again. I was the masochistic lamb, innocent and gentle. He was the ignorant and strong lion - my complete opposite.

Knowing he would hurt me if I got too close, knowing he could pounce on me and tear me up at any moment, I went to him. I was completely vulnerable to him, but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. At least, I couldn't have him in any other way, so I settled for what he gave.

When you love the one who is killing you, what is there left to do but stay and let them have you as they wish?

He wasn't mine. Edward belonged to another, but I belonged to him whether he wanted me or not. My skin craved for his touch - my heart called for him. Every fiber of my being was his. There was no use in trying to stay away. At the end of it all, I belonged to him.

Authors Note: I understand Edward sounds like a complete jerk, but as the story goes on you will see that he really is a sweetheart who made a wrong choice.