I disclaim! Ian's POV. Spoilers up to 3x11.
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He does not want to be that guy.
He does not want to be the guy who has to shepherd a guy with internalized homophobia out of the closet and into the light of day.
He doesn't want to deal with the stress—or the emotional side of things, because it's clichéd.
And it never ends well for the guy who gets involved with someone like this.
Sometimes it feels like as much as he doesn't want to get wrapped up in Teddy's little world, he can't help himself.
He wishes he could just stay away from him, but there's just one problem: Ian likes Teddy.
It's really the most surprising thing of all, because why should he?
They had one night together. One night.
Ian is stable, he knows what he wants out of life, he is proud of who he is. He does not have time to get involved with someone so confused, who will only end up hurting himself and everyone around him. So Ian knows that it's important to remember that even if he helps Teddy, that doesn't mean he has to like him.
But he does.
He likes him a lot.
It's kind of easy to ignore him when he's being a jerk, which seems to be less and less often as Teddy realizes what Ian knew from the very first time he kissed him—albeit a time when they had both been horribly drunk—Teddy was gay. Or at the very least bisexual.
The words he spoke to Teddy start to play in his mind, over and over. The feelings aren't going to go away. The words replay over and over and he tries to ignore them.
Ian doesn't want to care—he can just be Teddy's friend. That way, he can help him, and that doesn't mean they have to be romantically involved.
At least, ideally it wouldn't.
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At the luau, when he tries to distract himself by talking to some guy—a guy whose name Ian can't even remember fifteen minutes after he's done talking to him—he realizes how screwed he really is.
He wants Teddy—and it's not going to end well. It can't end well.
It doesn't stop Teddy from grabbing his arm, pulling him around, and kissing him.
Ian had been almost afraid when he'd felt Teddy's arm on his, he hadn't had the opportunity to think though, because in the next instant, Teddy was kissing him.
For some reason, Ian wants to call it romantic, because he got so caught in the moment, he could have drowned in Teddy.
For a moment, as he kisses Teddy—or Teddy kisses him . . . it really doesn't matter—he loses himself in the kiss.
When Teddy pulls away, all Ian can do is stare.
Just . . . stare.
He doesn't smile, even though Teddy's smiles—to Ian anyway—are almost infectious. And Teddy is just smiling at him.
Ian wants to lose himself in those baby blues.
Ian, for a brief moment, wants to forget about what a terrible idea getting involved with Teddy is. Because when did Teddy suddenly decide he's gay? Has he even accepted it, or is there just something between the two of them that Teddy doesn't understand, so he's just throwing himself at Ian?
Ian doesn't want to worry about those things.
He knows this is stupid—it's just high school. Teddy is nothing in the grand scheme of things.
Even though he tells himself these things, they don't feel true.
The problem is that he's dangerously close to falling in love with this guy.
Teddy is probably going to turn around and pretend this never happen by tomorrow, Ian assures himself. Ian feels a pang in his heart anyway.
He doesn't know if he wants to take the risk.
Ian looks down at his hands. He can't deal with this.
He looks back up into Teddy's eyes.
Or maybe he can. He doesn't know anymore.
"Why did you do that?"
"Because I wanted to."
"Why?"
"I like you,"Teddy replies.
"What does that mean?" Ian demands. He's not a particularly demanding person, but this is one of those moments that requires it.
"Silver kissed me."
Ian feels his heart sink.
"And I didn't feel anything. I wanted . . . I wanted to be kissing you. I looked over at you and I just . . . I like you."
Ian doesn't know what to say or do.
In the end it doesn't matter.
Dixon comes in looking for Teddy, so he leaves with a simple nod goodbye.
Ian watches him go. Then he lifts his fingers to his lips and he swears they're still tingling.
And finally, finally he smiles.
He can't help himself.
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"Fun."
Ian likes fun.
He doesn't like feeling like the guy he likes is ashamed of who he is.
He doesn't like feeling like the guy he likes is ashamed of him.
Ian simply refuses to be that guy.
And so he tells Teddy that and walks away.
It hurts way more than it should.
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Ian goes to Adrianna's party. He sings in front of a large crowd of people who don't seem to realize how absolutely horrendous his singing voice is.
And it's so much fun.
He doesn't want to be around Teddy, but that seems to keep happening.
Somehow he's here, in this stairwell-ish place, his back up against the wall, and he's staring into Teddy's eyes again.
Damn those eyes.
Teddy starts to say the things Ian needs to hear, and suddenly Ian understands.
Teddy isn't ready.
Ian has to take a risk.
Ian can't expect Teddy to be instantly out and proud.
It isn't fair for him to expect him to be . . . perfect like that.
Life is complicated and messy.
Ian, for a brief moment, has no idea what he's going to say or do.
But then he just knows.
Ian leans forward and kisses Teddy, and words fall from his lips about understanding and taking things slowly . . . he doesn't even really know or care what he's saying anymore.
When Teddy kisses Ian again, Ian reevaluates his earlier claim.
He's not falling in love.
He's fallen.
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Okay. Thoughts? There'll probably be a part two . . . where Teddy makes it so that he doesn't, you know, have to be that guy, if there's enough interest. Otherwise, back to my other many plot bunnies!