"I can't believe my little sister is getting married," Katniss said, hugging Prim tightly.
"I know, it's crazy, isn't it?" Prim said as they stepped back, Katniss holding Prim's hand to admire the gorgeous diamond ring on her left ring finger. "I never thought Rory would grow up, but when he did – wow!"
Katniss laughed. "I think he finally realized you were going to leave him behind if he didn't get his shit together."
Prim sobered, looking up at her sister. "What about you and Peeta?"
Katniss sighed, turning to stare out the window. "We're… not in a good place."
Prim laid her hand lightly on Katniss' shoulder. "You could try talking, that's generally a good place to start."
Katniss leaned her cheek on Prim's hand. "We don't have anything to say to each other anymore."
Prim hugged her tightly. "That I don't believe, Katniss Everdeen. I saw you two together; you love each other more than anyone I've ever seen, except Mom and Dad."
Katniss stiffened. "Yeah, and look where it got them. They died because of that love."
"What? No, they didn't!"
Katniss pulled free from her sister. "Yes they did! They were so consumed by each other they were off on a trip for alone time when that drunk driver came and wiped them out. If they were here, where they belonged, we'd still be a family!"
"Katniss! You can't think like that! They didn't die because they loved too much; they died because someone made a stupid mistake, just like you're doing by pushing Peeta away."
Katniss narrowed her eyes at her sister. "Excuse me? I wasn't the one that pushed him away, he slept with someone else!"
"He made a mistake after you'd left him alone here for three years," Prim said softly. "I don't want to fight with you, Katniss but I don't like seeing you unhappy either. You ran away six years ago and asked him to completely uproot his life just to follow you around. Did you really think that was going to happen?"
"I don't… I don't know," Katniss said, sitting down on the window seat. "I just know that it hurts to be here, knowing he's here."
"You still love him."
She looked up. "Of course I still love him," she said, wiping angrily at the tears that gathered at the corner of her eyes. "But he hurt me and I can't move past that."
"I think you both hurt each other," Prim said, sitting down next to her. "Unintentionally and intentionally, but time heals all wounds and I know you can get past the hurts." Prim slung her arm around Katniss' shoulder. "You love each other, you shouldn't waste that, it's too hard to find."
Prim was off spending time with Hazelle, getting her dress fitted one last time and Katniss had time on her hands, which she hated. At least at home she had things to keep her occupied, or Gale to talk to. He wasn't coming in until tomorrow, caught up in recording the band's first album; he would only be able to spend one night here, just long enough to see his brother and Prim get married and then fly back to LA on the red eye out of Pittsburgh.
Her phone vibrated. Pulling it out, she read the text from Prim. Katniss, I need you to go to the bakery, I forgot to make sure that Rory's cake has chocolate filling like he asked for.
Katniss sighed. Her sister wasn't going to give up on wanting her and Peeta to talk. This was the fourth "errand" she'd asked her to run to the bakery. The other three times she'd managed to pass off to Hazelle and Posy, but they were both busy at the shop, helping Prim get fitted perfectly.
Fine, but I think you're full of crap. You ordered that stupid cake weeks ago and there's no way in hell you let a detail like that slip your mind.
Tucking her phone back in her pocket, she grabbed the keys to the car and went out to the garage, slipping into the driver's seat of the rental. Turning the key, she winced as the radio blasted loudly. Her favorite song by Tonic was on and the words hit her like a sledgehammer. I need to be around you. I want fall into your eyes. I love to feel you close to me but there's no peace of mind. I live to hear you laughing. I long to feel your hands fall down. Along the side of me. She spun the volume down to nothing and sighed. "Thank you universe, for reminding me how much I miss him, as if I needed a reminder."
Putting the car into drive, she backed carefully out of the driveway. Darius was out here somewhere so she was doubly careful as she drove along the familiar streets towards the small downtown area. She parked in front of the bakery and got out of the car, clicking the lock on the key fob. Standing on the sidewalk, she glanced inside the gold painted window at the cakes. That'd been one of her favorite pastimes, staring in at the gaily decorated desserts, trying to imagine what they'd tasted like.
Her phone vibrated again and she pulled it out.
I did forget! When you get married, you'll understand that there's a million and one details and you can never keep them all straight. Besides, it'll do you good to talk to him before the wedding tomorrow because yes, he will be there. I love you!
Katniss snorted. Like she was ever getting married. Nope, she'd be leaving that to Prim and everyone else. Traveling the globe and working with developing nations didn't leave much time for a husband and family and she was perfectly content to be the way cool aunt that came to town and spoiled the kiddos rotten. Taking a deep breath, she pulled open the door to Mellark's and stepped inside, the amazing smells taking her back instantly to when she'd worked here with Peeta.
His flour covered hands deftly folding the dough over and over, kneading the ungainly lump into a smooth globe of quivering perfection. She could watch him do that for hours, long fingers smoothing over the dough, easing it into the perfect shape. No wonder he was so good with his hands, he practiced for hours.
Damp heat speared between her thighs and her mouth went dry as she watched the muscles in his arms and shoulders move beneath his plain t-shirt as he lifted the hundred pound bags of flour like they weighed nothing. He was so perfectly put together, not too big but so strong he could probably bench press an elephant. She loved the way those arms held her tightly and how turned on she got by staring at the crisp hairs at his wrist, delicately dusted with flour as he worked.
The sweet chocolate icing she'd smeared over his bare chest and licked off when he'd been showing her how to frost the cakes late one night. She never could look at the icing bags in the same way ever again.
"Good afternoon, welcome to Mellark's, how may I help you today?"
Katniss was pulled from her thoughts by the pleasant voice and she smiled at the young redhead standing behind the counter. "Um hi, I'm Prim Everdeen's sister and she has a question about her groom's cake for tomorrow."
"Oh, she's such a sweetheart! Let me get Peeta for you, one second."
"No, wait, that's … not necessary," Katniss said, her voice trailing off as the girl disappeared into the swinging doors to the kitchen.
Peeta came out a second later, wiping his hands on a towel. "Katniss," he said, a smile tugging at his lips as he stared at her, his gaze drifting slowly down to her feet and then back up again. "It's good to see you."
"Yeah, you too," she said softly, taking a moment to drink him in as well. Her heart stuttered as she stared hungrily, taking note of every detail. His hair was too long again, hanging in his face and his eyes looked tired but they were still the same bluer than blue that she remembered. "Lavinia said you had a question about Rory's cake?"
Katniss nodded. Okay, they were going to do things this way then. Fine, she could live with that – maybe. The hurt they'd inflicted on each other was still there, but time had muted the sharp edges and now all she could think as he led her towards one of the small, wrought iron tables near the window was how much she missed him being in her life. That pain was still needle sharp and it bit painfully into the tight shell she'd constructed around her heart. "She thinks she's forgotten to tell you to have it filled with chocolate."
Peeta smiled as they sat down. "Wedding details driving her crazy?"
Katniss nodded, chuckling. "I told her there was no way she'd forget a detail like that but she told me I'd only understand when I got married." Her cheeks flamed and she dropped her gaze to the floor. Way to go Katniss; drop even more awkwardness into this already painful conversation.
Painful silence rose and she could feel her cheeks heating even further. Glancing down at his hands, she looked for the telltale sign of a wedding band and her heart started beating again when she saw nothing on his fingers. That didn't mean much though, not for a baker, but she really couldn't imagine Peeta not wanting to show off the fact that he was committed to someone, even if it would be a pain to bake with.
"And obviously you're not."
She blinked, staring at him owlishly. "What?"
His cheeks flushed a dull red. "Married, you aren't married."
"Oh, no," she said, shaking her head. "Not really in the cards for me." Her mouth began speaking again without her brain engaging. "And you. Are you married?" She wanted to kick herself. This must be a version of hell, former lovers coming together and having painfully stilted conversations over the most banal but oh so pertinent details.
"No, not married," he said softly. "There's only one woman I would want to do that with and I blew it."
Her eyes locked with his and her heart stuttered in her chest once more at the look of raw need on his face. "You don't think she'd forgive you?"
He shook his head, gaze never leaving hers. "No, I hurt her pretty badly." He was silent for a moment and then sighed. "Actually, we both did a number on each other, but if I did get a second chance, I wouldn't blow it this time."
The tiniest smile curved her lips. "What would you do differently?" She shook her head slightly, her hair sliding over her cheek, obscuring one side of her face. Whatever had made her leave it down today, she wasn't certain, but she was eternally grateful when she saw the way he was looking at it, his fingers flexing on the table top.
He tilted his head, a slow smile tugging at his lips. "I'd not be such a stubborn ass and insist that the only place to be together is here."
"So you'd be willing to spend time wherever she was?" Say yes, please whatever deity exists, say yes!
"Yeah, home isn't a place, it's a person and I lost mine when I forgot that." He leaned towards her, clasping his hands together on the table mere inches away from hers.
"I think she'd like to hear that," Katniss said softly.
"Yeah? I don't know, I hurt her pretty badly," he said, smiling as Lavinia set two mugs of coffee down in front of them.
The redhead returned a moment later with a small plate of cheese buns. "Sorry to interrupt, but your sister said you loved these."
Katniss felt tears pricking her eyes as she reached for a cheese bun, pulling it apart, waiting to speak until they were alone once more. "I think she hurt you pretty badly too, right?" She couldn't look at him right now without losing it and she inhaled sharply when his hand settled lightly atop her own.
"She did," he said gently. "But I deserved it, what I did was pretty shitty."
Glancing up at him through her lashes, she gave him a watery grin. "She'd probably want to tell you she's sorry too and that she's made a lot of mistakes."
"We both have," he said quietly. "But you're not here to stay and I can't leave, so we're right back where we were four years ago."
Katniss nodded, her heart shattering into a million tiny shards at the finality in his words. "We are."
Peeta sighed, removing his hand from her wrist. "Then, I guess we better discuss Rory's cake and leave the past in the past, hm?"
Katniss dropped her gaze to the table once more and nodded; missing the warmth of his touch so much it felt like someone had cut off her arm. "Yeah, that'd probably be the best thing for both of us."
"Tell Prim that Rory's cake is not only filled with chocolate ganache, but iced in it as well. Rory's preference for anything chocolate is well known. He's been a regular customer for many years."
Katniss looked back up at him. "She'll be so relieved, thank you." She took a sip of her coffee, staring at him over the rim. So, you'll be there tomorrow?"
Peeta nodded, taking a sip of his coffee. "I'll be at the ceremony and then I've got my delivery boy coming to drop off the cake so I can get it all set up for the reception."
"Okay then," Katniss said, scooting back her chair and standing up. "I guess that takes care of what I needed. I'll see you at the church tomorrow."
He reached out to lightly squeeze one of her hands. "Looking forward to it."
"Prim! The car's here," Katniss said, gathering the full skirt of her soft orange dress and holding it up as she ran lightly up the stairs. "Come on, little duck, we can't keep Rory waiting!"
"I'm ready," Prim said, stepping out of the bedroom they'd shared as girls at Haymitch's house. Her white ball gown fit her perfectly, deceptively simple in the styling, it had a series of lifts on the skirt that made it look like a soft pile of gently whipped cream. The tight sweetheart bodice flared over her small chest and left her shoulders bare. Long white gloves and a delicate diamond necklace were her only other adornments. "Except I need help with the veil." She held out the gauzy piece of fabric, shot through with shimmering strands of silver and edged in the lace from their mother's veil.
"Oh Prim, you look so beautiful," Katniss said as she moved behind her sister and gently fastened the veil in place, covering the delicate bun that rested on the back of her neck.
"So do you!" Prim said, as her sister moved back in front of her. "I knew that color would be perfect for you."
"I'm so happy for you, Prim. Mom and Dad would be too," Katniss said as she wiped away a tear that had formed at the corner of her eye.
"Don't make the girl cry, Sweetheart. This is a happy day," Haymitch said as he came up the stairs, looking dapper in a black tuxedo with a soft creamy white tie and orange vest that matched Katniss' dress perfectly. "C'mon ladies, our chariot awaits."
Haymitch led Prim down the stairs with Katniss following, holding her sister's skirt up so she could walk down the steep steps unimpeded. They were out the door and settled into the stretch limo a few minutes later.
The ride to the church took no time at all and when they pulled up in front, Prim grabbed Katniss' arm lightly. "I'm getting married! Right now!"
Katniss smiled, laying her hand atop Prim's. "You are, and you're going to be so happy, Rory loves you so much."
"I love him too, Katniss, more than I ever thought possible."
Haymitch exited the car and walked around to open the girl's door, holding his hand out to help Prim out of the car. She stepped out, Katniss following. Gale was waiting for them on the steps, his hair tipped in bright orange to match the color scheme. Katniss laughed as he sprinted down the short walkway. "Nice hair."
Gale laughed, picking her up and spinning her around. "I thought you'd appreciate it." He turned to look at Prim. "My brother isn't worthy of this vision. Prim, you look gorgeous."
A pretty blush settled on Prim's cheeks. "Stop you." She glanced over his shoulder at the closed doors of the church. "Is he very nervous?"
"Like a whore in church," Gale chortled. "He was convinced you weren't going to show up, so he sent me outside to personally escort you inside."
"Silly man, he's the one that insisted on the church wedding, I was all ready to go to Vegas."
"Primrose Everdeen! You were not!"
She shrugged and winked at her sister. "I was too! I just want to be married to him, the rest is just gravy."
"C'mon, let's get you inside and down that aisle before he shits himself," Gale said, nodding at Haymitch. Gale held his arm out to Katniss as Haymitch helped Prim up the steps and inside the church. Posy was waiting in the apse with the bouquets and she handed them out as they stepped inside.
Katniss lined up right behind Posy as the organ began to play. Her hand rested lightly on Gale's forearm as Posy walked slowly up the aisle on Vick's arm. A flash of blonde caught her eye and she inhaled sharply as bluer than blue eyes met hers, staying on her face the entire time she walked down the long aisle to the front of the church. Her heart was beating a million miles a minute and all she could think of was how amazing he looked in his dark blue suit. The music changed and her attention was drawn to Prim, standing at the end of the aisle on Haymitch's arm. She heard Rory's sob as Prim began walking, her eyes on him as she walked closer with each step.
Rory met them halfway. "God I love you," he said as Haymitch handed her over to him. Katniss could feel the tears gathering and she pulled the hanky Posy had tucked into the bouquet free and dabbed at her eyes. She felt Peeta's eyes on hers again and she glanced out, easily finding him in the sea of faces. She was blown away by the look on his face, her knees knocking together as heat seared through her. Despite everything, she wanted him still.
The ceremony passed in a blur and before she knew it, everyone was at the door of the church, tossing birdseed and congratulations as Prim and Rory got into the limo. Katniss leaned against the doors of the church, a wide smile on her face as she watched the car drive off.
A warm hand on her elbow made her turn around. Peeta was standing behind her. "Hi."
She smiled. "Hi."
He cleared his throat. "God, you look beautiful. That color on you is perfect."
"Thanks," Katniss said, feeling a blush creep up her cheeks. She'd fallen in love with the soft orange Prim had picked to be her main color, muted and rich, it was the perfect shade the sun turned as it set in late summer. Her gaze swept over him once more, her heart racing. "So do you."
He grinned, the tips of his ears turning red. "I uh, I have to go to the hotel now and I was wondering if you needed a ride over there?"
"Oh, um sure," she said. "I didn't even think how I was going to get over there." Gale strode up behind Peeta, his brow lifted in question. Katniss smiled and shook her head. "Gale, I'm going to head to the hotel with Peeta, I'll see you over there."
"Okay, but if you take more than an hour, I'm sending Haymitch after you."
Katniss' blush intensified and Peeta laughed. "I'll get her there in plenty of time, I have to set up the cake, remember?"
"Yeah, but the reception isn't for two hours. Lot can happen in two hours."
"Gale!" Katniss said softly, her cheeks flaming. "Stop it!"
He snorted with laughter. "Whatever Catnip, just don't be late, okay? Prim'll have my head."
"Did you need to get anything?" Peeta asked, drawing her attention once more.
"No, I left everything at the hotel because I knew we'd be there the rest of the night."
"Great, my truck's out back." He led the way through the church and out to the lot, unlocking the door and holding it open for her. After she got in, he carefully tucked her dress up and out of the way of the door before shutting it and jogging around to the driver's side. Pulling open the door, he slid into the seat and turned the key.