Hello, all who read this! I'm the Narrator. I enjoy telling stories of different original characters of the Bleach world. I write mostly on Quizilla, but since they became a little bitch, I'll also be posting here on fanfiction! This was my first story, I wrote it over a year ago, so, I hope no one minds the fact that it's off from what the manga has revealed. And uh...well, enjoy!

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away...er, wait...nevermind, that's another story...This story is quite different from that. Actually this story mostly takes place on Earth, in Karakura Town. But for right now we'll be starting in the beginning, which takes place in a magical place called Soul Society, in the western twenty-seventh district of Rukongai.

A small, eight year-old girl appeared in the middle of a busy street. "Aw, shit! I died!" She whined, crossing her arms and frowning deeply.

Well, uh, yeah...that's how it all started...The Adventures of Dead Girl!!

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" The no longer eight year-old girl was now much larger in chest and height. Not to mention was currently yelling in the ear of the narrator.

And speak of the devil! My, my, Hotaru, no need to shout.

"Well, my story isn't the 'Adventures of Dead Girl!' That's not even really what this story is about!" Hotaru said, placing her hands on her hips and turning towards the audience. "This, my dear people, is a tale of comedy, nudity, and romance...and more nudity. It's the story of a girl growing up from a young innocent third seat, working for one Urahara Kisuke, former twelfth captain of the Gotei 13, to the voluptuous, sassy young woman who just recently quit working for Kurotsuchi Mayuri, current twelfth captain of the Gotei 13, to pursue her yearning for her previous captain."

Riiiiight...anyway, let's go back to somewhere in the middle? Yeah, that should work...

One average day, the blonde captain of the twelfth division made his way through the labs in his division. Partially checking up on all of his underlings, but also trying to take a quick break from his own work. He smiled lightly upon seeing his official third seat diligently working, while using three rather thick books to boost herself up high enough to see the computer screen. Glancing over her head he took a look at what she was working on. "Ah, making a log of my latest research I see. Very good, Taru-chan!" He praised her, lightly ruffling her hair.

Looking back over her shoulder, the young girl grinned widely. "Thanks, Kisuke-taichō! I'm going to show everyone that you made the right decision by making me third seat! Just you wait and see!"

His eyes softened slightly, "I'll look forward to that..."

Sniffle, don't that just touch your heart?

Hotaru snorted disdainfully. "Yeah, I remember that day. I also remember the day he left me."

Perfect place to go next!

"WHAT?!" Tears began filling the young girls eyes. It had been over seven hundred years since the girl had come to Soul Society, but she still only looked as if she were merely fifteen. She clung tightly to the man she believed she had been falling in love with. "You can't leave me, taichō!! I need you Kisuke-taichō! You and Yoruichi-taichō have to stay!!"

Soothingly stroking her hair, he tried to calm the extremely emotional third seat. "Taru-chan, it'll be alright. I need you to stand strong for me. Keep watch over the division, and respect the new captain."

She wiped her eyes on his shirt and looked up at his face. "Bu-bu-bu-but, what'll I do if I can't stand this new captain? What if it's too much for me?!"

His expression softened slightly. She really had grown on him through the years. "No matter what, you'll always be welcome wherever I am." A sincere smile was showing through the tears in Hotaru's eyes. Hugging her tightly, he sighed. "Now I have to go...if you ever go to earth, find me and say hello."

"Of course." She sighed, releasing her now former captain from her grip. "...Goodbye for now..."

Ah, such a sad ending...

"Didn't you hear me? 'Goodbye for now' means I'll see him again!"

Oh...right...I knew that...Well, next came another sour note in your symphony of life.

"In other words, enter the beast from hell -- Kurotsuchi Mayuri."

The members of the twelfth squad stood in orderly rows as their new captain scanned them all. "Worthless pigs, no wonder this squad is in such disarray. Who knows what that damned Urahara was thinking."

Hotaru couldn't help but miss her previous captain. "Kisuke-taichō..." Her thoughts were quickly interrupted when a harsh finger was pointed in her face.

"Having someone like you as a third seat! Don't make me laugh!" Mayuri mocked the young girl, looming over her with a malicious look on his face. "Well, now that I'm in charge, I can save this division from the pandemonium it was headed for. To start, girl, I am removing you from your rank of third seat and completely removing you from my division!"

Her purple eyes widened in disbelief. "Wh-what?!"

Sneering cruelly at her the captain said, "What? Are you hard of hearing? Or just plain moronic? To put it simply. You. Are. Fired!" The extra emphasis on those last few words were almost enough to bring the young girl to tears.

Stay strong, Taru-chan..for me....

"Taichō!" Everyone's attention was brought to and elder member of the squad, a sixth seat. "Please, do not be deceived by her age. She may seem young, but is quite competent. And an extremely hard worker."

Another lower ranked officer stepped forward. "Yes. She has been here longer than quite a few of the squads members. Please, sir, allow Akimori-san to remain in this division!" Many murmmers of agreement were heard throughout the divisions meeting hall.

Glowering at his subordinates, Mayuri turned his nose up at their request. "Denied! What I decide is law!"

Respect your new captain...

Swallowing her pride, which was quite large for someone her size, she fell to her knees and bowed her head to the ground. "Mayuri-taichō, I honor and respect your decision. But truely, someone as powerful and astute as yourself will need subordinates to do the very menial tasks that won't require any attention from some one as important as yourself..."

Placing a hand to his chin...thing, he contemplated the idea she had so eloquently place before him. "That is true..." Skeptically glancing over the young girl once more he frowned deeply. "Alright. You shall remain in this division, but as an unseated member."

Keep watch over the division...

"At least I'll be here for the other squad members..." Hotaru thought to herself, as their new captain dismissed them.

What a bitch!

"Yeah, you're telling me." Hotaru rolled her eyes. "But soon I won't have to deal with him anymore..."

Oooh...foreshadowing...

"Dude, I already explained exactly where this is going to everyone reading this!"

Well...uh...stop ruining my fun! And to all reading this: until next time...