This was written for Bade Prompt's final round for the prompts "(S)he didn't tell you, did (s)he?" and "another suitcase in another hall."

Hopefully it's kind of funny and not too cheesy. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Disclaimed.


Jade West wasn't exactly the best roommate a girl could have.

She would be the first one to admit this. In fact, during the summer before her freshman year, she'd written a three-page letter on the subject in an attempt to avoid being assigned a dorm-mate.

It had been a very descriptive letter, including two pie charts and a statement from her psychologist about Jade's "significant rage issues," but it had ultimately been a fruitless effort, because the dean of admissions, Mr. Schneider, was a troll and he had thought she was being funny.

(She was now one of his favorite students and received a Christmas card from his wife every December, despite the strongly-worded rebuttals Jade wrote every January explaining that there seemed to be a miscommunication, because Jade did not have a sense of humor, and furthermore, Christmas made her want to swallow live leeches.)

Not only had her plea been ignored, she had been assigned to room with a girl named Carly, who smiled regularly and wore Victoria's Secret yoga pants everywhere and posted inspirational quotes on her Instagram until Jade was literally gagging at the screen.

Carly had once asked if Jade would like to caroling at a nursing home, and when Jade had asked why, she had answered forun.

So Jade wrote another forceful letter to the Dean, and was granted permission to buy an apartment off campus. Alone.


For a brief stint, Jade had it good. She hung up her posters, and for once in her life no one protested that they were deranged and disgusting and in buying them she was sending her hard-earned money straight into the pockets of Satan-worshipping serial killers.

Her fridge was empty and her coffee pot was always full, and there was no Carly to prod at her in the midst of a study session to ensure she was still alive. She belted out ringing vocal exercises in the shower.

And then came Tori.


Tori came because the doctor said that if Jade didn't start taking care of herself, she was going to have a nervous breakdown before she had finished her first final exam.

Jade had made the mistake of mentioning this to her ex-frenemy when Tori called for what she called 'the weekly review,' in which she repeatedly asked if Jade was eating and had she talked to Beck since... you know and then proceeded to fill the awkward silence with as much chatter about her most recent failed audition as her pop star voice could supply.

And two days later, Tori was banging on the door with all the might in her ridiculously-skinny arms and howling a lot of crap about how man couldn't live on coffee alone, and could Jade please let her in because the guy from three doors over kept winking at her and she was freezing.

"I'm trying to study," yelled Jade through the door.

"I kind of got into a ginormous fight with my mom and my agent yesterday," yelled Tori. "They were sleeping together or something, I don't know, but-" her voice cracked "-I really don't want to go back home right now, and your neighbor is literally licking his lips, Jade-"

Jade swung the door open with a half-hearted roar of rage, and let Tori in.


Tori refused to leave, and Jade stopped protesting after she came home from class to discover the girl had cleaned and decorated like the entire apartment with a bunch of weirdly hipster knick-knacks - the wealth of a million days of thrift shopping back in Hollywood - and had unearthed Jade's favorite pair of scissors, long thought lost forever, from the wreckage.

So she moved all her crap out of the second bedroom, procured a bed under questionable circumstances - Tori was pretty sure she'd stolen it from an orphanage or perhaps the mother in that Christmas Shoes song - and started eating a bit more regularly, at Tori's insistence.


The memo board was Tori's idea.

She had a lot of ideas these days, as she'd begun reading the IKEA catalogues for entertainment on the evenings when she locked herself in the bathroom to avoid being eaten from inside-out by Jade, whose caffeine-driven study sessions were a fearsome thing indeed.

She bought it cheap at a DIY store, along with a pack of pink dry-erase markers, then hung it on prominent display beside the fridge and went off to her afternoon shift at the local Skybucks happy.

When she returned, Jade had left the first memo of many on the board - several creatively phrased expletives surrounded by a lovely border of vaguely pornographic, scientifically inaccurate diagrams - so Tori knew she liked it as well.

Jade flipped her off when she brought it up that night over heaping bows of Spaghetti-O-Ramen-Noodle-Surprise (Tori was a terrible cook, mostly because she had a short attention span and a creative streak a mile wide), but by the next morning she had filled in her class schedule, so that was something.


Vega -

Whatever you do, don't listen to the messages on the answering machine. Don't call her back. And DON'T YOU DARE SAY YES.


Tori smiled casually when Jade stomped in that night, kicked her boots off with an abandon that had been the demise of many of Tori's more breakable knick-knacks, and glared.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked suspiciously.

Tori twirled some lomein around her fork innocently. "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

"I'm a theater major, and even I think that's a stupid joke," said Jade flatly. "I'm going to go shower. Save me an egg roll and do not start the dishwasher until after I'm out. I need the hot water-"

"I know, I know, 'cause you like to pretend you're being stewed by cannibalistic witches," sang Tori. "I won't. Have a nice shower!"

Jade stared at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just what I said," Tori smiled serenely.

She stomped away, leaving Tori to slurp her lomein in peace until a sudden shriek and a barrage of manic giggles sounded from Jade's bedroom.

"Surprise! I'm your new roommate, Jadey! Didja miss me? I missed you! I-"

"I AM GOING TO THROW THE DAMN ANSWERING MACHINE OUT THE WINDOW!"

"I heard that if you throw something out the window of the Empire State Building, it could kill someone," Cat interrupted eagerly. "Is that true? Can we try it? I want to see the Statue of Liberty. Did you know the French people gave it to us? Are all French people green, or is it just Liberty? Hey, hey, Jade, where are you going-"

The bathroom door slammed and the tell-tale rasp of the latch sounded. Tori smirked and then winced, hoping Jade would not take her rage out on the IKEA catalogue collection, which was building up behind the tampons in the cabinet under the sink.


Cat stayed, somehow. She'd gotten a part in some off-off-Broadway musical in which she was masquerading as a thirteen-year-old, and so had had to relocate more permanently to New York.

And Jade glowered about it and grumbled about how it was her damn apartment, but everyone knew that she'd always had a soft spot for Cat, and so the redhead stayed. They persuaded the creepy neighbor to help them squeeze another bed frame into Tori's room - Jade had put her foot down at sharing her own room - and started watching a great deal more chick flicks on television at night, but nothing else changed much.

Sometimes Jade even put down her school books long enough to watch an episode or two of America's Next Top Model with them. Those evenings, where they all crammed themselves on the couch and passed around a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream, Jade's feet under Tori's legs and Cat's hair constantly tickling everyone's necks, were the best of all.


Cat was the one who started using the memo board for anything beyond class schedules or cartoon porno, mostly just because she liked the scent of the magic markers and therefore jumped at all opportunities to use them.

Sometimes she drew hearts, once or twice she composed haikus (which were always done incorrectly because Cat could simply not grasp the concept of syllables) to different appliances in the room, but mostly she just wrote stuff like:

Attention, Everyone! Cat Valentine loves her friends, and hopes they will forgive her for accidentally putting detergent in the dish washer again, even though Jade said the first four times it happened never to do it again or else she would dye Cat's eyebrows pink so that they would clash with her hair. She is very sorry. Love, Cat.

Or:

Attention, Everyone! Cat Valentine's director told her today that she seemed like a good kid, but that roller skates are not allowed on stage. He's a meany and now I'm in a bad mood. Someone come and hug me please. Love, Cat.

And one time:

Attention, Everyone! Today we will have a surprise visitor for dinner! Tori, please don't try to cook because even though me and Jade appreciate your efforts, a surprise visitor might actually get a little scared when the stove goes on fire, even if that's just how you're supposed to make cereal. Love, Cat.


Nobody actually took it that seriously, because Cat's surprise friends normally were, like, imaginary.

Until there was a knock and Cat squealed happily and ran for the door with her flowered dress bouncing all prettily around her knees, and Tori had just enough time to wonder why Cat was dressed up, and then Beck Oliver walked into the apartment.

Tori, who had watched a particularly upsetting episode of a show about sexy demon hunter things, and consequently had not brushed her hair or even showered this morning, shrieked.

Jade, who was inexplicably wearing only a sports bra and pajama pants, and had been all day, made a disgruntled noise without looking up from her binder. "Tori, I don't actually care like at all about the homoerotic subtext in your dumb hipster show, so stop with the freaking squeaks or I'll evict you."

"Jade, hide," hissed Tori urgently.

The dark-haired girl looked up scornfully. "What the hell are you- the hell is he doing here?" she demanded, brows drawing down angrily, and then yowled as Tori flung a blanket over her person and hissed at her to SHHH.

Beck was at the moment grinning in a rather pained fashion as Cat attacked him with a violent hug and much flailing of limbs and scarlet hair. At last detracting himself, he smiled his usual knee-weakening grin towards the couch. "Hi, Tori."

"Hi," squeaked Tori, "Beck!"

"Tori," said Beck, grinning, "wow, hey. I can't tell you how awesome this is of you. It's great to see to see familiar faces, not just another suitcase in another hall, you know? I-"

"What- what're you doing here?" Tori managed rather rudely.

Beck's grin dropped suddenly, and he swore quietly. Cat looked scandalized.

"She didn't tell you, did she?"

"Tell me what?" Tori inquired suspiciously, fixing accusing eyes on Cat, who suddenly looked a bit anxious.

"I wanted it to be a surprise!" she said plaintively. "And I made spaghetti! Angel hair kind, 'cause it sounds so pretty-"

Beck was evidently not listening anymore, instead squinting at the blanket-covered form that Tori was rather conspicuously attempting to shield from his view; she was not succeeding particularly well, largely because she weighed perhaps a hundred pounds soaking wet.

"What's- Is there a person under there?"

"You can come out now," Tori sighed, sinking back on the couch and taking up a pillow behind which she planned to cower should this encounter come to blows.

"Oh, can I?" Jade snapped sarcastically, disheveled head appearing over the hem of the blanket. "My eyes just adjusted, and I'm trying to study. Some of us are actually trying to do something with our lives that doesn't involve serving up chair lattes to hipsters-"

"Jade?"

Jade's lip curled. "I'm going to go study somewhere quiet," she said serenely, and stalked out of the room with a great deal of dignity, considering her pajama pants were patterned with Snoopy.

Beck watched her go like the cartoon dogs weren't hurting his view any. It was only after Jade's bedroom door slammed that he turned back to Tori, who had cautiously reappeared over the protective barrier of her pillow, and a deviously giggling Cat. "What-"

This time it was Tori's turn to sigh and say with an accusing glare at the small redhead, "She didn't tell you, did she?"


Tori was only mad at Cat until she tried the first bite of the godly garlic bread she had made from scratch.

Then, mouth full, Tori quickly established that:

a) Beck had been living the gypsy lifestyle for seven months now, driving around the world with all his stuff in a backpack and crashing wherever the wind blew him

b) Cat had suggested the wind blow him eastwards, and that he come stay at their apartment in New York for a while

c) No, Cat had not told Tori or Jade this

d) Beck had not been aware that the apartment he was crashing at belonged primarily to his ex-girlfriend

e) Cat was definitely going to be doing the cooking from now on

"I won't stick around," promised Beck immediately. "If you let me crash on the couch here tonight, I can be out of here in the morning. I haven't stayed with Andre in a while-"

That was when Jade walked back in.

She had thankfully covered up her midriff with this awful, shapeless sweater that Tori always eyed covetously, because it was literally the most comfortable thing ever. But Jade had said enthusiastically that her grandfather had died while wearing this sweater, and then Tori had stopped wanting it quite so badly.

Jade quietly filled a plate with pasta, plunked it down on the table, and raised her pierced eyebrow at Beck derisively. "I didn't know Beck had a sister."

His eyebrows drew together, puzzled, and then he put his hand to his hair with a rueful grin. "Oh. Yeah, I haven't cut it in a while, I guess-"

"Part of this whole nomadic vagabond thing you've got going on?"

"It's not a permanent thing. I'm just, you know, taking a year. Gonna find myself or whatever," Beck said self-consciously, with a twist of irony to try and play it off.

"You're right here," Cat protested blankly.

"Unfortunately," Jade muttered. "When are you leaving?"

"He's taking the couch for the night," said Tori hastily, "and we're going to talk about it in the morning."

"But-"

"Don't you have something to study for?"

Jade growled and headed back to her bedroom with her plate full of spaghetti, muttering mutinously about how it was her damn apartment anyway.

Beck watched her go. Tori watched him, and then caught Cat's eyes with sudden understanding. There was a brief eye-conversation, and then devious smiles were exchanged.

The morning's conversation was going to be an interesting one.


In fact, it wasn't.

Jade was gone before anyone else awoke, so basically Cat and Tori just ate the apology pancakes Beck had so artfully crafted and agreed that Beck could certainly stick around, and that Jade wouldn't mind a bit,

"It'll just be for a few days," said Beck apologetically.

"Don't rush," said Cat, smiling sugar-sweetly.

And that was that.


Cat was in favor of an elaborate spaghetti dinner, ala Lady and the Tramp, but Tori thought that might be overkill, though she certainly did not discourage the idea that Cat continue to cook them meals.

Instead, she wrote a lovely and casual note on the Memo board:

Dear Jade and Beck,

Cat and I are going out tonight, having scored a date with some hotty brothers I met at Skybucks. Don't expect us home until late. Beck, please make sure Jade eats, because the doctors have all been very clear that recovering caffeine-addicts need a lot of sustenance. There's probably stuff in the fridge, idk. Jade, please be nice.


It was a Wednesday, which was usually Jade's favorite day of the week, and she was in a pretty good mood. She had finished her homework in a timely fashion at the library, which meant she make it into bed before midnight, there were leftovers in the fridge, and there was a particularly gruesome episode of Criminal Minds premiering on TV later that night which Jade couldn't wait to sink her teeth into.

She was laying on her stomach on the living room rug, occasionally folding laundry and mostly just catching up on last week's episode - also deliciously gruesome, as that was the nature of the show - while eating cold lomein from the carton, when someone buzzed from the door.

This was an unusual occurrence, as both Tori and Cat had keys and an aversion to the way their voices sounded over the intercom, and Jade had pretty much decided to ignore it when it sounded once more.

Growling, she staggered upright and padded in bare feet to the door, jabbing at the intercom and rattling off her customary greeting:

"I don't want to buy your revolutionary new product, politics make me want to gargle acid, and Jesus Christ and I have already agreed to disagree."

There was a stunned pause. Then, dryly, "I see some things haven't changed."

"Oh my god, are you still here?" demanded Jade disgustedly.

"Um, yes," said Beck. "But I have groceries and decaf Skybucks, so…"

Jade promptly buzzed him in.


Dinner was very much a silent affair, in which Beck attempted conversation and Jade repeatedly and very pointedly said, "Oh, are you still here?"

At last Beck said, "So you're off caffeine?"

Jade made a face. "Why do you know that?"

He gestured to the Memo board on the fridge with his chin and said, "It said on the thing."

"I never read the crap they put on there," explained Jade, craning her neck to read the pink marker penmanship as her expression grew progressively darker and darker. "I'm not an addict," she said flatly, sinking back into her chair with an all-out scowl brewing on her face now.

Beck shrugged. "I didn't think you could get addicted to caffeine."

"I wasn't. I was just strung out from exams and stuff; God forbid I work hard 'cause I actually want to do something with my life—"

"Doing stuff's overrated," Beck said lightly.

Jade looked up. "Yeah, about that. Last I'd heard, your pilot had been picked up. What happened to that?"

"I quit."

"You always were a drama queen."

"Jade, I made a mistake—"

"You were practically the main character, Beck, I'd say you made a pretty big mistake," scoffed Jade, and got to her feet.

"Not about that," said Beck sharply. "That's about the only thing I'm sure of anymore – I did the right thing for once then."

"And since then you've done, what, channel your inner gypsy?" she challenged, putting her plate in the sink and moving to harshly smudge the word addicts off the Memo board.

"I've been, like, finding myself," said Beck lamely, standing and watching her turn away.

Jade snorted. "Let me know when you do," she said crisply. "I've got a paper to read."

"But the thing is," Beck said hastily, "I think I finally did. Find myself, I mean. I think I— Do you remember how whenever I used to complain about something you did, you'd say I'd be lost without you?"

Jade looked at him warily, but did not deny this.

"I thought I was doing the right thing for both of us," he said earnestly, "but I've been lost. I screwed up my career and I screwed up my future and I screwed up us, and the really screwed up thing is that I only really even care about that last one, so—"

Jade looked at her watch. "You've got five minutes," she said abruptly, "to convince me before Criminal Minds starts. Talk fast."


Tori and Cat walked in late and generally unhappy, having spent the last several hours in an uncomfortable booth of a nearby diner and fantasizing about how a date with the convenient brothers they'd invented would have gone.

The living room was dark, save for the flickering lights of the television against the wall opposite it, illuminating two blanketed forms on the couch.

Cat, on stealthy tiptoes, poked her head into the room to investigate, and turned back to shrug at Tori. Beck and Jade were both asleep. They were not holding hands, they were fully clothed, and they appeared to have been watching violent crime dramas before they'd dozed off.

But the next morning Tori awoke to Beck brewing decaf coffee, stirring two teaspoons of sugar into the aromatic brew while Jade ranted to him about what all the serial killers did wrong, and how it led to their capture.

Jade was smiling. Beck's distinctive scrawl had marked his schedule onto the Memo board in pink marker.

Tori got the feeling he'd be sticking around for a while.


I am actually really disappointed by this, but after days and days of struggling, this was the best I could do. Thanks to Bade Prompts for allowing me to participate. Hopefully I didn't disappoint them too terribly.

Please review, particularly if you're going to favorite, unlikely as that may be :P Thanks, guys!