"Muh-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Voldemort laughed. "This is the GREATEST plan yet!
Potter will be defeated this time!" The Death Eaters laughed at this, all
happy that the Potter boy would finally be going down.
"Master, you letter is being delivered.but.um.we were wondering." Malfoy said.
"WHAT?" Voldemort shrieked.
"Can we have some of that pizza?" he asked.
"NO! CRUCIO!" Voldemort shrieked. Malfoy was at once on the ground.shrieking and twitching. "This is too good for you!"
Harry stared blankly at the flickering fireplace in the Gryffindor Common room. There was a terrible screaming in the background, which gave it an eerie effect. Hermione and Ron were terribly worried about him for he had just received a letter from the horrible Dark Lord, Voldemort.
"Harry.we know this is quite upsetting.please.tell us what's on your mind." Hermione piped up.
"Yeah.can we read the letter?" Ron asked, eager to go on another adventure.
"RON!" Hermione snapped, but Harry nodded.
Hermione, now eager too, grabbed the letter and read aloud.
"I will get you Potter.my plan is finally coming together.soon, you will be dead!
Ps. I have stolen that pizza you ordered last night! Muh-ha-ha-ha!"
The note was written in pizza sauce and was not signed.
"Harry, you'll be safe, nothing will happen, I promise!" Hermione said.
"Yeah, we're here with you all the way!" Ron said.
"No.it's not that.he's stupid and I can defeat him any day!" Harry snapped.
"Well, what's wrong?" they both asked.
"HE STOLE MY PIZZA!" Harry wailed. "They don't serve pizza here and I've been craving it! My meat lovers pizza.in HIS stomach! I can't bear it! I want MY PIZZA!"
Hermione and Ron stared at him blankly and quite confused.
"We'll.umm.order you another one.umm," Ron said, trying to hold in laughter.
"NO, IT WON'T BE THE SAME PIZZA!" Harry shouted. By now, the whole common room was staring.
"YEAH! HE'S RIGHT!" Fred yelled. Everyone was agreeing with Harry, to Ron and Hermione's disbelief.
"What? It's just a pizza!" Hermione yelled.
"No one steals a PIZZA!" a first year yelled.
"STOP IT!" Ron protested, getting a little frightened.
"IT'S UNHUMAIN!"
"I'd rather DIE than loose a pizza!"
"What is wrong with you?" Hermione snapped.
"Yeah.what's going on?" Ron shouted. The common room then grew dead quite and everyone stared at Ron and Hermione.
"You unfeeling git!" Ginny screamed. "Don't you see.Harry's lost a PIZZA.A PIZZA!"
"Yeah!" everyone yelled.
"You suck!"
"And you call yourselves Harry's friends!" George snapped.
"What? IT'S A PIZZA! A PIZZA!"
"Yeah, why else would this be such an issue?" Parvati asked.
"I'm going to bed!" Hermione announced and ran upstairs. A pizza? This had to be some sort of cruel joke. How could this mean so much. Harry Potter was just playing with her and she didn't appreciate it. Well, it ought to pass in the morning, she thought as she got ready for bed. Soon, she was in deep sleep, not thinking of Harry or his Meat Lovers Pizza.
"I have some terrible news," Dumbledore said, standing up. The whole Great Hall got to a dead silence.
"Harry Potter received a note from the Dark Lord last night." Dumbledore began to cry."He.his.PIZZA WAS STOLEN!"
Everyone but Harry, Ron and Hermione gasped at this shocking news.
"EVEN I WOULD NEVER STEAL HIS PIZZA!" Draco Malfoy shouted out. The Slytherins were also outraged with this news. Hermione's mouth dropped and Ron stared blankly around the Great Hall. Snape was so shocked, he even yelled his apology to Harry, McGonagal was in tears and Draco was protesting. Cho ran over and hugged Harry, swearing that she'd get the madman who did this.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Ron shouted, climbing on the table.
"What is wrong with you?" Dumbledore asked him.
"It's a pizza! Just a pizza! I don't get it! Is this a joke? Who cares about a PIZZA? It's not even that GOOD!" There was another gasp from the crowd and soon, food came flying from every direction and hit Ron.
"YOU PIZZA HATER!" Lavender Brown shouted.
"HE PROBABLY COULDN'T EVER AFFORD IT!" Draco yelled, throwing a biscuit at Ron.
"OW!" Ron yelped as he dove under the table.
"I thought you were my friend Ron." Harry said to him, quietly.
"It's just a pizza! Aren't you worried? He has a plan to KILL you!"
"He always does.I can handle that.but.I'll never be able to save my PIZZA!" Harry began to sob.
"If it means that much to you.Hermione and I will go save your pizza," Ron sighed, utterly confused.
"You mean it?" Harry asked, clearly touched.
"Yes, I." Ron said, but soon Harry was hugging him tightly, crying on his shoulder. Ron, confused, patted him on the back.
"Yes, it's ok.we'll avenge your pizza." Ron whispered. Hermione, suddenly feeling all-sentimental, joined the hug.
"Awwww," everyone in the Great Hall sighed.
"You three have permission to go forth and save the pizza!" Dumbledore announced. Everyone was now cheering and Harry was smiling broadly as if his greatest wish had come true.
"You know.I don't get it...but.it is kind of sweet." Hermione whispered to Ron.
"Hey.now I want some pizza!" Ron whined. Hermione rolled her eyes and the three of them walked out of the Great Hall and went to prepare to avenge the pizza.
"PIZZA, PIZZA, PIZZA!" everyone was chanting as they left.
"So, you ready to go boys?" Hermione asked as she put a back pack on.
"What's in the bag?" Ron asked.
"Spell books.and, a little something special for Harry," she said, blushing. She pulled out the "Big Spell Book of Pizzas." Harry smiled and hugged her.
"Thanks Mione!" He kissed her lightly on the cheek and then headed for the portrait hole. "Well, let's go!"
Hermione was blushing furiously as she walked to the portrait hole, dragging a still very confused Ron behind her.
"Well, here we go!" Harry said as the three of them left the common room.
It was a lovely night, the stars were shining and the moon was full. Harry wasn't pleased though. This pizza thing was getting way out of hand.
They began to walk into the forbidden forest, where it was rumored that Voldemort was staying.
"So, where do you think he'll be?" Ron asked.getting nervous.
"Follow the scent of pizza," Harry said, getting serious. Ron sighed, but followed Harry. Hermione sniffed the air and then smiled.
"Harry! It's this way!" Hermione said.
"How'd you know that?" they both asked.
"Oh, I have a nose for pizza.it used to be my favorite food and I can smell it from a mile away!" Hermione said, full of pride. "This way, follow me!"
Ron stared and Harry smiled, running after her. Ron soon followed, but, it took him a while to catch up.
They ran for an hour before seeing a man in a black cloak. Harry stunned him and Hermione and Ron dragged him behind a big tree.
"Acio," Hermione said. The Death Eater woke and stared.
"Where's my pizza?" Harry growled.
"Umm.I don't know!" the Death Eater sobbed.
"Yes you do.where is that pizza thief, Voldemort?" Harry asked.
"He's.straight ahead.You can't miss it! I hate him! He wouldn't give me any pizza!" Harry recognized the voice as Mr. Malfoy's.
"Thank you, sir," Hermione said politely. Ron looked at her.
"You just always have to be perfect, don't you?" he asked, disgusted. She smiled and nodded.
Harry stunned him and the three of them walked straight ahead. Soon, they saw Voldemort and by his side, the box of pizza. Harry stared at Voldemort with a burning hate, but not for long. He soon fell, stunned from an attack from the behind. Hermione and Ron quickly turned around to see fifteen Death Eaters behind them. They dropped their wands out of fear and then were stunned too.
Hermione was the first to awake. She and Ron were tied up back to back and gagged. Ron woke up next, shocked, screaming muffled screams.
"You stupid children," Voldemort laughed. "I win!"
Harry was nowhere to be seen. Voldemort ungagged Hermione.
"Where's Harry?" she gasped.
"WHERE'S HARRY?"
Harry woke up and found himself gagged, tied and blindfolded, but he could smell the alluring scent of his meat lover's pizza. He struggled, but it was no use, he was trapped, so close yet so far away.
"Potter," Voldemort whispered in his ear. "Smells good, doesn't it? It tasted very good, but, I saved half of it.just for you." Voldemort ripped of the blindfold and Harry blinked. He was tied to a tree and could not move at all and just in front of him was half of his pizza, still hot and fresh.
Voldemort picked up a slice and held it an inch from Harry's face and then took a bite of it. Harry whimpered as he saw his prize being devoured by that being of evil. I will get you, he thought, craving his pizza.
"Now what are you going to do?" Voldemort laughed after finishing the piece of pizza. "Poor Harry Potter, defenseless.you are gonna die." Harry struggled against the ropes, but they were too tight.
"BRING ME THE CHILDREN!" Voldemort shrieked.
Hermione and Ron found themselves being dragged to where Voldemort had gone five minutes ago. Hermione was in tears and Ron was still confused.
"Welcome!" Voldemort said as they were set down next to Harry, Ron facing Harry and Hermione facing the other way.
"Harry's pizza," Hermione whispered. "You are such a strange man.who steals a pizza?"
"I do," Voldemort said, getting a little annoyed.
"A pizza? I mean.why did not you kidnap one of us.that would have been better bait."
"Well, he wouldn't have come if I took one of you.would you?"
Voldemort ripped the gag off Harry. "He's got a point," Harry said.
"WHAT?" Hermione shrieked. "A pizza! You can always get a pizza! But.your best friends?"
"You can never replace the perfection of a pizza, you can always get new best friends," Voldemort said to her, ungagging Ron.
"Harry? I understand Ronco cookers.but.a pizza? Come on!" Ron was clearly confused, but he still had an obsession with Ronco Cookers. Hermione rolled her eyes and looked at Voldemort.
"You've messed with Harry's mind! You messed with the whole SCHOOLS minds!" Hermione shouted.
"Very good.but.you were too smart, so it didn't work on you and Weasley.well, he hasn't got a mind to "mess" with."
"What?" Ron said. "Sorry, I wasn't listening."
"See my point?"
"Yes," Hermione said.
"But, no matter.I've won.you see.I made everyone have a crazy obsession with pizza for I knew that Harry had just ordered one. I kidnapped his pizza and then wrote the letter, which I knew would lure him here and.well.here he is.the Famous Harry Potter.caught by pizza!" Voldemort laughed softly and Hermione scowled.
"What was that.I don't get it!" Ron said. "Why pizza?"
"You are clever.I give you that.but.now what do you plan to do?" Hermione snarled.
"First, I'm gonna finish my pizza."
It took Voldemort an hour to eat the rest of the pizza. They sat there, watching in total shock. Harry was so mad, wanting his pizza increasingly by the minute and Ron and Hermione stared, not knowing what to do.
"So, what about the minds of everyone?" Hermione asked.
"What do you mean?" Voldemort snapped.
"I mean.are you gonna leave them like that?"
"Why not.pizza is a good thing.ah.I love it! Maybe I could get Dumbledore like this."
"HEY! You!" a Death Eater shouted.
"What?" Voldemort shrieked.
"I want PIZZA!" Soon, hoards of Death Eaters were attacking Voldemort. One even untied Harry, who untied Ron and Hermione. The three of them ran far away from the mess. After a half an hour, they stopped, completely out of breathe.
"Now to break this charm!" Hermione panted, raising her wand.
"I had the weirdest dream," Harry said to Ron the next morning.
"Really?" Ron asked.
"Yea.I was obsessed with pizza!" Harry sat on the edge of the bed, staring at Ron. Ron laughed at this.
"What?"
"Nothing.just.pizza?" Ron asked, thinking about last night's events. He didn't remember.not at all.
"Yea, weird huh? I'd save pizza over you.well, that could never happen," Harry said, smiling a little.
Ron laughed again. "Yep, Harry, that would never ever happen!"
"I mean.pizza?" Harry said. "Voldemort stole my pizza.weird huh? You know.I never got that pizza I ordered last night.hmm.oh well."
"Yeah, weird."
"What are you boys doing?" Hermione was in the boys' dorm.
"You can't be in here Mione.," Harry said. Ron threw a pillow at her and she threw it back.
"Guess what I've heard?" Hermione said, sitting next to Harry.
"What?"
"We're having a Meat Lover's Pizza for dinner tonight." Ron and Hermione collapsed in laughter at this, leaving Harry and the rest of the school in the dark.
"Master, you letter is being delivered.but.um.we were wondering." Malfoy said.
"WHAT?" Voldemort shrieked.
"Can we have some of that pizza?" he asked.
"NO! CRUCIO!" Voldemort shrieked. Malfoy was at once on the ground.shrieking and twitching. "This is too good for you!"
Harry stared blankly at the flickering fireplace in the Gryffindor Common room. There was a terrible screaming in the background, which gave it an eerie effect. Hermione and Ron were terribly worried about him for he had just received a letter from the horrible Dark Lord, Voldemort.
"Harry.we know this is quite upsetting.please.tell us what's on your mind." Hermione piped up.
"Yeah.can we read the letter?" Ron asked, eager to go on another adventure.
"RON!" Hermione snapped, but Harry nodded.
Hermione, now eager too, grabbed the letter and read aloud.
"I will get you Potter.my plan is finally coming together.soon, you will be dead!
Ps. I have stolen that pizza you ordered last night! Muh-ha-ha-ha!"
The note was written in pizza sauce and was not signed.
"Harry, you'll be safe, nothing will happen, I promise!" Hermione said.
"Yeah, we're here with you all the way!" Ron said.
"No.it's not that.he's stupid and I can defeat him any day!" Harry snapped.
"Well, what's wrong?" they both asked.
"HE STOLE MY PIZZA!" Harry wailed. "They don't serve pizza here and I've been craving it! My meat lovers pizza.in HIS stomach! I can't bear it! I want MY PIZZA!"
Hermione and Ron stared at him blankly and quite confused.
"We'll.umm.order you another one.umm," Ron said, trying to hold in laughter.
"NO, IT WON'T BE THE SAME PIZZA!" Harry shouted. By now, the whole common room was staring.
"YEAH! HE'S RIGHT!" Fred yelled. Everyone was agreeing with Harry, to Ron and Hermione's disbelief.
"What? It's just a pizza!" Hermione yelled.
"No one steals a PIZZA!" a first year yelled.
"STOP IT!" Ron protested, getting a little frightened.
"IT'S UNHUMAIN!"
"I'd rather DIE than loose a pizza!"
"What is wrong with you?" Hermione snapped.
"Yeah.what's going on?" Ron shouted. The common room then grew dead quite and everyone stared at Ron and Hermione.
"You unfeeling git!" Ginny screamed. "Don't you see.Harry's lost a PIZZA.A PIZZA!"
"Yeah!" everyone yelled.
"You suck!"
"And you call yourselves Harry's friends!" George snapped.
"What? IT'S A PIZZA! A PIZZA!"
"Yeah, why else would this be such an issue?" Parvati asked.
"I'm going to bed!" Hermione announced and ran upstairs. A pizza? This had to be some sort of cruel joke. How could this mean so much. Harry Potter was just playing with her and she didn't appreciate it. Well, it ought to pass in the morning, she thought as she got ready for bed. Soon, she was in deep sleep, not thinking of Harry or his Meat Lovers Pizza.
"I have some terrible news," Dumbledore said, standing up. The whole Great Hall got to a dead silence.
"Harry Potter received a note from the Dark Lord last night." Dumbledore began to cry."He.his.PIZZA WAS STOLEN!"
Everyone but Harry, Ron and Hermione gasped at this shocking news.
"EVEN I WOULD NEVER STEAL HIS PIZZA!" Draco Malfoy shouted out. The Slytherins were also outraged with this news. Hermione's mouth dropped and Ron stared blankly around the Great Hall. Snape was so shocked, he even yelled his apology to Harry, McGonagal was in tears and Draco was protesting. Cho ran over and hugged Harry, swearing that she'd get the madman who did this.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Ron shouted, climbing on the table.
"What is wrong with you?" Dumbledore asked him.
"It's a pizza! Just a pizza! I don't get it! Is this a joke? Who cares about a PIZZA? It's not even that GOOD!" There was another gasp from the crowd and soon, food came flying from every direction and hit Ron.
"YOU PIZZA HATER!" Lavender Brown shouted.
"HE PROBABLY COULDN'T EVER AFFORD IT!" Draco yelled, throwing a biscuit at Ron.
"OW!" Ron yelped as he dove under the table.
"I thought you were my friend Ron." Harry said to him, quietly.
"It's just a pizza! Aren't you worried? He has a plan to KILL you!"
"He always does.I can handle that.but.I'll never be able to save my PIZZA!" Harry began to sob.
"If it means that much to you.Hermione and I will go save your pizza," Ron sighed, utterly confused.
"You mean it?" Harry asked, clearly touched.
"Yes, I." Ron said, but soon Harry was hugging him tightly, crying on his shoulder. Ron, confused, patted him on the back.
"Yes, it's ok.we'll avenge your pizza." Ron whispered. Hermione, suddenly feeling all-sentimental, joined the hug.
"Awwww," everyone in the Great Hall sighed.
"You three have permission to go forth and save the pizza!" Dumbledore announced. Everyone was now cheering and Harry was smiling broadly as if his greatest wish had come true.
"You know.I don't get it...but.it is kind of sweet." Hermione whispered to Ron.
"Hey.now I want some pizza!" Ron whined. Hermione rolled her eyes and the three of them walked out of the Great Hall and went to prepare to avenge the pizza.
"PIZZA, PIZZA, PIZZA!" everyone was chanting as they left.
"So, you ready to go boys?" Hermione asked as she put a back pack on.
"What's in the bag?" Ron asked.
"Spell books.and, a little something special for Harry," she said, blushing. She pulled out the "Big Spell Book of Pizzas." Harry smiled and hugged her.
"Thanks Mione!" He kissed her lightly on the cheek and then headed for the portrait hole. "Well, let's go!"
Hermione was blushing furiously as she walked to the portrait hole, dragging a still very confused Ron behind her.
"Well, here we go!" Harry said as the three of them left the common room.
It was a lovely night, the stars were shining and the moon was full. Harry wasn't pleased though. This pizza thing was getting way out of hand.
They began to walk into the forbidden forest, where it was rumored that Voldemort was staying.
"So, where do you think he'll be?" Ron asked.getting nervous.
"Follow the scent of pizza," Harry said, getting serious. Ron sighed, but followed Harry. Hermione sniffed the air and then smiled.
"Harry! It's this way!" Hermione said.
"How'd you know that?" they both asked.
"Oh, I have a nose for pizza.it used to be my favorite food and I can smell it from a mile away!" Hermione said, full of pride. "This way, follow me!"
Ron stared and Harry smiled, running after her. Ron soon followed, but, it took him a while to catch up.
They ran for an hour before seeing a man in a black cloak. Harry stunned him and Hermione and Ron dragged him behind a big tree.
"Acio," Hermione said. The Death Eater woke and stared.
"Where's my pizza?" Harry growled.
"Umm.I don't know!" the Death Eater sobbed.
"Yes you do.where is that pizza thief, Voldemort?" Harry asked.
"He's.straight ahead.You can't miss it! I hate him! He wouldn't give me any pizza!" Harry recognized the voice as Mr. Malfoy's.
"Thank you, sir," Hermione said politely. Ron looked at her.
"You just always have to be perfect, don't you?" he asked, disgusted. She smiled and nodded.
Harry stunned him and the three of them walked straight ahead. Soon, they saw Voldemort and by his side, the box of pizza. Harry stared at Voldemort with a burning hate, but not for long. He soon fell, stunned from an attack from the behind. Hermione and Ron quickly turned around to see fifteen Death Eaters behind them. They dropped their wands out of fear and then were stunned too.
Hermione was the first to awake. She and Ron were tied up back to back and gagged. Ron woke up next, shocked, screaming muffled screams.
"You stupid children," Voldemort laughed. "I win!"
Harry was nowhere to be seen. Voldemort ungagged Hermione.
"Where's Harry?" she gasped.
"WHERE'S HARRY?"
Harry woke up and found himself gagged, tied and blindfolded, but he could smell the alluring scent of his meat lover's pizza. He struggled, but it was no use, he was trapped, so close yet so far away.
"Potter," Voldemort whispered in his ear. "Smells good, doesn't it? It tasted very good, but, I saved half of it.just for you." Voldemort ripped of the blindfold and Harry blinked. He was tied to a tree and could not move at all and just in front of him was half of his pizza, still hot and fresh.
Voldemort picked up a slice and held it an inch from Harry's face and then took a bite of it. Harry whimpered as he saw his prize being devoured by that being of evil. I will get you, he thought, craving his pizza.
"Now what are you going to do?" Voldemort laughed after finishing the piece of pizza. "Poor Harry Potter, defenseless.you are gonna die." Harry struggled against the ropes, but they were too tight.
"BRING ME THE CHILDREN!" Voldemort shrieked.
Hermione and Ron found themselves being dragged to where Voldemort had gone five minutes ago. Hermione was in tears and Ron was still confused.
"Welcome!" Voldemort said as they were set down next to Harry, Ron facing Harry and Hermione facing the other way.
"Harry's pizza," Hermione whispered. "You are such a strange man.who steals a pizza?"
"I do," Voldemort said, getting a little annoyed.
"A pizza? I mean.why did not you kidnap one of us.that would have been better bait."
"Well, he wouldn't have come if I took one of you.would you?"
Voldemort ripped the gag off Harry. "He's got a point," Harry said.
"WHAT?" Hermione shrieked. "A pizza! You can always get a pizza! But.your best friends?"
"You can never replace the perfection of a pizza, you can always get new best friends," Voldemort said to her, ungagging Ron.
"Harry? I understand Ronco cookers.but.a pizza? Come on!" Ron was clearly confused, but he still had an obsession with Ronco Cookers. Hermione rolled her eyes and looked at Voldemort.
"You've messed with Harry's mind! You messed with the whole SCHOOLS minds!" Hermione shouted.
"Very good.but.you were too smart, so it didn't work on you and Weasley.well, he hasn't got a mind to "mess" with."
"What?" Ron said. "Sorry, I wasn't listening."
"See my point?"
"Yes," Hermione said.
"But, no matter.I've won.you see.I made everyone have a crazy obsession with pizza for I knew that Harry had just ordered one. I kidnapped his pizza and then wrote the letter, which I knew would lure him here and.well.here he is.the Famous Harry Potter.caught by pizza!" Voldemort laughed softly and Hermione scowled.
"What was that.I don't get it!" Ron said. "Why pizza?"
"You are clever.I give you that.but.now what do you plan to do?" Hermione snarled.
"First, I'm gonna finish my pizza."
It took Voldemort an hour to eat the rest of the pizza. They sat there, watching in total shock. Harry was so mad, wanting his pizza increasingly by the minute and Ron and Hermione stared, not knowing what to do.
"So, what about the minds of everyone?" Hermione asked.
"What do you mean?" Voldemort snapped.
"I mean.are you gonna leave them like that?"
"Why not.pizza is a good thing.ah.I love it! Maybe I could get Dumbledore like this."
"HEY! You!" a Death Eater shouted.
"What?" Voldemort shrieked.
"I want PIZZA!" Soon, hoards of Death Eaters were attacking Voldemort. One even untied Harry, who untied Ron and Hermione. The three of them ran far away from the mess. After a half an hour, they stopped, completely out of breathe.
"Now to break this charm!" Hermione panted, raising her wand.
"I had the weirdest dream," Harry said to Ron the next morning.
"Really?" Ron asked.
"Yea.I was obsessed with pizza!" Harry sat on the edge of the bed, staring at Ron. Ron laughed at this.
"What?"
"Nothing.just.pizza?" Ron asked, thinking about last night's events. He didn't remember.not at all.
"Yea, weird huh? I'd save pizza over you.well, that could never happen," Harry said, smiling a little.
Ron laughed again. "Yep, Harry, that would never ever happen!"
"I mean.pizza?" Harry said. "Voldemort stole my pizza.weird huh? You know.I never got that pizza I ordered last night.hmm.oh well."
"Yeah, weird."
"What are you boys doing?" Hermione was in the boys' dorm.
"You can't be in here Mione.," Harry said. Ron threw a pillow at her and she threw it back.
"Guess what I've heard?" Hermione said, sitting next to Harry.
"What?"
"We're having a Meat Lover's Pizza for dinner tonight." Ron and Hermione collapsed in laughter at this, leaving Harry and the rest of the school in the dark.