Hello there everyone! This is Fira and me and my co-writer Sabrina are here to give you some Hetalia fanfiction!
This is no ordinary Hetalia fanfiction though, this story is about two countries that have never been heard of at all. The country pairing in this fanfiction are Czesvania and Dretopia. Yes, these countries do not exist at all BUT bear with us, this use to be a war against me and Sabrina so we created countries. I know OC countries tend to be like actual countries but we went with actual OC's for this. Don't worry, there are many Hetalia antics and crazy and some OOC, not by much, we promise. We also apologize in advance for any grammatical errors!
This first chapter is Sabrina's with her character Czesvania!
We hope you enjoy!
Bad Temper of the Loquat Sprouted On My Brow
Un jour, the sky was blue, the grass green; ripe maize were dandelion yellow, and tomatoes poppy red. Beyond the stretch of lush forest, green water licked the sand, leaving remnants of plant life on the eroded particles. All is quiet on the island.
Out of the blue, the thunder of machine guns began echoing through the once bright sky. Women and children scuttled to their basements as men watched in frightened awe. Animals scurried to their trees and burrows. Insects found refuge under the crops. Why was there gunfire in the air over a country that has not been militarily involved in decades? Wh-why…why are these gunners being so fucking annoying?!
"HEY!" The sun seared my vision but I still looked straight up, towards the airplanes shooting over the crops. "GET OFF MY DAMN LAND!"
All I could hear in reply was, "HYAHAHAHA! Once I defeat you those big jerks will have to consider me a country!"
I looked at the firing planes with disbelief. What the hell? Then, boom! A piece of metal as large as myself landed just half a meter in front of me; dirt, fertilizer, and a few corn heads sent flying.
The other men gazed at me, their mouths hanging ajar. "Holy shit!" a farmer exclaimed. "Are you alright boss?" inquired a burly toter.
Heat blazed through my cheeks and burned mine eyes. "That fuckin' does it!" I shouted, bawling my fists. "I'm going to blow those mother fuckers out of the sky!" I pivoted and began marching towards my shed where I keep all my annoying neighbors necessities: a shot gun, a machine gun, a chainsaw, a pitchfork, yippee dog toys, a blowtorch, a fork lift, and a third generation jet fighter.
Who do these bastards think they are, freakin' tearin' it up over my far-Boom! Then I ate dirt. And I don't mean a little bit of fertilizer on my tongue, I mean that I would find rocks between my teeth afterwards.
"Ouchouchouchouchouchouchouch~!" Something wasn't right. That wasn't my voice. I looked over to my right and sprawled on the fertilized soil was…a girl. "That damn midget is gonna get it the next time we cross paths!" she howled. She propped herself on her elbows. "That fucking biscuit isn't even a country!"
I sat up and stared at her as she also propped herself on her posterior. Her hair was braided into thick, yet intricate cornrows. Her hair was a softer brown than all the chocolates that Francis had ever let me see. "Who the hell are you?" I demanded.
The girl's back straightened in surprise and her gaze narrowed in on me. Her eyes…eyes…her e-eyes were an astonishing lightning blue rimmed with lengthy lashes.
The mysterious girl's tanned skin glistened with sweat that had soaked parts of her red tank-top, causing the cloth to cling to her torso. Her black cargo pants were tattered and seared at the edges. Skin was swelling and red at the edges of her black leather high-top boots. I was utterly mesmerized.
Mystery girl's fierce eyes locked-on to the top of my head and she lunged. I was so surprised that I could not even muster a "What the fuck?!" Just as abruptly, the girl ceased her attack and ran for the woods, a white cloth trapped in her right hand. I sprinted for her and shouted for her to stop.
Out of the forest stretched a beach that was constantly bathed by the fierce Mediterranean Sea. She dived right into it. The girl swam with the speed of a dolphin off to God-knows-where.
"What the hell?" I muttered exasperated. I leaned against a tree and ran a hand through my half sun bleached hair. "Who was she?" I glanced at the Mediterranean. "And how was she able to swim in that?"
I glanced at myself and sighed. I was covered head to toe in soil and sweat. So much for a first impression. A small smile found my lips and I walked back to the fields.
Elle est très beau.
-
Standing in front of the mirror, I was not satisfied with my appearance. I was headed to the World Conference and the nicest suit I could find was specked with dirt and engine oil. My black shoes were faded and my white dress shirt…well, it wasn't a dress shirt. I just grabbed a long-sleeved shirt from my wardrobe.
My hair wasn't much better either. Dark chocolate at the roots, turning bronze and following the color gradient to a dirty blonde at the ends of the multi-coloured strands. I pinched a lock of my short, curly hair. "For God's sake," I muttered. "Can I not ever retain my natural colour?" I patted my face. "And my cheeks are blotted with so many flipping freckles. I wish the sun didn't make them so monstrous!"
Sighing, sighing, and more sighing- that's all that I could do. Although my economy was fine and there was no war that didn't mean that I could buy any damn thing I wanted. I looked into my dull olive-green eyes and sighed some more. At least I was able to dispel the dried mud and scrub the dead skin off, showing a fresh layer of work-hardened, golden skin.
"Hmph," I chuckled to myself. "Well, if you feel like crap then you look it. Don't let Francis get the best of you Czes."
-
"Oh, welcome Czesvania," Estonia greeted as he opened the door. "We are going to begin discussing air pollution in about a half hour so please help yourself to snacks."
"Thanks Estonia," I reply with a handshake. Promenading into the home I was met by walls constructed of foggy bricks, sharing a type of hydrogen bond; seeming so together and yet also taking the forms of their individual structures. Fiery sunsets lined vases with indents, weaving through one another to project the images of rainbow trout atop tables and swimming through the air. The ceiling was kept afloat by pillars made of the same foggy stone, making arches and touching each other at the high point of three meters.
Estonia's home was a modest allusion of personage.
"Oi, Czesvania!"
"Oh-" I broke from my reverie. Looking over, I see the familiar faces of England and Spain. "Hey!" I grinned, snapping a bullet at the two. "How long have you been here?"
"Hm," England mused, scratching his head. "Not much longer than you have."
"But, you know, it feels like forever, right?" smiled Spain. The three of us laughed and then-
"What's up losers?" Prussia stomped in our direction and put his arm over Spain's broad shoulders. "Nothing! Because you are all sissy little loser things! But do not worry, the great and awesome Me has decided to bless you with my AWESOME presence! Pepepepepepepe~!"
Ugh. Prussia. And. His. Damn. Cackle.
"Come now, I will let you praise the greatness that is me! I'm a frickin' enigma to your puny brains-"
"Damn, I'll say so you bloody German! Why don't you just go and wank off somewhere else!" England scolded.
"Oh non, non, non~. We simply cannot have that." France appeared on the other side of Spain.
"Frog," I muttered.
"Oh ho ho, you have no room to speak dear Czes. You look like you bought some hand-me-down clothing from Good Will and rolled in the dirt with them," he smiled at me and then extended his hands, shaking his head. "There is no way you will ever woo a lady like that. You do not look even fit enough to shine a pauper's shoes."
The sound of Prussia's laugh sounded in the background of my humiliation.
"Shut up you slimy toad!" England placed his hands on his hips and his face held the expression of disapproval. "No one cares what you have to say so if you have nothing to do with us then get the bloody hell away from here!"
France closed eyes and raised his eyebrows. "No matter, we have come to just talk to Spain here. Oh, and brother? You missed some of the dirt on your face." He turned and began walking away with Spain and Prussia. "I will talk with you two later: Czes, Black Sheep of Europe."
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!" England and I yelled at the same time.
The trio frolicked off as England and I stood there thoroughly angered.
"That brother of yours is a pile of pudge slime, is what he is," England said to me.
"Not even-" I began muttering, when I heard a familiar voice: the voice that had commenced combat in my skies.
"You should have seen it, Finland! We were totally fighting over some deserted island and I blasted her out of the sky!" Sealand began running in circles, pretending he was a fighter jet. "Now that I've defeated Dretopia, the bigger countries will have to-"
"Deserted island?" I smiled at Sealand, gripping him by his white and blue navy shirt. "I don't think so." Sealand's feet were inches off of the ground. "My country is very populated and you frightened quite a few civilians. And you ruined quite a few of my crops."
My negative energy was pretty high, especially since I had already been pissed right before I heard this kid's fucking voice. A hand was laid on my shoulder and I glanced at the owner of the meat claw. Sweden stared into my eyes with a serious look. I stared with equal viscosity into his icy blue eyes. We came to a silent understanding that even I was a bit curious about and I let Sealand free.
I smiled at the runt. "If you fight over my land again neither of us are going to be very happy."
"Y-yes suh!" Sealand squealed with frightened tears in his eyes. He hid behind Finland who appeared thoroughly confused. "What just happened?" he asked.
I gave him a grin and replied, "Sorry for the commotion. I won't bother you again." I then left.
"What was that about?" England followed.
I replied, "A few weeks ago there were two countries rumbling in the air space above some of my farms and let me tell you, they took out a few good crops. One crashed and ran off."
"To where? The ocean?" England laughed.
"Yeah."
"Wait a second. What?"
"She jumped into the ocean and swam off," I replied.
"You aren't pulling my leg are you?"
"Nope. She just ran to the Mediterranean and jumped in."
"Well…that is a tad more than strange," England mused. "Hm… according to Sealand her name was Dretopia."
"Yeah," I responded. "It's a strange name though. Who would name their country Dr-"
Hic-Boom!-Oh!
"Ow, fuck that hurts!" I exclaimed. What the hell is up with this crappy ass day?!
"Ouchouchouchouchouch~!" A girl's voice resounded. Wait. I knew this voice. Next to me is a lady wearing a black suit and red undershirt with a white cloth wrapped under her folded collar. Her hair was a mane of chocolate hair, kept from her face by two braids of brown at her hair line.
"Oh shit that hurts!" she exclaimed, then she saw me, "Ah crap! Are you alright?"
Her electric eyes held mine. "Um, Dretopia?"
Dretopia's back lined erect and she stood up. "How do you know my name?"
I stood up also. "You sort of got your ass handed to by Sealand a few weeks ago and landed on my back."
"What?!" Another girl but with long, plain, brown hair. "When did you fight Sealand Dretopia?!"
"It was a while ago Utopia! Nothing to worry about!" Dretopia hastily replied.
Utopia began fussing around Dretopia, patting and poking her here and there. "Are you hurt at all? He said you lost! What were you fighting with?"
Before Dretopia could open her mouth I replied for her, "Fighter jets. Someone's was falling apart during the battle too."
Utopia gasped and shot more unnecessary questions at the chocolate grizzly. Dretopia shot me a look of pure hatred. "Sis, I'm alright. It was weeks ago and I got cuts and bruises from the whole thing. No big problems, see?" She positioned herself like she was about to do jumping jacks.
Utopia paused and looked her sister in the eyes. "Are you sure? I don't need to take you to Switzerland to help with any injuries."
But Switzerland wouldn't help since he's always neutral in arguments between nations.
"Yeah, I'm fine Utopia." She smiled. "Why don't you go and hang out with Liechtenstein? It seems like she's a bit lonely."
Utopia glances at me and her expression hardens. She nods. "Alright. I'll be with her when you want to find me." Utopia skipped toward the dining hall and disappeared.
Dretopia spun in my direction and flung her hands onto her hips. "Why the hell do you talk so much?! I had Utopia under control and you had to tell her the fucking details! And why the hell do you know so much about what had happened anyways? Are you after Utopia?"
What the fuck just happened? "Um, no. I had never even heard of Utopia before just now," I replied with my hands raised in front of me.
"Then how do you know me?" Dretopia's eyes narrowed like she was accusing me of something. To this day, I have always hated it when people accused me of things.
"Sorry Grizzly, but I think you're the one who was toughing it out with the King of Runts over my farm land and fell on me," I snapped.
Dretopia's mouth hung open and her face grew red as one of Spain's famous tomatoes. "Grizzly- you called me a FUCKIN' GRIZZLY!" She raised her fist and then stopped. "Oh yeah!" She studied my face through narrowed eyes. "You're the dirt monkey that chased me through the forest.
I raised an eyebrow and frowned. "Dirt monkey?"
"Yeah!" she exclaimed. "You fuckin' chased me out to the ocean with that dirty ass face of yours!"
"I was trying to figure out who destroyed my damn crops!"
"Well, they can't be that good if they're damned!" the angry bear retorted.
"Woah! Um, could we not fight? At least not until the conference begins?" Estonia interjected, his face wearing a timid and worried expression. "I'd like keep things a bit more mellow until then."
"Yeah, of course," Dretopia replied with a calmer expression. "Sorry about that." She turned around and stomped off.
"Sorry Estonia," I said. I brushed off the shoulder of my speckled jacket. I began walking off, leaving a confused Estonia and stunned England behind. Ugh, that Dretopia is just so damn annoying!
Elle est très laide!