The Replacement
Summary: Will's spending time with the substitute, Holly Holliday and Emma doesn't like it. Not one bit.
Vacation's over.
The hallways are crowded with downtrodden students and teachers making their way to homeroom. They're dazed, going through the motions of their morning routine, eager to hear the bell signaling the end of the day.
The first day back is usually a slow day for you, but for the first time since you started working, you're more than happy to see a vacation week come to an end. You'd like to say that you had a good break, but you can't. The week off started with Carl's Christmas party, the one you inanely invited Will to. You cringe at the memory of your awkward invitation, but despite the look of utter discomfort on Will's face, you wish he had agreed to come. Maybe then you would have enjoyed yourself. The stuffy party set the tone for the rest of the week. By the time New Year's Eve rolled around, you were kind of sick of your husband. He had taken some time off to spend with you, and by week's end you were feeling smothered and were more than ready to get back to work.
Until you saw her.
The substitute.
You'd heard that Mr. Byrnes the European History teacher had gotten stuck visiting family in Connecticut. A blizzard had him stranded in the Nutmeg state, unable to return to school in time to resume his classes.
Holly is in the office when you see her. She's checking Mr. Byrnes mailbox in the main office before first period when you almost bump into her. She smiles politely and excuses herself. You go about your business, checking your own mailbox, exchanging pleasantries with the secretaries before heading back to your own office. You start to make your way down the hall when the sight of the tall blond talking to Will stops you in your tracks.
They're laughing and standing close together. Too close for casual acquaintances. And too close for your liking. You squelch the flicker of emotion in your gut; an emotion that you don't dare give a name to, and continue on your way. You glance over at Will as you pass by, hoping to say a quick hello, but he's so entranced by Holly, so deep in conversation, that you pass by unnoticed. And it stings.
By lunchtime you'd all but forgotten about the incident with Will in the hallway. You're eager to get to the lunchroom to finally see Will and talk to him. It'll be the first time you have an opportunity to speak to him since the glee kids sang to the faculty before the holiday. There's a bounce to your step as you make your way into the teacher's lounge but the sight before you has you stopping in your tracks for the second time that day. Shannon, Will and Holly Holliday are comfortably spread out at a table in the center of the room. At the table you used to sit at everyday with Will, back when the conversation flowed easily between the two of you. You regard the trio intently for a moment and consider your options. You could ask Holly to move her things off the empty chair so that you can join them, or you can turn tail and run. You're engaged in a silent debate with yourself when Will notices you. He tosses a casual "oh, hi Emma" your way and turns back to his conversation without missing a beat. Stung, you decide option B is the way to go and turn on the heel of your favorite Mary Janes and flee for the sanctuary that is your office.
As you sit at your desk picking at your lunch, alone and isolated, you try to determine what hurts more….Will's casual dismissal of your presence, the sight of the blonde at your lunch table or the absence of your nickname when Will addressed you.
Two days have passed and you haven't seen Holly Holliday, or Will. He seems to be avoiding you again. When you ventured back to the lunch room on Tuesday he was conspicuously absent, so you sat alone at your table pretending to be oblivious to the eyes boring holes in your back and the whispers bouncing of the glass walls of the room.
Tuesday morning she's back. You spot her long blonde hair weaving effortlessly through the crowded hallway. She's talking a mile a minute….to Will. You feel a pang of emotion in your chest, the one you refuse to give a name to, as you observe their carefree conversation. The smile on Will's face intensifies the feeling in your chest. For the first time in months, you notice, the smile on Will's face reaches his eyes; he is genuinely happy. Your heart skips a beat when you realize that Will is looking a Holly the way he used to look at you. The realization steals your breath from your chest and with tears in your eyes you duck your head and continue through the hallway to the front entrance of the building. Suddenly you need some air.
By Friday afternoon you realize that you haven't spoken to Will all week. Every time you catch a glimpse of him, which hasn't been all that often because you are certain he is actively avoiding you, he's with Holly. It's like they are joined at the hip and that bothers you more than it should. You're walking to your car after school, ready to start the weekend, when you see her pull into the parking lot. She wasn't subbing in the building today, which explains why you didn't see her. You're mulling over ways to accidently run into Will when you notice him come sprinting from the building. He slides into the passenger seat of Holly's car and pecks her on the cheek. You know you should be happy for your friend, happy that he has moved on, but you're not.
You're jealous.
You're jealous because he's moved on and now there is no room for you in his life. You get into your car, slam the door shut and jam the key into the ignition. You're in a bad mood now and even though you technically moved on first, you're mad at Will. And you're heading home to take your bad mood out on your husband….whether he deserves it or not.
Monday, Will asks you if he can join you at lunch. You're so surprised by his question that you can only nod in reply. He sits and awkwardly asks you how you are. You answer as best as you can without actually mentioning Carl's name. You don't want to ruin the moment by bringing up your husband. The two of you make small talk for a few minutes before you are interrupted by a whirlwind carrying take out. It's Holly, and she's brought lunch for Will. She slides into the seat next to him and begins taking out containers of Chinese food. As they start talking and opening containers of lo mien and sesame chicken you are all but forgotten. After several minutes of awkward silence, mostly on your part, Holly reaches over and extends her hand.
After she introduces herself she offers you an eggroll. You surprise both Will and yourself when you accept. You take a tentative bite and listen as they begin an animated conversation about the best options for a group number for Regionals. You might as well be invisible, you muse and you package up what's left of your lunch and bid the duo farewell. They barely register your departure and that leaves you feeling miserable.
Thursday Holly is subbing for Mrs. Hoffmeyer. You briefly consider warning her that the science teacher doesn't wash her hands after doing number two, but you decide against it. If Holly were to get sick from the bacteria growing on the science teacher's keyboard, she'd be unavailable to substitute and she'd be out of your school….and away from Will. You know you should feel bad for having such mean thoughts, but you don't. You want her to leave, for things to go back to the way they were before.
Wednesday Holly is in the lunchroom alone. You make your way to an empty table but she stops you and invites you to join her. Feeling trapped, you agree and settle into the empty chair across from her. She makes small talk, mentions the weather and something funny that happened in her second period class. You do your best to stay in the conversation; she's charming, funny even and you can't help but see why Will might be interested in her. But you can't like her; you won't let yourself like her. Not when she's trying to replace you. You know that you are being totally irrational, but you don't care. You can't help how you feel. As far as you're concerned, she's stolen your best friend.
You've lost track of the conversation and Holly's looking at you expectantly, waiting for your response. You apologize for your inattentiveness and she smiles. She's still talking though, mentions that she's glad that you and Will are talking again, that Will listened to her and approached you. That pisses you off, something that happens a lot when Holly is around. You're still trying to work through the idea that the uncomfortable lunch hour you spent with Will on Monday was orchestrated by Holly, when she pulls you from your thoughts with an invitation to glee rehearsal. She wants to know if you want to hear the songs the kids are working on for Regionals. It bothers you to know that she's gotten so close to the kids that she considers herself part of the team. But it really irritates you when she tells you that she's their number one fan. Her words feel like a sucker punch, right to your gut. That used to be you, before you chose Carl over Will….and the glee kids.
After dismissal you make your way to the auditorium to sneak a peek at rehearsal. You'd told yourself that you shouldn't go, that it's more important to go home and get dinner started. Carl likes dinner on the table at 6 and he wouldn't be pleased to know that his dinner was late because you decided to stick around for glee rehearsal.
But here you are, against your better judgment, leaning against the doorjamb watching as both Will and Holly dance around on the stage with the kids. Will's demonstrating a dance move and the rest of the group is laughing. They're having fun, all of them. She fits with them, you muse, and in ways you never did and never would. You're about to leave when Finn notices you. He yells out a greeting and the rest of the group stops what they're doing to acknowledge your presence. You wave, suddenly self-conscious and tell them that Holly invited you. The kids smile, they're happy to see you and they're eager to show off for an audience. Will, however, looks wounded as if hearing the kids call you Mrs. H is causing him physical pain. If you're honest with yourself, the look on his face brings back the unsettling feeling in your chest. The one that makes your heart hurt.
Holly looks from Will to you and then jumps from the stage and makes her way over to you. She gestures to the second row of seats and tells you that she'll watch too. The two of you take your seats as Will looks on. You're staring at him trying to read the expression on his face when the music starts and he turns his attention to the twelve students on the stage. The tune is familiar, you've heard it before but you can't place it. As Finn begins to sing, you recognize the lyrics….Breakeven by The Script. It's a sad song and judging by the expression on Will's face it's affecting him the same way it's affecting you. Just before the song ends Holly leans into your personal space, making you just a bit uncomfortable. He loves you, she whispers, just loud enough for you to hear. You're startled but she doesn't notice and she continues talking as the kids on the stage sing their hearts out.
As she continues to talk you realize that she knows things. She knows things about Will that you don't know. She knows about Shelby (big mistake) and April (a lie fabricated by Sue). But most of all she knows about you. She knows that you believed the worst of Will when you took Sue at her word a year ago, that you never gave Will the opportunity to tell you the truth. She knows that you rejected him when he gave you his heart and that you broke that heart over and over again each time you mentioned Carl and that you ultimately destroyed him when you flashed a diamond ring in his face. She tells you again that Will still loves you, that even though she thinks you don't deserve it, you have his heart.
You don't know what to say. You look at the stage where Will and the kids are working through a difficult part of the song, oblivious to the conversation in the second row. She thinks he deserves better and you can't help but nod in agreement. She's telling you how wonderful he is, how smart and funny he is. She doesn't need to say anything though because you know just how amazing Will Schuester really is; that's why you fell in love with him in the first place. A calmness rushes over you. It's the first time you've admitted to yourself how you feel about Will. Despite the situation, it feels good to finally be honest with yourself, to acknowledge your feelings.
You love him too, she says startling you. You're wondering how she knows, if you inadvertently verbalized the feeling you only just realized. Eyes wide you try to dismiss her, but she tells you that it's written all over your face. You want to try and deny it, but you can't find your voice. She tells you that she's noticed all of the dirty looks you've cast her way over the past two weeks. You look down at your lap, ashamed to be called out for your bad behavior.
She doesn't blame you though, relationships are hard and seeing your ex move on without you can be hard to watch. She confides in you then, telling you that she panicked when her ex-boyfriend proposed. After they broke up he ended up eloping with the next woman he dated. She tells you that she's hoping to be able to move on….with Will. She says that if you would let go of him, maybe he'd be able to move on with her.
Holly stands then, she's said what she needed to say, and makes her way back to the stage. You stand too, you really want to get out of there but the kids have other plans. They want to hear what you thought about their performance. You smile broadly and tell them that they were wonderful, that you are sure they'll win Regionals for sure this year. You give Will a small smile and bid the group good-bye.
You don't see much of Will over the next few weeks and you don't see Holly at all. You've done a lot of thinking since your last conversation with the blonde. You'd gone home after glee rehearsal to find your husband waiting for you. You had an argument about dinner and ended up unburdening yourself on him, revealing all of the feelings you've kept bottled up. You were truly honest with him for the first time in your relationship, and he wasn't surprised when you admitted that you were in love with Will. In fact, he knew it all along. When you placed your wedding ring in his palm he didn't protest, he just nodded and told you he'd contact a lawyer.
When Will asks if he can join you in the lunchroom on a Tuesday you smile broadly and gesture for him to sit down in one of the empty chairs. The two of you look at each other nervously before you go for broke and ask about Holly. He shakes his head and tells you that she's moved on….to New York. She never really stayed in one place for long and Lima wasn't really where she wanted to be. He tells you that she asked him to go with her, to move away and start over. Your stomach plummets, what if he's leaving. What if he's heading to New York at the end of the year?
You start to ask him just that, but he interrupts you. With a shy smile he tells you that Lima is exactly where he wants to be, that the people he loves are here. You smile and place your left hand over his right. He looks down at your bare ring finger and his eyes widen in surprise. The people you love are in Lima too, you tell him echoing his early sentiment. He tilts his head, silently asking you to continue. You tell him Carl's gone, that you're no longer married. Carl's headed to New York too; he's going after the girl that got away.
You squeeze Will's fingers before bringing your hand back to rest in your lap. Smiling brightly at him you ask if he needs a chaperone for Regionals. He nods in affirmation and you tell him that you would love to go with him and the kids to see them perform. He smiles at you, the smile that never fails to make your heart flutter and opens his lunch bag. When he offers you half of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich (no crusts!), you realize that everything is going to work out. You and Will are going to be fine.