Most of you are probably wondering "What the hell is she doing with a new story?" Well sorry but i wanted to try a hand at a Crack-fic. So here it is. I promise to update the other stories soon. Also please tell me what my new readers and old readers think of this. This basically takes place right at the beginning of Shippuden slightly before our dear love-able Kazekage gets kidnapped. So this story is kinda AU cause none of the events in Shippuden will ever happen.

Basically what happens is the first five chapters is happening at the same time but in five different villages. The main heroes are Deidara, Naruto, Sasuke, Gaara and Killer B. Basically all of them are gonna try a hand at politics.

I do not own Naruto.

When Leaders go on Vacation.

#1: To be a leader: Deidara

Deidara walked down the Akatsuchi lair. At the moment he had absolutely nothing to do. Everyone else was in their own rooms busy doing their own things. Deidara could very well go and bug his Danna. But where was the fun in that? Besides he did that yesterday.

Oh! He could swap Itachi's eye drops with concentrated perfume. Then he'd really go blind. Serves the bastard right, plus Deidara could have a good laugh about it. And if he got caught he could blame Hidan, or even better, he could blame Tobi.

Congratulating himself on such a genius plan the blond bomber set out to do just that. He was about to cross the hall way to go to Itachi's room when he heard strange voices.

"Oh! Oh! Ah! Ah!"

What the hell! Deidara thought. That sounded like Konan. It wasn't that hard to figure out who was making those sounds …they were coming from Konan's room after all.

"Pein-sama….ohhhhhhhhh!" Konan's voice sounded tired yet extremely seductive. Deidara could feel the blood trickling down his nose.

"You want me Konan?" Another tired yet equally seductive voice came.

"Yes! Yes! Pump! Pump! Faster! Faster!"

Deidara could feel the color rise in his cheeks. His nose bleed got ten times worse. He began to feel very light headed. His legs buckled beneath him. And the last thing he thought before he blacked out was: Leader-sama is not a pimp, who knew?

"She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes –hic. She'll be a Jashinist when she comes –hic. She'll be a Jashinist, She'll be a Jashinist, She'll be a Jashinist WHEN SHEEEE COMES –hic." Guess which drunk was singing (read screaming) at the top of his lungs.

The zealot stumbled into the hall way, all the while singing that stupid song. He was crossing Konan's room when suddenly his foot got caught in something and Hidan felt himself falling on ….a body?

"Mother Fucker!" he swore loudly when he saw an unconscious Deidara underneath him. "Oh hi! Blondie Barbie Bitch! What the hell are you doing here -hic."

"Hidan what is going on here?" Konan asked (demanded) as she opened her door slightly and peaked out.

"Oh Hay! Hawwwtie, wanna do me?" Hidan drawled while trying to get off the ground. For some reason he found that he was stuck to it.

Konan just stared at him. Was it really the alcohol or was he naturally this stupid? Not that interested in finding out the out she 'demanded', "Just take Deidara to his room." Before she slammed to door shut on his face.

"Mother Fucker!" Hidan swore once again. The least she could do was help him stand up.

Nobody loves me! He thought. Poor Hidan didn't know how accurate that statement was.

Deidara once again wondered down the hall way. Although this time not completely board. After all he was still trying to get the images Pein and Konan doing the deed out of his mind. Trying his best not to think about it he decided to carry on with his previous mission: Pop goes the weasel, as he had recently dubbed it.

Crossing Konan's room once again he noticed that the door was wide open. Curiously he peaked in and spotted his second-in-command sitting at the edge of her bed. Her face was covered by her hands and she appeared to be sobbing.

Was the sex really that bad? He thought.

Sensing someone in the room Konan immediately wiped her tears and looked up. Deidara winced when he saw a line of green snot running down her nose.

"What can I do for you Deidara?" She asked in a strained voice.

"You can get rid of that snot river!" Was what Deidara wanted to so badly say but instead he said, "What's wrong Konan un?"

"Oh Deidara!" She sobbed than got up and hugged him. The blond immediately stiffened. She was rubbing her snotty face on his clean white shirt.

Then while hugging him she threw up over his shoulder (A/N: They are both the same height). Letting go of him she sobbed even more, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Um! It's ok…" he muttered. However it was not 'ok'. The poor sucker could feel the wetness right from his shoulder right to the bottom of his pants. "But seriously Konan your acting so weird un!"

"I'm sorry!" She said again finally calming down, "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Yeah sure you can tell me anything un." He said trying his best to ignore the wetness and the smell that came along with it.

"I'm pregnant." She abruptly blurred out.

Wait what! That caught him off guard completely. Feeling utterly confused and awakward Deidara said the first thing that came to his mind, "Ah…..errr… umm….really?"

Clever Deidara! Really clever! He thought sarcastically.

"Yes but that's not the worst part," She continued, "Pein wants to take me to an isolated resort for the whole duration of my pregnancy."

"But that's a whole nine months! un!" Deidara exclaimed.

"I know."

"But who's going to lead Ame and the Akatsuki till then?"

"Yes that's why I feel so miserable. I really want to go there and spend time with him but he's unwilling to go. Unless and until he finds someone who could be Amekage temporarily that is."

"That's really too bad un." Deidara muttered. Oh well not his problem.

"Oh I know!" Konan suddenly exclaimed. Than jumping up she grabbed the blond by the forearm and proceeded to drag him out of the room, down the hall, up the stairs until they reached Pein's office. Luckily they didn't come across anyone on their way there except Itachi. But semi-blind people didn't count.

*KNOCK*KNOCK*

"Who is it?" A voice came from inside.

"Pein open up its me Konan!"

"Oh the door is open come in." Not needing to be told twice, while still keeping a tight grip on Deidara's arm she pushed open the door and barged in. Pein looked up at the pair. He could smell something really nasty coming from Deidara and noticed that he was covered in …Something.

"Deidara what the hell are you covered in? And Konan what did he do this time?" He asked glancing between the two.

Whenever something happens why does everyone automatically assume that it's my fault? He was about to voice out his thoughts when Konan said:

"Pein great news I found you a substitute." Konan exclaimed. Deidara was dreading where this conversation was going.

"Oh really! Who?" Pein asked as eagerly as his partner.

"Him!" Konan pointed to Deidara.

"Him!" Pein repeated pointing to Deidara.

"Me!" Deidara exclaimed pointing to himself.

"But why?" Both men asked at the same time. Then turned and stared at each other awkwardly.

"Pein do you trust me?" Konan asked.

"Yes!" Pein answered without hesitation.

"Then trust my decision."

"All right Konan I trust your decision. Deidara today is your lucky day…. Starting next week your Amekage for nine months!"

"Yes finally!" Konan exclaimed, "I'll go get the papers, make the announcements and finalize the documents."

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold on a second UN, don't I get a say in this?" Deidara exclaimed waving his hands in the air.

"Why don't you want to become Amekage?" Pein asked. What kind of idiot would turn down such a position?

"No it's not like that….." The blond trailed off.

"Than what is it?" Konan asked, "Don't you want to be….. Powerful….."

"…..Powerful….." Deidara repeated dreamily.

"….Rich…."

"….Rich…"

"…..With everyone's fate in the palm of your hands…."

"…..In the palm of my hands….."

*DEIDARA'S*DAYDREAM*

"Deidara! Deidara! Deidara! Deidara!" The crowd chanted as the blond stepped on to the stage. A statue of him made of pure gold stood behind him. Everyone literally worshiped him. Men held posters that said "All Hail King Deidara" while women held posters that said "Let Me Bare Your Babies" while children had posters that said "Art Is A Bang".

"Silence!" Deidara said with authority, and the whole auditorium went silent, "As the King I do hereby pass on my first few policies…..All optications are exiled from this country…."

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Itachi screamed, now he had to travel all the way to Konoha for an eye treatment.

"….It is compulsory to eat seafood for at least one meal a day…."

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Kisame screamed, "Not my people!"

"…Weed Kill is now free on the market…"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" White Zetsu screamed.

"That Bastard!" Black Zetsu cursed.

"YES!" Kakuzu rejoiced, at least he gets to keep his money…. Deidara smirked.

"…..And last but not the least, Kakuzu must be charged double the amount on everything even on items that are supposed to be free…"

Kakuzu screamed than fell to the ground, probably having a heart attack. But who cares?

"HAHAHAHAHAHA" Deidara burst out laughing.

*END*OF*DAYDREAM*

"HAHAHAHAHAHA" Deidara suddenly burst out laughing. To Pein and Konan he just looked like a chocking monkey high on crack (no offence to the monkeys).

"So Deidara will you accept my offer?" Pein asked.

"HELL YES UN!"

So this how Deidara becomes Amekage. Next Chapter: How Naruto becomes temporary Hokage. Please review and tell me weather i should continue this.