Obsession
If love was really as pure as they told him it was, how could someone as unworthy as Severus Snape ever possibly begin to understand it? Drabblish one-shot. Takes place after Snape's worst memory. One sided Snape/Lily.
A/N: Just my small contribution to the HP fandom after DH and its revelations.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
As he watched her walk away, he knew it was the last time. The last time she'd visit him, the last time she'd speak to him out of anything other than sheer politeness, the last time her eyes would hold any form of affection for him.
He'd made the worst mistake of his life.
Severus Snape was not a fool. He could see a strand of reasoning in blaming Potter for what he had said but knew quite well that Lily would not stand for it, somewhere deep inside he both admired and loathed her for this reason. She was bold, she was beautiful - like an untamed flower rising from the wilderness. He, on the other hand, was simply a weed that wished to entangle her.
He knew he'd lost her.
If really love did truly exist, he knew that this was it. He had known that this was it. He had loved her since the day he had first hidden behind a thorn bush and seen her perform what he knew was magic. He had admired her childish exuberance, her passion, her unmovable love for every little thing - her desire to see the good in everything and everyone.
Lily Evans had put her trust in Snape and he had ruined everything he'd ever sought so hard to gain. He'd lost her. He'd lost her friendship, her laugh, her smile and the faintest thread of possibility that she might one day choose to love him back.
Snape thought this hurt the most.
The painful embarassment of the day before had evaporated. He'd, for the time being, forgotten of Potter and Black. His one comfort had been Lily. What was he without her? He wouldn't remember the day because it had been the day he'd been ridiculed so badly by his peers... he would forever remember the day as the day he had crossed the line and had in return lost someone so perfect that he would cry many times over for his mistake.
That's what Lily Evans was. Perfect. That Potter boy saw it too, and Snape felt a pain in his chest at the realisation she would probably fall in love with him now. Lily and James. It had a horrible sort of ring to it.
Snape was sorry. He'd spend the rest of his life apologising for it if he had to.
Lily Evans was that aura of wonder that Severus thought, not for the first time, he had no right to.