Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, I'm just using them to hopefully to entertain and to use up some of my free time.
A/N: Takes place about a week or two after the end of the movie. Please R+R, I need the reviews more than I need anything else and I need to know that my weekend if being put to good use :)
"Andie Anderson: How to Girl
How to Keep the Right Guy"
by SparkingDiamond
It had been two weeks since anyone had called me, "Andie Anderson: How To Girl" and I was getting used to no longer having those three words attached to my name. It was strange, going though all the old articles I had written, which my friends had so dutifully framed for me. "How to be Smart *and* Sexy" or "How to Catch that Guy at Work" jumped out at me as I placed them into the cardboard box that Ben had given to me. This time tomorrow, I'd be sharing an apartment with him, the man I'd almost lost two weeks ago for the sake of being a "How to Girl", writing about shoes and yoga.
Now where was I, though? Andie Anderson, unemployed. But only for a short time, hopefully, I didn't graduate with a Masters in Journalism to be unemployed with nothing to show for myself other than a few framed "How to" articles.
With a sigh, I set the last article, this one unframed, into the box, glancing at it before shutting the top. "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," it read and I felt myself cringe inwardly. The article that had nearly lost me my 'true love' or at least, I believed to be for the time being. Who knew, ten days from now with a couple of beers and "You're So Vain" playing on the radio, I might swear that he was the worst guy I've ever met.
Andie Anderson's tips on how to lose a guy, what a headline. What had I been thinking, doing those things to poor Benny-Boo-Bear. I smiled at the thought of him cringing when I brought 'Craw the Warrior King' to visit him at work, or when I ruined his Boys' Night with my 'temporary insanity.' If Ben hadn't been using me to win a bet, he would have been long-gone before the half-way mark had approached. But I couldn't help but wonder if there was something other than the bet keeping him around; I know that I felt a twinge of regret while standing in the elevator after crashing the Poker Night.
Things had worked out okay, at least for now, and I'm glad they did; despite my mission to ruin things with Ben, I think I found the prefect guy.
A smile spread across my face as an idea dawned upon me; I was the How to Girl, why not write one final article. It might never see the light of day, but that was no reason not to write; I was used to writing articles that would never be read by anyone.
Abandoning the box, I walked across the now empty apartment, filled only with cardboard boxes marked with various slogans like 'Andie's Sheets' and 'Andie's Nice Dresses.' I picked up a worn notebook, one that I had used when I first started working at the magazine, but I had long since deserted when I started using a laptop.
"Andie Anderson: How to Keep a Guy" I wrote as neatly as I could, knowing that my legible handwriting had suffered since I had begun relying only on printed words.
Underneath the headline, I wrote 'Number One: Don't become too clingy'; I paused, tapping my pen against my lips as I thought. Being a clingy girlfriend was one of the things I had listed as what to do to lose a guy, so it made since to reverse it; but I didn't want to reverse everything I had written before, that wasn't real journalism. That was the easy way out. And Andie Anderson never took the easy way out.
What had I learned, really, while dating Ben? How to have fun and let go, how to be goofy but comfortable at the same time. I learned that a guy can put up with a lot more than expected and that they had material instincts, at least when it came to dogs.
"Number Two: Play hard to get, but not hard to love." Hmm, what gentle readers, does that mean exactly? Well, in my realm of twisted knowledge, it could only mean one thing: you don't have to sleep with him one the first night to make sure that he'll fall in love you with. If anything, you should prolong sleeping together, because what's the point of having sex if you don't even know the guy. 'Smart thinking Anderson', I thought with a smile, wondering how many girls would agree with what I had to say and knowing how many guys would curse the fact that I had ever been born.
But it didn't matter anyway, no one was going to be reading this, except maybe my girlfriends; there was no way that this 'advice column' would ever be read by the economic public. I faltered for a second, wondering if there was any point in me wasting my time writing a list of rules when I still had clothes and shoes to pack.
However, I found myself unable to drop my pen and abandon my paper, so I continued to write. "Number Three: Do what he likes too, not just what you want to do." Well, that one was pretty simple and straight ford, everyone said that; you had to give a little and get a little right? Even "Seventeen" magazine said that, didn't they teach that fact at grade school? Anyway, that was simple enough and lucky for me, Ben and I both liked Nicks basketball, so I already knew that we weren't going to be fighting over the television on game night.
"Number Four-" I paused, dropping my pen against the legal paper when the phone rang, reminding me that I still had my electrical appliances to pack up. You could always use an extra phone in your apartment, so I had been planning on bringing my phone despite the fact that Ben's apartment came equipped.
I stood up, pushing my chair behind me as I padded over to where the phone was, sighing as it picked it up off all the cradle. "Hello?" I answered, realizing for the first time all night that exhaustion was beginning to set in and I still had a mountain of tasks in front of me.
"Hey Andie." Greeted the caller, his voice making me smile even before he finished speaking. Ben seemed to be breaking one of the rules that girls had set in stone, not to call too much; not that Ben was racking up phone charges but it was hard to go through the day without getting a call from. And vice versa.
"Hi Benny-Boo-Bear." I giggled, picturing him rolling his eyes as I greeted him. "What's up?"
"Oh nothing, I just wanted to know if you needed any help packing, 'cause I'm in the neighborhood." He offered, causing me to smile yet again, touched by his words. I was certain that coming over to help me pack wasn't the only thing Ben wanted to do, but I wouldn't argue. Besides, I needed help if I wanted to pack everything away.
"Okay, sure, I'll see you in a few." I hung up after bidding him goodbye, traces of a smile still spread across my face. I walked by across the room, slipping back into my seat, pen poised and ready to right down rule number four when I was startled by a knock on my apartment door.
When Ben had said he was in the neighborhood, I didn't know he meant that he was really *in* the neighborhood; oh well, a shining example of meaning what you say and saying what you mean. I stood up again, making it over to the door just as Ben knocked again, which was something he often did. The ever impatient male.
I opened the door and there was Ben, all smiles, with our adopted child, the non-appealing Chinese terrier which I had named Craw in another attempt to drive Ben away. "Hey, Craw and I came to help you out." Ben greeted, leaning toward me and giving me a kiss to add to his greeting, which I happily returned. Craw whined, causing Ben to pull away and glare at the dog, which he seemed to insist on taking everywhere with him, probably just to keep him from ravaging his apartment.
I stood aside to let him enter, which he did, shutting the door behind him; he looked around, noting all the boxes but keeping silent, knowing that there was still much that needed to be packed. I had told him so earlier on the phone, which had probably prompted the impromptu visit.
I turned to Ben, smiling at him. "I'll go and get some more boxes." I told him, walking into my bedroom (soon to be someone else's bedroom) and retrieved the empty boxes which I had stacked up neatly on my bed.
When I returned, I noticed that Craw was running around, most likely looking for somewhere to relieve himself. I also noticed that Ben was standing by the table where I had been seated only minutes earlier, eyes scanning the words that I had written down in my discarded notebook.
He turned around when he sensed that I had returned, holding the notebook in front of him as though it would shield him from a potential wrath. I guess Crazy Andie had really left a mark on his dating future. "What's this, another article for that chick magazine?" He asked, shaking the notebook.
I shrugged, unsure of what to say, other than the fact that it wasn't another article, especially not for the so-called 'chick magazine' since I had quit two weeks ago. "Well, no, not exactly, just a little something I was writing to pass the time." I told him, setting the boxes down (startling Craw in doing so) and walking over to where Ben stood.
"Oh yeah?" Ben said, smiling at me as he set down the notebook, wrapping his arms around my waist. "You didn't finish, what's rule number four?" He smiled coyly and I knew that there was indeed something on his mind other than packing.
I shrugged again, I hadn't really decided what Rule Number Four was going to be. "I don't know," I told him, struck by a sudden train of thought. In an attempt to be romantic I added, "Rule Four is fall in love with a sweet, cute, selfless, funny, kind man named Benny-Boo-Bear."
Ben smiled, shaking his head. "That's it? That's your rule?" He asked, incredulously. He was all smiles as he said, "No wonder they fired you."
A/N: Takes place about a week or two after the end of the movie. Please R+R, I need the reviews more than I need anything else and I need to know that my weekend if being put to good use :)
"Andie Anderson: How to Girl
How to Keep the Right Guy"
by SparkingDiamond
It had been two weeks since anyone had called me, "Andie Anderson: How To Girl" and I was getting used to no longer having those three words attached to my name. It was strange, going though all the old articles I had written, which my friends had so dutifully framed for me. "How to be Smart *and* Sexy" or "How to Catch that Guy at Work" jumped out at me as I placed them into the cardboard box that Ben had given to me. This time tomorrow, I'd be sharing an apartment with him, the man I'd almost lost two weeks ago for the sake of being a "How to Girl", writing about shoes and yoga.
Now where was I, though? Andie Anderson, unemployed. But only for a short time, hopefully, I didn't graduate with a Masters in Journalism to be unemployed with nothing to show for myself other than a few framed "How to" articles.
With a sigh, I set the last article, this one unframed, into the box, glancing at it before shutting the top. "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," it read and I felt myself cringe inwardly. The article that had nearly lost me my 'true love' or at least, I believed to be for the time being. Who knew, ten days from now with a couple of beers and "You're So Vain" playing on the radio, I might swear that he was the worst guy I've ever met.
Andie Anderson's tips on how to lose a guy, what a headline. What had I been thinking, doing those things to poor Benny-Boo-Bear. I smiled at the thought of him cringing when I brought 'Craw the Warrior King' to visit him at work, or when I ruined his Boys' Night with my 'temporary insanity.' If Ben hadn't been using me to win a bet, he would have been long-gone before the half-way mark had approached. But I couldn't help but wonder if there was something other than the bet keeping him around; I know that I felt a twinge of regret while standing in the elevator after crashing the Poker Night.
Things had worked out okay, at least for now, and I'm glad they did; despite my mission to ruin things with Ben, I think I found the prefect guy.
A smile spread across my face as an idea dawned upon me; I was the How to Girl, why not write one final article. It might never see the light of day, but that was no reason not to write; I was used to writing articles that would never be read by anyone.
Abandoning the box, I walked across the now empty apartment, filled only with cardboard boxes marked with various slogans like 'Andie's Sheets' and 'Andie's Nice Dresses.' I picked up a worn notebook, one that I had used when I first started working at the magazine, but I had long since deserted when I started using a laptop.
"Andie Anderson: How to Keep a Guy" I wrote as neatly as I could, knowing that my legible handwriting had suffered since I had begun relying only on printed words.
Underneath the headline, I wrote 'Number One: Don't become too clingy'; I paused, tapping my pen against my lips as I thought. Being a clingy girlfriend was one of the things I had listed as what to do to lose a guy, so it made since to reverse it; but I didn't want to reverse everything I had written before, that wasn't real journalism. That was the easy way out. And Andie Anderson never took the easy way out.
What had I learned, really, while dating Ben? How to have fun and let go, how to be goofy but comfortable at the same time. I learned that a guy can put up with a lot more than expected and that they had material instincts, at least when it came to dogs.
"Number Two: Play hard to get, but not hard to love." Hmm, what gentle readers, does that mean exactly? Well, in my realm of twisted knowledge, it could only mean one thing: you don't have to sleep with him one the first night to make sure that he'll fall in love you with. If anything, you should prolong sleeping together, because what's the point of having sex if you don't even know the guy. 'Smart thinking Anderson', I thought with a smile, wondering how many girls would agree with what I had to say and knowing how many guys would curse the fact that I had ever been born.
But it didn't matter anyway, no one was going to be reading this, except maybe my girlfriends; there was no way that this 'advice column' would ever be read by the economic public. I faltered for a second, wondering if there was any point in me wasting my time writing a list of rules when I still had clothes and shoes to pack.
However, I found myself unable to drop my pen and abandon my paper, so I continued to write. "Number Three: Do what he likes too, not just what you want to do." Well, that one was pretty simple and straight ford, everyone said that; you had to give a little and get a little right? Even "Seventeen" magazine said that, didn't they teach that fact at grade school? Anyway, that was simple enough and lucky for me, Ben and I both liked Nicks basketball, so I already knew that we weren't going to be fighting over the television on game night.
"Number Four-" I paused, dropping my pen against the legal paper when the phone rang, reminding me that I still had my electrical appliances to pack up. You could always use an extra phone in your apartment, so I had been planning on bringing my phone despite the fact that Ben's apartment came equipped.
I stood up, pushing my chair behind me as I padded over to where the phone was, sighing as it picked it up off all the cradle. "Hello?" I answered, realizing for the first time all night that exhaustion was beginning to set in and I still had a mountain of tasks in front of me.
"Hey Andie." Greeted the caller, his voice making me smile even before he finished speaking. Ben seemed to be breaking one of the rules that girls had set in stone, not to call too much; not that Ben was racking up phone charges but it was hard to go through the day without getting a call from. And vice versa.
"Hi Benny-Boo-Bear." I giggled, picturing him rolling his eyes as I greeted him. "What's up?"
"Oh nothing, I just wanted to know if you needed any help packing, 'cause I'm in the neighborhood." He offered, causing me to smile yet again, touched by his words. I was certain that coming over to help me pack wasn't the only thing Ben wanted to do, but I wouldn't argue. Besides, I needed help if I wanted to pack everything away.
"Okay, sure, I'll see you in a few." I hung up after bidding him goodbye, traces of a smile still spread across my face. I walked by across the room, slipping back into my seat, pen poised and ready to right down rule number four when I was startled by a knock on my apartment door.
When Ben had said he was in the neighborhood, I didn't know he meant that he was really *in* the neighborhood; oh well, a shining example of meaning what you say and saying what you mean. I stood up again, making it over to the door just as Ben knocked again, which was something he often did. The ever impatient male.
I opened the door and there was Ben, all smiles, with our adopted child, the non-appealing Chinese terrier which I had named Craw in another attempt to drive Ben away. "Hey, Craw and I came to help you out." Ben greeted, leaning toward me and giving me a kiss to add to his greeting, which I happily returned. Craw whined, causing Ben to pull away and glare at the dog, which he seemed to insist on taking everywhere with him, probably just to keep him from ravaging his apartment.
I stood aside to let him enter, which he did, shutting the door behind him; he looked around, noting all the boxes but keeping silent, knowing that there was still much that needed to be packed. I had told him so earlier on the phone, which had probably prompted the impromptu visit.
I turned to Ben, smiling at him. "I'll go and get some more boxes." I told him, walking into my bedroom (soon to be someone else's bedroom) and retrieved the empty boxes which I had stacked up neatly on my bed.
When I returned, I noticed that Craw was running around, most likely looking for somewhere to relieve himself. I also noticed that Ben was standing by the table where I had been seated only minutes earlier, eyes scanning the words that I had written down in my discarded notebook.
He turned around when he sensed that I had returned, holding the notebook in front of him as though it would shield him from a potential wrath. I guess Crazy Andie had really left a mark on his dating future. "What's this, another article for that chick magazine?" He asked, shaking the notebook.
I shrugged, unsure of what to say, other than the fact that it wasn't another article, especially not for the so-called 'chick magazine' since I had quit two weeks ago. "Well, no, not exactly, just a little something I was writing to pass the time." I told him, setting the boxes down (startling Craw in doing so) and walking over to where Ben stood.
"Oh yeah?" Ben said, smiling at me as he set down the notebook, wrapping his arms around my waist. "You didn't finish, what's rule number four?" He smiled coyly and I knew that there was indeed something on his mind other than packing.
I shrugged again, I hadn't really decided what Rule Number Four was going to be. "I don't know," I told him, struck by a sudden train of thought. In an attempt to be romantic I added, "Rule Four is fall in love with a sweet, cute, selfless, funny, kind man named Benny-Boo-Bear."
Ben smiled, shaking his head. "That's it? That's your rule?" He asked, incredulously. He was all smiles as he said, "No wonder they fired you."