"Garcia, why did you drag me to this? You know I don't like musical theatre," Spencer whined as he and Garcia walked through the doors to the building.
"Oh hush, you. I know you don't like it but you owe me. Besides, I promised my friends that I would come and see the show. Really, you all should be here to see me in this but no, no, some wacko serial killer in Colorado made me miss auditions. Since you were the one who brought the case to Hotch's attention, you. owe. me." She punctuated her final phrase with sharp jabs to Spencer's shoulder. "Besides, Boy Wonder, the show is called CHESS. How perfect is that for you? You are going to love it."
"If you say so. I still say that it isn't my fault that we caught that case. We were off rotation!" he argued futilely. Resigned to being Garcia's partner for the show, he tried to relax and enjoy the experience. It was difficult though as he really disliked musical theatre. Oh, he enjoyed going to see plays and operas when he had the opportunity. He absolutely loved the opera but there was a big difference between opera and musical theatre. This show was firmly on the side of musical. As soon as Garcia had told him that he was going to be attending with her, he had looked up the show to see how bad it was going to be.
It wasn't a bad storyline, he admitted. The idea of playing out cold war tensions through the international chess scene was rather intriguing. What he was having trouble reconciling though was the music that he was going to be forced to listen to for the next few hours. His research had uncovered that 2 of the 3 people who had written the music were in fact members of the musical group ABBA. As everything about the musical's background mentioned this, his curiosity had him looking up the group. Spencer shuddered at the memory of listening to Dancing Queen the first time. He was too scared to say anything to Garcia about it though for fear of her making that his theme song or changing his cell phone ringer to it. Given some of his nicknames and the way she treated him, young and sweet and only 17? Goodness, enough jokes had been made over the years about his age that this would be the cherry on top.
Lost in his thoughts, he didn't realize how much time had passed until Garcia was pushing him towards his seat in the semi-dark room. Trying hard not to think about what could be all over the seats, Spencer sat down and prepared himself for the show. The lights dimmed even further and the music began, his last thought was that it couldn't be too bad...could it?
It could. It was exactly what he was afraid of. Sure, the story was just as interesting as he thought it would be. However the music was an odd combination of the techno mash reminiscent of the 1980s coupled with the expository lyrics necessary to keep the plot moving forward. Sure, some of the songs had his foot tapping along and the performers were surprisingly talented for a small community theatre, but he was cursing himself for getting roped into attending regardless. When the curtain closed and the lights came on for intermission, he breathed a sigh of relief.
"Isn't it wonderful? I love this musical! It is one of my all time favorites. It is so highly underrated though," Garcia gushed happily, snaking her arm around Spencer's to pull him closer to her. She leaned against his shoulder and said dreamily, "The best songs are yet to come. One Night in Bangkok, I Know Him so Well? Amazing! Though I do love the Embassy Lament. What's your favorite so far?"
"Umm, I can't say yet...uh, it is an interesting story. I am rather impressed with how they have choreographed everything in accordance with the various gambits. I'm surprised though, there is much more of an emphasis on the romantic period whereas the games they are playing fall much more in line with the later periods that emphasized attack combinations. It is making me want to play out the Evergreen Game again. Last time I did, I focused on the role of Dufresne. I would love to find some weakness in Anderssen's play but he truly earned the title of," Spencer was cut off by Garcia.
"Reid, don't start that here. Please? I know you aren't a fan of musicals but can't we just enjoy the show and not get caught up in the technical side of the game? Please?" Her eyes were pleading with him and he always found saying no to her just shy of impossible.
"Fine, I'll pay attention to the show. Hmm...did you know that traditionally the second half of a production is shorter than the first? In fact, it has been found that the most successful ratio between the length of the first and second acts of a show actually works out to be the golden ratio or approximately 1.618?"
Garcia's laughter was genuine and loving as she hugged her friend. After that, conversation flowed between the two friends like always. All too soon, the lights started flickering and they were forced back to the theatre for the second act.
The lights dimmed and Spencer groaned internally. He had enjoyed intermission and wasn't really looking forward to more of this show. Perhaps he could run through a short game of chess in his mind and not miss much? It was worth a shot. He mentally began to set up a board and ran through his opening move options. He had allowed part of his focus to remain on the show, letting the music and lyrics wash over him and turning his moves into a dance along his imagined chessboard. At last, the black king was knocked over and white took the victory.
Smiling, he turned his focus to the show just in time for the American character to begin a sorrowful lament of his life. Spencer's breath caught as the words were sung,
When I was nine I learned survival
Taught myself not to care
I was my single good companion
Taking my comfort there
Up in my room I planned my conquests
On my own - never asked for a helping hand
No one would understand
I never asked the pair who fought below
Just in case they said no
Pity the child who has ambition
Knows what he wants to do
Knows that he'll never fit the system
Others expect him to
Pity the child who knew his parents
Saw their faults
Saw their love die before his eyes
Pity the child that wise
He never asked "Did I cause your distress?"
Just in case they said yes
When I was twelve my father moved out
Left with a whimper - not with a shout
I didn't miss him - he made it perfectly clear
I was a fool and probably queer
By the time the song has reached this point, Spencer was gripping the armrests of the chair so tightly that his knuckles were white. Even Garcia had noticed that something had changed. Spencer was breathing heavily, feeling raw and exposed even though he knew that no one around him, outside of Garcia, knew of his past. No one knew that this song seemed to be written about him. It would be ok, it wasn't about him.
Fool that I was I thought this would bring
Those he had left closer together
She made her move the moment he crawled away
I was the last the woman told
She never let her bed get cold
Someone moved in - I shut my door
Someone to treat her just the same way as before
While the song continued, Spencer started to relax. See? He told himself, this is nothing like his own life. His mother wasn't like this. That comfort didn't last for long though as he realized that even though this mother had different reasons, the results were the same. The panic started to creep back in, why were they singing about him? Why were they exposing him in this way? It was too much, far too much.
I took the road of least resistance
I had my game to play
I had the skill, and more - the hunger
Easy to get away
Pity the child with no such weapons
No defense, no escape from the ties that bind
Always a step behind
I never called to tell her all I'd done
I was only her son!
Pity the child but not forever
Not if he stays that way
He can get all he ever wanted
If he's prepared to pay
Pity instead the careless mother
What she missed
What she lost when she let me go
And I wonder does she know
I wouldn't call - a crazy thing to do
Just in case she said who?
As the last strains of the song rang out through the theatre, Spencer found himself jumping out of his seat and running for the exit. Garcia, trailed after him, concerned. As they burst into the lobby, they both drew up short, blinded by the sudden light. Garcia looked towards her friend and felt her heart breaking at his expression. His eyes were wild and unfocused, fear etched in every line of his face.
"Sweetie, what's wrong? Are you ok?" She gently placed her hand on his, where he was holding his messenger bag in a death grip in front of himself like a shield. "What happened?"
The gentle touch of his friend grounded him enough to choke out, "The song," voice cracking. "The song. I, can we go, please? Please, Garcia, I can't go back. I..." he trailed off as the panic was back. He was backing away from Garcia, away from the door to the auditorium and towards the exit. "I need fresh air. I can't go back, I can't."
"Shhh, it's ok sweetie, it's ok. We can go. Do you want to go get some ice cream? There is a diner around the corner I was going to suggest after the show." She wasn't going to let Spencer go off alone until he had calmed down. Seeing him nod yes, she lightly guided him out the door and towards the diner.
The diner was a popular spot for cast, crew, and audience alike before and after shows. With the second act not even half over when they exited, the diner was thankfully quiet at the moment. They asked for a small booth in the back as it was as private as they could get. After ordering their ice cream, Garcia looked at Spencer with a critical eye. While not nearly as agitated as he had been at the theatre, he was still tense and nervous. "What's wrong? Talk to me, Reid," she said finally.
Spencer looked up at her. He knew that she was aware of his past, the Fisher King case a few years earlier had brought all of it to light. Even though that case was rarely spoken of any longer, the memory of what had happened to Elle still painful to those who had known her, it wasn't as though he hid anything that had been learned on that case any longer. However, it was also obvious that Garcia hadn't made the connection in the same way he had. Knowing that trying to hide anything from her or the rest of the team was next to impossible, he decided that it would be easier to just get it over with and tell her. "The song, I don't know what it is called, but it hit too close to home. The request to pity the man because his father left him, because he was ambitious and didn't fit in? Because he was alone and fighting against everything with only himself? Because even now, he can't tell his mother of all he has done because she wouldn't recognize him? It...it was too much."
As soon as he started to describe the song, everything fell into place for her. She knew him and the song well enough that she should have pieced it together. She should have thought about that before dragging him out to the show. She had gotten so caught up in the fact that he was the resident chess guru that she didn't think about how this might affect him. "Oh, no! I didn't even think. I'm so sorry, Reid. I'm so sorry!"
Spencer smiled tightly, "It's ok, I probably overreacted. It just really caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting to hear essentially my life story in song. All they missed was Georgia and Gideon..." he finished bitterly.
"Oh, Reid. That isn't your life. You didn't turn into the kind of man that character is. You are honest, and noble, and amazing. You are so much more than the life in that song. Are there parallels? Of course there are but you are so much more." Garcia said earnestly. She was desperate to remind him of how much more he was than a child to be pitied, he was a strong and amazing man in spite of if not because of everything he had endured growing up.
"Thanks, Garcia. I'll be ok. The fresh air and promise of ice cream are helping. Just please, please don't drag me to any of these again. Please?"
She giggled but was saved from actually having to respond by their desserts arriving. "Fine, Junior G-Man, I won't take you to any more musicals. Conventions on the other hand..."