Author's Note: This is my first Grey's story. Everything in parentheses is Meredith's voice-over. I hope you enjoy it. Read and review! :)
Ch. 1
"From the Ashes"
Ethan Posey was wide awake on the couch in the living room. He couldn't sleep; all he could think about was the fight that he and Sara had last night. It was a stupid fight anyways. Of all things, they argued over him forgetting to pick up party decorations for Jack's, their son's, end of school party the next day. Worse than that, the whole argument spiraled into a "you're never home, you're always at the firehouse" argument. Which, of course he would be, because he's a fireman. With his left hand on his forehead, he stared at the ceiling, looking at the small cracks and bumps. He turned his head towards the window, noticing that the bit of sky was beginning to become lighter. Dawn was approaching. Another day to begin.
He looked over at the small clock he had brought out from their bedroom. It was 5:45 am. The sun would be rising soon, and the kids would be waking up to go to school. He sighed heavily, bringing his hand down to his chest. Immediately, he noticed something gleaming. His wedding ring. He never took it off, not even when he showered. The fight kept on replaying in his mind, all the things that they had said to each other reverberating. As he continued to stare at his ring, he then realized that it was just one fight. He knew he didn't mean what he said, and he also knew that Sara didn't mean what she said. It's just that things were tight. They had money, but not enough of it. Bills had to be paid. Sara's time at school for her Master's was a lot to deal with. But the fight: it was small. Looking at his ring, Ethan knew what he had to do: apologize. Tell Sara that he loved her, that he would always love her. And that no matter what happened, no matter what fights they had, one thing was for sure: they had each other.
BOOM! The whole apartment shook. ("When tragedy strikes…,) A glass figurine that was on the table smashed onto the floor. A scream reverberated through the room, bringing Ethan to full alert. (…it's as if the whole world freezes.) He jerked the blanket off of him and jumped up off the couch. In his underwear, he grabbed his pants and jerked them on. The scream was familiar. (Time stops.) It was his daughter, Amy. He ran across the living room and down the hall to her room. As he grew closer, the hall started to heat up, dramatically. Sweat began to fall from his head. His heart pumped faster as he reached Amy's door, opening it, terror washing over him. (Your life flashes before your eyes...,)
For he saw, outside her window, flames growing. They rapidly made their way in through the window, catching upon the curtains.
"Dad! Help!" screamed Amy.
Ethan sprinted over to the bed. Amy began to cough. Ethan reached her bed and scooped her up into his arms. "Let's get your mom and Jack!"
He ran out of the room, just as the flames engulfed the last of the curtains, making their way down to the floor. As Ethan entered his son Jack's room, the heat was no less intense. Stepping in off the threshold, Ethan then yelled, "Jack! Wake up! Let's go!" Groggily, Jack opened his eyes, rubbing them, sitting up and saying, "Daddy? What's wrong?"
"Nothing! Now, let's go!" screamed Ethan.
Jack climbed out of bed, putting on his slippers. He ran over to Ethan, who by then, set down his daughter and grabbed his son's hand. Pushing her, Ethan led Amy out of the door and down the hall. Back in the living room, Ethan knelt down in front of his children.
"Go to the front door and wait. I'll get Mom. Ok?" said Ethan.
Amy and Jack nodded. Ethan stood up and turned back to the hallway. The flames were now out in the hall. Ethan ran, to the first door on the right of the hallway. Stopping at the threshold, his heart nearly stopped. Sara wasn't on the bed or standing nearby. She was sprawled on the floor. (…and before you know it...,)
"Sara!" yelled Ethan.
He ran over and knelt down at her side. Picking up her head, he opened an eyelid, seeing that she was unconscious. Laying her head back down, he retreated his hand. Blood was on his fingertips. (…you are drowning in a pile of ashes…,) She was bleeding in the back of her brain. Looking up at the bed, Ethan deduced that she must have been sleeping on the edge of the bed, which she tends to do, and fallen hard when the crash happened.
However, Ethan didn't have much time to stop the bleeding. For more flames were coming in through their bedroom window. (…unable to see the horizon.) Panic flooding him, he stood up and scooped up his wife, grunting loudly in the process. He ran out of the room, noticing the flames at the end of the hall advancing into Jack's room. The heat was unbearable now, as Ethan ran back into the living room.
"What's wrong with Mommy?!" screamed Jack.
"Go! Go to the stairs! Now!" he yelled.
The children did as they were told. When they left, Ethan ran to the coffee table. He had taken out his phone and wallet from his pocket when he got home from the firehouse. So naturally, they were sitting on the coffee table, having taken them out before he took off his pants for the night. Bending low, holding Sara with one arm, he grabbed his phone, placed it in his pocket, and then his wallet. He turned back and noticed the flames advancing the corridor. He ran out the door and down the hall to the stairs, where Amy and Jack were.
"Go! Down the stairs! Fast!" he yelled.
As he reached the door, he heard others shrieking. (So what do you do…,) Running down the stairs, after his children, he saw many run out of the first floor door, screaming bloody murder. On the first floor landing, he peered into the bit of hallway he could before the door closed, seeing flames and smoke everywhere. His eyes widened. Running like mad, he reached the bottom of the stairs, feeling cool night air hit his face. He ran outside, caught his breath, and searched for a place to put his wife for the time being. (…when you can't see…,) Seeing a bench on the other side of the road, he motioned for Amy and Jack to follow and ran across the road. Coming to the bench, he placed Sara down, elevating her head gently, motioning for Amy.
"Hold your mom's head. It's bleeding. Stay here, both of you. I love you." said Ethan.
"Where are you going?" asked Jack.
"To save lives, Jack. To save lives." he said. He kissed them both and ran back across the road. As panicked people filed out of the doors, Ethan pushed past them, saying "Excuse me", until he was in the building again. He climbed the stairs to the first floor and went to see who was left. Meanwhile, outside, the sun broke the horizon, light filling the sky, as sirens could be heard from a far-off distance. (…the sun on the horizon?)
_Grey's Anatomy_
"This way please, Dr. Grey." said the nurse.
"My kids." uttered Meredith.
"I'll watch them." said another nurse.
As Meredith gave Bailey to the nurse and Zola her hand, she looked back at the first nurse. Steeling herself for what she was about to see, she began to take steps, picking up a rhythm behind the nurse. As she walked, she looked in upon the rooms, seeing the different families in various emotions. Some jubilant, others crying. She never knew what it was like to be on this side. The side of the families, waiting for the news. Suddenly, the nurse stopped and turned around, facing her.
"You can go in, if you'd like, Dr. Grey."
Meredith breathed in, closing her eyes. Preparing herself, she opened them again, releasing her breath. She turned to the entrance of the patient room, surprised at what she saw. There was Derek, sitting up, head back on the pillow, eyes closed. She walked into the room, ever so softly. Derek opened his eyes, bringing his head level. He smiled his McDreamy smile and uttered, "Meredith."
"Derek." she uttered.
She smiled, thinking the worst had happened. Immediately, Meredith ran toward Derek, leaning over the rail of the bed, grabbing his face, and kissing him. Derek held her face in his hands, giving her a kiss back. He pulled away slightly, uttering, "I love you, Meredith."
Meredith startled awake. She looked up and out the window onto the porch, seeing the sunrise over Seattle. Then, a smile grew upon her face, hope igniting itself within her. She threw off the covers, over the back of the couch, and stood up. Running, she ran back to where her and Derek's bedroom is and threw it open, hoping beyond hope. Looking around, listening for the shower, she hoped Derek would be there. But then, reality set back in.
She gazed up at the Post-It and then to the side of the bed that was Derek's. Her hand on the knob, she simply stood there, on the threshold. Thinking of the times that Derek would wrap his arms around her in bed. Thinking of the time when her and Derek talked about their unborn baby. Thinking of her and him being intimate. As memories flashed across her mind, she shut the door and slid down it to the floor. Tears began to flow and turn into sobs. For the next few minutes, Meredith remained like this, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, until a door opened and she quickly sniffed.
Zola walked out of her room, holding her doorknob. "Mama, you okay?"
Meredith smiled. Holding her arms out wide, Zola walked over into Meredith's arms. "Yeah, sweetie. I'm okay."
"I miss daddy." uttered Zola.
"I know, baby. So do I." replied Meredith, hugging Zola tightly and kissing her on the forehead.
Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep. Meredith straightened up. That must be her pager. Holding Zola for a moment longer, she gave her one more quick kiss and began to stand up.
"Wait a second, Zola." she said.
She walked back to the living room. Picking up her pager from her purse hanging on the chair, she turned it over, seeing the 911-ER.
"Zola!" Meredith yelled.
Zola walked into the room and coming to stand next to Meredith. "What, mommy?"
"Go wake your brother for me. Get your clothes on. Mommy has to work, and I'll take you three to the daycare. Ok?" she asked.
"Ok!" Zola replied, running away and back down the hall.
Meredith hurried back to the door to her bedroom, steeled herself, and opened it. Avoiding the bed, she walked over to her dresser and opened it. She grabbed what she needed and turned towards the bathroom. Walking in, she turned around and stared at the bed once more. A tear slowly falling, she wiped it away, not having time, and shut the bathroom door.
The sun continued to rise over the Seattle bay. As it filtered into Meredith's old bedroom, Alex and Jo were in the throes of sex. Alex was on top of Jo, grunting and panting. He slid his hands beneath Jo's shoulders, kissing her lips and her neck. Suddenly, Alex moaned, arched his back, and a second later collapsed upon her. Pulling out of her, he then rolled over onto his side, seeing the smile on Jo's face.
"Wow!" exclaimed Jo.
"Yeah, our best yet." laughed Alex. Jo punched his shoulder playfully, to which Alex simply began to tickle her. As both of them continued laughing, the pagers that were on both side tables began buzzing. Unaware, Alex began kissing Jo once more, his arms under her shoulders, her arms over his and behind his head. The buzzing continued, and this time, both heads turned in opposite directions.
"Ughhh! No!" exclaimed Alex.
He rolled off of Jo and reached for his pager. Turning it over, he soon saw the 911-ER on the interface.
"Crap!" he yelled, swinging the covers off and his legs over the bed. He grabbed his underwear, put them on, and soon searched for his pants. Jo simply moaned and climbed out of bed. Soon, both were dressed and running down the stairs.
At Grey-Sloan Memorial, Meredith strutted down the hallway, trying to get her watch on. As she reached the turn to the nurses' station, she caught up with Maggie, who was holding onto a patients' chart in her hand.
"Hey." said Maggie.
The strap of Meredith's watch finally fastened, she straightened the watch so the clock face was up. She looked up at Maggie and said, "Hey."
"Get the page?" asked Maggie.
"Yeah, early this morning. What happened?" Meredith replied.
"Not sure. I had an early surgery this morning, and I just got out. Aortic aneurysm repair. Just did the post-op. That's when I got the page." explained Maggie.
They reached the nurses' station. As Maggie handed the chart to one of the nurses', Meredith saw April standing on the other side, writing notes into a chart. "April! What's going on downstairs?!"
Looking up from the chart, pen still in hand, April replied, "A gas main blew in an apartment. Some casualties. Many injured. One missing."
Meredith and Maggie looked at each other for a few seconds. Then, they were off to the elevators. While April finished up her notes in the chart, Jackson came around the corner, chart by his side. April looked up and then looked back down, afraid he might see her staring. But wait, she thought. Isn't that the whole point? She slowly lifted her head back up, seeing Jackson hand off the chart to a nurse.
"Get Mr. Dean ready for discharge. We're going to need all the beds we can get." said Jackson.
Once the chart left his hand, he immediately turned around to go downstairs. But then, he caught April's gaze. They stared at each other for what felt like, to him, an eternity. While Jackson had on a stern look, still angry about their conversation, April formed a smile, hoping that that would be it for a conversation. But instead, Jackson turned his head away from April, shaking it, and headed off to the elevator to head down to the ER. Once Jackson was gone, the smile faded from April's face. A tear fell down, and she returned to the chart below her.
"Sara Posey, female, 34, blunt head trauma. Found lying unconscious on a bench outside the apartment with her kids. BP: 130/90." exclaimed the paramedic as the gurney carrying Sara was wheeled out of the ambulance.
Amelia stood by the ambulance, taking in the information by the paramedic. Once the gurney was on solid ground, she grabbed hold of the side and yelled, "Let's go!"
As the gurney was rolled away, Amy and Jack stepped out of the ambulance. Both of them were scared, Jack holding onto Amy, unsure of what to do. When the paramedic closed the doors, both of them stepped out of the way, startled by the loud slam of the doors. Running to them, Jo knelt down and asked Amy, "Are you guys hurt? Where are your parents?"
"We're fine. But that was our mom they just wheeled away." said Amy.
"The lady on the gurney?" asked Jo.
Both children nodded. Jo stood up and got behind both kids. She nudged them forward, and they began to start walking towards the entrance to the ER. "Let's go to the waiting room for awhile. Wait for the doctors." replied Jo, bending down low so the children could hear her.
Back at the ambulances, Bailey, April, and Jackson opened up another set of red doors. Immediately, another paramedic with a gurney rushed out. "Aaron Pike, male, 25. Third degree burns over neck and chest. Abdominal injuries apparent. BP: 120/80."
"Wher… where am I? What happened?" asked Aaron.
"Mr. Pike, you're at the hospital. There was an explosion. We're going to take care of you now, ok?" said Miranda.
"Where's Jaime? Have you seen him?" he asked.
"I haven't. But we need to take care of you now." Bailey replied as they wheeled the gurney into the ER.
As the doors closed to the ambulance, another one was arriving. When it finished backing up, Meredith and Maggie opened the doors. The paramedics rushed out with a man who had a piece of glass stuck in his chest, unconscious.
"Ethan Posey, male, 35. Found lying in rubble in one of the apartments. Third degree burns on parts of his face , trauma to his chest, and abdominal injuries. Witness outside said he went back in to help people after saving his wife and kids."
As Meredith and Maggie began to wheel him away from the ambulance, he began to wake up. Opening his eyes, Ethan began to look around, searching for something. He lifted his arm and felt around his body, looking to see what it was that was bothering him. Looking down at him, Meredith noticed that his hand was too close to the glass in his chest. She let go of one of the sides of the gurney, grabbing Ethan's hand.
"You have a piece of glass stuck in your chest, Mr. Posey. You also have some abdominal injuries. We're going to take care of you, ok? You're going to be fine. Just relax." said Meredith, gripping his hand tight.
As Ethan's eyes settled upon Meredith's face, they grew ever bigger. Immediately, he tightened his grip around Meredith's hand, as if never wanting to let go again. He brought it down close to him again.
"Sara," he said faintly, "I thought I'd never see you again. I'm so sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. You scared me when I saw you on the floor."
Meredith looked quizzically at him. What was he saying? Who's Sara? Before Meredith could ask anything further, however, Ethan began to lose consciousness, his grip beginning to loosen.
"Mr. Posey! Mr. Posey, stay with me!," yelled Meredith, gripping his hand tighter. Feeling the grip, Ethan opened his eyes but ever so slightly. He gazed at Meredith and smiled, uttering "Ok".
Not letting go of her hand, Meredith looked up to Maggie, who was sporting the same quizzical look. "Let's hurry. I don't know how much longer he can hold on for." uttered Meredith softly.
"Say 'Ahhh!'" Alex said, pointing the depressor and light down Amy's throat.
While Alex finished his exam on Amy, Jo was flashing her light across Jack's eyes. All around them, people chatted quietly about what happened. Some were crying; others in shock over how fast it happened; and still many others were simply waiting for news about their loved ones. When Jo finished perusing Jack's throat, she placed the light into her pocket and stared at the two children.
"Do you guys know how this happened, the explosion?" she asked.
Amy's hands rested in her lap. Jack simply looked at her, wanting her to be the one to speak up. She looked up at Alex and Jo, one with a concerned look and the other with his arms crossed, staring down. She shifted up the bed a little, Jack following suit. Letting out a sight, she uttered, "We were asleep. Then, I heard a loud noise, and when I woke up, there was fire coming through my window. I screamed for my dad, and he came in and grabbed me. We went to get Jack and then my dad left us by the front door. He went back after that to get our mom."
"How did your mom end up on the bench?" asked Alex.
"My dad took us outside. He laid her down on the bench and told us to stay with her." Amy replied.
"Where'd your dad go?" Jo then asked.
"Back inside the building. He said he was going to 'save lives', or something." she said.
Alex brought his hands down and placed them in his pocket. Shifting his feet, he asked, "What are your parents' names?"
"Ethan and Sara Posey." uttered Amy.
It was like something hard had just hit Alex in the gut. He looked over at Jo, who now had a very worried look upon her face. For indeed, the two people that Amy had just named were not in great shape. Alex tried to keep his face from going dark, but it was to no avail. Picking up on this exchange, Amy asked, "What happened to my mom and dad?"
Through the radiologists' window, Ethan laid still upon the machine. The shard of glass protruding from his chest, he slid back into the cavernous inside of the CT machine. On the other side of the window, Meredith and Maggie waited for the scans to come up. Maggie sat up on the edge of the chair, elbows on the desk, hands in fists by her mouth. She watched Ethan through the window, every now and then glancing down towards the monitor, holding her breath. Meredith, however, leaned back into the chair, arms upon the armrests. While she stared at the screen, waiting for images to appear, she couldn't help but go back to what Ethan had said to her. Who was Sara? What was he sorry about? Why say it to her?
By this time, Ethan had stopped inside the machine, scan now being taken. Unable to stand it, Maggie heaved a sigh and sat back in the chair. One arm leaning over the armrest, she ever so subtly turned her gaze towards Meredith.
Quickly looking back to the screen, she then uttered, "You okay?"
Startled, Meredith pulled out of her hard gaze. She shook her head and turned to Maggie, who had on a mild concerned look. Meredith gazed back beyond the screen, looking directly into the window at Ethan.
"I just-I was thinking about what Ethan said to me earlier. How strange was that? I mean, what happened to make him say that?" asked Meredith.
Maggie shifted in her seat. She had heard what Ethan said to Meredith, and she wasn't going to lie about it being strange. But what was even stranger was the fact that Meredith just jumped into telling her what was wrong. Of course, she had not that long ago spilled to Meredith personal details about her parents' break-up. But she didn't really expect Meredith to reciprocate. Yes, they had worked themselves up to friends, but she wasn't sure still about this. It was, on the whole, a surprise, and therefore, an immediate reply would seem hasty.
Maggie leaned back up to the edge of her seat, wondering how much longer it would be. As both her and Meredith stared at the screen and window, a knowing silence grew. It was as if Maggie didn't have to say anything. Meredith simply knew. After a few minutes, Maggie turned her head to speak but was cut off when Alex and Jo came in.
"How's the dad?" asked Alex, coming to stand behind Meredith.
"Right now he's fine, but the scans haven't come up." Meredith replied. When the word "dad" registered in her mind, Meredith then turned around in her seat with a quizzical look on her face. "Dad?" she uttered.
"Yeah. We just got finished examining the two kids. The older one, the daughter, said that he and his wife, Sara, were their parents." he explained.
At this, Meredith and Maggie looked at each other. They then turned back to the monitor, wishing the scans would hurry up. Finally, they did. Both of them leaned in, perusing at the monitors. The more they looked, the grimmer their faces became.
"Damn. It's right near the pericardium. This isn't going to be easy." she said, sighing and leaning back into the chair.
"Yeah, and his abdomen isn't any better. Look at that bleeding. It's going to be a mess." uttered Meredith.
"You guys getting him to the OR right away?" asked Jo.
"We have to, or he'll die," said Meredith, leaning forward and pressing the microphone with her index finger. "How're you doing in there, Mr. Posey?"
"I-I'm doing…" Ethan started. Then, he went unconscious. Immediately, the alarm on the vitals monitor went off. Chills went down Meredith's spine as she pushed herself away from the desk, yelling, "Get the crash cart! Now!"
She ran out of the room and into the other one, pushing the "Code Blue" button on the wall and then running to the side of the machine, pushing the out button. On her heels ran Maggie to the other side of the machine. Turning to face Jo, she then said, "Call the OR now. Tell them we're coming up."
Jo nodded and ran out of the room. As soon as she left, Alex came in with the gurney, along with the code blue team with the crash cart. As soon as Ethan was out, Meredith pulled away the headrest, while Maggie began CPR. Meredith called for the paddles, making sure that they were away from the shard of glass. After the shock, Meredith shot her head up to look at the monitor, panic written on her face.
Amelia stood over Sara's brain, with the Bovie in her hand. As she cauterized the bleeder, she looked up from the incision to the intern standing next to her.
"Suction please." she said.
The intern, Dr. DeLuca, stepped forward and brought the suction down to the incision site. As he pulled it away, Amelia looked down and then at the scans on the other side of the OR. She breathed a sigh of relief.
"Almost finished." she uttered.
Looking back down, she perused the open brain once more, making sure that there were no more bleeders to be seen. And then, the door to the OR opened, with Owen walking in, a white mask held over his mouth and nose. A serious look crossed his face as he looked down to see Sara unconscious on the table. As tears began to well up in his eye, Amelia lifted her eyes for a brief moment to see who it was that came in.
"What?" she said through her mask, going back now to the surgery.
Hearing her voice, Owen shook his head and back into reality. He gazed up to Amelia and said, "How-How it's going in here?"
"She had a massive brain bleed from where she fell in the fire. I didn't think I'd be able to be control it. Then we had a scare with her vitals, but all in all, Sara's going to be just fine. I'm almost finished here anyways." explained Amelia.
Owen shifted his feet slightly. "And you? How are you?"
Amelia sighed. She stopped what she was doing and looked up at him, with eyes of a very annoyed expression behind her mask. "I'm in surgery, Owen. I'm trying to save this woman's life. Now is not the time to ask me how I am doing. Besides, I'm getting really tired of people asking me that. Now, will you please leave so I can finish?" she asked.
They both stared at each other for a moment longer. Finally, Amelia looked back down, muttered for suction, and continued to repair the bleed in Sara's brain. Meanwhile, Owen simply stood, sad eyes upon the woman who he now called his girlfriend. It had been over a year since Derek's death, and a month since that night. Seeing that she wasn't going to look back up, he then turned back around and shuffled back to the door. Opening it, he walked out, and as it was closing, Amelia looked up for another brief moment to watch the door close all the way.
Ethan laid upon the OR table, an intubation tube down his throat. As nurses rushed around and the anesthesiologist monitored his vitals, Meredith stood over his abdomen repairing the bleeding that was evident upon his scans. Maggie, meanwhile, stood up above at Ethan's chest, cutting around the piece of glass, seeing where it had exactly penetrated.
"Damn. The glass is a lot closer to the pericardium than I thought. It could pierce it at any moment." said Maggie through her mask.
Meredith pulled a part of a suture she was doing up. She continued this back-and-forth sewing, calling for suction every now and then. After a few minutes, she then looked up to Maggie and asked, "Need help?"
"Yeah. It's going to be difficult pulling this shard of glass out. You almost done?" she asked.
Meredith pulled on the last suture. Cutting the thread, she smiled at her work and handed off the surgical scissors to the scrub nurse. She examined the area to make sure everything was good, that there was no more bleeding in the abdomen. With the sutures holding, Meredith called for suction one last time. She examined the incision once more and saw that everything was clear. With that, she began to close Ethan's abdomen.
"I'm finished," said Meredith, cutting the last suture on Ethan's incision.
She then moved up to the opposite side of where Maggie stood. Looking down, she could see where the tip of shard was just poking the pericardium. It was a time bomb for sure, she thought. Every move had to count, be precise. No room for error.
"Okay. I'm going to slowly pull out the shard, and as I do, put as much gauze around the pericardium as much as possible. Let's keep the bleeding to a minimum." explained Maggie.
Meredith nodded her head. She turned to the side and held out her hands. At once, gauze was placed in her hands, with more on standby. As Meredith turned back to the table, ready and waiting, Maggie steeled herself and grasped the tip of the shard. She gave a small tug on it, to see how loose it really was. Meredith brought her hands down and placed the gauze around the shard.
"Ready?" asked Maggie, staring at Meredith through the top of her mask.
"Yep, ready." replied Meredith.
Maggie gazed back down at Ethan's chest and began to pull the shard out. Meredith packed more gauze into the incision, stopping the bleeding that was there. But as the tip of the shard was lifted up from its resting place, the alarm on the vitals monitor sounded.
"Crap! What happened?!" exclaimed Maggie.
She quickly discarded the shard into the metal container the scrub nurse held out. Calling out for suction, she began feeling around inside for a tear. Meredith packed more gauze around the incision, hoping that the blood could be controlled. After searching for a few seconds, Maggie's hand stopped, her fingers moving where the shard had touched the pericardium.
"Ughh! The shard nicked the pericardium. Someone get a suture ready, please!" yelled Maggie.
A nurse from somewhere beside her handed her the suture. But Maggie simply grabbed it without looking away, hurrying before Ethan flatlined. As Meredith packed more gauze in to give Maggie more visibility, she couldn't help but look over the drape and see Ethan's face, intubation tube sticking out. She then turned her gaze to the monitor, calling out that his blood pressure was rising. Meredith watched as Maggie readied the suture and then the sound of the flatline filled her ears.
Night had now fallen. Streetlights were coming on around Seattle. People were making their way home from work. The ER of Grey-Sloan Memorial was beginning to calm down. April stood at the front desk overlooking the near empty beds. As the phone rang and the nurse at the desk answered it, April looked back down to the chart of Aaron Pike. She continued to make post-op notes, nodding off every now and then, thinking about the hectic surgery and day it had been. She tucked her arm up under her chin, trying to keep her head from falling on the counter. And then, she heard a voice enter the ER.
"I'm exhausted. Want to go Joe's and get a drink, man?" asked Jackson.
Jackson turned to the person who was on his right, walking along him. It was Alex. Like Jackson, he was exhausted too. Surgery after surgery, standing around and waiting with kids he didn't know, a drink wasn't what he wanted at the moment. Gripping the strap of his bag, he turned his head and replied, "Nah man, I'm just gonna head home to Jo. See ya later?"
"Yeah." uttered Jackson.
Alex sped up and walked out of the hospital. Jackson slowly made his way to the door, dragging his feet, head somewhat drooping. From the moment he walked in, April had fixed her gaze on her husband. A sympathetic look on her, she stepped out from the counter and stood where Jackson could see her.
"Jackson?" asked April.
Instinctively, Jackson lifted his head. Already tired, he gazed upon April with little enthusiasm. He didn't want to fight. He didn't have the strength to fight now. All he wanted to do was go home and sleep. Without uttering a word, he turned his gaze and continued walking, right past April. Setting her pen down upon the chart, she walked clear out from the front desk and yelled, "Jackson?!"
Raising his hand, he said, "Leave me alone, April!"
He walked out the ER doors. Huffing, April marched after him. She was also tired, emotionally tired. This had gone on long enough, she thought. They needed to talk. She needed to talk to Jackson. Gaining on him, April reached out her hand, grabbed his elbow, and turned him around. Jackson groaned loudly. "What do you want from me, April?! I've already told you how I feel. Just let me alone."
Jackson began to turn around again but was stopped by her hand. Turning toward her, he had a look of annoyance and frustration on his face. April let go of his arm and stood up straight.
"I just wanted to say…" started April.
Jackson moaned. "April, are you still leaving? If you are, there's nothing left to say."
April stammered for an answer. She didn't know how to say what she wanted to say. Meanwhile, still frustrated, Jackson shifted his feet and stared down at April. He waited with his hands in his pockets for an answer. After a few minutes, though, April closed her mouth and simply stared at Jackson. Immediately, Jackson turned and walked away, tired of waiting. Fear of him leaving, April then blurted out, "I'm not leaving!"
Jackson froze in his spot. He spun around, a confused look upon his face. Hands still in his pockets, he waited patiently this time for April to explain.
"I called the Army and said I'm not going back. It was a great experience, but this last month being away from you made me realize that I don't want to be. I am sorry for shutting you out after Samuel died. I shouldn't have. You were going through as hard a time as I was, and I wasn't there. I am sorry, Jackson. I love you so much."
All the words were knocked out of him. All of the breath was knocked out of him. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. His hands, somewhere in the middle of April's speech, fell out and hung by his side. Now, it was April's turn to wait for an answer, but no answer came. All Jackson could do was stand there, dumbfounded.
After a few minutes, hearing no reply, April began to turn around. She began walking back toward the ER doors, feeling downtrodden that Jackson didn't have an answer. But then she heard him yell, "Wait, April!"
She turned around once more and saw Jackson jogging to where she was standing. Stopping in front of her, he looked directly into her eyes and said, "I love you too." And then, he leaned in and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Taken aback, April gave in to the kiss and wrapped her arms around Jackson's neck.
Standing at the small nurses' station, Meredith scribbled into the chart before her. She wrote down her observations and the vitals of the patient in the room before her. She stopped for a moment, thinking about what Ethan had to her. What was he sorry about? Had he and his wife gotten into a fight? Why did Ethan mistake Meredith for her? These questions filled her mind, making her stop writing. Meredith looked up from the chart and turned her head toward the ICU room. And there, beyond the glass doors, Ethan laid in the bed, unconscious, intubation tube still in his throat. Meredith stared at him for a moment longer, wondering, and then turned her head to the vitals monitor, seeing everything stable.
Catching what she needed from the monitor, she gazed back down to the chart. She then scribbled her signature, closed the chart, and handed it back to the nurses. Walking away from the desk, putting her pen into her pocket, Meredith stopped in front of the door, peering in at Ethan. She put her hands in her pockets and simply stared. Her mind then wondered to another man who laid in a similar position as Ethan, with a tube down in his throat. Only, that man was hooked up to a life support machine.
As Meredith stood there, thinking about Derek, tears rolled down her cheek. She gazed upon Ethan and hoped that he would wake soon, able to tell his wife everything. Minutes passed; the clock ticked. People passed Meredith by, some giving her a sympathetic look, while others looked beyond Meredith and at Ethan. Hands still in her pockets, she became lost in staring at Ethan. Until finally, someone came up close to her and startled her.
Jumping a little, Meredith turned her head to see that Maggie had walked up beside her. Maggie placed her hands in her pockets, standing straight up. The two sisters stood in silence, simply waiting for Ethan to wake up. And then, Maggie broke the silence.
"How is he?" she asked Meredith.
"His vitals are good; his abdominal incision looks great. He just hasn't woken up yet." replied Meredith, somewhat puzzled.
Maggie nodded her head, indicating that she understood. She then reached for the door and slid it back, walking into the room. She stopped by the sink to put gloves on and then approached Ethan's bedside. She lifted up his gown and tore back the dressing covering the incision to his heart. Inspecting it closely, Maggie tore it off completely and prepared to place the new dressing. In the meantime, as she did the dressing, Meredith walked in and sat down in one of the chairs in the room.
Having finished rubbing the medication onto the incision, Maggie then placed the dressing over it. She smoothed it out, patting Ethan's chest firmly to secure the dressing. Immediately, Ethan began to breathe on his own. Meredith stood up, eyes wide, hurrying over to the bedside to help Maggie. Putting on gloves, Meredith pulled back the tape that was keeping the tube secure. Then Maggie slowly pulled out the tube. Once all the way out, Ethan's chest began to heave. Meredith took off her gloves and placed them on the table above the bed. Laying her hands on the bed, she watched as Maggie discarded the intubation tube. Meredith then grabbed Ethan's wrist, checking his pulse.
As Meredith did this, with Maggie over at the sink throwing things away, Ethan opened his eyes. Questions began to fill his mind, one of them being where Sara was. His gaze flew around the room, trying to ascertain where he was. When he felt a hand upon his, he looked in the direction of the contact, seeing Meredith look at her watch. Immediately, he grabbed her wrist.
Meredith startled. Looking down, she noticed that Ethan's were open, and he was looking right at her. Her eyes widened, and she turned to the monitor. All vitals were stable. A small smile crossed her mouth as she turned back to Ethan.
"Mr. Posey, you're going to be all right. Your surgery was successful." explained Meredith.
Still holding on to her wrist, Ethan opened his mouth. There were so many things that he wanted to say, but the only thing that could come out was, "Where's Sara? Where's my wife?"
Puzzled, Meredith asked, "Excuse me? What was that?"
Grabbing her hand more, Ethan tried to sit up. He looked Meredith directly in the eye and swallowed. "Where's Sara? I need to tell her that I'm sorry. That I'm sorry for the fight we had. That I love her."
"I'm here, Ethan." a voice called. (In the midst of tragedy, the sun does come out.)
Immediately, Meredith looked over to the door. Ethan let go of her hand, and Meredith pulled it back. For in the doorway to his room, Sara sat in a wheelchair, alert, smiling, and with white bandages around her head. She turned her head slightly and gazed up at Amelia. Amelia then rolled her over to the other side of the bed, up close to Ethan. Meanwhile, Ethan's eyes fixed upon Sara, becoming more alert. When she made over to the bedside, Ethan opened his hand for her to take. Immediately, she did. And a tidal wave of relief washed over Ethan.
"I'm sorry, baby. For the fight. I love you so much. You are the love of my life." uttered Ethan.
Tears rolled down Sara's face. Her grip tightened upon Ethan's hand. As the both of them stared and smiled at each other, Meredith, Maggie, and Amelia began to away towards the door. Amelia and Maggie made it back on the other side of the glass without them noticing. But before Meredith could step her foot over the threshold, Ethan turned his head and saw her leaving.
"Thank you. For saving my life." said Ethan.
Meredith turned around and saw Ethan staring at her, hand still grasping Sara's. "You're welcome, Ethan."
Ethan smiled faintly and turned back to Sara. Meredith walked on out and closed the door, letting the two of them be alone. Maggie's stood at the window, hands returned to her pockets, while Amelia stood with her arms crossed over her chest, a small smile on her face. As Meredith closed the door, a small tear fell down. She then gazed upon Ethan and Sara, their happy, smiling faces and their hands tightly grasping the others.
As all three doctors stood and watched, Alex and Jo walked up to the window with the kids by their side. "Can they go in and see their parents?" asked Jo.
Startled, Meredith, Maggie, and Amelia jumped. Turning their torsos, they saw Amy and Jack standing on either of Alex and Jo. The kids looked in through the window and saw their parents talking and smiling with each other. Jack's eyes grew big, and he began to jump up and down. Amy stood there, smile on her face, relief flooding her. They then turned their heads up to Meredith, waiting for an answer.
Meredith gazed into the children's faces. Seeing the joy and happiness on their faces, she reached forward and opened the door.
"Just be careful, okay. Mom and Dad are still healing." replied Meredith.
The children nodded vigorously, smiles a mile wide on their faces. Jo placed a hand on each of their backs and led them through. As the door closed behind them, Alex fell in line with the other three, watching through the window at the reunited family. Upon entering the room, Jack rushed to his mother, Sara's arms flung out wide for him. Amy walked over to the other side of Ethan, Ethan holding up his arm, hand opened, with all his might. Amy placed her hand in her father's, smiling. As the family began talking, Jo quietly took the back corner near the door, hands in the pockets of her lab coat.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the glass, Meredith, Alex, Maggie, and Amelia all stood in a line watching the happy family. Maggie and Amelia had small smiles upon their faces. But all Meredith could think about was Derek, and how her family had now been broken. (But…,) Watching the smiles all around, tears began to fall, one-by-one. Before the others could notice, though, Meredith turned around and walked away from the glass, down the hall. No one uttered a word, for they knew why Meredith was upset.
After a few minutes of standing and staring, Alex looked over his shoulder towards the end of the hallway. He thought that Meredith would come back to the window. When she did not, Alex turned to face Maggie and Amelia and uttered, "I'll go see what's up."
He turned away from the window and walked down the hall. Noticing through the glass that Alex had left, Jo dug her hands deep as possible into her lab pockets, staring down at the floor. Meanwhile, Alex walked down the hallways, knowing exactly where Meredith would be. Coming to the end of a hallway, he took the stairs down to the basement. After a right turn and then a left turn, he came now to a familiar place that he had forgotten about: the tunnel. Passing the vending machines, he came to the end of the tunnel where the gurneys were and there saw Meredith standing, arms crossed, staring out the window at the nice, cool evening.
Quiet as ever, hands in pockets, Alex walked over and stood beside Meredith. For a few minutes, both of them simply looked out the window, remembering times from long ago. Alex shifted his feet a couple of times and then uttered, "Everything okay? You were staring quite a lot at the dad back there."
Meredith sighed. "I just wish Derek had made it. I wake up, on my couch, from a dream that Derek is sitting up in that bed, waiting for me. Ethan woke up, and he gets to see his wife again. Derek never got to see me. It just…hurts."
Meredith bowed her head to her chest, hiding the tears. (…in order to see the sun…) Alex continued to stare out the window. A minute passed, and Meredith felt an arm wrap around her shoulder, bringing her in. Meredith and Alex stood like that for what felt like forever, in a place filled with so many memories.
Breaking the long silence, Alex finally spoke, "What are going to do now? Are you going to sell the house?"
Meredith lifted her head, staring at the light that was reflected off the window. "I honestly don't know. A part of me wants to stay, and another part of me wants to leave."
Meredith leaned her head against Alex's shoulder. Alex knew that now was the time for just silence, simple silence.
The kids were in bed. Amelia was in the guest room. Meredith stood in front of the door that led to her and Derek's bedroom. She took a deep breath, not really wanting to go in but she knew that she had to try. She knew, for some inexplicable reason, that she had to try and sleep in their bedroom again. She reached for the doorknob and opened it. Stepping in, Meredith turned on the light and looked around. Her eyes once more fell upon the post-it above the bed. "This is forever." she heard Derek say in her mind. She moved her feet, against instinct, over to the bed. Meredith climbed in on her side, brought the covers up, and laid her head down on the pillow. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the drawing of the tumor above the dresser. Immediately, she turned back to look at the ceiling. (…and the horizon,)
"I can do this. I know I can do this." she thought.
She turned on her side and shut her eyes, hoping that she could get to sleep. But then, she caught a whiff of something. Meredith sniffed her nose and leaned over on the other side of the bed. She sniffed the pillow and immediately knew what it was: Derek. (…we must rise up from the ashes…,)
"That's it." she thought and jumped out of bed and left the room.
The doorbell rang. Alex could hear incessant knocking upon the door downstairs. Groaning, he climbed out bed, wearing pajama bottoms and a black wife-beater. He made his way downstairs and halfway on the staircase, he could see Meredith standing on the front porch, in front of the door. Extremely puzzled by this, and a whole lot pissed off, Alex trudged down the stairs and to the front door.
Finally there, he opened the door and said, "Mer, what the hell…"
"I want the house back." interjected Meredith. (…and move forward.")