This was what I wanted…what I was expecting when I made my choice. I wanted this.

The thoughts run in circles through my mind as I stares vacantly at the television perched in the corner of my room. I've been in the hospital so much recently but I refuse to take any comfort from the familiarity of this room.

Jacob comes through the door as silently as he ever has regardless of his age, his large hands curled around two cups of coffee. He wants to stay with me constantly but I am always sending him on errands, refusing to let him mope. Soon it'll be time for him to go pick up the kids from the airport. We have plenty of friends on the reservation who would be more than happy to pick them up but this is something that I'm insisting on. I don't want the kids to have to deal with too much at once. Having their father pick them up is a tiny way of ensuring that. They will learn the truth as soon as they see me.

I've lost so much weight and I'm even paler that normal. The last round of chemotherapy was rough on me and the doctors have restricted me to hospitalized bed rest. Jacob spends all of his time here, trusting the garage to Embry and leaving my supposedly temporary replacement chef running the restaurant for me.

He never talks much when he sits with me, he wants me to rest, but today there is something in his face that makes me sit up a little straighter against my pillows. "What is it Jacob?" My voice sounds rough to my ears and I'm surprised to realize that I haven't spoken in hours.

He hasn't phased in decades but the look on his face is the closest to the level of emotion that it used to take to catapult him into the wolf's form that I have seen from him in years. His deep eyes turn to meet mine and I can see his face relax as I reach over and hold his hand. His fingers squeeze and he puts his other hand into my graying hair.

"He's here." The statement is simple and yet I knows immediately who he means simply from his tone.

I can't help but put my hand on my husband's face, forcing him to keep eye contact with me. I know he can't phase anymore but I wouldn't put it past him to have started a fight in the hallway. "Jacob, what does he want?"

He looks uncomfortable and clears his throat. "What do you think he wants Bells?" His face can't help but transition into a smile as he looks at me, my feelings so obvious in my eyes.

He can see the sympathy in my eyes as I respond. "Would it be so bad to let him see me for a few minutes?" I am continuing my statement before he can even get his mouth open. "And you can walk him out on your way to pick up the kids." I'm not stupid enough to think that Jacob would leave me alone with Edward.

What Jacob still has trouble grasping is that it's been at least thirty years since I've wanted to be alone with anyone but him.

"It will be okay for him to just stay for a few minutes right? We can handle that." I'm trying to be encouraging because I know how Edward will respond if Jacob goes back out there and tries to force the perpetually seventeen year old vampire to leave the hospital. Jacob can only nod sullenly as he stands back up and leans down to kiss me before he leaves. I weave my fingers into the hair at the back of his neck, keeping him in the kiss, trying to communicate everything I felt to him. He pulled back gently and I could see that he understood. This wasn't about me. This was for Edward. And, oddly, for Jacob too.

He stood up and stepped outside the door for a moment, talking quietly with someone I couldn't see. Jacob was back in the seat next to my bed, leaving Edward to walk silently into the room. His eyes were the same golden tone I remembered and the shadows under his eyes were still there. He had changed his hairstyle and it occurred to me to wonder where the Cullens had moved after they left Forks. Jacob's hand was warm in mine and I smiled at him as Edward came closer to the bed.

Edward was staring at my face as if he had never seen me, which I suppose he hadn't. I was no longer the clumsy teenager he had known. I was a woman now, grey haired and wrinkled.

I struggled for a way to break the silence. So many questions would just seem cruel to ask of him since I obviously knew the answers. "How did you know?" I finally asked quietly.

He almost seemed to smile for a moment before glancing at Jacob. "Him. Once he stopped phasing Alice could see you again." Jacob tensed up as he realized what Edward was saying. Edward was quick to continue, "Only when we happened to be traveling near here. It's not like I was following you." This seemed to appease Jacob and I squeezed his hand, smiling.

Jacob spoke then, surprising me. "Is there anything…anyone can do? Your dad's a doctor..." His voice struggled to finish his question and tears pricked my eyes at the pain I could hear in him.

Edward turned his cool gaze to Jacob and sighed. "Alice and I have talked to Carlisle but he can't do anything that hasn't already been done and Alice cannot see a choice that will make a difference."

I spoke up, "It's really okay Jacob. I knew what I was getting into." I looked between the two of them. "I knew this was going to happen and I'm okay with it." Jacob choked and leaned out of his chair to wrap his arms around me, burying his face in my shoulder. My arms went around his back and I met Edward's eyes over Jacob's shoulder before closing my eyes and squeezing him.

Edward's face seemed frozen when I opened my eyes slowly, pressing a kiss to Jacob's cheek as he slowly sat back into his chair. I directed my gaze at Edward, trying to gauge his reaction to what I was going to say.

"Are you going to be okay?" I wasn't sure what I wanted him so say. I knew I didn't want him to go to Italy. I hoped he had moved on as surely as I had. But I had no way of knowing.

His face was unreadable as he stared at me but he finally nodded, glancing at Jacob who hadn't taken his eyes off of me. "You're not going to Italy?" I clarified. He nodded again solemnly.

"I got what I wanted, remember?" His voice was as smooth as always, soft and sad. "You lived."

"I lived very well." I clarified again, looking away from Edward to meet Jacob's eyes.

Neither of us noticed when he left the room.