The Trouble With Dancing
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. Just my imagination.
Summary: Ballet is hard.
So this was inspired by a video on youtube called "The Tragedy of First Position". You can look it up there or find it on my tumblr (). And I've been dancing for the past 16 years of my life, so this struck me.
He's awake uncharacteristically early for a Saturday. Usually he sleeps in. Well, that's not entirely true. Usually Kate just lets him sleep in. He's not really a morning person, despite how much he likes being the first one awake in the loft. He likes making big breakfasts for his girls, that's no secret.
But he also loves his lazy Saturdays.
It's one of those "rock and a hard place" issues.
For some reason though, this morning, he has the persistent urge to write. And it's no real structured idea, just random flashes of scenes that hit him in his dreams. Things he needs to get down before they're lost forever in the black hole of his subconscious.
He bonds with his laptop for a while. He knows that Kate woke up probably about half an hour ago, if it's seven thirty now - her ability to wake up with the sun to run of all things still amazes him – so he'll have a little alone time before she comes back and they have to get the day started.
The quiet, steady clicks of his fingers against the keys persist for a good ten minutes before he hears the sound of tiny feet shuffling against the wood floor of the living room. The door to his office is open, but she hasn't noticed him yet, too focused on her task.
She's adorable, in her little black tights with her little black leotard, and the little pink skirt Alexis made sure she owned. Anna's got one hand clinging tightly to the arm of the couch, the other sticking out at an odd angle, fingers twitching, as she stares down at her feet. Her tiny feet, in tiny little ballet shoes, sliding and slipping awkwardly as she tries to get them to do what she wants.
He can't resist grabbing his phone and snapping a picture of the little girl before quietly getting up and moving out into the living room.
Anna still doesn't seem to notice his presence, not until he squats down in front of her so they can see eye-to-eye.
"I think you're concentrating too hard, Sweetie."
"Daddy, it's not working." She whines at him. A determined, frustrated little voice. "I have to get it right. I have ballet today."
"Yes, I know." He smiles and brushes one of the dark waves from her face. "But it's only seven forty-five. Dance class isn't until ten thirty. Remember, what Mommy told you? When do you wake up on Saturdays?"
"When the little hand is on the nine, and the big one's on the twelve."
"Right," he rests a hand on her side, reveling in that she's still small enough for him to hold like this, "Mommy's not even back from her run yet. What do you say you and me go lay down for a little more before she comes home and wakes us up again?" He tries to sound excited, not very hard, because he's always loved cuddling with his girls, and always will. But the look on Anna's face is completely contradictory.
"No, Daddy! I have to practice!" She shrugs away his hand and goes back to her concentrated little wiggle. Her knees wobble in and out, her legs shift side to side, her loose arm waving around like a fish in rigor mortis.
"Okay," he acquiesces with a little smile, "what do you have to practice?"
She looks up at him with a look that she surely picked up from Kate, he thinks. One of her "are-you-an-idiot" looks. Classic Kate in his youngest daughter's dark eyes.
"I have to learn my positions, Daddy! Miss Jane said that it's the most important thing. And my feet don't work!" She frowns down at her feet, determined to get it right.
"Come on," he puts his hands under her armpits and swings her up to his hip. "I'll help you."
She giggles as he tickles her tummy, walking her into the kitchen. When he sets her down on her feet, on top of the island she puts her little hands on his cheeks, smushing them together. "Daddy, you can't!"
"And why not?" He retorts in a rather dramatic tone. "What's wrong with me?"
"You're a boy!" She stares down at him.
"So?"
"Boys don't dance!"
"Hey, little girl, I'll have you know that some of the most amazing dancers ever, have been boys."
"I don't believe you." She volleys back in that sassy 5 year-old voice, suggestive of how Alexis used to argue with him.
"It's true!"
"How do you know?"
"Well," he tilts his head, loving playing with her, "I used to watch all of Grams shows from backstage. So I got to see all of the dancers, and all of the singers. The girls and the boys."
"Really!" Her eyes light up at the thought. She's been idolizing his mother ever since what he called "the incident". Referring to the night six months ago when he and Kate went on a grown-ups only night and Martha babysat. There was a musical marathon, apparently. Judy to Barbra to a PBS special viewing of the original Cinderella with Julie Andrews. Johanna fell in love with all of it.
Hence, the dance classes she begged he and Kate to enroll her in.
"Can I go to one of Gram's shows? Please?"
"I'll talk to Mommy about it, and we'll see. Now," He ruffles her skirt, pink polyester floating up and down in front of his face. "What were you practicing?"
"First position."
"Mmm? And how did Miss Jane tell you to do it?" He talks her through it, just like he did with Alexis, just like he does with Kate. Challenging her, making her instruct him to force her to learn.
"She said to make my feet touch, first."
"Like this?" He holds her feet, so that there's about three inches of counter space between them.
"No!" She slides them back together under his grip, "They have to touch, Daddy! Like this."
"Oh, I see!" He takes the tiniest step back from the island, her hands resting on his shoulders. "Like this?" He looks down at his own feet, waiting for her answer when she peers over the edge of the countertop.
"Yeah. Then she said you have to make your toes look away from each other." She halts in her instruction and looks back to her feet with a frustrated sigh before looking back at him. "Daddy, I don't know how to do that. I tried and it didn't work."
"Well, let's see if we can do it together, huh? How about I do it first, then you try?" He watches her face as she thinks, she doesn't chew on her lip like her mother, but she does this cute little thing where she pokes her tongue out between her front teeth. She nods and looks down with him at his sock-clad feet. "Okay, let's try it."
Slowly he parts his right foot from his left, pointing the toes towards the stove.
She corrects him. "No, Daddy, your heels have to stay touching."
He jumps at her command, fixing his mistake. "This way?"
Anna nods, sending her untamed brown locks bouncing. "Now, do the other one."
"Which one?"
"The left one."
He does as she says, and in a second he's standing in his own first position. "Is that right?"
"Yeah! Now…now I try it?" She looks unsure as he smiles back at her. Her hands are still on his shoulders, gripping tighter now on his t-shirt. He simply nods at her.
"You try it. You can do it." He assures, but doesn't coddle, knowing it would completely backfire as it would with the girl's mother or sister.
Her tongue is sticking between her teeth again as she concentrates, both of them watching as she mirrors his movements. Her left foot turns first, pointing to the fridge, then her right slowly copies, pointing out towards the living room.
"I did it!" She cheers, "I made first position!"
"Yeah you did!" He leans in and kisses her nose, then bends to blow a raspberry in her neck, laughing when her arms fly up, clutching his head for security.
The front door clicks open and shut behind them, and he can hear Kate calling as she steps through to the kitchen. "What did you do?" She asks.
"Mommy! Look! Daddy knows ballet!" Anna bounces lightly on her toes, excited to tell her mother all about it.
"He does?" Kate asks in that teasing tone she knows he loves. She leans in for a soft good morning kiss as their little girl practices going from her newly-mastered first position to second.
"Yeah! He helped me make my first position! I wanna go show Miss Jane! Can we go now?" She looks so excited and proud, standing on top of the counter, beaming.
Kate and Rick both laugh at her adorableness. "No, Sweetheart. It's still too early." Kate reaches out to shift her skirt, impressed that her daughter was able to get the tights and leotard on properly by herself. "I have to shower, and we still have to have breakfast and brush our teeth, and then we can go to ballet class."
"Well, let's go now!" Anna tries to shimmy out of Kate's hold to climb off the counter.
"Hold on there, Twinkle Toes, let Daddy put you down."
Anna huffs at Kate's instruction, but let's her daddy pick her up and put her back down on the floor.
"Mommy, Daddy said I can go to one of Gram's shows to watch the dancers. 'Cause he said boys can be dancers but I didn't believe him, and he said there are boy dancers in Gram's show."
Kate cocks her head, as she cards her fingers through her daughter's hair, gently brushing out the tangles of her bed-head. "Did he now?"
Rick looks at her with a guilty smile, nervous of her reaction. "Yeah," his voice trails off at the end. "But, we could take her to something more age-appropriate. It'll be good for her. Maybe The Lion King or Mary Poppins. Something she'll really enjoy but still get something out of." He feels a little guilty for making their daughter a promise without her, but when her face cracks into a smile the feeling fades.
"I think that's a great idea, Rick." She takes a moment to pause, watching as Anna skips back into the living room to practice her rights-and-lefts dance. Thankfully, they don't have the horridly catchy music that the dance teacher plays for it. "We can make a night of it. Let her get dressed up, take her to the theatre for the first time," she steps into his space and wraps her arms around his waist, "I'm sure Alexis would love to come home for a weekend to join us."
Warmth spreads through him at the sound of her voice. He loves when they have family time. "Maybe your dad and Mother would want to come, too. We'll even get cupcakes after the show."
"Sounds like a date, Mr. Castle."
"I'll buy the tickets this weekend." He presses a kiss to her forehead before she moves and heads to the living room.
"Check the dates with Alexis first."
"Yes, dear." He calls after her, knowing full well that she hates the moniker. She thinks it makes her sound like a fifties housewife.
Before she can comment Anna's tiny, demanding voice pipes up. "Mommy! Hurry up and shower! I want to go to ballet and you're still smelly!"
"Oh, I am?" She bends down and scoops the little girl up, despite the many protests. "Come on, little girl. We'll get cleaned up together. Then we'll find your new leotard while Daddy makes breakfast. Then we'll go to dance class."
"Promise?" Rick watches from the kitchen as Anna leans in, pressing her forehead against Kate's.
"I promise," Kate kisses her cheek as she carries Anna towards their bedroom.
"Then when we come home? Can I show you my tap dancing?" Her little voice sounds so hopeful and excited.
"Yeah, Anna," Kate laughs, tossing a smile over her shoulder to Rick, "then you can show me your tap dancing."
First things first, I have NEVER written anything like this before. I have NEVER tried writing Castle and Beckett with a kid, so I really don't know how to explain this. I actually debated for a while on if I was even going to.
Moving on!
Yes, I based Anna's dance teacher on mine (mine's also Miss Jane), as well as the convictions I had about being determined to practice when I was five. She also really did use the phrase of 'a fish in rigor mortis', as well as many colorful variations on that.
Also, yes, when I teach the little ones we teach a rights and lefts dance called "working my way up" and it has music so catchy it should be illegal. No lie.
Loved it? Hated it? Let me know!
Tappin
=)