"There's an urgent mission we'll be going on this morning. We're waiting for Amethyst, we were supposed to leave two minutes ago!" She says exasperatedly. Steven smiles. At that exact moment Amethyst walks in the door.
"Yo." She greets, walking towards the fridge.
"Where have you been? Have you forgotten today's assignment? Garnet will arrive any minute and you've been out all morning!" Pearl snaps, receiving a shrug from the purple gem, head removing itself from the fridge, sandwich in mouth.
"Chill, P. I'm here on time," she says around the food. Pearl huffs and is about to go off to find Garnet when the warp activates.
"Gems." Says the newly arrived Garnet. "Come on. We're running late." Pearl and Amethyst quickly join her, and Garnet motions for Steven to come too.
"Woo hoo!" Steven shouts, running over. Pearl shoots a look of concern to the tallest gem who puts a hand on her shoulder.
"It's important that Steven comes on this mission. Trust me, Pearl."
The warp activates again, sending the four of them to a jungle full of oddly colored leaves. The sun is blotted out above them, but for some reason it's perfectly light under the canopy. Steven runs around the warp, eyes starry, mouth agape. "Woahhh!"
"This way," says Garnet, walking into the dense foliage. They follow, Steven a few feet behind them. The trees open into a large clearing, the grassy floor transitioning to a slightly higher stone one. Garnet stops before crossing the border, and turns to Steven.
"I need the thing in your left pocket." She says, bending down and holding out her gloved hand. Steven rummages in his pocket and pulls out a crumpled receipt from The Big Donut. Garnet picks up the paper and closes her fist. "Steven. This is the temple of memory. Every year we must sacrifice a memory to it in order for this sanctuary to stay afloat. Would you be okay sharing the memory of this with the island?"
Stevens eyes light up and he nods enthusiastically. Garnet nods back and stands. She and Pearl walk onto the platform and Steven runs to follow, but trips.
"Hey there little man!" Amethyst says, catching Steven before he falls. "We can't go on there."
"Why not?" Steven whines. Amethyst smiles, then ruffles his hair playfully.
"The big bad memory monster will eat you!" She says in a mysterious, loud voice, tickling him. Steven laughs.
Suddenly, a loud rumbling came from within the island, smoke rising from a hole in the center of the platform. Pearl came walking back towards them through it. "Pearl!" Steven yells. She looks over at him, but then gets swallowed by the cloud. A shout comes from it and suddenly Garnet bursts forth, landing beside them.
"Stand back. We were a bit late." The smoke continues to rise but doesn't touch them. In a few minutes it clears and the platform is back to its tranquil state. "Not too late, however."
"Hey Garnet, where's Pearl?" Steven says, looking up worriedly. The gem opens her hand, with now holds a small oval Pearl. Steven gasps "What happened?"
"She... Got distracted. Only I can breathe that smoke. Pearl was reckless coming out there with me, and she knew it." Garnet sighs. "Let's get back to the warp."
Steven lags behind the others again as they walk back, but for a different reason. He frowned, his eyes watering slightly, recalling what Garnet had said. Pearl had gotten distracted by him. He knew it was his fault, and it stung.
'Why are you so useless?' He thought to himself. 'No wonder they don't like you. It's not just because you killed Rose.'
Steven lay awake that night, unable to sleep. Thoughts race through his mind, some of which he cringe at, others he takes with grim silence.
Suddenly he recalls a conversation he'd overheard at The Big Donut the other day, the one that went along with that receipt.
He'd been getting a snack, sitting at one of the tables to eat to pass the time. The gems had been out like usual, so he had nothing else to do. Sadie had been at the register since he'd gotten there, and she looked annoyed. She went into the back and a moment later Steven heard arguing. That was common between Lars and Sadie, the only two workers there, and he idly listened in.
"...I can't believe you, Lars! You keep doing this to yourself! Have you ever thought about what might happen to you if you mess up? What would happen to me?"
"Don't make this about you! This isn't your problem, just leave me alone!"
"Isn't my problem? Lars, I'll make it my problem if you don't do something. Have you tried talking to someone? It's normal to feel this way, to-"
"To cut myself?! It's normal? Is it also normal to hate myself so much? Huh?! If I told anyone about this they'd put me in a mental hospital, Sadie!"
"No, Lars, calm down. No one would do that. I just want to help, I..."
"I might even belong in one, too..."
"Lars!" Sadie shouted as the male burst from the back room. He didn't even look at Steven, pulling his sleeves down and pushing through the front door. Sadie had come out a moment later, wiping her eyes.
Steven wondered. What was cutting? Did it actually involve hurting yourself? On your arms? He shivers thinking about it. Steven had never loved sharp things like that. What did you even use to do it? Your nails?
He finds himself suddenly digging his nails into his skin. It doesn't really hurt he notices, but it doesn't break the skin either. 'You want to do it.' He thinks. 'You deserve it. You deserve the pain.'
Steven gets out of bed and climbs quietly down the stairs into the kitchen where all the knives are. Pulling one out he bites his lip. He can't do it with something like that. He quietly puts the knife back and returns to his bedroom.
What is sharp? He looks around his cluttered room for answers. Not his toys, or his books or games... Suddenly something gleaming on his nightstand catches his eye. It's a pencil sharpener, and he notices for the first time the small razor blade held within it.