Title: Five Years and One Hug: An Anniversary Story
Author: Bastard Snow
Rating: PG
A/N: The big changes: Joyce didn't die. Buffy didn't die. She saved Dawn somehow. Don't care how. Sunnydale didn't collapse, and Xander never lost his eye. There are a couple other changes, but I'll cover them in the story.
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING.
Feedback would be much appreciated.
Dedicated to all the people at BX_Fanfic! You guys rock!
_______________________________
11:43 am
Feb. 20, 2006
Sunnydale, CA
The apartment of Buffy and Xander Harris
--------
"Go 'way," Xander muttered into his pillow. "'m sleeping."
"Xander, wake up," Buffy said, gently rocking her husband in their bed.
"'s too early," he said, attempting to bury his head even farther into the pillow.
"Sweetie, it's almost noon," Buffy said.
Xander was suddenly wide awake and sitting up. "Damn," he said, looking at his bedside clock. "I could have sworn I set the alarm. How come you didn't wake me up, Buff? I'm like three hours late for work."
"No you're not," his wife said, smiling at him proudly. "I called you in sick. You're in no condition to work today."
"Baby, you know I have staff meetings on Mondays," he said. "I can't miss those."
"Well, today you can," she said, firmly. "And you already did, and you're not going in."
"Why today? Did you turn off the alarm?"
"Yes," she said. "I did. Xan, do you know what today is?"
Xander paused, hoping he hadn't forgotten any important dates. 'Monday. . . February. . . nothing,' he thought.
"I have no idea," Xander said, truthfully.
Buffy pulled her husband into a passionate kiss. "Today is five years since everything changed," she whispered to him.
Xander looked deep into his wife's eyes. "Okay," he said. "I know our first date. . . I know our first kiss. . . "
"Which is easy, because that's the same day," Buffy reminded him.
"I know the first time you said you loved me, and the day I said the same. I know the first time we made love, I know when I proposed to you, I know when we got married. I know your birthday, I'm fairly certain I know mine, too," Xander said, shaking his head. "None of those are today."
Buffy smiled at him. "Get dressed," she said. "We have a busy day ahead of us."
"Do I get a hint?" he asked, curious.
"No," she said, kissing him softly. "Go. Change."
"Where are we going?" he asked.
"Places. Xander, go," she said.
"All right, all right. I'm going."
* * * * *
Thirty minutes later, Slayer and husband were out the door and into their car, with Xander behind the wheel.
"Okay. Where are we off to?" Xander asked, having accepted that his wife had something planned and wasn't sharing.
"High school," Buffy said, turning on the radio.
Xander nodded once and put the car in motion. "This isn't something Hellmouthy, is it?" Xander asked. "I mean, we're not going to have to fight anything?"
"No," Buffy said, smiling lovingly at the man next to her. "Everything is going to be fine today. Trust me."
Xander turned to her and smiled. "I always do," he said sincerely.
"And you're about to run that stop sign," Buffy said, nodding toward the road.
Xander whipped his head around as he slammed on his brakes, coming to a stop about ¾ of the way into the intersection. "Eh," he said. "I can afford to drive like you once in a while."
Buffy stuck her tongue out at him as he moved on through the stop sign. Five minutes later he pulled up to the high school and followed Buffy inside. And through the halls filled with students. And some more halls, also filled with students. And then outside again, into a courtyard, from which the student population was largely absent, due to the February weather.
"You know where this is?" Buffy asked.
"Uh. . . " Xander racked his brain.
"Think of where it would be in the old high school. The pre-graduation one."
Xander looked around, noting certain points on the new building and relating them to points on the old one. "Oh," he said, still looking around. "This is where I asked you out."
Buffy nodded and gave him a kiss. "This is the spot where I could have saved myself years of heartbreak and torment, if I'd just changed two little words."
"Baby. . . " Xander started.
"It's true," she said. "This is where I rejected you, when the truth is you're the one I should have been with all along."
"Well, that may be true," Xander said. "But we were just kids, then. I mean. . . how were we supposed to know?"
"You knew," Buffy said.
"No, I guessed," he said, shrugging. "I mean, it was a really good guess, but a guess."
"Well, I still regret it," Buffy said.
"Don't," said Xander, wrapping his wife in his arms. "Everything we went through made us who we are, even the rejection. I don't know if it would really have worked when we were that young."
"I think it would have," Buffy said. "You bring out the best in me, you always have. I think we would have done fine. And so do you."
"Yeah," he said. "I do. But you can't ever know."
Buffy leaned back into his arms, savoring the warmth and love emanating from his body. She pulled his gloved hand up to her lips and kissed the back of it softly. "Come on," she said. "We have another place to visit here."
* * * * *
"Okay," Xander said. "You're either trying to get us lost, or we're down here so you can murder me bloodily where nobody will find my body for years."
Buffy smiled at him. "None of the above. This is another place you should know, even if the rest of us shouldn't."
Xander looked around, seeing the basement of the new school.
"No," he said. "I'm drawin' a blank."
"And what if I said 'zombie gang.'"
Xander opened his mouth, but was speechless.
"Well?" Buffy asked, leaning into Xander's shoulder.
"How did you. . . I mean, I never. . . "
"I'm the Slayer," Buffy said, simply. "Demons tell me things so I won't kill them quite as horribly." She smirked. "Or, well, they tell me so I won't kill them, but that never works. Baby, how come you never told anybody?"
Xander shrugged. "I don't know. It just. . . I mean, I wasn't exactly the only person out that night. You guys killed that big. . . thing. With the eye stalks. I just didn't figure it to be. . . I don't know."
Buffy looked up at him. "You know you saved the world that night? That bomb would have blown us all up, and the Hellmouth would have stayed open."
Xander nodded, silent.
"You do that a lot, don't you?" Buffy asked.
"Do what?" Xander asked, confused.
"Downplay the things you do. How important you are. How much of a difference you make. You know there used to be times when I thought that the most you could contribute was a joke here and there, keep the tension a little lighter. But that's never been true. You've always been capable of so much more, and you've always done the best you could, no matter whether we knew it or not. And you didn't care about the recognition, you just cared that it got done."
Xander looked down at the small woman in front of him. The woman he had pledged his life to long before they got married, who was now looking up at him in awe.
"You don't have to say anything," Buffy said. "Just know that I know."
Xander nodded, and followed his wife out of the school basement.
* * * * *
"Okay," Xander said, confused. "It's the Bronze."
"Yeah," Buffy said. "It is. Any idea why we're here?"
"To dance?"
Buffy smiled. "No," she said. "But. . . a dance is why we're here."
Xander raised one eyebrow. "Uh. . . okay. You know I still have no idea what today is?"
"I know, sweetie. It's okay. It wasn't. . . well, you'll see."
Xander nodded. Buffy took Xander out to the middle of the empty dance floor and wrapped her arms around him, savoring the sensation of being so close to the man she loved.
"This is one of the things I regret most," she said.
"Dancing?" Xander asked.
Buffy looked up into his eyes. "Did I ever thank you for saving my life?"
Recognition flashed across Xander's eyes. "Baby, that was almost ten years ago. You can't possibly still feel bad about that."
"I do, though," she said. "I took advantage of your feelings for me, to make Angel jealous."
"Yeah," Xander said. "But, Buff, it was so long ago. I never even think about it. Never. And besides, Angel?" Xander shook his head. "I got the girl."
Buffy leaned up and kissed her husband. "Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?"
"I think I have an idea," Xander said. "After all. . . you said 'yes.'"
"Best decision I ever made," Buffy said.
"So, today's a tour of regrets?" Xander asked.
"No," Buffy said. "Not entirely. Some, yes. But today is a good day, it's a day to clear things out."
"Airing regrets, then?" Xander asked, still unsure about what today was. "Is this something I should be doing too?"
Buffy just smiled at him, wrapped her smaller hand in his large one and led him out of the Bronze.
"Come on," she said, ignoring his question. "We're not done yet."
As they got back in the car, Xander asked, "Where to now?"
"Crawford Street," Buffy said.
"The mansion?"
"Close. But no. Drive, I'll tell you where to stop."
Xander felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, but nodded and drove off.
* * * * *
He was right. They were standing together, holding hands, in pretty much the exact spot they had years ago.
"You remember this?" Buffy asked. Xander nodded.
"It's where I found you, on your way to kill Angelus," he said. Buffy nodded.
"It's where you lied to me."
"Yeah."
"Kick his ass."
"Yeah."
"Are you sorry?"
Xander took a deep breath. "No," he said. Buffy nodded. Xander waited for the hammer to drop. It never happened.
"Good," Buffy said. Xander looked at her, surprised, and looking for any traces of anger. He found none.
"How long?" he asked.
"About four years," she said. "Willow told me about the spell one night. It kind of clicked."
Xander chuckled. "And you still agreed to go out with me?"
"Well, both me and Willow were pretty mad at you. For a day or so, until I brought it up with Giles."
"Yeah?" he asked.
Buffy nodded and shivered a little in the cold air. "Giles explained some things. . . made me think about some things. . . reminded me of some things. It all made sense. I wasn't happy. . . but I understood."
Xander nodded, wrapping his arm around Buffy's shoulders, lending her some of his warmth.
"It's like you said," Buffy continued. "The things we did made us the people we are."
"Is that what today is?" Xander asked. "Going back over the big events that made us what we are?"
"That's a lot of it," Buffy said. "But there's something more important. Something specific."
"Am I supposed to know this one?" Xander asked. "Because I have to admit, I'm coming up blank."
Buffy shook her head as Xander stepped behind her. "This day is one of my things. That's okay with you, right? I mean, doing this?"
Xander wrapped his arms around her much smaller form and leaned in, his lips near her ears. "I'll follow you anywhere," he said. "You know that."
Buffy turned around in his arms and pressed herself into his chest. "I couldn't do what I do without you," she said.
"Well, yeah," Xander said. "On what you make, you'd starve."
"Xander, quit," she said. "I'm serious. Don't put yourself down. You are so important to me. To all of us. Don't do that. Not today."
Xander looked down into her eyes and saw she was serious. "Okay," he said. "I won't. Today."
Buffy nodded into his chest, and kissed it through his shirt. "Come on," she said, leading him back to their car. "We're going to the hospital."
Xander had no idea where this one was headed, but drove anyway, trusting that his wife had a plan. After all, nobody they knew had been in the hospital for more than a week.
* * * * *
The hospital hadn't changed much, and certain things remain etched in your memory forever. No matter how long ago they happened.
"Angel told me," Buffy said, sitting on a bench in the hallway. "I guess. . . three, maybe four months after we started seeing each other."
Xander sat there, having replayed the scene in his head.
"You stood up to Angelus," Buffy said. "With no weapons, no crosses. . . nothing more than your courage."
"And about a half a pot of coffee," Xander said. "Otherwise I would have been asleep and you would be either dead or a vampire. Let us thank the wonderful people at Taster's Choice."
Buffy smiled at him. "Another time you saved my life, and didn't say anything."
Xander shrugged. "I guess I didn't think I should try to get credit just for doing what's right," he said. "Anybody would have done the same thing."
Buffy shook her head. "Lesser men would have run," she said. "Not you, though. You're always there when I need you, even if I don't know it. Why is that?"
"What do you want, Buff?" he asked. "I don't know why."
"You don't have to know, baby," she said. "This isn't just for your benefit, you know. Some of this is me coming to terms with my misspent youth. And as for what I want, I just want you."
"Well, you've got me," he said. "Until I die, or you find someone better."
"Nobody better to find," she said. "And the line is from 'Starship Troopers.' I can't believe you made me watch that crap."
"Hey, that movie is a classic," Xander said.
"A classic in what sense?" Buffy asked.
"In the sense that it's so bad, it's great!" Xander said.
Buffy shook her head. "You're crazy," she said.
"Yeah," he replied. "And you love me for it."
"That, and so much more," she said, kissing him and grabbing his hand.
"Come on," she said. "One more stop."
* * * * *
"Didn't Willow and Tara ban us from being back here alone together," Xander asked as they entered the Magic Box's training room from the back.
"Well, Giles never did," Buffy said. "And he's the one who actually owns the place."
"But Wills is the one who yells at us," he said. Xander looked around the room. "Okay. I give up. Why are we here?"
"Because this is where everything changed. Five years ago today, at about this time in the afternoon, everything changed."
Xander was confused. "Everything being. . . "
"Me," she said.
"Oh, I see," he said, grinning. "This was all a big ego trip to get me to call you my everything. Well, no qualms there. Baby, you -"
"Xander, as sweet as that is, shut up."
"Okay."
Buffy took a deep breath. "Five years ago, you were still dating Anya."
"Barely," he said. "I mean, we knew we weren't right together, but neither of us had the stones to break it off for a while."
"I know," she said. "I remember."
Buffy paused, and led Xander to what, to her, was a specific spot. Xander couldn't think of anything special about it.
"It's funny, the things you remember," she said. "Before we started dating, I never really paid attention to what you said. I mean, I would know what you told me, but not your actual words."
"Okay," Xander said, not knowing what she was leading to.
"There are really only two times I remember what you said. The first was at the Bronze, after you got back from your road trip. Do you remember what you said?"
Xander nodded. "I called you my hero," he said. "It was true then, and it's still true now. You keep the darkness away."
Buffy nodded. "The other time was five years ago today. The day everything changed," she said. "The day I knew I had to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Really?" he asked.
Buffy nodded and pushed him away from her about a foot. "I was standing about here, and you were there, and I had just finished beating the crap out of you in the Puffy-Xander suit."
A memory started to pull itself to the surface in Xander's head.
"Riley had just left, and Spike was in love with me." They both involuntarily shuddered. "Anyway, I had this big self doubt thing going on, and then. . . "
--------
{Flashback}
"The problem is not you. Don't do this to yourself, please," Xander said, standing in front of Buffy in the Puffy-Xander suit.
Buffy's arms dropped to her side. "It's just ... I just wanna know that there's gonna be another good one. One that I won't chase away."
"There will be," Xander said. "Promise. He's out there, he could come along any minute."
"Yeah, and the minute after that I can terrify him with my alarming strength and remarkable self-involvement."
"What?" Xander asked. "I don't think you're like that."
"Maybe I could change," Buffy said, walking back and forth. "You know, I could, I could work harder. I could spend less time slaying, I could laugh at his jokes, I mean, men like that, right, the, the joke-laughing-at?"
"Or maybe you could just be Buffy, he'll see your amazing heart, and fall in love with you."
Buffy looked at Xander, intensely affected by his words, her eyes watering a little.
"Xander, that's. . . aww," she said, wrapping her arms as far around his puffy suit as they would go, and resting her head against his chest.
Xander shook his head. "This is the day you choose to hug me?"
{End Flashback}
--------
Xander was grinning, as Buffy finished her narrative in his arms. "Your hugs are much better when I can actually feel you," he said.
"You've got a good point," she said, snuggling in to his chest. "It's better for me, too, this way."
"So, you really knew then that I was the one?" he asked.
Buffy nodded. "It just clicked in my head. It was like 'Oh. Right. I'm in love with Xander.' And was then followed by much jealousy of Anya and scheming with Willow, who knew you and Anya were having problems."
Xander chuckled. "You were jealous of Anya," he said, laughing.
"Yeah. Why?"
"She was always afraid that you would come swooping in one day and steal me. I never could convince her that I was over you, and eventually I stopped trying."
"You were over me?" Buffy asked.
"For a time," he said. "But you might be surprised how quickly feelings return, given half a chance."
"Well it's a damn good thing they did," she said. Buffy leaned up and kissed him forcefully, which he returned with equal vigor. Their kiss intensified and the couple stumbled across the room, landing, with what some might call a practiced ease, on the couch.
* * * * *
"Don't go back there," Willow said, when she saw her lover moving back towards the training room.
"But I thought I heard -" Tara started.
"Don't go back there," Willow repeated. "Buffy had something planned for today, and their car is out front."
Tara stopped in her tracks. "Didn't we ban them from going back there?" she asked.
"Today's five years from the day Buffy fell in love with Xander," Willow said, taking Tara's hand in her own. "I made a one time exception. That's probably going to come back to haunt us."
"So, any babies that end up being named 'magic' are purely your fault?" Tara asked, smiling.
"Oh, Goddess," Willow said. "They'd do that, too."
"Well, they're in love," Tara said. "And that kind of passion is kind of rare."
Willow smiled. "They're no match for us," she said, as a crash came out from the back room. "Still," she said, opening a spell book, "I think we need to look into soundproofing."
----------
The End.
Author: Bastard Snow
Rating: PG
A/N: The big changes: Joyce didn't die. Buffy didn't die. She saved Dawn somehow. Don't care how. Sunnydale didn't collapse, and Xander never lost his eye. There are a couple other changes, but I'll cover them in the story.
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING.
Feedback would be much appreciated.
Dedicated to all the people at BX_Fanfic! You guys rock!
_______________________________
11:43 am
Feb. 20, 2006
Sunnydale, CA
The apartment of Buffy and Xander Harris
--------
"Go 'way," Xander muttered into his pillow. "'m sleeping."
"Xander, wake up," Buffy said, gently rocking her husband in their bed.
"'s too early," he said, attempting to bury his head even farther into the pillow.
"Sweetie, it's almost noon," Buffy said.
Xander was suddenly wide awake and sitting up. "Damn," he said, looking at his bedside clock. "I could have sworn I set the alarm. How come you didn't wake me up, Buff? I'm like three hours late for work."
"No you're not," his wife said, smiling at him proudly. "I called you in sick. You're in no condition to work today."
"Baby, you know I have staff meetings on Mondays," he said. "I can't miss those."
"Well, today you can," she said, firmly. "And you already did, and you're not going in."
"Why today? Did you turn off the alarm?"
"Yes," she said. "I did. Xan, do you know what today is?"
Xander paused, hoping he hadn't forgotten any important dates. 'Monday. . . February. . . nothing,' he thought.
"I have no idea," Xander said, truthfully.
Buffy pulled her husband into a passionate kiss. "Today is five years since everything changed," she whispered to him.
Xander looked deep into his wife's eyes. "Okay," he said. "I know our first date. . . I know our first kiss. . . "
"Which is easy, because that's the same day," Buffy reminded him.
"I know the first time you said you loved me, and the day I said the same. I know the first time we made love, I know when I proposed to you, I know when we got married. I know your birthday, I'm fairly certain I know mine, too," Xander said, shaking his head. "None of those are today."
Buffy smiled at him. "Get dressed," she said. "We have a busy day ahead of us."
"Do I get a hint?" he asked, curious.
"No," she said, kissing him softly. "Go. Change."
"Where are we going?" he asked.
"Places. Xander, go," she said.
"All right, all right. I'm going."
* * * * *
Thirty minutes later, Slayer and husband were out the door and into their car, with Xander behind the wheel.
"Okay. Where are we off to?" Xander asked, having accepted that his wife had something planned and wasn't sharing.
"High school," Buffy said, turning on the radio.
Xander nodded once and put the car in motion. "This isn't something Hellmouthy, is it?" Xander asked. "I mean, we're not going to have to fight anything?"
"No," Buffy said, smiling lovingly at the man next to her. "Everything is going to be fine today. Trust me."
Xander turned to her and smiled. "I always do," he said sincerely.
"And you're about to run that stop sign," Buffy said, nodding toward the road.
Xander whipped his head around as he slammed on his brakes, coming to a stop about ¾ of the way into the intersection. "Eh," he said. "I can afford to drive like you once in a while."
Buffy stuck her tongue out at him as he moved on through the stop sign. Five minutes later he pulled up to the high school and followed Buffy inside. And through the halls filled with students. And some more halls, also filled with students. And then outside again, into a courtyard, from which the student population was largely absent, due to the February weather.
"You know where this is?" Buffy asked.
"Uh. . . " Xander racked his brain.
"Think of where it would be in the old high school. The pre-graduation one."
Xander looked around, noting certain points on the new building and relating them to points on the old one. "Oh," he said, still looking around. "This is where I asked you out."
Buffy nodded and gave him a kiss. "This is the spot where I could have saved myself years of heartbreak and torment, if I'd just changed two little words."
"Baby. . . " Xander started.
"It's true," she said. "This is where I rejected you, when the truth is you're the one I should have been with all along."
"Well, that may be true," Xander said. "But we were just kids, then. I mean. . . how were we supposed to know?"
"You knew," Buffy said.
"No, I guessed," he said, shrugging. "I mean, it was a really good guess, but a guess."
"Well, I still regret it," Buffy said.
"Don't," said Xander, wrapping his wife in his arms. "Everything we went through made us who we are, even the rejection. I don't know if it would really have worked when we were that young."
"I think it would have," Buffy said. "You bring out the best in me, you always have. I think we would have done fine. And so do you."
"Yeah," he said. "I do. But you can't ever know."
Buffy leaned back into his arms, savoring the warmth and love emanating from his body. She pulled his gloved hand up to her lips and kissed the back of it softly. "Come on," she said. "We have another place to visit here."
* * * * *
"Okay," Xander said. "You're either trying to get us lost, or we're down here so you can murder me bloodily where nobody will find my body for years."
Buffy smiled at him. "None of the above. This is another place you should know, even if the rest of us shouldn't."
Xander looked around, seeing the basement of the new school.
"No," he said. "I'm drawin' a blank."
"And what if I said 'zombie gang.'"
Xander opened his mouth, but was speechless.
"Well?" Buffy asked, leaning into Xander's shoulder.
"How did you. . . I mean, I never. . . "
"I'm the Slayer," Buffy said, simply. "Demons tell me things so I won't kill them quite as horribly." She smirked. "Or, well, they tell me so I won't kill them, but that never works. Baby, how come you never told anybody?"
Xander shrugged. "I don't know. It just. . . I mean, I wasn't exactly the only person out that night. You guys killed that big. . . thing. With the eye stalks. I just didn't figure it to be. . . I don't know."
Buffy looked up at him. "You know you saved the world that night? That bomb would have blown us all up, and the Hellmouth would have stayed open."
Xander nodded, silent.
"You do that a lot, don't you?" Buffy asked.
"Do what?" Xander asked, confused.
"Downplay the things you do. How important you are. How much of a difference you make. You know there used to be times when I thought that the most you could contribute was a joke here and there, keep the tension a little lighter. But that's never been true. You've always been capable of so much more, and you've always done the best you could, no matter whether we knew it or not. And you didn't care about the recognition, you just cared that it got done."
Xander looked down at the small woman in front of him. The woman he had pledged his life to long before they got married, who was now looking up at him in awe.
"You don't have to say anything," Buffy said. "Just know that I know."
Xander nodded, and followed his wife out of the school basement.
* * * * *
"Okay," Xander said, confused. "It's the Bronze."
"Yeah," Buffy said. "It is. Any idea why we're here?"
"To dance?"
Buffy smiled. "No," she said. "But. . . a dance is why we're here."
Xander raised one eyebrow. "Uh. . . okay. You know I still have no idea what today is?"
"I know, sweetie. It's okay. It wasn't. . . well, you'll see."
Xander nodded. Buffy took Xander out to the middle of the empty dance floor and wrapped her arms around him, savoring the sensation of being so close to the man she loved.
"This is one of the things I regret most," she said.
"Dancing?" Xander asked.
Buffy looked up into his eyes. "Did I ever thank you for saving my life?"
Recognition flashed across Xander's eyes. "Baby, that was almost ten years ago. You can't possibly still feel bad about that."
"I do, though," she said. "I took advantage of your feelings for me, to make Angel jealous."
"Yeah," Xander said. "But, Buff, it was so long ago. I never even think about it. Never. And besides, Angel?" Xander shook his head. "I got the girl."
Buffy leaned up and kissed her husband. "Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?"
"I think I have an idea," Xander said. "After all. . . you said 'yes.'"
"Best decision I ever made," Buffy said.
"So, today's a tour of regrets?" Xander asked.
"No," Buffy said. "Not entirely. Some, yes. But today is a good day, it's a day to clear things out."
"Airing regrets, then?" Xander asked, still unsure about what today was. "Is this something I should be doing too?"
Buffy just smiled at him, wrapped her smaller hand in his large one and led him out of the Bronze.
"Come on," she said, ignoring his question. "We're not done yet."
As they got back in the car, Xander asked, "Where to now?"
"Crawford Street," Buffy said.
"The mansion?"
"Close. But no. Drive, I'll tell you where to stop."
Xander felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, but nodded and drove off.
* * * * *
He was right. They were standing together, holding hands, in pretty much the exact spot they had years ago.
"You remember this?" Buffy asked. Xander nodded.
"It's where I found you, on your way to kill Angelus," he said. Buffy nodded.
"It's where you lied to me."
"Yeah."
"Kick his ass."
"Yeah."
"Are you sorry?"
Xander took a deep breath. "No," he said. Buffy nodded. Xander waited for the hammer to drop. It never happened.
"Good," Buffy said. Xander looked at her, surprised, and looking for any traces of anger. He found none.
"How long?" he asked.
"About four years," she said. "Willow told me about the spell one night. It kind of clicked."
Xander chuckled. "And you still agreed to go out with me?"
"Well, both me and Willow were pretty mad at you. For a day or so, until I brought it up with Giles."
"Yeah?" he asked.
Buffy nodded and shivered a little in the cold air. "Giles explained some things. . . made me think about some things. . . reminded me of some things. It all made sense. I wasn't happy. . . but I understood."
Xander nodded, wrapping his arm around Buffy's shoulders, lending her some of his warmth.
"It's like you said," Buffy continued. "The things we did made us the people we are."
"Is that what today is?" Xander asked. "Going back over the big events that made us what we are?"
"That's a lot of it," Buffy said. "But there's something more important. Something specific."
"Am I supposed to know this one?" Xander asked. "Because I have to admit, I'm coming up blank."
Buffy shook her head as Xander stepped behind her. "This day is one of my things. That's okay with you, right? I mean, doing this?"
Xander wrapped his arms around her much smaller form and leaned in, his lips near her ears. "I'll follow you anywhere," he said. "You know that."
Buffy turned around in his arms and pressed herself into his chest. "I couldn't do what I do without you," she said.
"Well, yeah," Xander said. "On what you make, you'd starve."
"Xander, quit," she said. "I'm serious. Don't put yourself down. You are so important to me. To all of us. Don't do that. Not today."
Xander looked down into her eyes and saw she was serious. "Okay," he said. "I won't. Today."
Buffy nodded into his chest, and kissed it through his shirt. "Come on," she said, leading him back to their car. "We're going to the hospital."
Xander had no idea where this one was headed, but drove anyway, trusting that his wife had a plan. After all, nobody they knew had been in the hospital for more than a week.
* * * * *
The hospital hadn't changed much, and certain things remain etched in your memory forever. No matter how long ago they happened.
"Angel told me," Buffy said, sitting on a bench in the hallway. "I guess. . . three, maybe four months after we started seeing each other."
Xander sat there, having replayed the scene in his head.
"You stood up to Angelus," Buffy said. "With no weapons, no crosses. . . nothing more than your courage."
"And about a half a pot of coffee," Xander said. "Otherwise I would have been asleep and you would be either dead or a vampire. Let us thank the wonderful people at Taster's Choice."
Buffy smiled at him. "Another time you saved my life, and didn't say anything."
Xander shrugged. "I guess I didn't think I should try to get credit just for doing what's right," he said. "Anybody would have done the same thing."
Buffy shook her head. "Lesser men would have run," she said. "Not you, though. You're always there when I need you, even if I don't know it. Why is that?"
"What do you want, Buff?" he asked. "I don't know why."
"You don't have to know, baby," she said. "This isn't just for your benefit, you know. Some of this is me coming to terms with my misspent youth. And as for what I want, I just want you."
"Well, you've got me," he said. "Until I die, or you find someone better."
"Nobody better to find," she said. "And the line is from 'Starship Troopers.' I can't believe you made me watch that crap."
"Hey, that movie is a classic," Xander said.
"A classic in what sense?" Buffy asked.
"In the sense that it's so bad, it's great!" Xander said.
Buffy shook her head. "You're crazy," she said.
"Yeah," he replied. "And you love me for it."
"That, and so much more," she said, kissing him and grabbing his hand.
"Come on," she said. "One more stop."
* * * * *
"Didn't Willow and Tara ban us from being back here alone together," Xander asked as they entered the Magic Box's training room from the back.
"Well, Giles never did," Buffy said. "And he's the one who actually owns the place."
"But Wills is the one who yells at us," he said. Xander looked around the room. "Okay. I give up. Why are we here?"
"Because this is where everything changed. Five years ago today, at about this time in the afternoon, everything changed."
Xander was confused. "Everything being. . . "
"Me," she said.
"Oh, I see," he said, grinning. "This was all a big ego trip to get me to call you my everything. Well, no qualms there. Baby, you -"
"Xander, as sweet as that is, shut up."
"Okay."
Buffy took a deep breath. "Five years ago, you were still dating Anya."
"Barely," he said. "I mean, we knew we weren't right together, but neither of us had the stones to break it off for a while."
"I know," she said. "I remember."
Buffy paused, and led Xander to what, to her, was a specific spot. Xander couldn't think of anything special about it.
"It's funny, the things you remember," she said. "Before we started dating, I never really paid attention to what you said. I mean, I would know what you told me, but not your actual words."
"Okay," Xander said, not knowing what she was leading to.
"There are really only two times I remember what you said. The first was at the Bronze, after you got back from your road trip. Do you remember what you said?"
Xander nodded. "I called you my hero," he said. "It was true then, and it's still true now. You keep the darkness away."
Buffy nodded. "The other time was five years ago today. The day everything changed," she said. "The day I knew I had to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Really?" he asked.
Buffy nodded and pushed him away from her about a foot. "I was standing about here, and you were there, and I had just finished beating the crap out of you in the Puffy-Xander suit."
A memory started to pull itself to the surface in Xander's head.
"Riley had just left, and Spike was in love with me." They both involuntarily shuddered. "Anyway, I had this big self doubt thing going on, and then. . . "
--------
{Flashback}
"The problem is not you. Don't do this to yourself, please," Xander said, standing in front of Buffy in the Puffy-Xander suit.
Buffy's arms dropped to her side. "It's just ... I just wanna know that there's gonna be another good one. One that I won't chase away."
"There will be," Xander said. "Promise. He's out there, he could come along any minute."
"Yeah, and the minute after that I can terrify him with my alarming strength and remarkable self-involvement."
"What?" Xander asked. "I don't think you're like that."
"Maybe I could change," Buffy said, walking back and forth. "You know, I could, I could work harder. I could spend less time slaying, I could laugh at his jokes, I mean, men like that, right, the, the joke-laughing-at?"
"Or maybe you could just be Buffy, he'll see your amazing heart, and fall in love with you."
Buffy looked at Xander, intensely affected by his words, her eyes watering a little.
"Xander, that's. . . aww," she said, wrapping her arms as far around his puffy suit as they would go, and resting her head against his chest.
Xander shook his head. "This is the day you choose to hug me?"
{End Flashback}
--------
Xander was grinning, as Buffy finished her narrative in his arms. "Your hugs are much better when I can actually feel you," he said.
"You've got a good point," she said, snuggling in to his chest. "It's better for me, too, this way."
"So, you really knew then that I was the one?" he asked.
Buffy nodded. "It just clicked in my head. It was like 'Oh. Right. I'm in love with Xander.' And was then followed by much jealousy of Anya and scheming with Willow, who knew you and Anya were having problems."
Xander chuckled. "You were jealous of Anya," he said, laughing.
"Yeah. Why?"
"She was always afraid that you would come swooping in one day and steal me. I never could convince her that I was over you, and eventually I stopped trying."
"You were over me?" Buffy asked.
"For a time," he said. "But you might be surprised how quickly feelings return, given half a chance."
"Well it's a damn good thing they did," she said. Buffy leaned up and kissed him forcefully, which he returned with equal vigor. Their kiss intensified and the couple stumbled across the room, landing, with what some might call a practiced ease, on the couch.
* * * * *
"Don't go back there," Willow said, when she saw her lover moving back towards the training room.
"But I thought I heard -" Tara started.
"Don't go back there," Willow repeated. "Buffy had something planned for today, and their car is out front."
Tara stopped in her tracks. "Didn't we ban them from going back there?" she asked.
"Today's five years from the day Buffy fell in love with Xander," Willow said, taking Tara's hand in her own. "I made a one time exception. That's probably going to come back to haunt us."
"So, any babies that end up being named 'magic' are purely your fault?" Tara asked, smiling.
"Oh, Goddess," Willow said. "They'd do that, too."
"Well, they're in love," Tara said. "And that kind of passion is kind of rare."
Willow smiled. "They're no match for us," she said, as a crash came out from the back room. "Still," she said, opening a spell book, "I think we need to look into soundproofing."
----------
The End.