Chapter 1: DOUG

...

He tries not to make it awkward but it's impossible. Well, maybe not impossible since Ste hadn't really seemed to notice as he continued being his usual self, swanning around their new business as if he were a kid in a candy shop, but it'd been completely and utterly awkward for him.

It'd been weeks since he'd first felt it, not that he knew what it was exactly, and he just couldn't shake it. He wasn't even gay! He liked girls, long hair, boobs, vaginas, girls. The love of his life was a girl for Christ's sake.

But then there was Ste and he had really nice eyes, like really blue with long eyelashes. And he had a really nice pouty mouth too and a strong jaw and his body wasn't too bad either.

Doug mentally kicked himself as he found himself wondering into dangerous territory. He liked girls, end of.

"What you so deep in thought about eh?" Looking up, he was snapped out of his thoughts by Ste wondering out of the kitchen carrying his laptop.

"Oh, err, nothing." Plastering a fake smile on, he nodded towards the computer with his head as Ste took a seat next to him, "What you doing?"

Ste bit his lip slightly; turning the laptop away from Doug in an attempt to keep what was on the screen hidden, "Don't judge me yeah? But basically, I ain't been on like a date in ages me right, not since my first one with Noah and even that weren't really... Well ya know. And then there were Brendan and we all know how that turned out."

Doug chuckled as Ste spoke at a hundred miles per hour, one of his many natural talents was not being able to shut his gob, "Is this going anywhere Ste?"

"Yeah alright I'm nearly there!" He hesitated a moment longer before turning the computer around. The screen was filled with a picture of Ste grinning like an idiot under the title of '' , "I've not met anyone in ages and Amy said that's cos I'm not looking hard enough, the cheek of her. Anyways, so she made this account for me. "

A dating site. He wanted to find someone? Oh how bloody fantastic, Doug thought. This really wasn't the best timing what with him and his thoughts or... Feelings or whatever the hell was going on.

Ste must have caught onto Doug's mood about it and pouted, "It's stupid ain't it?"

"No! Hey, no it's not." Doug attempted a smile, "Why don't you add some stuff in the columns?" It was hardly filled in, besides the goofy picture and his name followed by a sentence introducing himself - the basic 'Hey, I'm Ste' - It was actually empty.

"Yeah well, Amy tried to help me yeah but she ended up saying stuff like I'm cute and funny and dead creative, but only girls like that kinda stuff don't they? Anyways, I can't do it by meself can I? No good with words and that but..." A big grin appeared on his face and Doug's eyes widened in understanding. Oh no, oh no, oh - "I thought you could help me!"

Great, Doug thought, just what he needed. It was hardly a big surprise he wasn't keen on helping Ste find someone, let a lone just the prospect of Ste actually being with someone else. "Oh come on! You owe me you know. You've been all moody these past few weeks when we got this place sorted and we should be dead excited not sulking."

So he had noticed the fact Doug had been ignoring him. He certainly hadn't acknowledged it but gone on his merry way concentrating on the deli. Ste pushed the laptop onto Doug's lap, "Please?"

Well he was hardly going to say no was he? What reason would he have besides 'I've just recently realised I may be into you please don't start dating just yet'? And he wasn't exactly going to go sprouting that nonsense around when he wasn't even sure what the hell it was he was feeling for Ste.

Oblivious to Doug's thoughts Ste smiled pleadingly, "Maybe start off with the fact we have this place cos It's proper impressive that innit?"

Doug found himself mercifully typing away at Ste's command and wishing he was doing anything but.

...

It took a couple of weeks before Ste brought the subject up. Doug had just assumed (and prayed) he'd given up on the idea but no such luck. During a rare lunch break Ste decided to tell him he'd gone and got himself a planned date already.

Doug was mid-swallow when Ste brought it up in an oh-so-casual way and he practically started chocking on his hotdog. "Oh my god, are you ok?" Ste gushed, pushing the nearest bottle of water into his hand, which Doug gratefully chugged back.

Once he'd finally started breathing normally again, he decided to check he wasn't going crazy, "What did you say?"

"I said I've got my first date set up for Friday. Thanks for your help Doug, I really do appreciate it yeah, all that stuff you wrote bout me, it proper worked didn't it." So his ears worked well then, and he wasn't crazy - unfortunately.

"Ste, I don't know, isn't this a little fast? And what about dangerous! You don't really know the guy."

Ste rolled his eyes at that, "I'm a big boy me, not gonna get done in by some psycho. Anyways we're only going for a meal."

Doug furrowed his eyebrows, grasping at straws, "What about all those stories, you know the ones were all those gay bashers that go on dates just to get you a lone."

For a moment Ste looked really put out, "Not all blokes are bad news you know, and I can look after meself! I thought you were proper behind me on this, what you being so negative for eh?"

A sigh escaped him as he looked away from Ste's blue eyes. God, he was acting really pathetic wasn't he? "No, you're right I'm sorry." Doug looked back up at Ste and smiled, "I just... I don't want to see you hurt.

The look of slight annoyance left Ste and he smiled back at Doug affectionately, "Awww. Thanks Doug. Tell ya what; I'll text ya to let you know if he's decent yeah? And then if I'm not back too late we can go for a drink and I'll fill ya in."

Great. Just what he needed, to be told all about how awesome this other guy was and know that he was never going to stand a chance. Not that he wanted a chance, did he?

It'd just gotten worse over the last few weeks. Every little thing Ste did Doug would catch, and over think. Like how adorable he was when taking orders or how his whole face would light up if anyone complemented the chief. Even the little things like how he chewed every pen they owned in the shop, and how Doug just didn't care.

"His names Cameron, and he don't live too far away actually, I'm surprised I ain't seen him at ChezChez before, or maybe I have but I ain't really noticed. He's dead nice though and he's got a kid himself, round Leah's age. Bet they could be friends, she'd love that yeah." Ste babbled on and Doug found himself just watching him animatingly expressing himself thinking how he had never in a million years expected to have feelings to be for another guy.

But here he was having feelings for Ste Hay.

...

Doug was a nervous wreck when Friday evening came around and decided a walk around the village might distract him. He wasn't exactly keen on the idea of thinking about Ste and his date all night but even the walk around town wasn't helping.

He ended up playing the weirdest game ever with himself. He named it the 'am I gay?' game and went about his business checking out every guy that walked past him.

Darren Osborn. Not a bad looking guy, but definitely not floating Doug's boat.

Riley Costello. Every woman alive probably fancied him and yet nope, nothing Doug found attractive about him.

Joel Dexter. Kid who wore an awful leather jacket - and he'd just come out of Price Slice with an eight pack of condoms so he was obviously stupidly optimistic. Just no.

Dodger Savage. Oh for god's sake the guy was a sleazebag, what anyone would see in him God knows.

Brendan Brady. Doug was just about to think that Brendan was probably the last bloke alive he'd ever having those feelings for and then, crap; he'd linked eyes with him. "Douglas!" The mustached man smiled wickedly and headed his way. The bright red coat wrapped around him made him look like a charging bull.

How many times had this guy gotten way too close, right up in Doug's face? Brendan didn't know the meaning of person space or stepping too far across the line. Doug had never felt a single thing for Brendan any of the times he'd over stepped that line. Why was Ste so different to all these people?

"I'm busy Brendan, haven't got time for idle chit chat."

"Yeah, yeah ye do." The Irishman decided for him, grabbing his arm to stop him from leaving, "Quick question, were is Stephen tonight?"

Oh double crap. Did Ste want his ex to know his whereabouts tonight? Probably not, Doug decided.

He shrugged in response and Brendan's eyes narrowed. "Really? Cos, I could of sworn I'd read something online-" Doug pulled his arm out of Brendan's grip roughly, "Just leave Ste alone ok?"

"I know he's meeting up with the guy tonight." His blue eyes pierced through Doug's, "Where?"

"I'm not gonna tell you!" Doug argued back. Was Brendan being serious? Did he actually expect him to betray Ste like that? There was no chance, friends didn't rat out friends. And he knew what Brendan was like, he knew about his and Ste's past, he hardly wanted to know so he could just pop by and say a quick hello.

Just as Doug began to walk away though Brendan grabbed his coat collar in a shift motion and had Doug pinned against the nearby wall in seconds. "Ye forget Douglas," Brendan hissed at him, eyes wild, "I have the ability to tell Stephen everything about our little deal don't I?"

Oh fuck. He always knew this would come back and bite him on the arse. He just didn't realise it'd be so soon. Gulping, he tried to squirm out of Brendan's lock with no avail. "Tell me where he is."

Doug sighed dramatically. God he really was a crap friend wasn't he? But if Brendan were to tell Ste about the loan... A hell would brake loose. Ste would never speak to him again, and that was the last thing he wanted.

"Fine!" He fumbled for his phone, "He texted me the address ok?" Brendan looked him over once before slowly letting go and stepping a little away. Doug fumbled through his texts until he got to the one he wanted and then forwarded it to Brendan.

On getting the message Brendan looked it over and grinned. "You're not gonna ruin their date are you?" Now who was being stupidly optimistic?

"No, no I just thought I'd pop by congratulate him on finding someone yeah." The sarcastic remark made Doug roll his eyes.

"Why can't you just leave him alone Brendan?"

The 'tashed man turned to look at him once more, pushing his phone back into his pocket and then slowly walked back up to Doug, reinvading his person space. "You're very protective of Stephen." Brendan analyzed him up and down, "You do a lot for him."

A gulp sounded from Doug and he prayed Brendan hadn't heard him. He couldn't know the truth could he? It was impossible. "He's my best mate." He replied, holding his head up and trying not to let his voice crack and betray him.

Brendan smirked slightly with a hmm and then he was gone. Sighing, Doug placed his head in his hands before taking out his phone again.

He thought about texting Ste and telling him what happened and to go somewhere else with Cameron but then he remembered Brendan's threat. Chances were he'd definitely tell Ste the truth if he didn't find them in that restaurant.

Doug hit the wall behind him with his foot annoyed and then headed off to The Dog for a well-needed drink. If he built up some liquid courage he might even admit to Ste it was him who told Brendan were he was, try to keep the secrets between them to a minimum.

Opening the deli was meant to help him escape his complicated life but, no, if anything it had just made it all that crazier.