Last Christmas

Written by: Crimson Dutchess

Summary: Cagalli takes an emotional break after putting up one ornament on the Christmas tree. After reviewing her relationship events with Athrun, an unexpected visitor comes. Will Cagalli ever be relieved of the pain deep in her heart? Read to find out. AsuCaga, Oneshot, Christmas fic. Read and review.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED or Athrun or Cagalli blah blah, I own the fic.

A/N: I'm not dead guys! I just suffer from the lack of updating disease which affects over half of us on this site XD. Contagious, you know. Anyway, hopefully, I'll get to updating Against All Odds before the end of January, before Christmas isn't going to work as I'm leaving for vacation in a couple of days. Anyway, read on! Hope you enjoy it!

The gold shine of the ornament glimmered in Cagalli's amber eyes. She sighed as she added it to the fresh green tree. A memory of the past Christmas flashed in her mind; she was standing on a ladder putting the star at the top of the tree, but stumbled and fell. A blue-haired boy caught her just before she made her injury-insured drop, and the tree, knocked over, had its once beautiful decorations destroyed. The two stared at each other, then laughed. Cagalli shook her head trying to forget the memory before the tears rushed to her eyes.

Cagalli added the gold aluminium ball to the tree before grabbing a blue one. She stared at it for a moment. The shade was almost the same as his hair. 'Oh what does it matter? Why do I even think about these things? This is stupid.' Cagalli thought to herself. She put the ornament back in the box in hopes to rid herself of the pain-striking thoughts. She dug in the box for an ornament that was neither blue or gold, and went for a red one. It was as deep red as the haumea jewel on the ring she received from him when they used to be engaged. A pained expression crossed the gentle features of the blonde-haired girl. She clenched her hands trying her best to hold back the deep pain, and nearly shattered the ornament. Then she mentally calmed herself down, and decided to take a break, even though she only started decorating five minutes ago. Her heart needed a time-out.

Cagalli headed upstairs, in which she turned to walk through the left hall and made her way to her room at the end of it. Passing by the many photos of the many memories they shared, she snapped her eyes shut in attempt to ignore them. Still, the memories played an ongoing theatre in her mind, and suddenly she felt a deep sore in her chest, almost as if a spear had just ran through her.

The blonde rushed quickly into her room, and darted towards the bed, which now only contained her, and only her. She reached under her bed and pulled out a picture frame containing the very image of him. Athrun. Athrun Zala. Former price of the ZAFT forces, and previously a soldier of the military. She remembered the first time they met. Cagalli had always embraced this memory, even through the times when things weren't so great. It had always made her smile, every time she thought of the face of the young man grinning at her in amusement while she was struggling in handcuffs. She even had a little crush on him, after all he was attractive, and despite him being a soldier, a bit of a gentleman at that. Something inside her told her that they'd meet again someday.

And it happened. Although not the best way to be reunited, they were in some sense, happy. After the argument, Cagalli gave him her treasured haumea necklace, given to her by her father to keep her safe from danger. She didn't want him to die. All Cagalli wanted was to see him again, at least one more time. Fate was on her side, and she did see him again, this time he was on her side. And he stayed on her side after the war, as her bodyguard. At least, until fate brought them apart. When they did get the chance to fight on the same side again, Cagalli had to forfeit her relationship with Athrun so she could take the role of ORB's leader. She, having no regrets, found hard to get over. However, she had no other choice.

Cagalli knew she had hurt Athrun deeply by not telling a word to him after removing the engagement ring, and deeply regretted it, especially after he hugged her goodbye. 'No. This isn't goodbye. I'll see you again.' she kept telling herself, but knowing there was probably no chance of it. Holding back the tears, she hugged him back, full of sadness, regret, and passion at the same time, with a diminishing hope that she'll see Athrun again. Cagalli watched her friends fly off into the distance, tears streaming from her saddened eyes. She buried her face into the pillow hugging the picture, now wishing she hadn't thought back to the hysteria of memories. "Is this… the direction life has to go in?" she struggled out, the lump in her throat making her voice croak.

Suddenly, the sound of the door bell rung around the residence, echoing off the walls and reaching Cagalli. She wiped the tears out of her eyes, and hesitantly got up to leave her room and head downstairs to answer the door. 'Who could it be?' she thought to herself. A man in a dark tuxedo stood in front of her.

"I'll get the door Miss Cagalli." he said with a smile spreading across his wrinkled face.

"No that's alright, I'll get it. You can take the rest of the day off." she assured the butler.

"Are you okay? You look like you just cried or something?" he asked concerned.

"No, I'm fine, I'm just tired." she responded.

The doorbell sounded again. Cagalli anxiously reached for the knob to open the door. Behind the large wooden door withheld a familiar face. Her jaw dropped. She couldn't believe her eyes. Could it really be him? Her baffled expression simply engaged him to speak first.

"Uh, hello Cagalli. How are you?" he asked as he handed her a wrapped gift. Still wide-eyed, she accepted the gift.

"A-Ath…run?" she stuttered, "Is-is it really you?"

"Yes." he replied. Cagalli, now feeling stupid for asking that shook her head and invited him inside. Her heart pounding like crazy, she mentally screamed at herself to settle down, since they were only friends now, anyway. She led him to the living room where she had been decorating the tree and put his gift under it. He looked around the room, examining the small changes in the furniture placement since he was last there, then redirected his focus to the tree.

"Need some help?" he asked pointing at the one ornament that was on the tree.

"Uh… yeah, sure." she said handing him a box of ornaments. They began to decorate the tree, the first five minutes in silence, before Athrun decided to break the ice.

"So… how's life?" he asked. Cagalli, surprised at his uncalled-for question, had her mind scrambled up for a moment before answering.

"Uh, fine I guess. Just the usual. Endless paper work, long, boring meetings, stressful overall." she replied.

"Ah." he said putting the red ornament on the tree. She stared at him for a moment, then looked away, and debated whether she ask him about his life or not.

"Well, how's life on your end? And how are Kira and Lacus?" were the words her mouth slipped out.

"So-so." he said, "Lacus and Kira are just fine, Kira recently enrolled in karate."

"Karate?" Cagalli giggled. "Kira in karate? That's different." she said started to laugh a bit more.

"I know, I was surprised when I heard him tell me about it." Athrun smiled. His very smile tripped an alarm in Cagalli's mind. Just remembering it made her feel warm inside, but this time she felt she wanted to cry. She looked away for a bit and put some ornaments on the opposite side of the tree to Athrun, so he couldn't see her face.

"How's Meyrin?" she asked in a quieter voice. She mentally slapped herself for asking that. She really didn't want to know.

"She's okay." he said, "Why do you ask?"

"Uhh, nothing really. I just thought you'd say something else, since you are going steady now, aren't you?" she asked, feeling like she should shoot herself for saying that last part. A deep pain struck her heart as she knew what he was going to say.

"No! That's not true! Of course we share a house, but we're nothing more than friends. She's more of a sister to me than anything else." he said. Cagalli mentally cheered, but then stopped remembering they weren't in love, and there was almost no chance they would be.

"Oh. Sorry for misunderstanding." she mumbled.

"That's alright."

After finishing the tree with the tinsel, and some candy canes, Cagalli was going to put the star on the top. She climbed the ladder, with Athrun holding it steady this time, and placed it right at the top. She climbed down to meet eyes with Athrun.

"You didn't fall this time." he laughed. Cagalli shot him a look, before walking back towards the tree to put an ornament back on the tree she accidentally knocked down on her way up.

Athrun moved the ladder elsewhere, but in returning his gaze towards the tree, he noticed the star was at a strange angle. It was slowly tipping over. He dashed towards her direction.

"Cagalli!" he yelled tackling her out of the way. The huge star fell right after. Athrun got up, pulling her up with him.

"Oww."

"That was close. You could've been knocked out." he said with a worried expression. His worry nearly brought tears to her eyes. She remembered how he'd always be so protective of her, and jump at anything that would harm her. Despite all the screaming she'd do to him, he would always say he did it because he loved her too much. It might've been just something to be taken for granted back then, but right now it seemed to strike a question at her. 'Does he still love me?' she thought. 'No, that's impossible. He would never love me after what I've done. We'll never be ever again." she finished as the same deep pain struck her heart which caused tears to almost well up. Cagalli pushed his arm off from around her back, and walked towards the kitchen as an excuse for hiding her almost-tears.

"I'm going to make some hot chocolate, do you want some?" she asked.

"Sure." he replied as she made a couple of mugs of the chocolaty drink. She handed him the mug, and joined him at the opposite end of the table.

Athrun sat facing the tree to the side. Cagalli stared at him. She never really looked at him since he got here. He wore a white shirt with blue sleeves, along with some old, regular jeans. His wardrobe has really changed since she last met him. Must've been an influence by Meyrin. His hair, was still long and navy blue, attractive as ever, and his face wasn't too different from the last time she saw him. Around his neck, hung the red haumea necklace she gave him long ago. She couldn't believe it! It was surprising he still had it after all those years. Three years ago, before he departed back to the ZAFT ship, she gave him the necklace to keep him out of danger. He took a sip out of his mug, before turning to look at Cagalli who had turned away. He knew the whole time she was looking at him.

"Yes?" he asked as Cagalli blushed knowing now that he knew she was staring at him.

"Nothing, nothing." she said.

"Then what was with the stare?"

"I SAID NOTHING!" she shot back at him.

"Alright Princess, whatever you say." he said turning back to the tree.

"Don't call me Princess!!" she screamed. Athrun just simply grinned and gave a small 'sorry'.

Cagalli turned away with her arms folded. 'That idiot.' she thought. He may be an idiot, but she knew all well she still deeply cared about 'that idiot'. Then she looked down into her mug of the chocolaty liquid and blew at it, watching it swirl and ripple. She noticed Athrun with his head turned a slight bit, but clearly staring at her. "What!?"

"Nothing." he said.

His eyes, a deep shade of green, were locked into hers, and it caused the deep pain in her heart to hurt a little more. Oh, how she missed those wonderful green eyes, it was probably her favourite physical feature on him, other than his hair. Cagalli never told him that she liked his eyes, but everyday she'd always tell herself that she loved them. She sometimes secretly wished she had his eyes.

At the moment, Cagalli really wanted to disappear, since she was just about to cry. After finishing her drink, she got up and walked towards the couch in the living room and sat down. Athrun finished his drink, and followed, sitting beside her on the couch. She turned away from him and folded her arms. Athrun was confused and wondering what was wrong with her. He wanted to find out what she was bothering her, if anything.

"Cagalli, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong Athrun." she lied. He could tell.

"Well, you're acting a little strange Cagalli. I just thought something was bothering you."

"I'm not acting strange. Just shut up." she started to sob.

She couldn't run away from him any longer, she had nowhere to go without looking suspicious. The tears spilled out of her eyes. Athrun put his arm around her but she just pushed him away and moved farther down the couch. After giving a sympathetic look, he moved down the couch to get closer to her. She tried leaning over the end to get as far away from him as possible, but he persisted. He tried to hug her, but she struggled out of his grasp and punched him in the face.

"STOP IT! GO AWAY!!" she screamed with more tears running down her cheek. He moved back to his original spot on the couch, upset he wasn't able to help. Or maybe he wasn't taking the right approach.

"Cagalli, what's wrong?" he repeated. He really didn't like having to reason with Cagalli this way when she was in this state, because it was nearly impossible to confer with her. But he had no other choice. It was either this, or he was out the door.

"SHUT UP!" she screamed.

"Cagalli, please. If it's the last thing you say to me, please tell me what's wrong. You're worrying me. I really want to help you." he explained in a last-resort kind of way. Cagalli said nothing for a moment.

"Why?" she muffled. Athrun sighed.

"Because…"

"Because what?"

"Because I love you." he quickly said. Cagalli turned to him.

"You what?"

"I love you!"

"You… love me?"

"Yes, Cagalli, I love you! I've always loved you. There wasn't a moment since we met that I haven't." he admitted. She stopped crying and moved towards him.

"Athrun…"

"Yes?"

"I…I love you too. I'm sorry!" she apologized and pushed her face into his shoulder to sob some more. Athrun raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you sorry? That's a good thing." he asked confused.

"No, it's not." she argued.

"Well, why not?"

"It's because I shouldn't." she started, "I don't want to get your hopes up like this Athrun. You know we can't be together. I can't take care of ORB and be with you at the same time. I'm not going to turn away from my country just to be with you, nor do I want to take care of my country to turn away from you. I'm not making the same mistake again." she explained. Athrun smiled.

"You don't have to do either." he said.

"What?"

"I said you don't have to do either. You shouldn't take either option as a responsibility you'd have to prefer over the other. Do what makes you happy. I will do everything in my power to make you happy. Even if it means going out of my way to make sacrifices and support you." Athrun explained.

"Athrun… would you really?" she asked, wiping her eyes.

"Or course. I love you more than anything. I'd give my life for you." he said sincerely, staring into her teary eyes.

"Oh Athrun, I love you so much." she said smiling, and hugged him tightly. She was so thankful to have such a caring person in her life. Athrun loved her. She was happy. Cagalli knew this was her ideal ending to a perfect Christmas. But wait, it's missing one thing. Cagalli got up off the couch and ran upstairs.

"Where are you going?" Athrun called.

"I'll be right back!" she replied. Athrun waited patiently. Five minutes later, Cagalli returned with a small box in her hand. She sat on the couch next to Athrun and handed it to him. He curiously stared at the box. It looked awfully familiar. He opened it to reveal a golden ring with a haumea jewel on it. The engagement ring!

"Why are you giving me this?" he asked.

"It's time to show me that you know how to properly give a ring to a girl." she giggled.

Athrun smiled and got down on one knee. He looked straight into her eyes. He opened the box.

"Cagalli, will you marry me?" he pleaded. She smiled at him.

"Yes Athrun, I will marry you." she said. Athrun took the ring out of the box, and carefully slid it on her finger. She looked at it and smiled again.

"That's more like it." she said before hugging Athrun. He looked deep into her eyes and neared his face towards hers. She closed the gap between their lips and he deepened it. She broke away and cuddled into Athrun's neck.

"You know, this Christmas was way better than last Christmas."