Okay, so here it is as promised. I hoper this helps you to understand Bella a little more. I wish I could give you more BPOV but I can't because I don't want to give plot away and if I go into Bella's head after the pregnancy I would have to give away some stuff. But I might do a Carlisle's and Alice's POV, so wait for it ;)

The scene about the piano that Bella mentions in this one is the flashback that Edward has on chapter 10.

In this one remember that Bella must be in hysterics, so sometimes her thoughts might be a little jumbled and they probably won't be coherent or make sense. Also she is pregnant so mood swings and hormones won't help her either =))

Thanks to my awesome betta Cattinson for her wonderful job and words!

Tissue warning!

SM own every character, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)

Outtake: BPOV

"White Horse" – Taylor Swift

Say you're sorry, that face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you

Holding on, the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should have known
I should have known

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell

This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naive, got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, now I know

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

The alarm on my cell rings and I instantly jump out of bed.

Today is my wedding day.

I'm getting married today!

I felt happy tears threatening to come out of my eyes as I made my way to Alice's bathroom in her guest room. I was just so happy the day was finally here, I've never felt like this in my entire life, but I knew the real reason of my happy tears… hormones. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled to myself patting my stomach. Life couldn't get better than this.

I knew I had been right all along, dad was wrong about love he was just bitter after what Renee did to us. While growing up he had always warned me about falling in love. He had told me not to be stupid and to think with my head. That by falling I'll only be asking for a broken heart and trouble. But by watching my Disney princess' movies and by hearing love stories in kindergarten and at school I had found hope… and faith, what can I say? I'm a dreamer. I grew up dreaming of prince charming, castles and unicorns, trying to ignore him the best I could mostly because by listening to him it would only bring me back to that dreadful day. I had only been six and I'll never forget it even though I tried to never think about it, it was just too, too painful. I never think about that day… and I wouldn't think about it now, especially today.

Today is my wedding day. The happiest day of my life.

I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. Today is my wedding day and I know I'm the fucking luckiest girl in the world as I'm marrying the most beautiful person, inside and out.

Edward.

My pretty boy.

I felt a tear fall in my cheek and I cleared it away. I couldn't believe this was happening, that I had been right. Life was more than that little sad town where I was born, more than what my father had told me. Life was worth living, worth risking and worth falling for. Edward proved him wrong, I loved him more than anything in the world, I trusted him with my life and I knew he would never hurt me he was the one to save me from all those years of pain that I suffered. My prince charming was finally here to save me. He was the gentlest soul, the most caring one.

He was perfect.

It was incredible how well he knew me. I know some people would say we got engaged pretty soon –my dad especially- but we couldn't help it. It just felt so right. I knew I would never love someone else, he was my everything and I couldn't picture myself spending the rest of my life with anyone else and today… today we were making it official. I was going to officially be Mrs. Pretty boy.

I laughed at my own silliness, what can I say? I was just too damn excited to think clearly. To damn happy! I was also a bit nervous of course, last night I had been a little jittery for some reason but Alice had assured me that everything was taken care of and not to worry, that she was the one in charge and for me to only worry about my beauty sleep.

Alice was truly and angel sent to me from heaven. I have never connected with a girl as she and I did. Of course Angela was a great friend, and she had always been there for me, we came together from Forks to Toronto but things with Alice were just different, we were sisters. There was something about her personality that clicked with mine even though we were total opposites on likes and dislikes, maybe it has to do with the fact that we both live life fully, and we always see the bright side to anything and even though sometimes she is a little annoying and insistent, -like last night- I loved her to death. She had made me to sleepover at her house as the norm was that the bride couldn't see the groom until the wedding, Edward and I had protested and thought of it silly but Alice being Alice made that stupid pout and convinced us to play along.

I looked at my watch and saw that it was 8:13 am. Edward must be awake by now, getting ready for the day ahead of us. He was supposed to be out of his house, oops… sorry our house –as he had corrected me millions of times- by ten as it was there where all the wedding stuff was, and where we were supposed to get ready so Alice could supervise everything and get me ready at the same time.

I took a shower and dried my hair pulling it in a loose bun at the top of my head, when I was about to get dress I felt a tug in my stomach and a sudden feel of nausea assaulted me.

Here we go again.

I sprinted to the toilet, leaned in front of it and started to throw up violently. After a few minutes the nausea stopped and I leaned my head against the wall, breathing deeply to try and calm down my stomach.

"Please be good today, you don't want daddy to see mommy throwing up in the middle of the isle right?" I talked tenderly to my stomach and smiled again at the thought of Edward being a daddy. I felt tears fall from my cheeks again and I cleared them away. "Please baby… be good for mommy?" Shit, I was getting emotional again at least I had the excuse of the wedding if I started crying again in front of someone.

I seriously didn't know how Edward hadn't noticed it yet. I wanted to surprise him on our honeymoon – which I still didn't know where he was taking me to by the way – but I seriously thought he would find out before as I had been being very sick for the past two weeks. He was gone for work when it happened but there were other signs as well. My lack of period, hello? I knew I had been sleeping longer and I had been eating like crazy for the past weeks too. Speaking of which… where are my pop tarts? I was sure I had brought some with me? I stood from the floor, rinsed my mouth and went back to the room to search into my bag, but before I could reach it I saw my phone on the bedside table. I forgot about the irrational craving and I took it to call Edward.

After a few rings it went to voicemail, just like last night. Why wasn't he answering me? I know Alice forbid him to talk to me too but I knew he wouldn't have listened to her. He had called me yesterday afternoon, with Alice next to me and ignored her when she started complaining about ruining the fun, but when I tried a few times to call him latter at night he never picked up. I sat on my bed and frowned, maybe he just turned in early… resting for today's events. Yeah, that might be what happened and he was probably taking a shower now.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath calming my nerves. Today was a big day and I couldn't wait for it to start. I put both of my hands on my stomach and sighed contentedly. I knew it was too soon for us to become parents, when I first saw the pink mark on the test I obviously freaked out, I was worried about what Edward would think as it was so soon, we weren't even married yet but when I stepped out of the bathroom and heard the music from his piano, a wave of calm and peace filled my body and calmed my fears and I knew he wouldn't care, I knew he would be happy about it. I just knew it, so instead of freaking out I walked into his studio and watched him play. When I made my presence noticed, he had made fun of all the paint stains on my face but I hadn't cared, how could I? I had just received the most wonderful news so what did it matter how I looked? I had stared into his gorgeous green eyes and saw what I was looking for. So I decided to keep it a secret, and instead we had shared small vows. I had wanted to surprise him so this day would be even more special to us. I had been so tempted to tell Alice but I wanted him to know first for some reason. He deserved to be the first one to know about our baby.

The door burst open and a bewildered Alice came in.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Did something happen?" I asked worriedly.

"Nothing is wrong, just… stupid boys!"

"What's wrong Alice? Did something happen to Edward?" I was starting to panic.

"No, calm down… Edward is fine, I think. It's Jasper, idiot!… he has a hangover, they thought it was wise to go out last night for a couple of beers but of course they ended up getting fucking wasted! I'm going to fucking kill them!"

"Them?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, the groom and the best men… apparently a last minute bachelor party."

"What? Why did they go out last night? Where is Edward? Is he Ok?" I asked in a mixture of anger and worry. Damn it, what's wrong with him? Here I was thinking he had gone to bed early while in reality he had been out and about.

"Don't worry about him… Jasper says Edward left way earlier, he should be fine."

"Thank god." I sighed in relief, no wonder he didn't answer me last night. I just hoped he didn't have a hangover too, that he had been smart enough to stop before it became too much as I knew he wasn't able to hold his liquor too much.

"Yeah, as long as Edward is ok we are safe, but they are so going to hear from me of course. Why didn't they do it last weekend like yours? Seriously, men are just so stupid!" She yelled throwing her arms in the air "I called Rosalie and Emmet's the same… she is mad as hell too. She dragged him out of bed and made him take a cold shower. He is on his way now to pick us up and help us to take things to the chapel."

"Poor Em" I laughed imagining Rosalie dragging him out of bed. You never messed with her, she could be very harsh when she wanted to.

"Well, he knew we needed him today, same with Jasper… so they'll just have to suck it up and they know better than to whine about it."

"It's Ok Ali, I'm sure Jasper and Emmet will be fine. What's the worst that can happen anyways?" Now that I knew Edward was safe and turned in early I could relax a little about the situation.

"No, it's not fine Bella! What if, one of them throws up while you are giving your vows, huh?"

"We'll just make sure we have buckets nearby." I teased and she huffed not appreciating my joke, if only she knew that the bride could very well be the one using them. Actually it would be a very good idea to have buckets nearby now that I think of it.

"So Edward went home early?" I asked again in reassurance.

"Yes, Jasper told me he left around eleven. He hailed a cab for him personally."

"Ok, that explains it then. I tried to call him last night and he didn't answer. I just hope he doesn't have a headache." I said worriedly.

"If he does he deserves it." She said bitterly making me laugh. I would never wish him that but I agreed with her. Who the hell goes out the night before his wedding? "I didn't plan the perfect wedding for him to just go and ruin it all. He is the groom, he should have known better and been a little more responsible."

…

…

…

"Thanks Alice, for everything." She turned to me confused by my sudden change of topic, but smiled anyways. "You did plan the perfect wedding." I said smiling at her. It truly was, it was kind of small as apart from my father and some friends I didn't have relatives, the reception was going to be at the Toronto's Fairmont hotel, I had complained as I thought it would be a ridiculous waste of money but Alice and Esme convinced me, and I had to admit the ballroom was beautiful. The decorations were gorgeous, the food was exquisite and most importantly… I loved my dress… it was everything I ever dreamed of and I couldn't wait to wear it.

"You are welcome," She said smiling back "my best friend and my brother are getting married. It was the least I could do." She said beaming at me then and I started crying again. "Awww sweetie. Come here…" She said hugging me and I hugged her back.

"I'm really thankful Alice, for everything… for you accepting me so easily… you are like a sister to me. I never had a full family and now… I'm getting everything at once is so overwhelming."

"Edward is so lucky to have you, and I wish the best for you. Today your lives are gonna change forever and I can only hope everything turns out as you wished. You especially deserve it."

"Thank you Alice, I love you."

"I love you too Bella, you are like the sister I never had too." She whispered.

I got dresses in my favorite jeans and in one of Edward's t-shirts that I had brought with me just to feel closer to him today while I got ready. I came downstairs and Alice put a bowl of fruit in front of me. I was finishing my breakfast when the doorbell rang and Alice went to answer it. It was Emmet, sunglasses on and ready to pick us up. Jasper was on his way and was going to meet us at Edward's house. Once in Emmet's jeep Alice started berating him non-stop. Not taking mercy on Emmet's headache and I stifled my laugh at Emmet's mood. I know I should be mad at them for dragging Edward out last night, but seeing him like that I thought he had enough on his plate, especially with Alice yelling at him.

We stopped for coffee at Tim Hortons and I ordered my always and bought a black coffee for Edward too, guessing he was still at home as he hadn't arrived at his parent's house yet. I was getting worried now, I had called him again and he didn't answer either. If he indeed had a hangover I was going to be pissed and I didn't want that for today. I called him again and he still didn't pick up, so now I was getting impatient and really worried.

After a few minutes Emmet parked where Edward usually parked his Volvo. I got out of the car and I heard Alice starting to give orders, from the corner of my eye I saw Carlisle's Mercedes and Esme stepping out of it. She came to me and hugged me giving me a peck on my cheek.

"Hello sweetie, nervous?"

"A little," I laughed nervously, I didn't know how to explain it but something was bugging me. I guess it was me finally hitting me the importance of the day, and that would explain my sudden nerves. I turned to the house and lifted my gaze to the window on Edward's room and saw a swift movement on the curtain and I smiled. He was definitely home.

I went to open the door and realized my hand was shaking. What was wrong with me? I needed to see Edward, I knew he would calm my sudden stress so I turned the knob and walked into the foyer, the house was quiet. Very, very quiet.

"Edward?" I called out while I put the coffees on a nearby table and made my way to the stairs. My heart beating loudly in contrast to the quiet house.

As I reached the top of the stairs I saw a piece of fabric on the floor, I looked closely and realized it was Edward's red button down shirt. I chuckled and kneeled down to pick it up. But when I took it I caught a weird smell on it. I brought it to my nose and inhaled deeply, my stomach churned in response.

Shit, not now.

It smelled strongly of beer and cigarettes, obviously from the bar but there was something else. A sweet scent too. Too sweet of a smell that it made my nose sting. I frowned in confusion and stood up, putting it on the banister. I took a deep breath to calm the nausea and walked into the hallway and heard movement on the other side of Edward's door. I smiled knowing he was up, he must have overslept and just woken up. My heart started to beat wildly again but I ignored it, excited to see him again so I took the knob on the door and flung it open.

"Good morning sunshine!" I sing sang happily to him, but froze when I saw the expression on his face. He was sitting on his bed, his hair was a mess, his eyes were bloodshot and he was paler than ever. But that wasn't the reason why my heart had stopped. I was his face, his expression… he was alarmed, and I could clearly see that he was nearly panicking.

"Edward? What's wro-" I started to say, but something caught my eye next to him. I turned my gaze and time seemed to stop, suddenly everything seemed to go in slow motion. I saw something moving, I heard a noise… I heard moan. A leg came out underneath the sheets and I lift my gaze to see a mess of strawberry blonde hair. She turned over and I saw her bare chest, I scanned her naked body trying to make sense of what was happening and finally my eyes set on her face. I scanned the room and saw Edward's pants on the floor.

I gasped.

I was crying while I sat at the top of the stairs, hearing mommy and daddy fighting. It wasn't new that they fought, they always did, but this time it was different. They were fighting over me.

"I'm leaving Charles!"

"Renee, wait… we can talk about it!" I heard dad beg.

"There's nothing to talk about! I don't love you, never have! I'm leaving you, I can't stand you! I can't even look at you without feeling repulsion!"

"I'm sorry babe, but please… Tell me what I did wrong? Tell me sweetheart… we can work this out! Think about Bella." Daddy said desperately.

"I don't care about her! And there is nothing to work out, I'm still leaving!"

"What are you talking about? She is your daughter!"

"I don't care about her! She is just an inconvenience! It was her fault I got trapped in this! I never wanted this, I hate this fucking town, I hate this fucking life, and I fucking hate you! I had plans for me, and she fucking ruined them! That stupid little girl ruined my life!"

"Don't you even dare to talk about her like that! She isn't at fault! Renee, think about it please! You can still do what you want, I'll work harder so you can go back to school if you want! You can still achieve your dreams!"

Mommy let out a bitter laugh.

"Really? How? By staying home all day and being the perfect wife? That's not me! I want freedom, I feel trapped! I hate staying here all day just taking care after a child I never wanted! I never asked for her, everything was going great between us and she just ruined everything!"

"RENEE! It wasn't her fault! Please, stay… don't leave us, if not for me for your daughter!"

"But I DON'T WANT HER, YOU or THIS. So I'm leaving. Goodbye Charles." I heard footsteps on the foyer.

"But, where are you going right now? It's late!"

"I'm going to Phoenix."

"WHAT? Why the hell are you going to Phoenix?" Dad asked aghast.

"I met someone."

"What?"

"Please Charles, don't be stupid… you knew already. I know you have been checking my phone."

…

…

"Do you love him?" Dad asked in a broken voice.

"I do. He is young, handsome and nothing like you. He is adventurous and carefree, that's what I want. I never wanted to play mommy and daddy with you." She said and walked to the door. I couldn't hold it anymore, so I broke into a run down the stairs and into the small foyer and hugged my mommy's legs.

"Mommy! Don't leave please! I'll be good, I prwomise!" I sobbed. "I-I'm so-o-rry! I'll be good!"

I continued to beg, but she only pushed me away with her leg, I bumped into a book shelve with my back and a vase fell and hit the floor with a loud crash, sending pieces of glass everywhere and scratching my skin.

She walked out the door without even giving me a last glance.

I broke into a run down the hallway and reached the bottom of the stairs. My heart was about to come out of my chest, my lungs hurt at the lack of oxygen as I sobbed without restraint. I heard him call at me but I couldn't focus on him. My mind was someplace exactly eighteen years ago.

"I don't care about her!"

"I had plans for me, and she fucking ruined them! That stupid little girl ruined my life!"

I could still remember her voice, piercing through my ears as I cried on those stairs, trying to cover my ears to tune everything out.

I hit the bottom of the stairs, and saw Emmet and Jasper carrying a big box with vases. Edward reached me and tried to get a hold of me so I turned around.

"IDIOT!" I yelled and slapped him as hard as I could, my hands stinging from the force. I instantly felt the whole house go quiet and heard steps coming from the kitchen.

"IDIOT!" I yelled again, a pressure on my chest keeping me from breathing "HOW COULD YOU!" I yelled loudly, my vision blurring with tears.

This wasn't real… I needed to get out. The pressure in my chest continued to grow, I needed air. It felt as if everything was leaving me, air, reason, my heart… my soul. I needed to escape this I needed to get out of this hell I was in. I couldn't stand it.

"I don't want her!"

"Bells don't be a fool. Think with your head not with your heart."

"She just ruined everything!"

"You are a strong woman, don't be an idiot, only idiots fall in love."

"I never wanted her!"

"Bells, stop watching Cinderella. It's not real, real world doesn't work that easy."

"I hate you."

"Isabella, love only gives someone the power to break you. Don't forget that."

"BELLA WAIT, I DON'T KNOW-"

He started to speak but I didn't want to hear him, so I turned around and headed for the door but I felt his hand on mine stopping me from taking another step. His touch stung my skin, an unpleasant feeling swirling all the way up into my arms. I pulled my hand away abruptly and turned to slap him again.

"Don't touch me! I don't want you to ever touch me again!" I screamed at him and I felt a surge of rage claim my body. How dared he?

"Bella I'm sorry! I Don-"

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!" I screamed, my throat straining from the sobbing, yelling and lack of air. My head was pounding hard, my mind was a chaos, and I was confused about what to do. I felt my head about to explode so brought both of my hands to it, covering my ears. I didn't want to listen to him I didn't want to see him.

I hated him.

I felt nothing but hate and pain. I wanted to get out of here but I felt lost, I didn't know what to do or where to go. I just knew I could stand his touch, his voice or his presence.

"Isabella, honey, what happened? Calm down, please sweetie…" I heard Esme's sweet voice but I didn't listen to her. Instead I took my engagement ring from my finger, I felt trapped in it and threw it at him.

"I'M DONE! I don't want to hear from you ever again!" His eyes widened in fear, I could see the panic in his eyes and it only make my heartache stronger.

"Bella! No! WAIT! Let me-"

"Edward?" A voice said from the stairs making me freeze as everyone else gasped.

In that instant, the only thing I felt was the cold and emptiness of my body. I felt useless, stupid and so, so unworthy.

Humiliated.

A loud crash echoed through the hallway, piercing my ears and shattering my heart. My knees were weak and I fell to the ground on my knees, covering my eyes, sobbing as I remembered my father healing my wounds that night. Taking the pieces of glass out of my arm and knees while he cried quietly. I heard Alice yell at her, and felt her run but someone stopped her. Then I felt him in front of me, he tried to tug at my wrist but I flinched away.

"Bella, please… honey, look at me. Please baby…" He sobbed and my heart dissolved.

Baby…

He tugged at my wrists harder, and I give in only to bring my arms around my stomach.

Around our baby.

I cried harder when it downed on me.

Our baby! Oh my god!

I'm pregnant with our baby and he fucking ruined it all!

Our baby, this wasn't good for him, I started to panic and tried to control my breathing. I looked down and tried to breathe normally as I still had a hard time breathing because of the damn pressure on my chest. Pushing everything that was inside me out. Everything that I knew, everything I that I believed in was leaving me. My hopes, my dreams, my faith… myself.

"She is just an inconvenience!"

"He is adventurous and carefree, that's what I want. I never wanted to play mommy and daddy with you."

"I never wanted her!"

I felt so helpless.

So alone.

"Bella look at me, I'm begging here." Edward sobbed.

I did as he said and I saw his eyes widening when he met mines. Seconds seemed to turn into hours as I tried to read the man in front of me. But I didn't know him anymore… I didn't believe in anything anymore. I was empty.

"Bella-" He started but I cut him off.

"Why Edward?" I whispered I didn't have energy as I felt so powerless. He looked down, thinking… he seemed at a loss of words.

Why had he done it? He had promised me forever… he fucking promised!

"Seriously, honey… I don't know…" He couldn't hold my gaze, guilt and shame all over his face. I started crying again.

How could he do this to me? TO US? WITH HER! From all the people in the world he… he… he cheated on me with her… with a person who had hurt him so badly. Did I mean so little to him? Didn't he care about me at all? Why had he lied to me all this time? He promised me! He fucking promised me forever!

He took a hold of my head and brought his forehead to mine. The instant our skin touched I felt the same unpleasant feeling covering my body. I tried to breathe to keep the nausea at bay and caught a swift of her smell in his.

He smelled like her.

Images started to fill my head, both of them on our bed. His naked body a top of hers , flesh against flesh… his mouth on her mouth, tongues touching. His fingers caressing her skin. Her hands on him as he screamed in pleasure.

I fought an agonizing scream that threatened to leave my lungs, trying to protect our baby. But at that moment I wished I could just scream, I wish a hole would swallow me whole so I could cry with abandon. I hated to be crying in front of him, it only made me feel weaker.

I felt insignificant next to him.

I tried to pull my head away but he didn't let me, he was stronger and I was nothing.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened… please believe me!"

I started to shake my head, I didn't want to hear it. I couldn't believe him. Dad was right, I had been so STUPID! SO NAÏVE! Of course he didn't love me! How could he? If my own mother couldn't love me how could someone like him? It never made sense, I knew it… he was too perfect to be real. Dad was right, love is for idiots, and love only brings heartache and problems. Why didn't I listen to him? Why hadn't I believed him?

He took my hand and place the ring there, closing it in and covering it with his in a tight hold.

"Bella, I'm so sorry… please, you have no idea… I LOVE YOU!"

"Stop." I said, I didn't wanna hear his excuses I didn't wanna listen to him. I needed to get out, I needed air and I was starting to feel nauseated again. Her smell coming from his body was still poisoning my lungs. I needed to protect us, our baby and me. I was still crying and this wasn't good for him. I started to stand up and Edward went crazy.

"BELLA! NO! I SWEAR! I DIDN'T MEAN TO!" He took a hold of my legs, he was on his knees. "PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME!"

I shook my head. I didn't believe in anything anymore. Not even in myself.

"Bella, I swear I didn't mean to, I don't know what fucking happened! I LOVE YOU! It's only you! She means nothing, NOTHING!"

He was lying, I knew it. I started walking backwards, my eyes on his. I felt so betrayed, hurt and insignificant. He followed me on his knees, telling me not to go and I got mad. I couldn't believe this, what was he trying to achieve?

"Edward, why did you do it?" I asked harshly and he just stared at me not having an answer.

Of course he didn't.

Lightening would have hit me a thousand times in a row and it would have hurt less. He didn't even have a reason, I was nothing to him, I didn't matter to him. I felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach, taking the last bit of breath from me. The last bit of my soul.

"Renee cheated on my dad" I said through gritted teeth and he flinched "she left us, I had a hard time growing up, we didn't have any money, I worked since I was twelve, saving for college and looking after my father who was broken beyond repair because of what she did."

I felt like fainting from the pain at remembering my childhood and adolescence, I remembered my father, a permanent sour look on his face. I remembered me foregoing parties and normal teenage things, and instead studying hard to get a scholarship, and working making my own pies and muffins for sale to pay for the rest to get out of Forks. So I stopped speaking and took a moment to breathe before continuing.

"And still… after growing up in a shattered home, hearing my dad curse to love almost every day and me struggling between school and work, so I could get out of there, I had hope… I had faith that someday I will find a man that would prove him wrong. A man that would love me unconditionally and irrevocably. A man who could give himself to me without hesitation. A man I trusted with my own life…" He looked down, he looked lost but I couldn't find in myself to feel pity.

"You knew this… you knew my fears, my worries, my dreams and hopes. I trusted you with them, and you didn't care? You just threw them out of the window… like trash," I whimpered "I honestly thought you'd be the last man on earth… to ever hurt me like that…" I sobbed against my will. I couldn't keep myself in check anymore, not that I had been doing it but as I said this I felt the last of me give away.

I wasn't myself anymore.

"Bella… please… I'm so sorry…" He said hopeless.

I shook my head and took his hands from my waist I opened his palm and put the ring there.

"Goodbye Edward." I said, my throat burning with the effort to say those words as the remains of my heart fought them. But I needed to start thinking with my head as my dad said. My heart would never rule me again.

I took a few steps back and Alice appeared out of nowhere, I had forgotten they were here. They had given us privacy by moving to the living room but I guess they still heard everything.

"Bella?" She whimpered.

"I gotta go." I mumbled without looking at her. I couldn't do it I didn't want more pain as I realized I had lost my entire family too. The family I never had and wished for, for so many years. I had stupidly thought that I finally got my wish but now… it was taken away from me too.

"Where are you going? You can't go alone, Bella… there must be an explanation." She begged.

"I don't want it Alice. I've had enough." I said taking another step to the door, my eyes on Edward.

"But… Bella? Wait! Don't go! Where are you going? You want me to come with you?" She took my hand and I shook my head pulling it away.

"No Alice, stay with your brother" I said in a hoarse voice "Leave me alone." I said still looking at him. I couldn't decipher his face. It was blank, his eyes were empty… he was staring intently at me. As if he was seeing a ghost, as if he didn't believe what was happening. It hurt to see him like this, it hurt to walk away from him, it hurt so fucking bad I felt the urge to scream again, I just wanted to let it out somehow, I wanted to run, to punch something, to yell, lash out, anything to make the pain go away. I wanted to die, I felt so worthless, insignificant, ugly… I wanted to stop existing I wanted to vanish in thin air. To disappear from the face of earth.

But I couldn't do that, I remembered I still had a reason to live.

I hugged myself again, protecting my stomach.

I let myself have one last glance at him. He was as still as a statue, not moving.

I dared myself a last look at his empty eyes and walked away.

I walked out of the house and looked both ways not knowing where to go and I started sobbing violently when I realized I had nothing or nowhere to go to, I was alone. I heard Esme on the doorway calling me, in that instant I spotted a cab and ran to it. I opened the door and told the driver to drive away.

"Where to ma'am?" He asked and it took me a moment to answer him.

I didn't know where to go, I just knew I wanted to go away but at the same time I didn't want to be too far.

"Toronto Coach Terminal." I told him.

I sobbed the whole way, the driver giving me glances through the rearview mirror but thankfully remained silent. Twice I asked him to stop and I threw up on the sidewalk feeling sick as I couldn't help the images again, of him with her… on our wedding day.

My wedding day…

Oh god…

Another round of tears continued.

After 20 minutes the driver finally pulled into the parking lot of the bus terminal.

"How much do I owe you?" I asked in a whimper.

"It's Ok honey, it's on me." He told me with sympathetic eyes and I cried again.

"Thank you." I said and got out of the cab.

"Take care." He said and I nodded.

I walked inside and headed to the ticket sales.

"Welcome to Toronto Coach Terminal. How may I help you?" An old woman asked.

"I want a ticket." I said forcing myself to speak. My voice was hoarse and rough from all the crying.

"Where to honey?" She asked with concern when she saw my face.

"Which one is the next bus out?"

"Our next bus goes to Ottawa, and it leaves in twenty five minutes."

"I'll take it."

Damn it! poor Bella, Edward's point of view is chapter 3 from the original story if you want to compare.

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Till next time!

Saludos!

tpec