The Strangers
Chapter 1: Changes
Two girls, one slightly taller with chestnut brown hair and hazel eyes, the other one shorter with bright golden hair and icy blue eyes, stepped into the Great Hall.
Their names, although no students at Hogwarts knew them yet, were Emily and Brianne. They had transferred from Cordial Queen's University, the best wizarding school in America.
Albus Dumbledore stood before all the Hogwarts students and announced, "Please welcome our two new exchange students. Although they are most definitely not first years, they came from another school and now must be sorted into houses different from those they acquired at the other school."
Emily began to walk towards a stool with a shabby gray hat on it. As she walked she looked at her soon to be fellow students and thought, "Holy Cow there are so many hot guys here. That one with black hair is cute and ewwwwwwwww that redhead certainly isn't. Sick he's looking at his empty plate like he wants to slobber. Oi! That one's got good eyes. Silver, that's hot. Oi again! He's looking at me!"
Draco Malfoy gasped silently as he watched the new girl- she was definitely good-looking.
Emily finally reached the stool, sat and placed the hat on her head.
The Sorting Hat groaned inwardly as he looked into her thoughts. Another hard-to-place one, and all she was telling him with her thoughts was that she liked boys!
"Boys are so hot!" she thought to the hat (it was very strange thinking to the hat), "I think I like the one with the blonde hair."
He belongs in Slytherin, the hat thought back. Do you want to be sorted into his house? The Slytherins almost all come out bad.
"OH! I love bad boys. It makes them hot," Emily exclaimed in her head.
The house mascot is a snake.
"Ew, no, I don't like snakes. But I like boys. Boys are hot. Snakes aren't."
The hat sighed. This was going to take a while…
"Um… Did I mention I like boys? I hear that Gryffindor is for brave people and I like boys, and boys are brave."
That'll do the hat thought. To himself he said, "She's definitely too stupid for Ravenclaw, and she isn't loyal enough for Hufflepuff."
The hat shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!"
The Gryffindors cheered loudly. Draco had a sudden urge to cheer, but he smashed it when he realized he was thinking the new Gryffindor was attractive.
The next girl, Brianne, walked up to the hat. Her walk was a quick funny gait.
Ron Weasley stopped stuffing his face long enough to look up –which was quite a feat for him- and thought she wasn't all that bad. She was an improvement on his current girlfriend, Lavender, anyway.
Grinning broadly, she sat down on the stool. As she sat, her robes lifted slightly, showing her mismatched socks. One was knee-high, with green and brown plaid, and the other was mid-shin with black and orange stripes.
Immediately the hat's mind was overcrowded with strange thoughts, all rolled in a senseless jumble.
"Hiya. Ohh…I'm hungry. Especially for chocolate. I need new socks. I think I should write about this in my journal tonight. Emily's in a house called Gryffi-something. I want to be in her house…"
Do you like boys? the hat thought warily to her.
"They're friends. I get along rather well with boys. But if they annoy me in any way, I sock 'em. Ooh…it's dessert and they have chocolate! Hurry up!"
The hat was puzzled. This girl seemed to be slightly smarter than the last one. She was a loyal friend, too, but chocolate seemed to be her main priority in life. There wasn't a house for chocolate-lovers!!
"Hey…that redhead boy is eating chocolate… Maybe we could be friends. He looks nice enough."
Red hair? She must be talking about a Weasley. There's only one place a Weasley can go, so I'll just place her with them. They certainly like chocolate…
"GRYFFINDOR!!"
The Gryffindors were ecstatic. Two new students, and both were Gryffindors!
As soon as she reached the table, the blonde girl grabbed all the chocolate in sight. The brunette, feeling a little more adventurous, grabbed raspberry treacle and raspberry sherbet.
"Mmm, Brianne, this treacle is GOOD!! Try some!" she cried.
(Ron made a mental note- the blonde girl was named Brianne.)
Brianne, still grinning contagiously, selected some chocolate treacle and finished it in one bite.
"It is!" she replied, and grabbed some more.
(Ron stared. He'd never met a girl who could eat as much as he could.)
He noticed Brianne was still grinning widely. He looked over at Emily, wondering if she knew.
"Er, why is she smiling like that?"
Emily shook her head. "Nobody knows. She just gets into these fits where she can't stop smiling. She also has fits where she can't stop crying. Don't worry though…it'll wear off."
Ron glanced back at Brianne. Her smile was contagious, and he started smiling too.
So did Harry…and Emily…and everyone else. The smile spread like a bad case of diphtheria. Pretty soon everyone in the room was smiling, including Snape (the sight was scary) and Filch (well, at least it looked something like a smile. Either that or he had just sucked a lemon.)
After the meal was over, everyone slowly started filing out and heading to their common rooms.
That night, in the common room, Emily came up with a very good question.
"Where are the bathrooms?"
"Um," Hermione said. "Outside… to the left, down the hall… in a corner… actually it's the right corner, but it's down the left hall."
Brianne tapped Emily on the shoulder. "Is this girl confusing you as much as she's confusing me?" she whispered loudly.
"I heard that!" snapped Hermione, while Ron and Harry stifled their laughter.
"Sheesh," Brianne looked at Hermione like Hermione was extremely weird and Brianne herself was perfectly normal (which was definitely not true).
Emily yawned. "I think I'll go to bed now."
"Nah, let's talk," Brianne said.
"Okay, but we have to talk where there are no boys because if there's boys around we can't talk about boys." Emily said, eyeing Harry and Ron suspiciously.
"Why in the world would we want to talk about boys?" Brianne said contemptuously.
Nevertheless, the girls went to their dormitory, which they shared with Parvati, Lavender, and Hermione. On the way up the stairs, Brianne winked at the boys.
Ron felt himself turning red.
Up in the dormitory, Brianne and Emily started a conversation with Parvati and Lavender about parentage, while Hermione sulked on her bed and glowered at Brianne.
"We're both Muggle-born," Emily said, about herself and Brianne.
"But it does have its advantages," Brianne cut in. "We know all about electricity, and-"
"Oh, Muggle boys are hot," Emily said dreamily, looking at the ceiling.
Brianne giggled. "Emily has had major crushes on boys. Me? I don't really like LIKE any boys, I'm just a friend to them. I get along rather well with boys, actually."
(Hermione glowered.)
"Except for when they annoy me and I have to punch them," Brianne added as an afterthought.
Lavender sighed. "None of the Gryffindor boys are even remotely cute. And some of them pay absolutely no attention to girls- like Ron."
"The redheaded one?" Brianne said thoughtfully. "Hmm, I don't blame him. Girls can be pretty silly and complicated."
"Well, I'm ready for bed," Emily announced. "Where do you brush your teeth?"
"Um," Brianne said in a mock imitation of Hermione. "Down the hall, through the wall, over the statue's head, under the staircase, and the bathroom is in the left corner- I mean the right corner- or is it on the ceiling?"
Hermione was very red and you could almost see the steam issuing from her mouth, nose, and ears.
Emily tried not to laugh. "Okay, well I'm going to find a bathroom."
"Okay," Brianne said cheerfully. "Have fun!!"
Emily walked out of the room. At the top of the stairs she finally let out the laughter she had been holding in and you could hear it echo all throughout Gryffindor tower. She had a very strange laugh. She hated it. Everyone lied and told her it sounded great, but she thought it sounded like a donkey running, stopping for breath, not being able to breathe and coming back to life with a snort. Sometimes she was so engrossed in her laughter you couldn't even tell she was laughing except her mouth was wide open and her face was turning red from lack of oxygen. She especially laughed this way around Brianne, who, in Emily's eyes, was extremely funny.
Well, back to the girls' dormitory. Hermione fumed silently, turning even redder, and almost exploding with anguish.
"I don't see what's so funny," she snapped, jumping up and running from the room.
Brianne stared after her. "Wow, some people. I'm going to bed." Immediately she conked out.
The other two girls followed, a little more gracefully, and soon all was quiet in Gryffindor tower.
Meanwhile, Emily, who had just walked out of the bathroom, having finished brushing her teeth, saw a pair of silver eyes in the darkness and screamed.
Back in the Common room Harry and Ron heard something funny sounding.
"Is that, that new girl that seems a little boy crazy?" Harry asked Ron.
"I think so," said Ron.
"Do you think she needs help?" asked Harry (his saving people thing had just kicked in).
"No, she's probably laughing again," Ron said off-handedly.
"Oh," Harry said shrugging, "You're probably right. Her laugh sounds like a donkey running, stopping for breath, not being able to breathe and coming back to life with a snort. Sometimes she seems so engrossed in her laughter you can't even tell she's laughing except her mouth is wide open and her face is turning red from lack of oxygen."
"Hmmm… I wonder where that came from?" Harry said, puzzled.
Ron shrugged.
Suddenly a hand clasped over Emily's mouth and her scream was cut off.
"What the cow was that?" came a boy's voice, "If that was a scream it was the strangest one I've ever heard. It sounded like a donkey running, stopping for breath, not being able to breathe and coming back to life with a high-pitched whistle!"
The boy let go of Emily's mouth and she turned to look at him. She gasped.
"Oi, you're hot," she blurted before she could stop herself.
Draco just looked at her wanting to say the same thing back but knowing if he did he would be: outcast by the Slytherins, hated by his father and probably murdered by some Death Eaters-
The Short Diana, one of the two brilliant authors of this story, suddenly appeared in midair next to him.
"No, no, no." she frowned, grabbing him by the ear and shaking him. "This is a HUMOR story!! That is too angsty!! So, now you will add to your little list of things of what will happen if you tell Emily she's hot-" The Short Diana glanced at Emily. "Oops, I just ruined this whole scene. Sorry 'bout that. Here-"
The Short Diana whipped out her wand, said an incantation, and wiped the last little bit of dialogue out of Emily's mind.
"Anyway, as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself… Draco, you will now add to your little list of things-"
She tiptoed and whispered something in his ear.
"Oh, okay." Draco nodded.
The Short Diana smiled and disappeared.
REWIND…
Draco just looked at her wanting to say the same thing back but knowing if he did he would be: outcast by the Slytherins, hated by his father and probably murdered by some Death Eaters, plus then his chocolate bar would melt from lack of being eaten!
He sniffled at the thought.
"Do you have a cold?" asked Emily. She was worried that if he kissed her that she might get his cold and she didn't want that no matter how hot he was.
"No." said Draco coldly.
"Fine Mr. Icee," said Emily angrily, "I'm going to bed," Emily started walking back toward Gryffindor Tower.
Draco sniggered. "Mr. Icee? You didn't even spell it right."
"What are you talking about?" said Emily, "I can't control the fact the Tall Diana can't spell right."
Draco fought back another laugh. Holy Jolly Rancher, this girl was hot and strangely smart. Apparently there was more to her than boy crazyiness.
"HA! Now you spelled crazyness wrong," Emily said.
"Well you didn't spell it right either, and besides it's not either of our faults. Once again, Tall Diana spells wrong!" he exclaimed.
"Well now, I think…" Emily began but her sentence was cut off as she fell to the ground.
Draco rushed to her side. He thought she was dead but then realized she was snoring. It sounded like donkey running, stopping for breath, not being able to breathe and coming back to life with a loud rumble.
Draco laughed and shook her awake. She was quite funny and very strange.
"What happened and who are you?" she asked pointing her finger at Draco while it was in a position that looked remotely like a gun.
"Ummm… you're getting tipsy. I think you should go to bed," said Draco warily.
"Good night!" said Emily suddenly springing up and running down the corridor towards the common room.