A/N: My first Camp Rock full length oneshot. It's an implied Ness. I wasn't sure if I liked the idea of Tess and Nate…because at first I was like Naitlyn! But I'm kind of like in the middle now. I like both and have written both. You won't find any Naitlyn yet, because I haven't posted the oneshot yet…but it will be up soon. Um this was supposed to be a drabble, but then it took on a life of its own and became four full pages of written fanfic. It might be a bit OOC, but I think it worked itself out alright. Enjoy! R&R! Thanks! –Mac
Disclaimer: I don't own CR.
My Hand In Yours
Once everyone had cleared out after Final Jam, Tess came back to sit on the end of the stage, her legs hanging off the edge. It was nearing curfew and she should have been safely tucked away in her cabin, but she wanted to be alone. At that moment this was the most isolated place she could find. Her first choice had been the lake, but she saw Mitchie and Shane heading that way. So, she settled for the empty stage.
She could feel her heart breaking. It was something she would never be able to heal, having her heart broken by her mother.
Tess pulled herself further up onto the stage and brought her legs up to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her knees and dropped her head down to rest on them. She barely noticed the tears that had began to trickle down her face.
The sound of footsteps drew her head back up. She glanced around, trying to find the source of the sound. After a moment, she found it. Someone had come from backstage and was crossing the stage behind her. She couldn't see who it was in the shadows but as they crossed into the light she saw it was Nate. When he saw her he stopped for a moment, a frown setting in on his face, but then he continued forward.
"What are you doing here?" He asked casually, crossing to one side of the stage.
"I could ask the same of you," Tess snapped back.
Nate held up one of the two guitars that had been sitting on the edge of the stage and answered simply, "Getting our guitars."
"Oh," Tess was shocked by his tone. It wasn't angry or snippy, it was actually friendly.
"So," Nate walked over and sat next to her, "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in your cabin or something?"
"I wanted to be alone," Tess glared at him pointedly.
"Why?" Nate didn't take the hint.
"Is there some reason why you care?"
"I'm just curious," Nate responded, "Because when I came here, on the last night we used to stay up all night in our cabins hanging out before we had to say goodbye the next day."
"I'm really not in the mood for all of that," Tess said softly, "Not that anyone is missing my company."
Nate tilted his head and watched her for a moment quietly. Tess looked up after he was silent for awhile. She frowned at how intensely he was staring at her.
"What?" Tess questioned.
"You've been crying," Nate stated.
Tess scowled on edge once again, "I have not."
"Your eyelashes are wet," Nate laughed lightly as Tess reached up to check for herself and she found that her face was moist. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"To you?" Tess responded incredulously.
"Yeah," Nate nodded, "I've got the time, and I'm a good listener."
Something about the way he treated her nicely, even after she snapped at him, made her want to open up to him. And that wasn't something she did, ever. So, rather than evading his question, as she would have normally done, she answered. She told him everything, right down to the last detail.
"My mom has never been around. I understand why. Her music is important to her, her career is important to her. I understand, music is important to me too. But…I just wanted her to be proud of me. I wanted her to be there, and then she was, for the very first time. And I wanted to do good, I wanted to show her that she had a reason to be proud that I was her daughter," Tess took a deep breath and continued, "She was there, but she wasn't there for me. I thought she was putting me first for the very first time, but I was wrong. I've never been first in her life. I just wanted her to look, to see me. I was so caught up, I was trying so hard…that's why I messed up. And that's why I was finally able to see that no matter what I did, I would always be a disappointment in her eyes. I would never live up to her standards, I would never be good enough for her." Tess laughed cruelly, her next words coming out snide and mocking, "Because she's TJ Tyler and she deserves only the best, and if you're not the best then she wants nothing to do with you, even if you are her own daughter."
Tess was crying again. She wiped roughly at her eyes, hating herself for allowing herself to be so weak as to cry in front of someone else. She had never allowed herself to voice how she felt about her relationship with her mother. But with Nate, though she barely knew him—other than what she had read in the magazines—she felt comfortable enough to speak her mind even if it meant crying a little. No one had ever asked her if she was okay or if she wanted to talk about her problems or feelings. She had been taught to bottle it all up and pretend to be strong, even if you were falling apart on the inside. She couldn't do that any longer. If she kept it up she would break, more so than she had upon her realization that her mother was never going to be the mother she wanted—the mother she needed.
Nate wasn't sure what to say, he had never had issues with his parents. So, he tried to be comfortable as best he could, "I know it might not mean much, but before you ran off stage you were doing really well. You have an amazing voice and if you're Mom can't be proud of how talented you are, then it's her with the problem, not you."
Tess swallowed, "I'm not as good as Peggy or even Mitchie. I wouldn't have won, even if I hadn't messed up."
"Maybe not," Nate conceded, "But that doesn't mean you aren't good, and it doesn't mean that you shouldn't be proud of yourself."
"What does it matter if I'm proud of myself?" Tess countered. "It doesn't make everyone else see that I'm good."
"Okay, diva," Nate chuckled, "I'll put it in simpler terms. If you believe in yourself, it shows. If you believe you're a star, you'll shine, and other people will take notice. But what does it matter what other people think? If you're doing something you love their approval isn't necessary. Your mother's approval isn't necessary."
"I don't just want her approval," Tess admitted, "I want her to love me."
Nate reached over and took her hand in his, "I'm sure she does love you. Sometimes, it's just hard for people to show that they care. But that doesn't mean they don't."
Then and there, all of Tess's problems didn't seem as bad, and all he did was take her hands in his. It wasn't so much that he was holding her hand, it was the gesture that it represented. It said that he understood what she was feeling and that she had every right to own those feelings. He wasn't telling her that she needed to suck it up and tough it out. Knowing that he cared enough to listen made all her problems seem solvable when they had seemed impossible just hours before. She could have been more grateful for that.