Disclaimer: I do not own a thing...
A/N:This is for Wordofwyrd, we had a chat once about there never really being an apology of any sort from Morgan after Penelope was shot, so here's to that apology, followed by a little wishful thinking...
Tried to make this set within what we have in series, and that includes Lynch =(, but you never know, we never saw that night so... wishful thinking for all =P
Hope you all like it, especially you Nath! ;)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- After The Battle -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Penelope looked around the room; she didn't think she'd be back here so soon, much less alone. She turned to look over at the bed; one she knew full well she should be resting in but she was restless and emotional and all laying down would do was break what fragile holds she was holding onto completely.
She was in pain, hell she knew she should be seeing as it wasn't even a week after she'd taken a bullet, but she was emotionally hurting. Just knowing that someone purposefully set out to end her life made her view of the world turn on its axis and lose part of its meaning to her.
The events that ran up to it sticking like daggers in her already pained chest, sucking the air from her lungs with their freezing coldness.
She rested against the windowsill, tracksuit bottoms on, hospital gown on her top half, moonlight silhouetting her form and she put a hand to her head, she didn't want to be here any longer, it was driving her crazy, she wanted to run, but the only way she was getting out was with someone other than herself signing the discharge papers like Reid had the day before.
"So they got you all kitted out again then," Derek's voice came from the door and he watched Penelope's paled face look up at him; "Shouldn't you be resting?"
"I can't," She said and felt herself begin to crumple, her break down from earlier at her apartment being continued, "I'm sorry," She said as she shakily rubbed the tears away, trying to keep a brave face on, yet the violent shake of her hands showed how much of mess she had become since the team had brought her back.
Derek didn't hesitate, he walked in, dropping yet more flowers onto the table and reaching her, wrapping his arms around her weakened body and held her as she fully broke down.
"Shh," He said as he kissed into her hair again just like earlier when Battle had came back for her, he knew she wasn't going to cope without a proper breakdown and now he was thankful he'd trusted his gut and came back. "It's okay, Baby Girl."
"I feel like such a fool," Penelope sobbed into his chest. "I'm so stupid."
"Hey now, no you don't justify what that bastard did as your fault. He did that, you were being a good person, he was covering his ass and eliminating something he saw as a threat."
Penelope shook her head and pulled away, "Not that," She admitted, "I went on that date to prove you wrong," she paused, her chest heaving fiercely, "I got myself shot because I wanted someone like you to just notice me."
Penelope was trying to get free, but Derek refused to let her go, he couldn't do that, he needed her, he needed to apologise and he needed the opportunity, but right now he was in shock at what she had just told him.
"You notice me for all the wrong reasons now," She finally said, her legs weakening a little at the end of her admittance.
"I want you to listen to me now, Baby Girl," Derek started, his tone gently yet firm, "I've always noticed you, God it's hard not to notice someone as amazing you, and I'm sorry that my jealousy and me not supporting you in your decision led to you going on that date. If anyone's guilty at you getting shot, it's me. If I'd have been supportive, you wouldn't have gone and rearranged that date, you'd have cancelled it and let that be that and maybe you wouldn't be hurting."
"You just didn't seem to believe that someone that wasn't like me would want to date me, and that hurt," Penelope admitted, allowing Derek to take her to the bed and lay her down.
He knew she was admitted back to the hospital for shock and the only way she'd recover in anyway was to rest and recuperate. And he was prepared to do that at all costs to get his baby girl restored and not looking at the world as the darkest place alive.
"It hurt so bad," She sobbed as she now lay in his arms on the hard hospital bed, yet the more she cried the more she felt Derek's vice like hold around her, he just held her, allowing her the time and comfort to find her peace of mind again. "I should've trusted it, that I had a bad feeling for a reason."
"Everything happens for a reason," Derek told her gently, keeping her cuddled into his side, "You said that I didn't get what that meant, well I think I do. I now know how important you are to me, and it shouldn't have come to this to realise that."
"Just believe in the saying and nothing else matters," Penelope spoke back, her tone dripped in emotions.
The silence came to settle in then, a calmness washing through that hadn't been able to flow knowing that Penelope was in hospital, that her attacker was still loose, that she was suspended, that her entire life was in upheaval. However, now, now it seemed that life was slowing back down.
Derek just cradled Penelope in his arms, refusal to let her go occurring. He planned to have her in his arms until the morning and he would remain here against all of her dismissal she needed him. Yet it didn't come as silence came, she just remained there and for once Derek felt like his life made sense.
"I love you," Derek whispered as she finally calmed, he knew it could fall on deaf ears like earlier, but he needed her to know nonetheless, "So much."
Penelope sucked in a calming breath, "I love you too," She paused, the moment revolving around them, "But I can't ruin us, Handsome, not right now, not with what just happened. I need you more than ever and I can't take any risky chances. I need you to understand that you mean more to me now than ever."
Derek closed his eyes, he owed her, "I understand, Baby Girl."
Penelope pursed her lips, closed her eyes tight at just hearing the pain in Derek's voice as he finally let it run free.
"All I want is the best for you," He told her, his hand running down back soothing, "I will wait for when you're ready, because one day you will be. Doesn't matter how long, I will wait until you're ready."
For the first time since she was shot, Penelope felt life was making sense. That her and Derek weren't just going to live through the throes and just forget this happened, they were well and truly getting all emotions out of their systems, letting the other know exactly how the incident that nearly made her lose her life had left them feeling.
Smiling she finally felt the most at ease than she had in over a week, since Battle entered the scene. All the tension and animosity she had for Derek's behaviour dispersed and she finally settled against Derek's chest.
"I promise not to take forever," She vowed and all Derek did was push a kiss to the top of her head and allow the silence to settle in.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- After The Battle -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-