I remember the screams and flashes of lights. I think the screams I heard were mine, but it's difficult to tell now. All is passing away. I'm sitting in Azkaban and trying to summon my thoughts, the time is running slowly, it almost stopped. One minute in Azkaban is like an eternity. I think I'm getting mad, because I began to talk to myself and I don't think it's the wrong thing to do. All the other prisoners started like that, they tried to maintain the sanity by talking to themselves and now I can only hear screams. I have an urge to tell my story, my time is running and I know that the end is near. There is none here, who can listen, there is none who can understand. The other prisoners are mad or getting mad, which is almost the same thing, but the walls of Azkaban and Dementors have witnessed a lot of tragic stories. Mine will be just another piece in the picture of broken lives.
The was a time when I was free, I was a respected member of the wizarding world. No one would have believed if someone told them that I would end up in Azkaban, they would probably laugh. I had everything: money, looks, friends, another people's respect. What else should you wish for? However it wasn't enough for me, I deserved more then that. I didn't want another people's respect, I wanted them to fear me, I wanted power. I know that most of the people will call me crazy, but there were some, who understood me, who shared my ideas, believed in the same things as I and there was the One, who offered me all I wanted. I can remember that evening like it happened yesterday.
It was a rainy afternoon when a young wizard knocked on my door and when I opened it then it was the moment when I changed my life. The wizard was a good looking fellow, this was my first thought of him, but at the next moment I felt the aura of power, which surrounded him. I never heard about him before, but I knew he was born to be the first, he was a true leader, who knew how to control the others. His speech was short, he had no time for compliments or empty, unnecessary words. Tom Riddle (it was his name) offered me all I wished for, if I was willing to support him and serve him. I said yes without hesitating, after he finished the last sentence of his speech i hurried to agree, because I was afraid that he might change his mind. That offer was a opportunity of my life and even now in Azkaban I didn't regret saying yes that rainy evening.
You all must think that it was foolish, but his ideas were the same as mine and I still believe it was a chance of my life. I was encouraged, there was a chance for me to prove that I was superior, there was my chance to make all my wishes come true. I can't describe my state of mind the next few days after that agreement, I was exited, filled with joy and at the same time nervous and afraid. My head was full of questions: What if they won't accept me? What if I'm not worthy that honor? All these question popped into my head, I couldn't concentrate on work and was very grouchy. I lived in my own world of thoughts and no one was welcome into it. My colleges giggled they told me that I was in love. Those fools! They could never understand so great ideas, like that wizard described to me! From the other side they got it right. I was in love, I was in love with that style of life i was about to choose. It was an obsession, that burned me from the inside. i woke up in the morning, wondering when I can join the rows of Death Eaters and it was my last thought before I felt asleep.
When I got to the place I saw figures in black, they were gathered around THAT wizard. He stood in the center of the circle and it was his natural place, he was a ruler, he was the most powerful and the feared one! The initiation was pompous. And I was even a bit disappointed, now I think it happened because I was waiting for that moment to happen for too long. My Lord asked me to say the oath and I would never forget them: "I swear to serve Lord Voldemort. I will be his truthful follower and a loyal servant. I shall never disobey or doubt in his opinion, for his word is beyond any doubt. He is My Master and I'm now his loyal servant!" Then I got branded and the Dark mark adorned my arm. A lot of people said that the dark mark was awful, but they can't understand the feeling of having it on your arm! I never felt more proud then that day, because I was a part of something great and big. I felt the Dark Mark burning my skin and it was like it burned my whole being, my sole and mind!
Oh no, he is coming to me, he is getting closer. I can't continue the story, because he is on near my cell now. i feel his presence and I got that horrible sick feeling! Everytime he visits me I think that I failed when the aurors caught me,. i could have killed myself then i wouldn't have suffered this fate! The lights flashes in front of my eyes and I shout! It's like a chain, I begin to shout and the other prisoners join this horrible chore. He is getting close, he is coming...