Somebody that I used to know
If Daud could go back in time, he would tell his younger self to no trust The Outsider, to just refuse his "gift" and to stay away from everything related to him.
Unfortunately his wish is destined to remain that, a wish; Daud is powerful, but that's far from his abilities.
When The Outsider showed himself to him for the first time, he thought he had been dreaming: he wasn't inside his room – or better, the room that man had kept him for all that time- anymore. Actually, he had no idea where he was; he could see fragments of buildings floating in the air forming a series of platforms that must have conducted somewhere. Grass was growing between the blocks.
That place seemed old, unkempt. There was something strange even in the air; he was probably near the sea, because Daud could smell the salt, the sand, and he could almost hear the sound of the waves.
He wandered aimlessly, jumping from a platform to another.
He didn't know what he was looking for, but there was something, a voice, telling him that he had to go, that he had to find him.
He had no idea who that him was, but that didn't stop him.
It was like an external force was guiding his steps, like a puppeteer with his creations.
Later he would have found out that that was exactly what he was: a puppeteer who wanted no more than to be entertained by his playthings.
He was the first one to not be intimidated by The Outsider: for him, he was just a strange creature living in his dream; in his black eyes he saw the ones of his kidnapper.
He looked straight at them, sinking into the abyss of all the eras they had witnessed.
- My dear Daud-, the figure called him, making him shiver.
That voice, that sound, they weren't from that world. He had never heard anything like it and still part of him recognized it as familiar.
It was suave, but it also had something that Daud didn't quite trust – his experience with that man had taught him something.
- Are you a witch?- was the first thing he asked to the creature, making him chuckle.
There was something wrong with that laugh, something hidden, but Daud would realise it only years later, when it was too late.
- I've been many things in many lifetimes. Now I am known as The Outsider-.
Daud had already heard that name before; he remembered that a lot of people accused his mother – where was she now? - of being marked by him, whatever that meant.
Somebody had dared to say that Daud was even the result of her worship, but she had always denied those gossips.
The Outsider offered him a gift.
He had been observing him for a while; he said he fascinated him, that he was destined to do great things.
He had seen the fire burning inside Daud; his gift would have given him the power to extend it even more.
Power. Daud liked the sound of that word.
If he had power he could have escaped, for starters, and then he could have made a name for himself.
He would have taken revenge on everyone who had harassed him and his mother, using the gift given by the entity they hated so much.
With those thoughts in mind, he accepted The Outsider's offer.
Daud opened his eyes; he was in his room again.
But there was something… his hand… it burned.
He looked at it and he saw a symbol marked on his skin; it was glowing.
He heard a knock on the door and he instinctively flinched. It was him, that man; from his voice he seemed drunk.
The mark was glowing like crazy, fueled by Daud's fear and anger.
The door flew open, and then everything became a blur.
When Daud got back to his senses, the man was on the ground, a pool of blood forming around him.
His eyes, now dead, were still on the little boy, as if they were accusing him.
You did this, you're the assassin.
Daud ran.
The Outsider visited him soon after.
Daud had expected to be scolded, to lose his power, but he didn't say anything about the man.
After a lot of hardships the boy had successfully returned home – how weird that word sounded now - but he found it destroyed, and there was no trace of him mother.
- They have condemned her-, The Outsider revealed him, - They burned her inside her own house-.
That night Daud cried.
The Outsider offered him some solace in the form of timeless stories of sea and whales and ships and lands far away.
Daud listened attentively, captured by his voice; for a moment he forgot the pain, until he found himself falling into sleep's loving embrace.
When he woke up The Outsider wasn't with him anymore. He tried to call him, to thank him, but every attempt he made to make him appear had been useless.
He didn't want to be alone; he was already starting to think about the dead man's eyes, or were those his mother's? He couldn't already tell the difference.
Where was The Outsider? He really needed him.
He needed somebody who could distract him, who could make him feel at ease. He needed somebody he trusted.
Daud smiles bitterly when he remembers that he used to trust that black-eyed bastard.
How foolish he had been.
He had decided that he would have avenged his mother; he was going to find whoever was responsible for her murder and he would have killed them.
It wasn't good – or normal - for a child to have such dark thoughts, but Daud didn't know that and, if he did, he wouldn't have cared anymore: he was tired of being harassed, of being hurt. He wanted to be a great man, somebody whose name only could have sent shivers down people's spines, somebody strong enough to not suffer anymore.
When The Outsider appeared again, for some reasons he looked amused.
- Where do you think you're going with that?-, he asked, looking at the knife little Daud was holding in his hands.
The boy didn't reply. He had suddenly remembered how his mother used to scold him whenever he started a fight with the other kids.
What would she have thought if she had seen him right now?
No, she wasn't there anymore, she couldn't see him, she couldn't say anything. They had killed her and now he was going to serve them the same fate.
His expression hardened: he had made his choice. There was no turning back.
- They are at the same inn where you used to take refuge when you went pickpocketing down the streets. Do you remember?-.
Daud nodded, focused. He didn't even question how The Outsider knew that.
He took some steps ahead, towards the place, the he stopped.
He looked at The Outsider again and he asked:
- Will you be back?-.
- It depends on what you'll do- was the reply.
Daud didn't even try to hide his disappointment, but he didn't say anything out loud. Instead he turned his head back and he focused on his mission.
As he watched Daud go, a smile found his way on The Outsider's lips.
- This will be interesting-, he stated.
He started to fade into the Void, but he still kept his eyes on the young boy.
Yes, very very interesting.
When he first set foot in Dunwall, Daud remained speechless.
It was so different from what he was used to, but he didn't mind it that much; that kind of atmosphere was actually far more suited for him.
The first thing he did was finding a shrine. He had learned about the runes and he had studied the depth of his powers.
He was fully aware now that he had been in front of a god for all that time; he wasn't a kid anymore.
Still, he wasn't exactly an adult either, despite his tendencies to try to act like one.
As he reached the shrine he knelt before it, taking carefully the rune between his hands and caressing it with reverence.
Not much time later The Outsider appeared before him, and Daud was really glad he showed up.
It sounded really improper, after all he was a mere mortal and he was a god, but he was the closest thing to a friend Daud ever had.
He was grateful for what he did to him and he was showing it with nothing less than devotion, which seemed to please The Outsider.
As time passed, however, Daud started to see the deity under a new light.
He started to crave his presence even more; he couldn't stop admiring every detail of his face, from his lips, his defined cheekbones to his deep dark eyes.
He started to wonder how many things those eyes have seen and if The Outsider would have showed them to him someday.
He had irremediably fallen in love with The Outsider.
He was young, not even in his twenties; he hadn't realised how dangerous his attraction was.
It was inevitable, though, after all Daud didn't know nobody aside The Outsider; it was just the natural consequence that he would fall in love with him.
He doesn't remember anymore who started their first kiss but he does remember the sensation of The Outsider's lips on his, the smell of sea that engulfed his nostrils, that mysterious flavour of his mouth – he had never been able to understand what it was.
Meanwhile he was staring to make a name for himself. He already had a bounty on his head and even though such risk should have made him worry, it didn't.
It was thrilling, actually. Daud had never felt more alive than when he was taking somebody's life.
Selecting the target, learning their habits, following them, choosing the right time to strike, everything had to be perfect.
He didn't know anything else: since he was just a child he had only witnessed violence and injustices.
He was starting to forget his mother; her voice was silence, her face a blur.
He remembered only her eyes, or maybe those belonged to the dead man.
Whenever he went to a shrine, The Outsider appeared before him.
He would take Daud's face between his hands, their lips centimetres apart, and he would smile.
There was something wrong with that smile but Daud realised it too late.
The Outsider always praised him for his good work – but was killing really worth those words? - and he would let Daud worship him in his own way, kissing him and touching him like nobody ever dared to even think.
He didn't feel pleasure like humans did, but he knew how much those kind of gestures meant to them, so he could allow those few moments of intimacy, as long as he kept things interesting.
Daud was twenty-five when he took with him the first – soon to be called - Whaler.
The kid was just a street urchin, running away from some guards – he had probably tried to pickpocket them.
They had cornered him, but they hadn't been able to land a hand on him because Daud killed them first.
The kid didn't flinch; the poor thing had probably seen worse.
He was looking right at Daud's eyes and he didn't move away. He looked like he was expecting to be killed.
There was something about him that reminded Daud of himself, when he was the same age.
He held his hand – still bloody - towards the kid.
He didn't say anything; he didn't need to: the child understood and he took it.
After all this time Daud still doesn't know what had come to his mind when he did that, but he can't say he regrets that decision.
All the orphans he has found on the streets have a place they can call home, now.
Sure, their lifestyle isn't the best, but the world is a cruel place and it isn't merciful towards the weak.
He had taught them how to survive; that's the best he can offer.
They deserve better, he knows it.
-I have to admit it, you really surprised me back there-, The Outsider had said, that night.
Daud rolled his eyes, but he was secretly happy about it. There was nothing that satisfied him more than being praised by his god.
The bastard smiled. He knew it.
- If I was mortal…-, he started, caressing Daud's cheek, -… If I could fall in love with somebody, it would be you-.
Daud made the stupid mistake to believe him.
Three days had passed since the last time The Outsider showed up, but Daud had to put up with his bizarre behaviour for so long that he wasn't concerned about that sudden disappearance.
Three days became four and then a week.
No matter what Daud did, no matter how many shrines he visited or how often he did it, The Outsider still continued to ignore him.
Why was he acting like that? Was he angry at him? But he didn't do anything!
The more Daud thought about it the more he was confused. He didn't understand how The Outsider would abandon him without even giving him a reason, without even saying goodbye.
He tried to not show it, but that really hurt him.
If the Whalers – they had recently come up with that name - noticed that there was something upsetting him, they didn't say anything. Thankfully.
It would have been difficult to explain them his relationship – current, past, he didn't even know that - with the deity, even though he was pretty sure somebody already suspected that there was something going on between them.
Years passed and The Outsider was still silent.
Daud was starting to grow old and he was becoming more and more bitter.
He wasn't searching for the god anymore; he had stopped trying to get his attention.
He knew, now, he understood: he wasn't interesting anymore, that was the reason The Outsider was ignoring him. He had grown tired of him, so he had abandoned him.
Knowing why he had been left alone didn't make it hurt less, though.
When The Outsider showed up again it wasn't for pleasantries. He had come with a mission for him, with a name. Delilah.
My old friend he had called him.
If Daud had less self control he would have strangled him, or at least he would have tried to.
It was weird, knowing that The Outsider was watching him again – or maybe he had always been there, observing him from afar.
He wasn't going to put up a show for him, though; he only wanted to get over that mission as soon as possible.
Killing the Empress had changed him; he tried, but he couldn't deny it.
He was tired; he didn't want to fight anymore, he didn't want to take any more lives. He just wanted to find a quiet place where to spend the rest of his life alone, but still he wasn't going to add "ignoring The Outsider's request" to the long list of decisions he regretted making.
Deep down he was also fully aware that, even if he had wanted, he wouldn't have been able to refuse the deity, and the bastard knew it. That was surely why he had come to him.
He wondered what he thought when he looked at him. Did he even remember the time they had spent together?
Could it be that he just wanted to offer him a chance to redeem himself?
Of all the things he expected, Billie's betrayal hadn't been one of them.
He decided to let her go; he had watched her growing up, he didn't have the guts to kill her – he wasn't sure if that was good or bad, given his position.
It hurt as much as when The Outsider left, but Daud knew better than to get distracted by it.
He still had a mission to complete; there wasn't time to think about anything else.
The Outsider had told him that his end was near, but what this end would have turned out to be was still to be established.
His voice didn't transpire any emotion, not that Daud was expecting anything different.
It still annoyed him, though.
Once he took care of Delilah he returned to his hideout, to his home, but he wasn't in any condition to relax: The Outsider's new pet was coming for him, he was certain of it.
It was only a matter of time.
Daud takes a cigar, but then he puts it immediately inside his pocket. He doesn't feel like smoking.
Now he's inside the Void, and The Outsider is in front of him.
- Daud-, he says.
He had never addressed him so bluntly, but there is something different in his voice, something that Daud catches but doesn't quite understand.
- He's coming-, he continues, - Soon we'll see how your story will end. I must say, I'm really looking forward to it-.
Of course he does. What are humans for him, after all, if not his source of entertainment, his little playthings?
- I loved you- is all Daud says.
He knows that it doesn't change anything, but he can't hold it back anymore.
His voice is full of resentment, he's aware of it, but he doesn't care anymore. It's only a petty victory – but was it really? - and for once he's content with it.
The Outsider doesn't reply soon, and for Daud it seems as an eternity passes – they are inside the Void, so it isn't that unlikely as it may seem.
- I know-, he says, then, and Daud is back to his office.
At first he doesn't speak, he doesn't even move; then he takes the same cigar he had put away earlier.
He could really go for a smoke, now.