Lord of The Desks
Disclaimer: I am a lazy person and I do not enjoy writing these so this one is for the story. I do not own any of the characters associated with Lord of the Rings. Anything that has to deal with Lord of the Rings I do not own, and this piece is not intended to offend anyone. It should be taken in humor purposes only, and not in any other context. However, I do own my computer, my opinions, and my sexiness.
A/n: I got this from when we were in Advisory, and the teacher asks my friend "Why do you have an aversion to sitting at your desk?" and I answered "Sir, but her desk is evil, and it yearns to get back to it's master". By the time I was in my last period class my demented contorted mind had come up with this. Be warned this is on crack.
Long Ago, there were 9 desks that were created for each of the social classes. The nerds, outcasts, bullies, cheerleaders, punk rockers, goths, preps, teenies, and the choir kids each received one desk that held the power of the school moral, popularity, grades, and general power.
However, the jocks feared of there social power if the nerds had the same amount of power as they did. Therefore, forged the desks, and they made one desk with power, and next to the pre chewed gum, and tagging(Rita was here in 1921) , the Captain of the football, Jared Blake, team tagged 'One desk to rule them all'
One day, the nerds tired of jocks hanging them by there underwear, and giving them excessive amounts of wedgies abusing there power began to revolt. One by one, nerds stopped doing others homework, stepped out of there calculators, and geometry books, and took notice. This day was known as the 'Nerd Revolt'. Numerous amounts of brawls and scuffles broke out amongst the jocks and the nerds. Many resulting in the nerds hurt and in peril. Until, James Edger, Captain of the Chess Team came up with a plan of defeat and power for all nerds which would end the fight. The nerds raided the science lab. A unsuspecting jock came up to a nerd, and the nerd took acid, and threw it out onto the floor, and the nerds mad at the jocks made them dilute the acid. Mad, Jared Blake went to his evil desk, and a power surged through it. Meanwhile, the jocks diluted the acid wrong, and everything caught on fire, and an explosion rang across the room. James Edger ran into the room with Jared Blake, and saw the terror that was happening as he looked at the power bubble. Without thought he threw a combination of some different elements, and the bubble blew up killing him. Two things remained the desk and Jared Blake laughing.
Although, Jared Blake could not stay at school forever, and one day graduated. The story of the desk passed on. By the year of 2003, the story had become nothing but a fable told to unsuspecting freshmen to scare them, but only one thing remained. The desk that read 'One desk to rule them all'. It had been shoved off from class to class no one knowing what it meant, and the desk yearned to get back to the football team.
Deacon Andrews had vowed when he first came to the school that there would be no pre chewed gum left on any desk before he died. For about 20 years, he had taught the school one sophomore gum chewing class after another. His favorite punishment was scraping gum off the desks, and the sophomores enjoyed chewing gum because they knew that they would get away with there rapid gum chewing.
Unfortunately, Deacon Andrews gum chewing eyes became better and better, and as he got older he would start making sophomores clean under the desks for any thing. He possessed 10 gum scrapers, and unlike any other teacher for detention he made them scrape gum. While, he hung out in the teachers lounge, and when you were finished he personally checked all of the desks, and if any was left he would make you chew it.
This is where the story began DeeJay and Jay Cee were cleaning gum under the desks for as Deacon Andrews put it "Exercising there right of human communication and connection in time where older and wiser people were trying to educate there minds so that they would be able to use there communication skills better fashion." , which means they talk to much.
"Hey Jaycee" DeeJay said "Do you realize how much tagging there is under these desks. "Maria was here in 1971. What's your say"
"I would do mine , but it's kind of R-rated and i'm afraid Deacon Andrew is gonna walk in"
"Man people put some weird stuff underneath these tables. We are all a bunch of idiots.Geometry sucks"
"DeeJay, can't you find anything better to talk about."
"Idiots R Us.Class of 1932 where idiots are us. Hello future classes"
"DeeJay stop being a dork"
"Me and Daniel. let's skip that one. Michael got me pregnant.Shaina leaves her tribute to herself"
"DeeJay come on concentrate on the gum scraping"
"Rita was here in 1921.One desk to rule them all"
"Really, one desk to rule them all"
"Yup"
"Idiots, maybe I should scrape your tables.You are so easily distracted. and mine don't have that that much tagging"
"Hey Jaycee one desk to rule them all look i'm sitting in the" DeeJay sits in the desk.
"What the fu?" The World begins to spin, and DeeJay is no longer in the evil desk, but in middle earth.
Meanwhile, back in the classroom
"DeeJay, this is no time to play around" Jaycee looks up from her work, and finds DeeJay no longer in the desk. She goes over to the desk, and sticks her finger in it , and she finds herself next to DeeJay in middle earth.
"Hey, Jaycee, this desk is a great tool to get out of religion. Shit, I love this desk"
All of a sudden, they see three other girls running toward them. They know the other three.
"Jaycee.DeeJay.How did you get here?" says the shortest one named Gwen who is too short to even be considered a hobbit.
"Cleaning desks. and you?"
The girl with long dark brown hair named Nina answers "We were buying jewelry off the street when-"
The girl with red hair named Rachel cuts Nina off and said "When, we read one choker to rule them all"
"We read one desk to rule them all" JayCee said.
All of a sudden they see Frodo, the 2 short idiots, and Sam
"Look Gwen, it's your size people world"
"Hello, we are looking for the prancing pony do you know where that is?"
"Wait.your looking for the strip club on east ave. Man ya'll midgets like to get your freak on" Gwen said
"We are supposed to meet Gandolf there, but we do not know where to find it"
"Is Gandolf some kind of stripper cause I know the girl called Pollolf."
"What is this strip club you speak of" Frodo says.
"The strip club is" DeeJay notices Frodo's feet "Damn you got some crusty feet. I mean shit that is just nasty. Those are worst than my tap teacher's and he has some crusty feet. Great just what we need short people with nasty feet. Damnit get a fucking pedicure."
"And this pedicure you speak of" Frodo remarked with his devilish blue eyes gazing into DeeJay's
"My goodness, are you in special fucking ed"
"And this special fucking ed is what?"
DeeJay looks at Jaycee for support and she looks back at me and starts speaking.
"Obviously these are toddlers"
"Toddlers that want to go to a strip club" DeeJay said with confusion.
"Who doesn't?" Rachel remarked
"Good point"
"So, let's baby sit them. we don't have anything else to do" Gwen suggested
"Hell No Bitch"
"Well, there lost and we're lost"
"No. correction. we're not trying to get to a strip club. We are trying to get home"
"Click your heels together three times and say 'There's no place like the ghetto. There's no place like the ghetto" Jaycee says
DeeJay follows her directions "There's no place like the ghetto. There's no place like the ghetto..Damnit. It worked for fucking Dorthy"
"Maybe Dorthy was on crack"
"Goodpoint"
"So, we got no other choice, but to follow the midget children"
"Shit"
"Can we follow you guys"
"Sure" Frodo says smiling
The girls all think in unison. 'Frodo must be gay'
And, with that they were off to something that they would live to regret forever. And, they would also live to regret they bought jewelry off the street and talked in class. But, that is a completely different story.
A/n: Hey Ho Howdy Hey!!! I know the grammar is messed up and I'm not even going to lie and pretend it's not, but tell me what you think of the idea in general.
Thank you.
Disclaimer: I am a lazy person and I do not enjoy writing these so this one is for the story. I do not own any of the characters associated with Lord of the Rings. Anything that has to deal with Lord of the Rings I do not own, and this piece is not intended to offend anyone. It should be taken in humor purposes only, and not in any other context. However, I do own my computer, my opinions, and my sexiness.
A/n: I got this from when we were in Advisory, and the teacher asks my friend "Why do you have an aversion to sitting at your desk?" and I answered "Sir, but her desk is evil, and it yearns to get back to it's master". By the time I was in my last period class my demented contorted mind had come up with this. Be warned this is on crack.
Long Ago, there were 9 desks that were created for each of the social classes. The nerds, outcasts, bullies, cheerleaders, punk rockers, goths, preps, teenies, and the choir kids each received one desk that held the power of the school moral, popularity, grades, and general power.
However, the jocks feared of there social power if the nerds had the same amount of power as they did. Therefore, forged the desks, and they made one desk with power, and next to the pre chewed gum, and tagging(Rita was here in 1921) , the Captain of the football, Jared Blake, team tagged 'One desk to rule them all'
One day, the nerds tired of jocks hanging them by there underwear, and giving them excessive amounts of wedgies abusing there power began to revolt. One by one, nerds stopped doing others homework, stepped out of there calculators, and geometry books, and took notice. This day was known as the 'Nerd Revolt'. Numerous amounts of brawls and scuffles broke out amongst the jocks and the nerds. Many resulting in the nerds hurt and in peril. Until, James Edger, Captain of the Chess Team came up with a plan of defeat and power for all nerds which would end the fight. The nerds raided the science lab. A unsuspecting jock came up to a nerd, and the nerd took acid, and threw it out onto the floor, and the nerds mad at the jocks made them dilute the acid. Mad, Jared Blake went to his evil desk, and a power surged through it. Meanwhile, the jocks diluted the acid wrong, and everything caught on fire, and an explosion rang across the room. James Edger ran into the room with Jared Blake, and saw the terror that was happening as he looked at the power bubble. Without thought he threw a combination of some different elements, and the bubble blew up killing him. Two things remained the desk and Jared Blake laughing.
Although, Jared Blake could not stay at school forever, and one day graduated. The story of the desk passed on. By the year of 2003, the story had become nothing but a fable told to unsuspecting freshmen to scare them, but only one thing remained. The desk that read 'One desk to rule them all'. It had been shoved off from class to class no one knowing what it meant, and the desk yearned to get back to the football team.
Deacon Andrews had vowed when he first came to the school that there would be no pre chewed gum left on any desk before he died. For about 20 years, he had taught the school one sophomore gum chewing class after another. His favorite punishment was scraping gum off the desks, and the sophomores enjoyed chewing gum because they knew that they would get away with there rapid gum chewing.
Unfortunately, Deacon Andrews gum chewing eyes became better and better, and as he got older he would start making sophomores clean under the desks for any thing. He possessed 10 gum scrapers, and unlike any other teacher for detention he made them scrape gum. While, he hung out in the teachers lounge, and when you were finished he personally checked all of the desks, and if any was left he would make you chew it.
This is where the story began DeeJay and Jay Cee were cleaning gum under the desks for as Deacon Andrews put it "Exercising there right of human communication and connection in time where older and wiser people were trying to educate there minds so that they would be able to use there communication skills better fashion." , which means they talk to much.
"Hey Jaycee" DeeJay said "Do you realize how much tagging there is under these desks. "Maria was here in 1971. What's your say"
"I would do mine , but it's kind of R-rated and i'm afraid Deacon Andrew is gonna walk in"
"Man people put some weird stuff underneath these tables. We are all a bunch of idiots.Geometry sucks"
"DeeJay, can't you find anything better to talk about."
"Idiots R Us.Class of 1932 where idiots are us. Hello future classes"
"DeeJay stop being a dork"
"Me and Daniel. let's skip that one. Michael got me pregnant.Shaina leaves her tribute to herself"
"DeeJay come on concentrate on the gum scraping"
"Rita was here in 1921.One desk to rule them all"
"Really, one desk to rule them all"
"Yup"
"Idiots, maybe I should scrape your tables.You are so easily distracted. and mine don't have that that much tagging"
"Hey Jaycee one desk to rule them all look i'm sitting in the" DeeJay sits in the desk.
"What the fu?" The World begins to spin, and DeeJay is no longer in the evil desk, but in middle earth.
Meanwhile, back in the classroom
"DeeJay, this is no time to play around" Jaycee looks up from her work, and finds DeeJay no longer in the desk. She goes over to the desk, and sticks her finger in it , and she finds herself next to DeeJay in middle earth.
"Hey, Jaycee, this desk is a great tool to get out of religion. Shit, I love this desk"
All of a sudden, they see three other girls running toward them. They know the other three.
"Jaycee.DeeJay.How did you get here?" says the shortest one named Gwen who is too short to even be considered a hobbit.
"Cleaning desks. and you?"
The girl with long dark brown hair named Nina answers "We were buying jewelry off the street when-"
The girl with red hair named Rachel cuts Nina off and said "When, we read one choker to rule them all"
"We read one desk to rule them all" JayCee said.
All of a sudden they see Frodo, the 2 short idiots, and Sam
"Look Gwen, it's your size people world"
"Hello, we are looking for the prancing pony do you know where that is?"
"Wait.your looking for the strip club on east ave. Man ya'll midgets like to get your freak on" Gwen said
"We are supposed to meet Gandolf there, but we do not know where to find it"
"Is Gandolf some kind of stripper cause I know the girl called Pollolf."
"What is this strip club you speak of" Frodo says.
"The strip club is" DeeJay notices Frodo's feet "Damn you got some crusty feet. I mean shit that is just nasty. Those are worst than my tap teacher's and he has some crusty feet. Great just what we need short people with nasty feet. Damnit get a fucking pedicure."
"And this pedicure you speak of" Frodo remarked with his devilish blue eyes gazing into DeeJay's
"My goodness, are you in special fucking ed"
"And this special fucking ed is what?"
DeeJay looks at Jaycee for support and she looks back at me and starts speaking.
"Obviously these are toddlers"
"Toddlers that want to go to a strip club" DeeJay said with confusion.
"Who doesn't?" Rachel remarked
"Good point"
"So, let's baby sit them. we don't have anything else to do" Gwen suggested
"Hell No Bitch"
"Well, there lost and we're lost"
"No. correction. we're not trying to get to a strip club. We are trying to get home"
"Click your heels together three times and say 'There's no place like the ghetto. There's no place like the ghetto" Jaycee says
DeeJay follows her directions "There's no place like the ghetto. There's no place like the ghetto..Damnit. It worked for fucking Dorthy"
"Maybe Dorthy was on crack"
"Goodpoint"
"So, we got no other choice, but to follow the midget children"
"Shit"
"Can we follow you guys"
"Sure" Frodo says smiling
The girls all think in unison. 'Frodo must be gay'
And, with that they were off to something that they would live to regret forever. And, they would also live to regret they bought jewelry off the street and talked in class. But, that is a completely different story.
A/n: Hey Ho Howdy Hey!!! I know the grammar is messed up and I'm not even going to lie and pretend it's not, but tell me what you think of the idea in general.
Thank you.