But the truth of the matter, no matter how much he hated it -and he really did hate it- he was only human. He had emotions and he had times where he doubted himself. He even got scared.
He hated showing that side of himself, however. When people think you're insecure, they walk all over you. Take your stuff, take your money, your jet, your house, your suit. Soon enough, you're left with nothing.
A key point that stood out in his mind, however, was not what he would be loosing. Not what would surely be taken from him -even though he wouldn't be present to witness it- and given to people that didn't deserve it, and would surely create chaos.
No, what stood out in this mans mind was who he would be leaving behind. The lovely Ms Pepper Potts. A pang stabbed through his chest at the thought of the beautiful redhead.
He watched with wistful and panicked blue eyes through his helmet as the portal got nearer and nearer. With every inch the nuke seemed to weigh more and more.
"Shall I try Ms Potts, Sir?" Jarvis' voice rang throughout the helmet
Tony hesitated. He didn't know if this would make it worse for her or not. But, he had to admit he was a selfish man, and if he was going to condemn himself to death, he had to at least hear her voice one last time.
"Sure, why not" he replied as casually as he could muster
He wasn't sure if he wanted her to answer or not. The man could barely breathe as the phone rang-
"Tony what on earth are you doing?" her sharp and clearly terrified voice rang through the helmet after four rings
"I'm saving the world" he replied, straining himself to sound casual "Don't worry Pepper. I'll be fine"
"Why don't I believe you?" her voice cracked. He was silent, furiously holding back tears. He couldn't- no he wouldn't break. "Tony tell me the truth"
"I have to do this Pep" he finally said
"Why?"
Tony held back a sigh, and opted to ignore her question. The portal was getting closer and closer and he knew he only had seconds until they would be cut off. And then he would be gone.
"Pepper I need you to listen to me, and believe every word I'm saying because I mean them" his voice cracked and he cleared his throat "I love you. I love you so much. I have to do this, if I don't stop them they might hurt you, Pepper. And I couldn't have that happen" he was unaware that his system was beginning the malfunction, and was now Pepper wasn't the only one that could hear him. The rest of the Avengers team could hear every word. "You mean the world to me, okay Pepper? And I'm so sorry I have to do this" his voice cracked and he made no effort to stop it "I love you"
"Tony please-" the transmission cut off as he flew through the portal
"3 percent charge remaining"
"Good. Keep it going"
"As you wish" Jarvis replied
They lapsed into silence and Tony could feel himself getting weaker and weaker. His arms went limp as the suit was finally powering down and he forced himself to smile as he watched the alien base implode because of the nuke.
Seconds later, he was falling and everything went black.
"Come on Stark" Natasha hissed, staff poised in her hand, ready to close the portal
"Where is he?" Thor asked, scanning the skies
"I can't see him" Steve announced solemnly "Close the portal. He's not coming back"
Natasha hesitated briefly, then plunged the staff forward into the sphere, causing the entire portal to shudder and begin collapsing in on itself.
"You need to land this right now!" Pepper snapped
"Miss we aren't cleared for-"
"Now! My boyfriend owns this plane, and I have the right to fire you! Now land it!" her voice was steely but her eyes gave away the raw panic. Tears streaked down her cheeks as the pilot did as he was told. He opened the batch and she stumbled her way down the ramp and towards where the other Avengers were standing.
"Where is he?" she asked shakily
"Pepper" Natasja said softly "He... He's not coming back"
"No! That's a lie! He has to come back!" the redhead looked to the skies desperately and watched as the portal finally closed completely. Her heart sank, but lifted when she saw a familiar red and gold suit coming towards them.
"See! He's fine!"
"He really did it" the others beamed
"Wait..." Natasha murmured when she saw Peppers face fall "Pepper what's wrong?"
"He's not flying!" she exclaimed "Hes falling!"
"How can you tell?"
"He's not lit up!" she exclaimed
Thor began swinging his hammer to fly up and grab him, but seconds later Hulk flung himself from another building, catching Tony and latching onto another building. They continued falling and he let to of the building, putting himself between the ground and Tony as they smashed into the cold, hard, unforgiving concrete.
He released the smaller man and Tony slid off of him and landed harshly on the cement. The others rushed over and Thor ripped off his mask. After a moment of checking Steve sighed, sitting back when he was unable to find a pulse.
"No!" Pepper cried defiantly from where she stood, in the same place as before having been too terrified to move. Within a second she was running towards him, and within the next second she was skidding across the ground to his side. She scrambled over to him and leaned over him, her years slipping off her cheeks and landing on his own.
"Tony?" she asked "Tony wake up!" she received no response, and his arc reactor was completely light free "Tony!"
When she received no response she hung her head, pressing her cheek against the cold metal covering his chest.
"I love you" she whispered, closing her eyes "Please don't leave me"
She laid in silence for a few moments, only opening her eyes when she heard a faint whirring sound. She made a confused sound and when she leaned up her gaze focused on Tonys newly opened eyes.
The first thing Tony noticed was Steve and Thor near his head
"What happened?" he demanded "Please, tell me nobody kissed me"
Steve chuckled and Thor rolled his eyes
"It's good to have you back soldier"
"good to be back"
Steve gave the scientist a pointed look, then glanced at Tonys chest. The scientist looked up and smiled when he saw Pepper.
"Hey" he coughed "What's up?"
"Wh-What's up! Seriously! I don't know wether to hit you, or kiss you!"
"Hit him!" came a loud call and one "kiss him!"
So, with those calls in mind, she made a mental note to hit him when he had healed -and of course wasn't wearing the suit- and instead leaned up and pressed their lips together.
"I love you"
"I love you" he replied
"Ready Stark?" Steve asked "We still need to nab Loki"
Steve held out a hand to the scientist, whom grasped it firmly and allowed Steve to help him up.
"Thank you" he smiled "For the help"
"Not a problem" he replied with a smile, and the team took off to get Loki