~Two Weeks Before~
"Really Knight, you should just kill yourself. It's not like anyone likes you or anything," my friend Logan said as he punched Kendall in the gut. Kendall was in the eleventh grade like Logan and I, but that was where the similarities ended. Kendall was a huge nerd who was in band and AP classes. Kendall also had braces, which is how he got the name metal mouth.
He also only had one friend. I can never remember his friend's name, but only because he isn't important. Having only one friend made it easy for not only us, but other kids to pick on Kendall. He was such an easy target and he stood out.
"W-what have I ever done to you guys?" Kendall whimpered clutching his stomach.
"You exist," I said before dumping the smoothie I held in my hands onto Kendall's head, which earned a laugh from Logan and a few of the kids passing by in the hallway. We often had an audience when we dealt with Kendall. Everyone enjoys a good show, and seeing Kendall get the tar beat out of him often drew a crowd.
"Come on James - we are going to be late for fifth period," Logan said. I nodded and the two of us headed off to another boring class.
~Present~
"You wanted to see us, Principal Rocque?" I asked as Logan and I entered his office.
"No, I didn't. But he did," Principal Rocque said gesturing to his right. That was when Logan and I noticed another student was in the office with us. He was Latino and he looked to be a little shorter than Logan with black hair and chocolate brown eyes.
"Who is he?" Logan asked Looking at the boy.
"And what does he want with us?" I added.
"He wants to talk to you about Kendall Knight," Principal Rocque said giving us a cold glare that made us cringe.
"Carlos, I will be in Mrs. Wainwright's office if you need me," Principal Rocque said rising from his seat.
"Wait, you're leaving us alone?" Logan asked raising his eyebrow.
"Yes, Carlos requested to speak to you alone and I am going to honor his request. The two of you are to stay here and listen to everything he has to say. If you leave or even attempt to leave I will suspend you for a month. Understand?" Principal Rocque said giving us another glare from his doorway. I couldn't understand why he was so pissed at us or why we had to listen to this Carlos kid so I just nodded.
"So as you two should know, Kendall was my best friend," Carlos said as Principal Rocque exited the room. So that was the name of Knight's only friend.
"So, is that what you wanted to talk to us about? Great - let's go," Logan said.
"No, I wanted to talk about why the two of you killed my best friend," Carlos said clinching his fists at his side. I looked at him confused. Yeah, Kendall had committed suicide four days ago, but why was Carlos saying we did it?
"We didn't pull the trigger," I said.
"No, but you might as well have," Carlos snapped.
"What do you mean?" Logan asked.
"Your actions caused Kendall to end his life. Every insult, every punch you tossed at him, shattered him a little more," Carlos said. I could see the tears forming in his eyes.
"We aren't the only ones who bullied him," I said. It was true though. Several kids bullied Kendall.
"That may be true, but the two of you bullied him the most, and your comments a few weeks ago are what pushed him over the edge," Carlos accused, making me think back to the day Logan and I had told Kendall to kill himself. I felt sick, but I couldn't leave.
"Kendall left this note behind. I am going to read it to the two of you and I want no interruptions - got it?" Carlos commanded. Logan and I could only nod.
When we are kids, our parents and teachers always tell us how it is important for us to be ourselves. To never be something we are not. But what they don't tell you is when you get into high school, being yourself is the last thing you want to be. Because if you don't fit in with everyone else, then you will suffer the worst four years of your life. You will be beaten and humiliated for things you have no control over.
It seems that as we get older, we lose a bit of our humanity. Every day, as I was beaten either physically or verbally, people would just watch. Not one person would step in and try to help me. Well Carlos would, but he couldn't always be around to protect me. James and Logan have been my biggest tormentors ever since freshmen year.
I never understood why I deserved their abuse. I had never once insulted or hurt them in any way but they felt the need to hurt me every chance they could get. A few weeks ago they hurt me more than they ever had. They basically made my life seem worthless and their comment that no one would miss me made me realize that it was true. Really the only two people who would miss me would be my mom and Carlos. So I really had no reason to stay alive. If I was dead, my mom would not have to struggle supporting two people like she was now. And with me out of the way, Carlos could be popular. I know I am only holding him back. So as soon as I finish this letter, I am taking the gun that I got last week and ending my miserable existence. But Carlos - I wanted to write this letter for you to thank you for being my best friend these past twelve years. You made my life better and I will always be grateful for that.
Love Kendall.
As Carlos finished the letter I glanced over at Logan who, like me, was crying.
"You two didn't even know the first thing about Kendall, did you?" Carlos asked as his tears made their way down his face. His question made me think. No, we had never gotten to know Kendall. We looked at his outward appearance and decided he would be our target.
"N-no," Logan choked out.
"Well I would like to inform you," Carlos snapped.
"Every Saturday Kendall volunteered at the hospital. He loved music, so he would bring his guitar and perform for the kids who had cancer. Kendall's dream was to be a musician," Carlos said as he hugged Kendall's letter.
"His dad walked out on his mom when he was four, so ever since then, it has just been him and his mom. Mrs. Knight works three jobs trying to keep her and Kendall from ending up on the street, but also to put Kendall through school. She wouldn't let him get a job because she wanted him to focus on school," Carlos said.
"I met Kendall my first day of Kindergarten. My family and I had just moved to Minnesota from California. I didn't know anyone and to top it off, my ADHD and the fact I had to wear a helmet to protect my head didn't help me make friends. By the time recess came around I was known as the weird kid in the helmet. I was sitting by myself underneath a tree when a little boy with blonde hair approached me.
He asked if he could sit with me. Since he had been the first kid to talk to me, I eagerly agreed. By the time school was over I had made an amazing best friend. For the next twelve years Kendall would be there for me for the good and bad times. He was there for me when my dog Sparky died. He was there when I broke my arm.
One day in fifth grade I ripped my pants and couldn't call home so Kendall ripped his pants so I wouldn't be the only one laughed at. He would stay up late to tutor me when I was struggling.
Kendall had a heart of gold and he did not deserve the hell you two and the rest of those lowlifes put him through," Carlos finished right before he started sobbing again.
"Carlos, we had no idea," Logan mumbled. I could tell he was trying hard not to break down.
"Of course you wouldn't! You assholes were too busy hurting him to get to know the real Kendall. The boy with the heart of gold who would give you the shirt off of his back if you needed it," Carlos growled.
"Why?" Carlos asked. His voice was now vulnerable. It took me a second to realize what he was asking.
"Truthfully?" I asked. When Carlos nodded, I proceeded.
"I wish we could tell you we did it because we had horrible home lives or because we used to be bullied, but none of those are true. We bullied him simply to fit in," I said. I was disgusted with what we had done. We truly were monsters. Carlos had been right - we might as well have pulled the trigger ourselves.
"This world lost an amazing person because of what you two did," Carlos said shaking his head.
"We know," Logan said looking down at the ground.
"I just wanted you to know the full extent of your actions," Carlos said making his way to the door.
"Next time you two feel the need to bully a kid for being different, I want you to reflect back on what your actions did to Kendall. That because of those actions, Mrs. Knight lost her son. Kendall will never achieve his dream. Those kids at the hospital will never hear another of Kendall's songs. And you are the reason I lost my brother," Carlos said.
"Carlos, wait," Logan called stopping Carlos from leaving.
"What happens now?" Logan asked.
"I talked to my parents and they agreed that we could move to Florida. It's just too painful here in Minnesota for me," Carlos said before he exited the room.
It had been three weeks since Carlos had opened mine and Logan's eyes to the monsters we had been. In that time, a lot had changed. Carlos moved away like he said he would. Kendall's mom also moved. She decided to go to New York to be with her sister. Logan and I had started volunteering at the hospital.
Like Kendall, I wanted to be a musician, so every Saturday we go and put on a show for the kids. But the biggest change of all was how we treated others. We went to every kid we had ever bullied and apologized for the hell we had caused them. Whenever we see another kid getting bullied, we no longer stand on the sidelines - we stop it.
We can never apologize to Kendall, and we will regret what we did to him for the rest of our lives, but we can make a difference in the lives of other kids. And we would do it for Kendall.
Author's Note: I do not own BTR
So after my last one shot I got a lot of PM's and a few reviews asking for more stories like it so that is how this fic came to be.
I was also asked why I always make Kendall the victim. You see, Kendall reminds me a lot of myself and often times, I stick things I have gone through into my stories. A little of my past is even in this. So it is easier to use Kendall.