"Do you still blame yourself?"
He is silent. You take a seat on the tree stump and cross your legs. He is ashamed to admit it, as he should be. Be ashamed for the past and the present. His brown fairy-like wings twitch nervously. You always thought that it was kind of cute how they responded to emotion. The pocket of your red skirt holds a pack of cigarettes. In a short moment, you've already lit up a stick and take a drag.
"With what happened with Horrus?" You cringe at the name and almost squeeze the ash out of your cigarette. He lightly kicks the lush grass beneath his feet. "Nah, not anymore, I mean, I still feel bad about it but I don't really blame myself for letting my feelings be known." Rings of smoke puff out of your mouth as you simply stare at him. You're not sure how you feel about this and take another hit.
"Don't get any ideas, doll, remember what I told you." You remember. He politely suggested that you simply stay friends and not venture back into the romance side of your relationship. The chemicals clouding in your lungs begin to sting so you let out a heavy grey exhale. He had no trouble staying with the sweaty horseman over the sweeps so how come he won't give you a chance? Does he forget how well off you two were before all the drama started? You pull the stick from your red-painted lips before sucking in its essence again.
"Don't tell me she's still trying to re-fin-dle this thing y'all never even had." You knew that voice. The water bitch and her awful fish puns. You had already told her to take that pitchfork of hers and shove it. Unfortunately, she didn't take your advice. You could've sworn she already left to go on her pointless adventure but here she is haunting you again. She greets you with that stupid shark tooth grin. In turn, you return the favor by flipping her off. There was no one you despised more than this fish-face right here.
"Oh, hey, Meenah," Don't talk to her Rufioh, "what are you doing over here? I thought you went off to stop that English guy."
She bounces the dual fork on her shoulder and points to the bag on her back, "Forgot a few things but I'm going back out with my crew and were gonna take that dude's ass down." Typical. She boasts of her power which amounts to dirt when comparing it to the time lord. You can't help but laugh when the images of her imminent death play in your mind. You take a drag.
"Somefin funny, Megido?"
"私は、あなたが死に出血します知っていることの喜びを持つことになります. 私はそれに今夜自慰行為でしょう.あなたが死ぬときはオーガズムの瞬間です."
You're amused by her struggle to decipher your ancient tongue. "You'll do what tonight?" She sucks her teeth and gives up, "Whatever I don't have time for this. This chick's bout to save all y'all so I hope it's a celebration you're throwin' tonight, Megido."
With that, the stupid girl leaves, directing your attention back to the bull-horned man you wanted to talk to in the first place. His blank white eyes are on you. He seems disappointed.
"Damara, one day I'm not going to be the only one who can understand you. You don't know what she and everyone else might do if they hear what you've been saying."
"They will avoid me as usual. All I ask for is pleasure. And it seems no one has the guts to fuck me."
"See, doll, that's what I'm talking about," his voice unexpectedly raises and you shrink inwardly. He's never raised his voice to you. Ever. "You wonder why I don't feel like getting back together with you and this is partly why." His gaze drifts to the ground. The action seems so forlorn but why is he so upset? He is the one who left you to go have an affair. If anything you should be yelling at him. You take a hit.
"You're not the girl I remember."
"But the girl you remember was not enough to please you, yes? She was a meek little nothing who wouldn't ever think about such things. She only sought out happiness." You couldn't take it anymore. How could he not realize? "Rufioh, don't you see? You are a part of my change. You made me who I am." You take the cigarette from your mouth and toss it on the forest floor. Red flats stomp out the flame and smush the white stick.
"That's what I meant when I asked you earlier." You stand. You're done with this. You walk away from the scene. There should be a stabbing in your chest. Maybe even an aching or breaking feeling. You feel nothing. It doesn't come as a surprise. Love is dead to you. Your heart died a long time ago.
All that remains of your soul is sex and cigarettes.