A/N: Yeeeh, Happy Birthday to me! Well, since my birthday isn't very spectaculair at the moment, since I am home alone, I thought I could give you a present for my birthday. By uploading the first chapter of my new story! Isn't that great? I hope you will enjoy it and enjoy it. Be nice because it is my birthday after all :P.

And as always, note that English is not my first language, so if you can't handle my grammar mistakes, don't read it. Then you don't have to handle them ;). If you can handle them, feel free to point out the mistakes, so I can learn from them.

Summary: When it looks like everything is finally okay with Ryan and the team again, some terrible things happen to Ryan. Will he be strong enough to keep his head above water? Or is there no reason to do so any longer? Set somewhere in season 7.

Natalia stared through the glass window to her friend. He sat leaning forward, staring at some evidence at the table. But he didn't really look like he was processing it. He was just staring. He hadn't been himself for the whole day. He had separated himself from the others and was awfully quiet. He had also made a few mistakes he would have never made any other day. Something was wrong with Ryan, Natalia was sure about that now. But what was exactly wrong with him?

'Mr. Wolfe!'

Ryan looked up, startled.

'Do you have a moment? We need to talk.'

'Yeah, sure H.'

'I've heard some complaints from your colleagues about your work. You have made multiple mistakes already. At first you were late this morning, then you put the wrong evidence with the wrong case and lastly it seems you have lost your ID card.'

'I know H and I'm sorry.'

'What is wrong, Ryan? Normally, you would never made this mistakes.'

'There is nothing wrong, H,' Ryan assured his boss.

'Are you gambling again? Or do you still have some problems with the Russians? Be honest to me, Ryan.'

'No! No! Neither. Really H. I just almost haven't slept all night, and when I finally did fall asleep I slept through my alarm.'

'All right then, I give you the benefit of the doubt, for now. But if you still act like this tomorrow, I will have to take further actions.'

Ryan nodded. 'Thank you H, it won't happen again.'

'And find your ID card, Ryan. You know how dangerous it could be if they fall in the wrong hands.'

Horatio walked out of the room and Ryan dropped his shoulders in defeat. That could never be the result of a bad night of sleep, Natalia thought.

Just when Natalia wanted to walk towards Ryan, to ask what was wrong, she heard someone behind her.

'Hey Natalia,' Calleigh said happily. 'Are you busy?'

Natalia turned around. 'Hey Calleigh. Eh… No, I'm not busy actually.'

'Perfect! You can help me with the pile of DNA samples that needs to be processed then.'

Natalia followed Calleigh to the DNA lab, to process the evidence there. Calleigh gave her the Q-tips with some blood on it.

'Can you compare these to the sample I gave you this morning?'

'All ten?'

'Yeah, I told you it was a pile, didn't I?'

'all right then,' Natalia said whilst starting with the first Q-tip.

'Well, this one isn't a match,' she said a few minutes later.

'Not even related?' Calleigh asked.

'Nope, nothing.' Natalia took the second Q-tip and wanted to start processing it, when her eye fell on the label.

'Hey Calleigh, there is no name or date on this one.'

'Really?' Calleigh asked surprised. She looked at the label and saw that Natalia was right.

'Who collected these?'

'Ryan… damnit, that is like the tenth mistake he has made this day. I'm going to talk to him.'

Natalia grabbed Calleigh's arm. 'Calleigh, wait.

'What for? These are rookie mistakes, Natalia.'

'I know. But Horatio has just talked to him. Don't you think that is enough for now?'

'Horatio doesn't know about this mistake yet, Natalia. Ryan needs to answer for those mistakes.

Maybe he is gambling again or something, who knows!'

'We always assume negative things about him, Calleigh. Please don't do that again. He has just started to trust us a little bit more. If you do this we are back at the beginning.'

'Yes, but what if he really is gambling? He could endanger the case!'

'He told Horatio he just had a bad night of sleep and Horatio has given him a day. We can still talk to him tomorrow, if it is still necessary.'

Calleigh looked at Natalia skeptically.

'We still have eight more DNA samples to process Calleigh. Lets first process those.'

'All right then. Maybe you are right and we do assume too much. But if he still acts like this tomorrow, I definitely am going to talk to him about it.'

…

Ryan was sitting at the bench in the locker room and was staring at his locker. His work day was over and he felt awful and couldn't image that this was ever going away again.

His colleagues would probably be mad at him by now, for all the mistakes he has made today. Hell, he was mad at himself for making all those rookie mistakes. And then Horatio had come to him to ask for an explanation. Luckily he had sort of talked himself out of it, at least for today anyway. He really had to act normal, tomorrow and not make mistakes again. Otherwise he would not have a choice to tell his boss, or he would probably lose his job. And he really didn't what that. Definitely not now.

He could have explained it to Horatio today, he had wanted to, but he just didn't dare. Ryan was scared he would have started crying in the middle of a building full of adults, right in front of his boss. No, that really would have been terrible!

A hand stroked Ryan's back and Ryan looked up, startled.

'Hey Ry, are you alright?'

Natalia sat down next to Ryan.

'Yeah, I'm fine.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. I'm sorry for all those stupid rookie mistakes I have made today.'

Natalia took Ryan's hand and squeezed it softly.

'Don't worry about it, Ryan. Everyone can have a bad day, once in a while.'

'Thank you.'

'You know you can tell me anything, don't you?'

Ryan nodded. 'I know.' And Ryan really did know he could trust Natalia and tell her anything. He just didn't know how. And so he stood up.

'See you tomorrow, Natalia.'

'See you tomorrow, Ry.'

…

When Ryan had left the locker room, Natalia's phone rang. She looked at the display and saw it was Alexx who was calling.

Natalia frowned. Why would Alexx call her? She thought. She picked up the phone uncertain.

'Hello?'

'Hey Natalia, is that you? It is Alexx.'

'Hey Alexx, yes it's me. What can I do for you?'

'It's about Ryan. I am worried about him. He is having a hard time at the moment. I just hoped you could look out for him when you are both working.'

'Off course I can! But why is he having a hard time?'

'He didn't tell you?'

'No, but he did act strange today.'

Alexx sighed. 'Oh, my poor baby. It is his story to tell Natalia. But I don't think he can keep it a secret after today.'

'Do I need to go to him, tonight?'Natalia asked alarmed.

'No, I don't think he will be home tonight anyway. But please do look out for him tomorrow.'

'I will, Alexx.'

'Thank you honey.'

Well, this was chapter 1. What did you think about it? I hope you enjoyed it! And feel free to write a review, it would be a nice present for my birthday :).