Brokenhearted

Chapter 1: Something's Wrong

Disclaimer: I do NOT own them but it is my life's ambition.

A/N: I refuse to acknowledge Dani Beck's existence. So with that in mind, here's a story that has one of the oldest plots but I promise it's good. It has some twists and turns and it is devoid of frizzy haired, mumbling, pain in the ass bitches who steel men who they never would have a chance with if they didn't trick them like the whores they are. Okay that's enough of my rambling. The timeline for this is if season eight started and Olivia didn't have to leave to go undercover, if that makes any sense to anyone and now on to the story.

She strode in, placing her bag on the table she turned to Elliot. She glared through him as if she could read his mind. She took her seat and turned her attention immediately to paperwork.

Elliot watched her with interest and just a little bit of fear. Olivia was definitely in a mood and a wrong move now could get him a pen thrown at his head or something… bigger. He decided to take a chance. He leaned forward and spoke softly "Good morning Liv," he began. When she didn't bother to look up and didn't even seem to react at all he asked "Is everything okay?"

She looked up then and made direct eye contact "I'm fine," she told him firmly. Then with a pointed glance in the direction of the clock on the wall she added "I have to be at court in ten minutes. See ya," and with that she was gone.

Elliot watched her leave, mentally chastising himself when his gaze rested probably too long on her ass, before turning back to the papers on his desk. He couldn't help wondering what was wrong with her this morning. She had her days and bad moods just like any human being but she was never so short with him. He was broken from his thoughts when they were vocalized for him by the other two occupants of the squad room.

"What do you think is up with Olivia this morning?" Fin asked as he leaned back in his desk chair.

"Maybe she's been brainwashed by the government," Munch suggested "Or maybe, it's just her time of the month."

"That is incredibly sexist man," Fin retorted "If I ever doubted why you couldn't hold down a marriage, I don't anymore."

"What?" Munch protested "I'm only saying that it could be her time of the month."

"That is really a sexist thing to say John," Elliot put in. Whether it was her time of the month or not Olivia had never acted like that unless something was very wrong.

"Everyone's against me," Munch threw up his hands.

"We aren't against you man," Fin corrected "We're against your sexist way of thinking."

Elliot nodded but his mind was somewhere else. He would have to ask her when she got back from court, why she had such a rotten attitude today.

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Olivia sat on the witness stand, giving her testimony against Robby Wilson. The guy was a real sick freak and Olivia was really hoping that the jury would convict. The evidence against Wilson was overwhelming. Olivia pushed all other thoughts out of her mind as she spoke "When we arrested the defendant, he confessed to the murder of his wife Valerie Wilson and the couple's two children."

"Detective Benson," Casey began "Was the defendant properly advised of his rights before he confessed?"

"Objection your honor," defense council rose almost too eagerly "Alleged confession."

"Fine," Casey grumbled as the judge ruled to sustain the objection. She took a deep breath in an effort to calm the part of her that wanted to jump over the defense table and rip Stewart Mill's head off. She hated this particular lawyer more than any other and she had to get past that anger if she had a prayer of winning this case "Was the defendant properly advised of his rights before he ALLEGEDLY confessed?"

"Yes," Olivia answered firmly "He was."

"And at anytime Detective," Casey stole a glance in Mill's direction "Did the defendant ask for a lawyer."

"No, he explicitly told my partner and I that he didn't want or require a lawyer," Olivia told Casey.

"Thank you Detective," Casey turned her attention to the judge "No further questions your honor," Casey walked perhaps a step too close to Stewart Mill as she curtly whispered to him "Your witness."

Mill approached the witness stand. He stared Olivia down coldly, trying to shake her resolve. He knew exactly how he would do that too. He cleared his throat "Detective Benson," he began "You testified that you advised my client of his rights."

"That's correct," Olivia told him. She felt unsettled by this man and she knew that she couldn't afford to be unsettled, not now, not after last night.

"Was it you who advised him or did your partner?" Mill asked.

"Objection," Casey stood to her feet "Relevance."

"Your honor," Mill protested "I'm trying to prove that my client's rights were violated."

"Yes," the judge agreed "But I don't see the relevance in which officer read him his rights when he was taken into custody."

Mill muttered something before continuing. Questions about Benson's partner were out until he could establish a reason for asking them "Why did you go to the defendant's house Detective?"

"We had gotten the DNA back from Valerie's rape kit and it was a match to the defendant. My partner Detective Stabler and I went to his residence where we found him loading bags into the back of his car. We arrested him and upon searching his person at the station, we found that he had a one way plane ticket to Brazil."

"So your lab found my client's seamen in his wife?" Mill asked, his voice dripping with skepticism.

"Marriage does not prove consent," Olivia spoke beyond Mill and directly to the jury "Vaginal trauma points more to rape than to consensual sex."

Mill continued undaunted "Assuming that my client did have nonconsensual sex with his wife," he emphasized the word nonconsensual and turned slightly in the direction of the jury as he said it "How does that prove that he murdered anyone?"

"It doesn't," Olivia answered truthfully "He was originally only arrested for Valerie's rape. It was only after he was in custody that he confessed to the murders."

"At what point did he confess?" Mill had a smug look on his face. He leaned forward so slightly that it was barely noticeable.

"During the subsequent interrogation," Olivia knew that they were headed into rocky territory and she tried to calm herself. She wasn't up for this. She shouldn't have come to work today. If it hadn't been for this prick that she needed to testify against, she'd still be locked in her apartment right at that moment.

"And who was conducting this 'interrogation'?" Mill knew that he was getting to the nerve and he was leaning on it as heavily as he could.

"My partner and I," Olivia answered succinctly.

"Your partner," Mill repeated "Tell me Detective Benson, your partner, has he been known to get… shall we say… overzealous in cases involving children?"

"Wouldn't you?" Olivia countered before Casey could make her objection fully. Olivia knew that she was beginning to lose it and didn't need Casey's stare to remind her. Olivia cleared her throat and amended her statement "We've all been known to get a little ahead of ourselves at one time or another but this was not one of those occasions," Swing and a miss Olivia, way to go.

"And you are an expert on when your partner becomes overly aggressive during an interrogation?" Mill asked smugly.

Yes I am.

"Objection," Casey stood up and managed to get the word out before Olivia said anything this time.

"Mr. Mill," the judge said, exasperated "Is this going anywhere?"

"Yes," Mill answered the judge before turning back to Olivia "Detective Benson, has your partner ever forced a confession from anyone?"

"No," Olivia answered "Never."

"Have you?"

"Objection," Casey was starting to wonder why she even bothered to sit down "Your honor, he's badgering the witness."

Olivia didn't wait for the judge to say anything. She had lost control. She could see Wilson staring her down from where he sat "No one forced him to confess," she wanted to run out of the courtroom but she was affectively Mill's hostage until he finished questioning her.

Mill's lips curled slightly at the edges into a small smile that was truly gruesome on the face of the man "Do you have anything against my client Detective?"

"No more than I have against any other murderer," Olivia answered and instantly knew that that was the wrong thing to say.

"So you believe that my client murdered his family?"

"Yes," she wanted to get out of there. She wanted Mill to be done asking questions so she could leave. She couldn't take this anymore. She couldn't stand to have all these people looking at her. She knew that they could tell.

"Isn't it true that you and your partner pursued my client, relentlessly until you got the evidence you needed to force a confession from him?!" Mill screamed at the woman who he could tell was emotionally unstable at this moment.

"No it is not," Olivia fought to keep her voice even.

"Your honor," Casey protested.

The judge looked beside him at Olivia who had become very pale "Mr. Mill," he addressed the attorney "Discontinue this line of questioning immediately."

"No further questions," Mill smiled, knowing that Olivia's performance planted the seed of doubt in the jury's minds.

"The witness may step down," the judge said and Olivia tore out of the room like a bat out of hell.

Olivia didn't even notice Casey's attempt to whisper 'Good job' in her ear as she brushed past. She ran straight to the ladies room and collapsed against the wall. She didn't need this. And now the jury thought that Elliot had forced Wilson to confess. Damn she had messed that case up in all of two seconds. She finally managed to gain a tentative composure and pushed off from the wall. She headed out to her car and got in. She drove around Manhattan for a while, wondering what she should do next about all of this.

Last night had destroyed her. That man had obliterated everything she had tried to be. She hadn't been strong enough to stop him and now she wasn't strong enough to do anything about it. He had stayed behind her the whole time. His voice had been low and raspy, almost inhuman. She had cried that night. She waited a full two hours before she had calmed down enough to drive herself to the hospital to get a rape kit done. She had nearly lost it at the front desk. She needed to show them her badge and beg the nurse who did the kit not to report it to the police.

Of all the horrible cosmic coincidences, who should have been the nurse to do the rape kit but Kathy Stabler. Kathy had tried so hard to get Olivia to tell Elliot about the rape. Olivia had begged Kathy to keep quiet, she had literally begged her. Olivia had broken down once again, saying that she couldn't stand to tell the people that she had to face every day. Kathy had sat with her and held her and let her cry all her frustration and fear out. Afterwards, Kathy had made one last ditch attempt and asked Olivia if she wanted her to call Elliot to come take her home. Olivia had managed to convince Kathy that she was fine but when she got home, she spent the rest of the night sitting bolt upright on her couch with her gun nearby.

Olivia finally pulled up in front of her apartment building. She searched for a parking place on the street; there was no way that she was ever going back inside the parking garage. She got out and nearly ran inside her building. She reached her apartment and opened the door. She walked to the answering machine and saw that she had four new messages. She sighed heavily and slumped down onto the couch pushing the button on the machine.

Beep… "Olivia its Casey," Olivia groaned, not wanting to hear about what happened after she had left the courthouse but knowing that she would find out one way or another "You seemed out of it today. Are you feeling all right?" No! Olivia screamed in her head I'm not all right! The message continued "Mill wants to call Elliot as a witness," Great more good news "He's gonna tare him apart," Of course he is "It would be good if you could be there for moral support," Why would Elliot need her for moral support? Still Olivia knew that she would be there. She was the reason that Mill was calling Elliot in the first place. If she had been able to hold it together up there, Mill wouldn't have planted the doubt that gave him the grounds to get Elliot as a witness "It's tomorrow at 9:00," Casey informed her "And Olivia," the tone became one of concern similar to the tone at the beginning of the message "If you need to talk about anything… I'm always here."

Olivia sank further into the couch cushions and pulled her knees to her chest. Was it really that obvious? She had learned to mask many things over the years. For instance no one could tell that she hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. But somehow shame, hurt and sorrow always made it through her façade and right now, she was feeling all three. She closed her eyes as the next message began.

Beep… "Olivia its Kathy Stabler," Olivia felt the sudden urge to skip over the message. She knew that there was only one reason why Kathy was calling now and Olivia didn't need to be pushed in that direction. She knew that she'd have to report the rape sooner or later. She just couldn't, not yet. When she reported it, everyone would see her differently. She wouldn't have the same rights to privacy that civilian rape victims usually got. Her case would be highly publicized. She could picture the headlines at that very moment "SVU cop becomes victim" she wouldn't be able to walk down the street without the ridicule shouted from every street corner in her direction. "I just wanted to check in on you," Do you do this for all the women you perform rape kits on? Olivia thought sarcastically, "You've always been…" Kathy paused "Well like family to us… the kids and Elliot. Elliot really cares about you; I think you should tell him. He'd want to know. Just think about what I said okay? Bye," the message ended.

Olivia could tell how awkward it had been for Kathy to leave that message. She really appreciated that Kathy cared but really, when she decided to tell Elliot was her business and hers alone. Olivia was already thinking of ways to perhaps sneak over to Brooklyn and report the rape to the SVU squad there. It would somehow be easier to tell people who she didn't know personally and on another level it would be just as humiliating. She crossed her legs and reached for a throw pillow. She rammed a frustrated fist into it before hugging it to her chest.

Beep… "Liv it's me," the next message was from Elliot "Are you feeling okay?" No! She punched the pillow again, wishing that she could tell him about the rape without him seeing her differently "You were acting kind of strange this morning and Casey told me about what happened in court," Damn that blabbermouth read headed attorney "Don't let Mill get under your skin," she knew that. She knew not to let the defense make her sweat but she couldn't help it today. She wished to God that she could have. "I'm testifying tomorrow," Olivia braced herself for the blame that he would place on her but it never came "Afterwards maybe we could go out and grab a drink," was he asking her out? No, she was imagining things "If you need to talk about anything, call me anytime okay?" there was a click and the message stopped.

Olivia sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that day. Elliot had been so kind on his message. If he only knew what had happened, he would never be asking her if she wanted to grab a drink again. She would probably be forced to leave SVU and take some pathetic desk job in the property clerk's office if anyone knew. IAB would have a field day. Olivia could just see the smirk on Tucker's face. If Elliot only knew he would never be able to speak to her as simply a friend again.

She took a deep breath; three messages down, one to go. Beep… "Hello Olivia," the blood in her veins seemed to stop moving. She took deep breaths in an effort to keep herself from hyperventilating. She tried to shrink as far into the cushions as possible. She remembered that low, raspy voice. Why was he calling her? Her mind was frozen on that one point and her hands refused to obey her frantic commands to shut off the machine. He had taken what he wanted from her. Why was he calling? "I had so much fun last night," Olivia knew that he was the only one who had. She began to shake as he continued "You're really amazing. I don't think I can be satisfied with just once," God no "I'll have to come see you again someday," with that, the message came to an abrupt end.

Olivia picked up the phone. She all of a sudden really didn't want to be alone at that moment. Her fingers dialed the number with lightening speed, not even bothering to use the speed dial which would have been much quicker. She needed someone with her. It was too much. The phone rang once, twice on the third ring he picked up.

"Stabler."

"Elliot?" her voice seemed weak, distant even to her.

"Liv, you okay?" he asked, instantly forgetting about everything else. He only cared about her in that moment.

"Not really," she whispered "Can you come over, please?"

"Sure," he told her, his voice somehow soothing to her rapidly beating heart and nearly obliterated soul "I'll be there in ten minutes. See you then."

"Thanks," was all Olivia said in response. She hung up the phone and clutched the throw pillow to her as she rose from the couch. She picked up her gun and returned to the couch to wait for Elliot.

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Elliot practically tore out of his house and got into his car. He had driven an entire block and a half before he realized that his seatbelt was unbuckled. He quickly fastened it and continued on his way to Olivia's apartment. She had sounded different, not herself. Her voice had been small and afraid, uncharacteristically her. He was worried. He knew that he should have said something that morning before she went to court. He should have known that what ever it was that was bothering her would affect her testimony. He should have said something encouraging instead of just checking her out as she walked away. He felt so guilty. He was going to go be there for his partner and help her through what ever she was going through. He ran a red light without even noticing. He was too busy thinking about the night before when he had seen her. He tried to think if anything had been off then.

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"Heading home?" he asked when he saw her putting on her jacket.

"Yeah," she nodded with a slight smile "I've done so much paperwork that the forms are going to be haunting my dreams."

He chuckled, handing her bag to her "You wanna go grab a bite to eat?" he asked hopefully.

"Nah," Olivia stifled a yawn, not wanting to turn down his invitation but to exhausted to think of anything but her bed at that moment "Sorry but if I don't get some sleep I'll be passing out in the courtroom tomorrow."

"Right," Elliot nodded in understanding "What's that defense attorney's name again?"

Olivia paused trying to remember "Stewart Mill," she answered "He's a real jackass. I wonder how Wilson ever managed to afford him."

"I don't know," Elliot mused "But he's got no chance. Wilson confessed and there's nothing they can do about that."

"I just hope he doesn't pull some sleazy lawyer trick," Olivia murmured.

"Even if he does," Elliot laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder "You'll do fine. Casey knows what she's doing and all you have to do is tell the truth, you've done it before."

"I know," she shrugged "It's just, I really wanna put this guy away."

"Me too," Elliot told her "Come on, I'll walk you out."

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She had been perfectly fine. What could have happened between that night and the next morning? The possibilities were numerous and terrifying. Elliot shuddered at the thought of what could have possibly happened to her. But if something like that had happened, she would have told him, wouldn't she?

He reached her building. He saw that her car was parked on the street out front. This puzzled him; she always parked in the garage next to her building. The garage was direct access and well lit. Elliot pulled into the garage himself and found an empty space. He got out of the car and started to walk towards the door that connected the garage to the building. He was about to hit the buzzer for Olivia's apartment when he felt something. A gun was pressed against the base of his skull.

Elliot stood as stock still as humanly possible for a long time. He slowly raised his hands so that they were in plain sight. The person holding the gun still hadn't said anything. Elliot tried to plan his next move, wondering if he could duck down out of the way and hit the guy before he pulled the trigger.

"Turn around," the low, raspy, almost inhuman voice whispered in Elliot's ear.

Elliot did as he was told and turned back the way he had come, the gunman remaining behind him the entire time "What do you want?" Elliot finally asked in an even tone.

"None of your business," the man hissed "Just walk over to the other side of the garage."

Again, Elliot did as he was told. He had never noticed before but even though the garage was well lit, there was a surprising lack of security cameras. He reached the wall, his mind racing with questions. What would happen if someone came into the parking garage while this man was there? Would the man panic and kill Elliot and the interloper?

"I assume you're here to see Olivia," the man said, almost conversationally as he reached into Elliot's pocket with his non gun holding hand and removed Elliot's cell.

"How…?" Elliot started to ask but quickly bit his tongue. He couldn't confirm or deny anything about his partner to this obviously violent man. Elliot had the brief thought flash through his mind that this man had something to do with what ever had happened to Olivia.

"I don't suppose," the man began as he flipped the phone open "That she told you about us."

"No," Elliot was forced to answer as his head collided with the wall when the man shoved the gun harder against the base of his skull.

"Too bad," the man mused "it's a good story. Happened last night, right where you're standing actually," the smile was evident in the man's voice.

Elliot felt rage bubbling inside him. He heard the man dialing a number on the cell phone that he had taken from Elliot. While the man's concentration was elsewhere Elliot felt the barrel of the gun relax away from his head. He took a chance and dropped to the floor, turning and landing a decent kick to the man's abdomen.

The man dropped the phone but not the gun. When Elliot got to his feet, the man decided to quit while he was ahead and he ran. Elliot chased him for three blocks before he lost him down a dark alley. He returned to Olivia's apartment building and retrieved his phone from where it lay on the ground. He looked at the illuminated screen and saw the number that the man was attempting to dial. He walked back to the door and finally pushed the buzzer.

Olivia's voice came over the intercom "Yes?" her tone held just an edge of apprehension, well masked but still plain as day to Elliot.

"It's me," he replied, still a little out of breath from having chased the man.

"Elliot?" she asked "Is everything all right?"

You tell me. What happened to you Olivia? He took a deep breath before answering "We need to talk."

"Yeah," she agreed softly "Come on up."