"I swear to God, if you do not get out of my way, I will shoot you." Carlton glared at Shawn. The resident "psychic" was at the station far too much, and it only seemed to be Lassiter that the younger Spencer seemed to bother during his visits.

Shawn pretend-pouted, gazing up towards his occasional colleague. "Oh come on, Lassie Pants. You wouldn't really shoot me, you love me!"

The detective all but snarled, "I will never love you, I don't even like you." A few officers' eyes rested on the two men, the daily fight had become somewhat of a ritual at the station.

Shawn's face dropped into a frown, not even bothering to mask the true emotions he felt like he usually did. He wiped his hands idly on his jeans before backing up a few steps. "You're right, sorry Lassiter." The consultant turned and walked out of the station, not bothering to laugh about the "grumpy detective" to any of the uniforms who had watched the scene unfold.

Carlton only stared after him for a moment, mostly in shock that Spencer had actually used his real last name, before he retreated back to his desk. Lassiter sighed, knowing the man would be back tomorrow to show him up on a case, or to invade his personal space...At least I don't have to deal with him for the rest of the day.

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Shawn walked out of the station, fists balled in anger for himself, all the while trying to fight off tears. You fucking idiot. Was the one thought he had for himself, he just hoped Lassie wouldn't look too much into Shawn's reaction. If he knew, you would be the laughing stock of the station, and not in a good way.

Reaching his motorcycle, he sat and breathed the air in deeply. The tears were still threatening him, so he quickly put on his helmet. Shawn Spencer did not cry, at least not in front of other people, and certainly not over a unrequited crush on a detective of all people.

Kicking the stand, he pulled off into the darkening sky, not really focusing on where he was going. Distantly, he heard his phone go off, but he didn't care. It was likely a text from Gus or his father, unless Juliet had found out about his little tiff with her partner and decided to try and mend things. He scoffed to himself, you can't mend something that never fit together in the first place.

It wasn't like Shawn to take rejection this hard, he'd always had brief flings with both girls and guys that never lasted because his partners "just didn't love him". But he had always shrugged it off, telling himself that he just hadn't found the right person yet and moving on to the next.

Now he wondered if he just wasn't meant to be with anyone, maybe he was just meant to be alone. Life seemed to work better for him that way, no one could hurt him, or chastise him for his poor eating habits, or see the real Shawn Spencer that he'd tried to bury deep within himself.

Slowly, his facade of apathy and happiness faded, and the insecure, unhappy Shawn came full blast.

No one will ever want you, and the only one you want despises you. Shawn gritted his teeth, speeding up a little. It was then that he saw a mile marker, and surprise was cluttering his mind. He was running away, and he hadn't even realized it. The sunset had turned to pitch-black, and Santa Barbara had turned into an unfamiliar town.

He couldn't do this. Not again. Not to Gus, or his father, or Juliet, or the chief, or Las- Lassiter wouldn't care, but he couldn't just leave again. Not this time, this was the longest he'd felt at home in a long time. However, he wasn't sure that he would ever feel a love for the town again after today.

He was still driving, still thinking, still contemplating. Why would I ever think he would love me? I'm a child, an idiot, I get in his way and steal his thunder. He is a man, a straight man no less, and he hates me. Shawn shook his head subtly, how could he have been so blind? It was just a stupid hope that made him hold on, a stupid bit of hope that was now crushing him. No one would blink an eye if he didn't come back, some people would even expect it. Shawn never stayed in one place for too long, especially not for three years.

He veered off the road then, pulling to the side after he'd seen yet another town's sign. No. He thought, I'm not running again, I have hurt enough people by doing that.

His phone beeped again, and this time he pulled it out. Three messages from Gus, telling him they were going to be presented with a case tomorrow and to not show up hungover. He laughed half-heartedly as he replied a simple "Okay, mom."

He turned his bike back towards the direction he'd come from, the sun would rise soon enough and he had to get home. Shawn sighed, starting his bike, hoping he would arrive before the morning settled in and people noticed that he had almost left again.

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"Shawn, where the hell have you been? You look terrible." Gus' voice was the first to project in the chief's office.

Shawn put on a goofy smile, but he knew he looked rough. He hadn't bothered going home and taking a shower, mainly because he had turned around three more times that night, wanting to run.

"I overslept, I'm sorry chief. Sometimes the-" He raised his hand to his head, "-powers just wear me out."

Chief Vick rolled her eyes, "If you'd care to sit down..." She pointed to the seat next to Lassiter.

Shawn's heart dropped as he saw Carlton's reaction, but he sat anyway, blowing the detective an air kiss and watching him shrink away in disgust. Just keep pretending, even if it kills you.