I had known about it my whole life; since as long as I could remember, yet it all seemed to be happening way too fast now.
Talks about colours and patterns and schedules, renting's and speeches and who would sit where, it made my mind spin and my head ache. Of course, most of the decisions were left up to the women, but I occasionally had to pretend I was interested. I knew it made Ai feel better, and although I would have rather cut off my own foot than be a part of this arranged marriage, I couldn't take it out on her; she was a sweet girl, doing what her father had raised her to do.
Yuri Ai, my betrothed.
She had been raised as a wife her entire life, learning how to doubt on her future husband, keep a clean house, cook, look after children; and to make it better, she was a beautiful girl; she not only naturally, but she knew how to make herself look presentable every day. She was a catch, I knew that, any guy in the village would be more than lucky to have her as a wife.
I, however, could have cared less.
Ai was promised to me from the day of her birth; her being two years younger than myself. There was no attraction for me, no love. I was polite, doing what was expected of me by my father but even that was a challenge.
Ai wasn't the girl I loved; but that didn't matter to our parents.
I had given my heart away when I was only young, and never had it returned.
There was a girl on my team, Kin. She was an amazing Kunoichi, the second she walked onto that field her first day, she had my eye. She wasn't perfect like Ai, and maybe that's why I always considered her to be. She would stumble over her own feet sometimes, cursed a lot, she had bruises and scars from training and had a frown on her face more than a smile, her clothes were sometimes too short, or too baggy, or dirty and torn, and she often would through her hair up instead of styling it.
They didn't compare though; Kin was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was considered just another Kunoichi, but I fell head over heals for that girl.
We didn't get along at first; hell, we hated each other. Both of us were stubborn and hard headed; fighting for dominance, fighting for the right to be considered number one. After a while though, we seemed to have a professional understanding; soon after that, it moved to be less professional.
We got close, spending more and more time together away from training, talking to her was just easy, she seemed to understand a lot of my struggle with my family, she had her own troubles as well.
The closer we got, the more we worried; I was in an arranged marriage, no room for dating, even when I was young, there was no point, but even then, we had a whole other problem that made us worry more.
This was Yuri Kin, Ai's sister.
In the beginning, Kin had resisted, trying to distance herself from me, knowing the arraignment better than everyone else, but we couldn't stay away from each other. We snuck around; hiding what we could but I could tell it weighed heavy on Kin's mind. She felt like she was betraying her sister.
It didn't take long for our fathers to find out what was going on; my father exploded at me, giving me the lecture of how much of a disgrace I was being, and that I was never to see Kin outside of training again. Kin's father was worse; he beat the crap out of her, teaching her a lesson. He called her a whore; a slut; a disgrace to the family.
Kin was used to the abuse, Ai had been her father's favourite since she was a child; but I blamed myself. I knew better, and I took her down that path either way.
We listened for a while; staying away from each other, not even talking during training, but I couldn't do it. I found myself drawn to her, talking more, trying to walk her direction after practice; she resisted again, knowing we couldn't do it, she claimed it would be easier to just end whatever we had then.
But I was hooked.
There was no ending it, I loved her and despite what she said, despite what she was trying to resist, we both knew she loved me too.
We started meeting secretly again, usually through the night; we continued to talk, we'd hold each other and watch the stars, but of course, nothing ever lasts. We got caught again, this time, our fathers had had enough.
Kin's father locked her away, she couldn't come to practice anymore, which meant I had no means of seeing or checking on her, I talked to Ai occasionally, trying to find out how she was doing, it wasn't good.
After a few weeks of being locked away, healing from the beating according too Ai, they're father decided to send Kin away to Suna, to live with her uncle. I was beside myself; doing anything I could to see her, but it was hopeless.
She was sent away before we could say goodbye; to make it worse, my father put his hand in the politics and made sure I would never be sent to Suna on a mission. I kept trying for years, despite my father's threats, to get to Kin again, to find a way;
it was fruitless.
I eventually found myself going through the motions; attending functions, pretending I was excited to be wed, all the while I could never get Kin out of my heart.
It became easier to pretend as the years moved on. Easier to answer questions with the words they wanted. Act with the actions they wanted. Be who they wanted. I had no reason to fight anymore.
I couldn't be with Kin.
There was no point to resist anymore.