Disclaimer: I do not, never have, and never will own Bleach.

Spoilers: If you are not up-to-date on your Bleach and read this, you will be spoiled. This is your only warning. Whew. With that out of the way, let's get started.

The first thing I did when Yoruichi brought me here was sit down with my back to her. It wasn't that I couldn't stand the sight of her. Far from it. I'm no eunuch. She's mindbashingly beautiful and has been from the day she was born. And not so long after her birth, her soul called to me. I suppose I was calling to her, too. I wandered Rukongai for years before stumbling into the thing I yearned for in the shape of a wiry girl my own age, dressed like a princess, but dirty as an urchin. We looked at each other and pretty much exploded into laughter.

We have not been apart since. She knows me better than anyone else ever could. Which is what brought us here. I am her prisoner, for the moment. She became my warden because she didn't want anyone else to be. She's never trusted anyone else with my life. Not even me. "Stay here," she commanded before she disappeared. Seeing as I fear her more then Central 46, I've settled in to meditate on my predicament.

It's a tangled thing, when you look at it from a distance. I realized the curiosity in my nature long before I discovered science. The problem with curiosity is that discovery, much like creation, leads to the pain of re-entering the mental plane everyone else lives on. Sooner or later you have to surface for air, and it hurts like hell, shifting your mind back to the mundane. Paperwork. Underlings.

That needling suspicion I had that Yoruichi's eye had fallen on someone. She is a woman, after all, and women are romantic beings at the core. But there has always been a balance with us. We've lived our lives almost parallel. She took over Keigun only when I became Captain of the twelfth squad because she never wanted to be in a superior position to me. Had the situation been reversed, I would have waited for her, too. But infatuation blooming into love—her timing was way off. I had flings here and there, but I was nowhere near where she was in terms of being willing to commit.

I felt suddenly alone again.

But I'm not one to wallow in despair. I found something equally satisfying. First it was little things, like creating the memory modifier and improving the mod souls. But then came the Hou Gyoku.

While Yoruichi was gravitating toward that white haired man we loved so dearly, I was moving toward the sublime. And we hid from each other.

I completed Hou Gyoku much faster than I had anticipated. When it was done, that shining, living marble in my hand, I knew I had succeeded. And failed. I didn't have the nerve to use it on myself, didn't know if I ever would. And if I would not, who would? I encased it and put it away. Time passed, and my mind settled into the concept that I was the creator of a powerful object. The longer I held it, the more it seemed to beg me to expose it. What is the point in creating and never sharing your creation? I caught myself thinking. Even if it is possibly illegal.

So I took it to the white haired man. He looked at it, looked at me, and his face was a mix of admiration and horror. I'd seen it before in others. But in him it seared me, and the gravity of my situation was suddenly clear. Ukitake Juushirou is a wise, kind man, loving to his friends. And he clearly sensed I was dancing on a razor. But he knew better than to chastise me. He let me go and take my treasure with me. But since then, there has been a shadow over us. And it has spread to Yoruichi.

Juushirou-san would never betray a confidence. This is how I know Yoruichi found out on her own. Looking back, I know it was absurd to think I could keep such a thing from her. Perhaps that is why she is so angry at me now.

I was certain of that, and I sat with my back to her because I couldn't stand to see her angry. I don't feel guilty. I am pleased with myself. But the part of her that rests in my heart tells me I've done something wrong, bad enough to cost me my life. And she doesn't want to continue her life without me. She can, undoubtedly. But she will not. One way or another, she will keep me alive whether I will it or not. It's a terrible thing sometimes, no matter how comforting, to know you are so loved. For the first time, I wished she could give her love to someone else and let me go.

I told Juushirou that when he came here. And he looked at me, hard, with his brown eyes dark and terrible. Of course he's wanted her forever, and she's wanted him. But to her, loving him means giving me up. And he seems incapable of crossing the bridge that would let him simply ask for what he most desires. They're both terrible fools when it comes down to it. And so am I, to be such a wrecker of dreams that are not my own. I can tell you this because I think you understand. You've always been so calm, as if nothing could touch you this way, and yet you are so free with your kindness and empathy. "Thank you for coming, Aizen-taichou. You are the one visitor I have had who eases my mind a bit," I say.

"You're very kind," you say, settling on the futon. "I have always felt a kinship with you, Kisuke-kun. But I feel as though you are not telling me the whole story. What is it you fear? The power you'll gain or the process of getting it?"

"I see you've put some thought into it as well," I say. You are a thinker, much like myself. This does not surprise me. What does surprise me is gleam n your eyes. I know it well. It's the same one I see when I look in a mirror. I would never have pegged you as an adventurer. "Both," I say. "I'm not sure I can possess the power without being corrupted, but I'm also not sure the process is that simple mentally."

"it is the nature of power to corrupt. You knew that when you were creating it, did you not?" you ask.

"I don't believe that. Only the weak can be transformed with the gaining of strength. In any case, the desire to create often makes a person disregard the consequences of the final product." When I look you in the eyes, I can see the wheels turning in you mind. There's something else you want to ask. Why don't you?

But you change the subject, shifting a little in your seat. In the split second between the movement of your legs—barely a twitch—and the opening if your mouth for your next statement, I see it. Hunger. Spiced with malice. You want to know, you want to use the knowledge. And your purpose is not benevolent. I blink. Surely I didn't see that. Did I?

"When I create, nothing so grand as what you have concocted, I begin and end with the final result in mind," you say, and your tone is that of an impatient teacher. I have disappointed you in some way. No, not you. The beast inside you. So I did see it.

I barely hear myself sigh. "So then, we are not so much alike, are we Aizen Sousuke," I murmur just loud enough for you to hear.

You stare at me and there is that beast again. It is eying Benihime, who is still at my side. If you wish to fight here, I think to myself, so be it.

I should have given you more credit. Logic tells us both that I, a lone criminal, am not worth your exposing yourself. We'll leave it at that, then.

When you leave, I am not sorry to see you go. I settle back into my chair. Yoruichi will be back soon. I can still count on her help, and for that I am grateful. I'll go as soon as I can. My absence will at least stall you a bit.

Again, you and I have something in common. We have only to wait.