She should have known it was coming, being replaced. She just didn't think it would happen quite so quickly. The gates had only just opened that afternoon, for goodness' sake! Yet here Anna was, draped all over some prince, asking for a blessing for their marriage.
Marriage. Honestly.
She could understand the Prince's eagerness – really, who wouldn't fall for Anna as soon as they met her? – but it was her sister's that hurt the most. Had she finally given up on her? Elsa had long ago stopped expecting to hear that hopeful knock on her door, the silence echoing through her room instead bringing an odd mixture of relief and despair with it. It had broken her heart every time she'd had to cut her sister down, and she was glad to be relieved of the burden of hurting her emotionally to save hurting her physically.
And yet she'd still longed for Anna to return. No matter the squeeze of dread her heart gave when she heard the eager footsteps outside her door, Elsa still needed Anna to knock for her. She still needed to know she cared. Elsa tried to take comfort in the fact that she'd been asked for her blessing; it least showed that Anna still cared about what she thought, if only a little.
She looked to the prince – what was his name again? – as her sister rambled on about wedding preparations. His hands were all over her, touching her in ways Elsa never could. Trailing down her waist, squeezing her shoulder, holding her hand. Elsa hadn't been able to give Anna a hug in over a decade, hadn't even been able to give her as much as a pat on the back when their parents had died. Elsa felt her temper flare, the injustice of it all making her blood boil instead of freeze for once.
Who was he, this man, who had done nothing – nothing – for Anna to think that he could just hold her as casually as he was doing, as easily as if he were breathing? How could he, when Elsa, her own sister, could not? How could he think he was worthy of such careless affection when all he'd done was dance with Anna, where Elsa had had to hurt them both, again and again and again, just to keep her safe. This man couldn't possibly love Anna anywhere near as much as she did.
"No one's brothers are staying here, no one is getting married!" The words were out of her mouth before she realised what she was saying. She watched her sister's face crumple as she denied her – yet again – the chance to be close with someone. But she had to – it was for her own good, wasn't it?
"May I talk to you, please? Alone?" If Elsa could just get Anna away from him, maybe the anger would subside, and maybe she'd be able to explain herself a bit more rationally.
"No. Whatever you have to say, you can say to the both of us," Anna backed away from her, anchoring herself to the prince. Elsa felt another stab to the heart at how much Anna was already relying on him, leaning on him as she should have been able to lean on Elsa on the day of her parent's funeral.
"Fine. You can't marry a man you just met," She at least had a rational reason to disprove of the marriage, if not the man.
"You can if it's true love!"
True love. True love. After how long? She'd known her sister was a dreamer, but this was ridiculous. She started to calm down a little. This was surely all just Anna trying to recreate those fairy tales that she was always reading.
"Anna, what do you know about true love?" She wasn't trying to be hurtful, just practical. Anna hadn't been allowed to leave the castle in years, hadn't properly interacted with even her family since…
"More than you! All you know how to do is shut people out!"
Elsa bit back a gasp, staring at her sister in shock. Anna thought she didn't love her. She supposed she should have guessed, what other conclusion would she have come to after being rejected for so long? She had always tried not to think about it; had hoped that Anna would think that she just wanted to be alone… but not this. Never this.
"You asked for my blessing, but my answer is no." Elsa fought to keep her voice steady, unsure if she were protecting Anna any more or lashing out from the hurt. How could Anna think that she didn't love her? But that this stranger did? She excused herself, feeling her emotions starting to spiral out of control. If she stayed here she could unravel in front of everyone, undoing all those years of hard, thankless work.
The prince tried to stop her, but she didn't have time for him. She needed to leave – everyoneneeded to leave. Now. Right now.
"The party's over. Close the gates."
She headed to the exit as quickly as possible, trying to maintain composure. The mantra she'd been chanting to herself all day leapt to the front of her mind. Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. Maybe it would have worked, had Anna not pulled off her glove. She snatched at it, desperately trying to reclaim the item that granted her a – however flimsy – barrier to the world. Anna clutched it to her chest, pleading with her.
"Elsa, please…I can't live like this anymore!" her eyes swam with tears, beseeching.
Elsa was too afraid of what could happen if she tried to get the glove back from somewhere so close to her sister's heart. A desperate, crazy thought flashed across her mind at her sister's words. Maybe it was time for one last sacrifice…something to stop the torment they both had to live through, day after day.
"Then leave," she said quietly, lip trembling.
Let Anna marry this prince, go with him back to his homeland. He could never love Anna the way Elsa did, but he could show her the affection that she so desperately needed, and couldn't get from her own sister. He could hold her when she cried, stroke her hair comfortingly as she mourned her lost sister. Elsa could not do the same for her if she sent this prince away. Anna would be devastated, abandoned and alone yet again with no one to console her. This was for the best, even if it felt so terribly, utterly wrong.
But ultimately, how wrong could it be?
Anna would be free.
Anna would be safe.
Even if Elsa wasn't.