The Words I Wish I Said, a dexter fanfic

A/N: So, here it is - my first fic. I wanted to write a little Dexter fic; because I thought writing a fic about Rita during the season 4 finale would be interesting, as the audience was never told about how exactly the whole Rita/Trinity incident actually happened. I hope you like it!
Read & Review please.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the fic you are about to read.

THE WORDS I WISH I SAID

'Sorry we have to go back home, sweetie,' Rita said as she looked in the rear view mirror at her son in the booster seat, 'but Mommy forgot something because she was helping get you ready,'

Rita had been packing Harrison's bags for the trip Dexter was planning on taking her and their children on. Rita had left her ID to get on the plane at home, so was driving back now. She grabbed her phone and called Dexter. It went to voicemail.

'Dexter Morgan. Leave a message,' said the voice she had grown to love.

'Hey, sweetie. Ugh, I'm a dope. I was in such a rush to get Harrison organised, I forgot my ID for the plane. So I'm zooming home for it. Which means we'll be on a later puddle jumper, but we'll still be there waiting for you. Oh, and I know you're not into this stuff, but the moon tonight is going to be amazing. So take a moment, you deserve it. I love you, bye,' she finished just as she got back home.

She got out of her seat and moved around the car and got Harrison. She walked over to the front door with Harrison in her arms. After unlocking the front door, she pushed it open and walked through.

'Dexter, are you home?' she asked, and all that she got in response was silence.

'Daddy's probably still at work,' she said to Harrison as she put her bag down next to the bench. Rita could hear water running in the bathroom, so started to walk in that direction.

She stopped in her tracks when she noticed that the tap to the bath was on and the bath tub was filling up. She put Harrison down on the floor next to her as she knelt down next to the bath tub and turned the water off.

'What-

A hand covered her mouth and suppressed the scream she wanted to let out. Her eyes widened in shock as she looked over at Harrison, still sitting on the floor.

'Don't scream, Rita,' a voice belonging to a man whispered in her ear. With the hand that wasn't covering her mouth; the man placed his arm around Rita's neck, pulling her into unconsciousness.

'No,' Rita said through the man's hand.

'Shhh,' he mumbled. Rita stared at Harrison, the tears beginning to blur her vision.

Then unconsciousness took over her.

When Rita awoke, she was laying in the bath tub with the man who had broken into her house behind her, holding her with a steady grip. She looked over at Harrison, who was still sitting on the floor, his crying face staring at his mother.

Rita tried to pull away from this man's grip, but was unsuccessful.

'Please, don't,' Rita cried. The man moved his arm back around Rita's neck again.

'It's already over... It's already over,' he murmured into her hair.

Rita began to slip into unconsciousness again, before she noticed the man behind her grab a blade.

He slid the blade across Rita's leg and Rita eyes widened in shock after feeling the searing pain. The water began to turn red as Rita's body started shaking, and the water went over the edge, moving over the bathroom tiles.

She gasped as the man grabbed a mirror and placed it in front of Rita's face. Rita saw the life leaving her eyes, before glancing over to look at Harrison.

Her crying son was still looking at her, and a tear slid down Rita's face. The blood red water had now reached Harrison, and he was sitting in it. Rita gasped a few more times before darkness began to take her over.

She glanced at herself one more time in the mirror and thought about Astor, Cody and Dexter. She loved them all so much. She wished she had told them just one more time how she felt about them.

Her last breath escaped her body, and then it was over.

Dexter was driving home after he had thrown Trinity over his boat. He was relieved to finally have been done with this. He just wanted to take his family away and take a trip. He needed a getaway.

He stared at the moon, which was full. He wondered if Rita was looking at this same moon right now. He wondered if the two were sharing this moment together from a distance.

He finally arrived at his house and got out, grabbing his bag before heading to the front door. He entered and tidied up a few things that were lying on the floor, before placing his bag on the dining table.

As he put his bag on the table, his phone beeped, informing him he had an unread voicemail.

Rita, he thought.

He pulled out his phone and started playing the message.

'Unread message,' said the automated voice, before Rita began talking.

He got out of his voicemail and scrolled to his contacts until he found Rita, then pressed the dial button. Dexter looked up as a phone began to ring next to the bench, and shock immediately took over his body. He walked over to the bag and pulled out Rita's phone. Dexter wondered how Rita could've forgotten her bag before a cry interrupted his thoughts.

The cries continued as Dexter moved to find the origin of the cry, and reached the bathroom and turned on the light. Harrison was sitting on the floor, sitting in a pool of blood. Dexter suddenly realised the similarity between Harrison and himself; both being born in blood.

He followed the trail of blood to Rita in the bath tub, her lifeless eyes staring over at Harrison. Dexter walked over and fell to his knees.

'Rita,' the mumble escaped his mouth as he moved his hands to close her eyes.

Dexter stared at her, still in shock. Another one of Harrison's cries broke his trance and he turned around, practically crawling across the floor to hold up Harrison.

He looked at Rita one last time before standing up and walking out of the bathroom. He placed Harrison down on a chair while grabbing his cell phone.

He dialled the three numbers 9-1-1, and waited for a response.

'911 Emergency Response,' a woman said on the other end.

'This is Dexter Morgan, 3319 Meadow Lane,' Dexter began.

'What is your emergency?'

'I just got home and found my wife dead in the bath tub,'

'Did you say your wife is dead?'

'Yes, I did. She has an approximately 1 inch incision midway up right thigh, dissecting the femoral artery,' he stated.

'Alright, the police are on their way. Just stay at the house,' the woman informed him before Dexter hung up.

Dexter picked Harrison back up and looked into his eyes. Dexter didn't want Harrison to be like him. He tried everything to prevent it. But Harrison was like him now; born in blood. Dexter hoped that this didn't mean Harrison would carry a dark passenger like Dexter, but he wasn't sure of anything now.

As the sounds of sirens approached, Dexter began to make his way outside, still carrying Harrison. Once outside, he dropped to his knees, unable to focus on anything except for Harrison's cries. A few policemen passed him and went inside the house, while another came up to Dexter.

'Sir, did you call this in?' he knelt down and asked Dexter. Dexter didn't reply.

'Sir, we're going to take the child into safe custody,' the policeman asked as he went to grab Harrison, but Dexter's grip on him tightened.

Dexter was not going to let Harrison go. Harrison was the only thing keeping him sane. He lost Rita, one of the only things that made him feel 'human'. He never wanted to see her hurt. He knew that she was in danger being with him, but he wanted to keep her safe. She didn't deserve this. She deserved a white picket fence, a happy family... but all she got was him.

He realised then that no matter how hard he tried, he was what was wrong. It was his fault she had died.

Dexter's train of thought was interrupted by a screaming Deb running up to him.

'What are you doing? Back off. Miami Homicide, he is too, and I said back the fuck off,' Deb said to the policeman who moved back. Deb dropped down on her knees in front of Dexter and saw the blood stains on Harrison.

'What happened?' the concern clear in her voice. Dexter gave Harrison to Deb and Deb was panting as she noticed more blood stains on Harrison, who was still crying.

'Rita's inside,' Dexter began, 'it was me.'

A/N: I know that may seem like it abruptly finished, but that was how I wanted it.

I know that the scenes from Dexter's POV may be familiar as I used the scenes from episodes 4x12 and 5x01 because I didn't want him to be OOC and I didn't want the whole story to change, but I just wrote it in my own words. And with Rita's death, I used the bath tub death in episode 4x01 for inspiration as I knew Trinity would stick with his routine in the killing, even though he changed the description of the bath tub victim.
But anyway, I hope you liked it. Please Review, it would mean a lot. Criticism is welcome too.
- Tasha.