TITLE: Lack Of Grace
AUTHOR: Vid Z.
PAIRING: Jack/Sam
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show Stargate: SG-1 are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This episode is the one where the whole damn show started going downhill faster without a chance of return. It had jumped the shark long before this ep, but this one was where the shark was really starting to grap at their water skies. That's why I'm fixing it.
SUMMARY: Sam finds out some truths about herself and her relationship with Jack when she asks him what would happen if she'd quit the AF.
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"What if I quit the Air Force? Would that change anything or is it just an excuse?"
"You know the answer yourself, why are you asking me?"
"What?" she stared at him baffled.
"This whole damn relationship has always been in your hands, Carter. For crying out loud!" he ran a frustrated hand over his face. "You know damn well what I feel for you, you've always known it, you just never wanted to act on it. So why are you asking ME as if this is my call? If you've ever wanted us to be together you would've written and handed in that resignation long ago and come after me because you know I would never reject you if nothing would stand in the way."
Sam just stared at him in shock. Though he wasn't the real Jack, but only a manifestation of her subconsciousness, he was hitting all the points.
He was right. She HAD been in control all this time, SHE had practically ordered him to leave it in that room, then with the memory stamp and every other incident, SHE had been the one to step on the brake and shove it back in the room.
He had always followed her directions concerning their relationship, not pressing even though he obviously wanted to, following her lead as she had followed his in the field.
Okay, bad example.
Sam hadn't been the perfect little 2IC in a while, she had disobeyed his direct orders many times, questioned him and his decisions publicly, stood up to him in front of others, questioned and undermined his authority and was disrespectful towards him in front of his superiors and subordinates, lied to him in his face (among the lies ones about her past service as a pilot and in the Gulf, since women weren't allowed in combat until 1993) and the very long list goes on for quite a while.
Looking back now she had to acknowledge that any other CO would've had her court-martialled long ago.
But Jack hadn't.
She hadn't fully seen it until now, but she had truly struck the gold with Jack O'Neill. Best CO and teacher she could ever have, truest friend, the most solid rock when she needed one, just holding her when she needed without pressing her to talk, and the man she had feelings for.
So why had she intentionally stall any progress their relationship could've made in all these years? Why had she put them back to square one every single time it looked like they were getting closer to being together?
She tried to imagine what would happen if she'd stop pulling the brake on 'them' and let what she knew of Jack, what he wanted, flood her mind.
She gasped, the image before her was a blissful one. She saw Jack's house with few modifications having been made: a bigger garage, in which she could see her Volvo S60 and her bike next to his truck and his bike, kids' toys scattered across the lawn and through the window she could see herself, a woman glowing from love and happiness, not just contentment with her job and bitterness over her lonely life, a happy woman enjoying a quiet evening in with her husband, the man she loved, and their 2 small kids.
She saw the calendar on the wall and she gasped when she saw the date. It was the day on which she had started hallucinating aboard the space ship.
This was what she could've had had she not started sabotaging their relationship all those years ago, continuing this behaviour to this day.
Then one of the children turned and Sam was stunned speechless yet again when she saw the little girl she'd seen just hours ago, only a few years younger.
Now she knew why the girl had looked so familiar. No wonder, since she had had a mix of Sam's and Jack's features, their genes, their offspring.
Suddenly the fantasy ended and she was sitting on the cold floor of the ship looking at 'Jack' who was leaning against the wall, giving her a serious look.
She got up, giving a thought to seeing how a kiss between them would feel like, but decided to wait for a few days to experience it with the genuine article.
Turning around she ran for the bridge, she had to save herself because she had a resignation to write and one grouchy old Colonel to claim as hers.
The future had always been in her hands and she was finally going to stop stalling and start working towards having what she'd seen in that hallucination.
Getting pregnant, being pregnant and giving birth to two kids after all took time!
THE END
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