What have I done? How can this be? My Lord Liu Bei, how could you just… leave? This letter sits in my hands while I cry a river. Why did he have to die?
It is my fault. I left you. I played you as if you were some little…game! I thought that I didn't love you. I thought that when I lay my hands on your heart, that I could just tear it out of your chest and run with it. Feeling no pain whatsoever. But it didn't happen like that. I…I felt great pain. Pain that had no love in it.
I am told that I saved my kingdom from destruction. I am even told that I am a hero. Am I really? I do not know what feeling like a hero is like, but I do know that it does not feel bad.
No. I will not keep living like this. I shall be with my lord no matter how much it hurts.
I look around my room. I do not wish for this to be the end of my life, but if it must for me to see Lord Liu Bei again, then so be it. I walk out of the room. My ladies-in-waiting try to follow me, but I call them off. I then began to walk faster, hoping that no one will try to stop me for a chat. On the way out of the palace, I stop and pick up a piece of paper and an inkwell. When I walk out of the door, I pass by Lian Shi.
"My Lady, you seem a bit rushed. Do you…" "Not now Lian Shi. I am very busy and cannot be bothered", I shout as I pass her by.
I now sit looking out at the river. This shall be where my life ends. I slowly begin to write my last letter, my hand slightly shaking.
To all of my friends and family,
I have dropped a tear in a river. The day that you all find it is the day that I will stop missing you.
Finding no other words to say, I step into the ice cold water. I begin to shiver when I think about what I am about to do. Ah, the things people do for the ones they love. Sighing, I walk further into the river; the ground starting to come to an end. I close my eyes and keep walking further until my head was under.
I sit here and patiently await my death. My lungs burn and I desperately long for air. No. I must remain steadfast.
My world is starting to darken as my lungs fill with icy liquid. Pictures of the people I hold closest to me pour into my mind. Father. He would be so disappointed in me. Ce. We shall encounter again now. Quan. All of this is because of your selfish ways. Lastly, I think of Lian Shi. She was my best friend. She could have saved me.
I am lifted to a bright abyss. When I enter it, I find my soul mate standing in front of me. He smiled as I walked to him. When I finally reach him, we kiss longingly. When we finally pulled away from each other, I smiled.
At last, my broken soul finds rest.