I don't own the characters, or the song.
This Fanfiction comes to you curtesy of my overtired brain; it's amazing what it can come up with late at night. Hope you like it, don't forget to review!
Men in Tights
Here I was celebrating yet another birthday alone in my apartment. Well, I wasn't quite alone, I had Rex and a bottle of Tequila to keep me company, but it just wasn't the same. Just once I wanted one of the men in my life to stay with me on my special day, instead of dumping me a week before and then making up with me a week after. I swear it was just so that they didn't have to buy me a present.
My mother had already called several times inviting me to a family dinner, like always, but I had declined, telling her I had other plans. Of course, she demanded to know what plans I had, so I told her I had a date; what I forgot to mention was the date was with my bottle of Tequila. Oh well. At least I wasn't rolling garbage like last year.
I sighed and took another shot as Rex stuck his head out of his soup can, whiskers twitching. I guess someone was coming. So I unlocked the door for whatever psycho was going to try to liven up my life tonight. Moments later as I repositioned myself on the couch with a box of tastykakes the door sprang open and in walked a bunch of incredibly hot guys dressed in… SPANDEX? Okay then, I was intrigued. Wait a minute, I know these guys.
Leading the group was Lester in a pink tutu and tights. He was followed by Bobby in a gymnast's leotard and Woody in a wrestling outfit that fully showed off exactly why he had acquired his nickname. Next was Ram in an old fashion swim suit dressed up as the synchronised swimmers do. After him was Morelli in a Robin Hood costume, Carl Constanza in a Peter Pan costume and Eddie in a Superman costume. Mooner and his friends came in wearing their own super suits and various other men, including more of the Merry Men and more from the police department filed in and gathered infront of me, then, right at the end, in came Tank followed by Ranger. They were dressed as Batman and Robin.
I could have laughed my ass into a grave right there and then at the sight of them all, in fact I made a good attempt to, but then they distracted me by putting a CD into my stereo system and pressing play. They all jostled about for a moment until they were in some kind of organised formation and the music started. They sang and danced to a song I recognised from a movie called "Robin Hood: Men in Tights".
We're men, we're men in tights.
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!
We're men, we're men in tights,
Always on guard defending the people's rights.
[Dance number, chorus line style They all burst into the Can-can
We're men, MANLY men, we're men in tights. Yeah!
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights.
We're men, we're men in tights (TIGHT tights),
Always on guard defending the people's rights.
When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!
We're butch.
By the end of their performance I could hardly keep myself upright for the laughter. It was just too damn hilarious, and mixed with the Tequila in my system it was the greatest feeling in the world.
"Happy Birthday, Steph," they all said, smiling as they watched me fall about on the couch. "Hope its unforgettable."
Damn right its unforgettable! Man, I'd have to scour my eyes out to get that image out of my head and it would still be there. Somebody was sleeping happy tonight!