This is completely unbeta'd, and written in under forty minutes. Also, it's super short but what's new.
Life goes on. It's a fact you have to face when you live for eternity. But at this point, Bartimaeus wasn't sure if he wanted it to.
God, that seems melodramatic. It is, unfortunately, true.
In the Other Place, he found himself yearning for the raw emotion of Earth, for everything Nathaniel had made him feel. It was something he hadn't felt for thousands of years; something he had missed and hoped would never return. But even if he were to leave the Other Place, he wasn't there. Earth was in shambles. The humans couldn't agree, and didn't want to agree. It was all petty and pointless and he wanted no part of it.
He only wanted Nathaniel.
He wanted that flush in his cheeks when he got particularly riled up, or the small, pursed smile he would get when he was trying not to find Bartimaeus funny. His breathy, elusive laugh; the nervous shift of his eyes when he was around those he admired. Or the time when he had called it a day, and sat on his love seat to read a novel. Bartimaeus sat with him, content to only observe Nathaniel. That afternoon had been quiet, and Nathaniel had been Nathaniel for the first time in a while.
There were things about Nathaniel no one else had seen, and no one else would ever see.
But Bartimaeus supposed no one had seen Nathaniel at all, save for maybe Kitty. She had caught a glimpse. A bright,shining, Nathaniel-packed glimpse, but still only a glimpse.
Bartimaeus himself held the memory of who Nathaniel had been, because he was the only one who'd known.
The only one who'd known that his feet were cold at night, and that he really didn't mind when a tanned boy warmed them with his own. That he was worn to the point of tears at times, and it was best to let him alone then.
Bartimaeus himself held the memory of who Nathaniel had been, and he wasn't going to let that go.