Part I: s/11559284/1/Do-You-Remember

CHAPTER I

I will wait, I am waiting, and I will love you with all the love I possess until this body is ash and I begin my search for you again.
Tyler Knott Gregson

I remember when dad and mom told me stories about Mystic Falls. For some weird reason, I always paid attention. My senses responded instantly when I heard mom say "I wanna go back, I miss it". Dad was always more reluctant. I asked why, several times, and after thinking for a couple of seconds, he just said "memories".

I did not insist. Everyone has their reasons for not wanting to return somewhere, or for not wanting to leave. We moved out from Mystic Falls when I was one year old, to an apartment in Tribeca. The big city, however, was somewhat overwhelming.

And after insisting on and on…

"Always writing" Damon muttered, turning the steering wheel to enter the private property.

Stefan chuckled, holding the pen on the paper.

"You're so annoying, dad" he said. Damon rolled his eyes and Elena pursed her lips to keep from smiling. Stefan shook his head with a soft smile on his lips.

… We're back, Mystic Falls.

Stefan looked through the car window, observing the big house about which he had heard so much. It was intimidating, actually. A great mansion and boarding house once. New York's apartment was reduced to ashes if you compared it to that place.

"Home sweet home" Elena said, opening the door of the car.

Damon groaned, leaving the car. Stefan followed him, putting his journal inside his backpack as Elena opened the front door of the house and got inside. Damon, however, stood there, tasting the old creak of the door.

"What?!" Damon went outside and Stefan smiled at him. "This was gone. I blew this up."
"Yeah, well" Stefan opened the door of the car. "You weren't around to annoy me for the last four months, so I had a bit of extra time on my hands."

Damon laughed and gave him a slap on the back as they turned to face the car.

"Think of it as an early Merry Christmas-slash-late welcome back to life present" Stefan said with a smile, handing they keys to him. Damon took them and gave him a hug, laughing.
"Thank you."
"Hey, just , uh, do me a favor" Stefan said, pointing at him with his finger. "Don't die again. Those fenders were a real bitch to find."
"Deal" Damon said, staring at his car. Then he looked back at Stefan. "Deal.".

Stefan nodded and walked over to the hall.

"Ha, yeah" Damon shook his head, followed him and closed the door behind him.

Damon looked at the open door with a blank stare. Then he lowered his gaze with a slight frown and Stefan noticed his absent-mindedness.

"Dad?" he said, folding his arms as he stared at Damon. "You okay?"

Damon looked up at him. He seemed a little surprised to look at Stefan, as if it was the first time that he was seeing him. As if, actually, he was seeing his brother again.

"You look just like him" he said. Stefan frowned.
"Have you been drinking bourbon before coming? You know mom doesn't like it" Stefan said mockingly as he shook his head.
"No, I…"
"Damon" Elena called him from the hall, staring at him.

Damon swallowed hard and came back to earth. He slapped Stefan's back and followed Elena. Stefan looked back one last time before entering the house.

He nodded his head slightly, letting the note drop to the table in order to open the jewelry box. He watched the two daylight rings, his and hers, and he smiled softly.

Damon turned the glass in his hand. He was sitting in front of the fireplace, where the fire crackled incessantly, and he finally took a sip, remembering the previous day to Caroline's departure. He smiled, mocking himself, and remembering all the times that he told her that she was a coward for not wanting to go into the house. It reminds you of my brother, and that scares you, he said all over again. Now he understood.

He heard steps behind him and felt Elena's hands on his chest from behind.

"If you find it very hard, we-"
"No" he said. "It's just…"
"It's okay to miss them, Damon. I always do" Elena rested her chin on his shoulder. "Every day."

Damon nodded, watching the fire. Elena sat on the armrest of the chair and stroked his neck. He did not want to admit it out loud, but he missed them. It had been almost 90 years since the last time he had seen Stefan in that house. At the party where his brother stared at Caroline all night, wanting to dance with her, and ending up kissing her.

He smiled, shaking his head. And then he remembered Bonnie, who had been sitting on the chair next to him 20 years ago.

"Are you sure Stefan's bedroom is completely closed?" Elena asked, interrupting his thoughts. "I want to keep Stefan away from… any supernatural stuff."

Damon released a gloomy laugh and took another sip.

"Ironic" he said. Elena looked at him with raised eyebrows and Damon sighed. "I'm sure. All his things are still in his room, which is shut."
"What if he finds the key?"
"Well, then our Stef will find out that he had an uncle with his same name and with his same face, body and-"
"It's not funny, Damon" Elena said, looking back to make sure that Stefan was not nearby.
"It's not funny that our son is a doppelganger that looks exactly like my brother, who died almost 100 years ago, and that we called him Stefan?"
"You were the one who wanted to call him Stefan, remember?"
"He was a crumpled baby, I had no idea he'd look like him."

Elena rolled her eyes and shook her head. The truth is that although 18 years had passed, both of them still wondered how it was possible. It was true that Elena was a doppelganger, and Damon was the brother of another one, but it was just too strange that their first child was born as a replica of Stefan. Damon did not know what to think at first. Over time, however, he let Elena convince him with her theory that maybe it was a miracle and that life had given him another chance to keep remembering his brother somehow.

"I miss Bonnie" Elena said, stroking his neck Damon smiled softly, looking at the fire.
"I know" he said. Elena sighed, kissed him on the cheek and rose.
"I'm going to make sure Stefan is doing okay."

Damon nodded as Elena walked over to the stairs. He glanced at the chair next to him again…

"What's that stupid smile and face for?"

Damon and Stefan were sitting in front of the fireplace, each one of them with a glass in hand. The youngest smiled, looking at his glass.

"Well, you know" he said before taking a sip. "We have the house back. Everything goes as it should. And-"
"And you and Carebear are dandy. Yeah, I get it" Damon said. "What's that smell?"
"That smell is Caroline, making pie of… something" Stefan said proudly.
"Are you serious?"
"It's Caroline" Stefan said with a 'duh' face and chuckled.

Her footsteps were heard behind them, entering the living room. Damon took advantage of her presence to drop one of his comments in order to tease her.

"You mean a crazy woman and a-"
"Yes, Damon" Caroline said. "Don't worry, it's more than clear that we won't miss the other when one of us is no longer here" she said with a fake smile. Damon chuckled and raised his glass.
"Count on it."

Caroline rolled her eyes and sat on Stefan's lap, putting her arms around his neck and stroking it with her hands. He looked at her with a soft smile and she pursed her lips to keep from smiling. Damon looked away and snorted.

"I made cranberry cake to celebrate our welcome back home" she said. "Do you like the taste of the fruit?"

Stefan smiled and brought his face closer to hers to press his lips against hers. Caroline smiled and he chuckled.

"I like this one more" he said, looking at her with a smirk.
"For God's sake" Damon muttered, rolling his eyes. He set the glass on the table and stood up. "I'll leave you alone before you start making out and forget that I'm here."

Stefan and Caroline ignored him and kept immersed in their own bubbles as he kissed her cheek and chin and as she laughed. Damon looked over his shoulder at them one last time before turning the corner, shaking his head and smiling.

Damon set the empty glass on the table in order to stand up. He walked away from the fireplace and the chair, hearing the sound of their laughs somewhere in his mind. He looked over his shoulder at their chair, tasting for a moment the distant cranberry smell.

Stefan flopped on his new bed with the headphone in his ears, listening to the music that his father qualified as weird and nerdy. He snorted with a vague smile, staring at the ceiling.

The house was fine, although it looked both intriguing and familiar at the same time. The truth was that he was feeling himself at home, and even if he hesitated sometimes during the last months, he was now convinced that the change could not go so bad.

If at least Sophia shared the same opinion and thought.

He took his phone for the fourth time in the last 30 minutes when it buzzed and looked at the screen. Aren't you going to call me?, he read.

"Sophia again?" Elena asked, leaning against the door frame with a smile. Stefan stood and removed his headphones.
"I think she doesn't understand the meaning of the word no" he said, shrugging.

Elena shook her head and sat down beside him. She looked around, making sure that there was nothing strange about which Stefan could ask, and she finally looked at him.

"I'm sorry you had to break up with her for having to come here" she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. He frowned.
"It was my fault. I shouldn't have said yes in the first place, the first year of high school. I think I agreed because I was bored" he pursed his lips. Elena looked at him with narrowed eyes.
"Well, maybe… you'll find some girl here" Elena said, nudging him. Stefan rolled his eyes. "Town girls are fine, you know? You have a veteran here."
"Actually, I'd like to forget about girls for a while."

Elena looked at him. He had been with Sophia for 4 years, but he had never been in love. Not with her, not with anyone. Somehow, he reminded her of herself when she dated Matt. So many years without feeling anything.

"What do you think about the house? Do you like it?" she asked.

Stefan stood up and walked around the bedroom, watching everything with his hands in his pockets as Elena followed him with her eyes.

"It's not bad" he said. "Actually, it seems…" Stefan paced his hand over the shelf "familiar."

His fingers touched a book, the only one on the shelf, and Elena's smile vanished from her face. She watched him grabbing it and looking at the cover with interest.

"What's that?" she asked with a lump in her throat. It could not be one of Stefan's old journals, right?
"It's just a book" he said. "Written in 1987. There are real relics here, huh?"
"Yeah" Elena said, relieved. "What's the title?"

Stefan ran his hand over the cover to remove the dust so he could read better.

"Norwegian Wood" he said, his eyes fixed on the cover. "It must have been here for years but… I don't know, maybe I'll give it a reading."
"Yes, do it" Elena said, heading to the door. "But don't forget to call or get in touch with Sophia. That poor girl deserves a definite break up, at least."
"Even more definite?" Stefan asked.
"You know what I mean."

Stefan nodded and sat back on the bed as Elena closed the door of the bedroom. He opened the book and saw a written annotation.

Page 350.

It was the last one of the book. Stefan turned the pages fast, intrigued, and realizing that they were full of underlined sentences, annotations, drawings and words. There was an underlined one in the last page.

I have a million things to talk to you about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning.

Stefan reread the sentence several times, wondering who owned the book. He thought of Damon, but he knew that his father was not a big fan of reading and he did not spend his time underlying sentences. He dropped his head on the pillow, realizing that some sentences were underlined with pencil, others with pen.

That probably meant that two people had shared the book. He was so intrigued that he began to read from the beginning. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning. Perhaps, that was they key.

Caroline turned the page. It was the last one of the book. She swallowed, already feeling the empty that would overwhelm her once she read the last word of the novel. It was funny how that book that helped her to not let go of Stefan.

Reading it and enjoying the underlined sentences by his pencil had become the best way to let time pass in all those moments when Damon was out, taking care of the heretics, and looking for Valerie.

She clenched her jaw at remembering her, feeling the anger flooding her veins, but she finally focused on the words of the last page. And she read and read, until a sentence caught her attention once again.

I have a million things to talk to you about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning.

Irony of fate. She grabbed her pen and underlined the line; her mind, and maybe also her heart, accepting the harsh reality. Deep down, she knew that she had taken the decision the day when she had seen Stefan die in her arms.

Her eyes filled with tears and she looked at her daylight ring with blurred vision. She needed to cling to any kind of hope. Because, maybe, ending with everything meant starting again, from the beginning. Because, maybe, she had to die in order to start again and find him. Wherever he was.

"Care?"

She looked up, gloomy as usual, and looked at Bonnie. The brunette approached her slowly, always careful as if Caroline was going to break. Their friendship had not been the same for some time. Bonnie missed seeing her smile or the joy in her eyes. And Caroline was aware of it, and if she was not so damaged, she would do something about it and please her friend. But she had not pleased anyone for years, not even herself.

"Hey" she said weakly. Bonnie sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the book in her hands. "I finished."

Bonnie nodded, placing her hand on Caroline's ankle above the sheets.

"I have a million things to talk to you about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning" she read. Bonnie looked at her and for the first time she saw some sparkle in her eyes. Caroline looked at her. "Do you think there's something, somewhere?" she asked her. Bonnie frowned, confused. "Do you think that… out there, there's… some way to find someone that we've lost?"
"Caroline…"
"I… I know that the other side is gone, Bonnie" she said more harshly this time. "But something… There's something that tells me that he might be somewhere, waiting for me."

Caroline looked at the door. Stefan smiled softly, his back against the wall, one of his journals hanging from his hand. She smiled back at him with watery eyes.

Bonnie followed the direction of her gaze and looked at the door. There was nothing.

"Waiting for me" Caroline repeated, looking at the book again as she fiddled with her daylight ring.

Bonnie stared at her, fixing her eyes on the ring for long seconds, trying to reject the idea of what Caroline was probably planning.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" she said, rubbing her leg. "You look tired."
"I think I'll start reading it again" Caroline said, opening the book.

Bonnie pursed her lips, not knowing what else she could do or say to take care of her. She left the room and closed the door just when Damon was leaving Stefan's one.

"When have you arrived?" Bonnie asked, folding her arms.
"Half an hour ago" Damon said, locking Stefan's bedroom.
"Where were you?" she asked, noticing the scratches on his wrists.
"Out."
"Damon, we said that there was no way to bring him back, you know that."
"Yes" Damon said, heading to his bedroom. "I know. How's blondie?"
"How do you think?"

Damon nodded, looking down, and closed the door of his bedroom behind him.

Damon turned the key slowly. It was 4am, but he knew that the first night would be the hardest. After opening the door, he leaned against the doorframe and turned on the light.

Damon walked into Stefan's room fast at seeing her on the floor. Bonnie followed him quickly with a worried face.

"Blondie, hey…" Damon grabbed her arms to help her stand up. Caroline stared at the ground with a defeated face.
"Caroline…" Bonnie cupped her cheek with her hand to try to smooth her.
"Stefan, he… He was…" she looked around. Stefan was not there. She had hallucinated it.

Damon looked at the windows. The curtains were drawn, the bed intact, and there was a thing layer of dust on the desk, furniture and shelves. The boxes were stacked in a corner of the room.

He crouched in front of them and saw Stefan's journals through a crack.

"Oh, brother, you were always so dramatic" Damon said with a soft smile.

When he stood up, he saw the jewelry box on the desk. He sighed and opened it, revealing the content inside. He brushed the rings with his fingers, thinking about all the time that had passed, and how much he understood both of them now. They were right. When you disappear without further ado, when you are gone, when time passes, it is difficult to remember clearly. Like that night when Caroline told him that she was scared, she was afraid, and cried nonstop, saying I don't remember his voice, I can't remember his voice all over again.

He clenched his jaw and his fist around the rings, pressing them tightly.

"She's gone, isn't she?" Bonnie asked, sitting on the chair in front of the fireplace.

Damon looked at the jewelry box on the table, open. He looked down and folded his arms.

"I always knew she was going to do it, deep down" she continued, looking at her own hands. She had the rings of Stefan and Caroline on them. "But I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to… accept it."

Damon nodded and sat next to her, dropping on the chair and releasing a sigh.

"I don't blame her" he said. Bonnie looked at him. "Blondie couldn't live without my brother, Bonnie. And she was suffering too much without him."
"Where do you think that she-"
"I have a slight idea" Damon said, pouring a glass to himself. "The cemetery."

Bonnie nodded with a frown.

"She told me something some time ago… I think she had this hope that she'd meet him again, somehow."

Damon laughed, not being able to stop himself.

"Yeah, well" he said, leading the glass to his lips. "We already know how this works. The other side doesn't exist. You said it yourself."
"Yes, I did" Bonnie said, looking at the rings with a frown, thoughtful. "The other side doesn't exist."

They remained silent for a few seconds, and Damon realized how Bonnie seemed to be staring at the rings intently.

"Bon" he said, but she did not answer. Damon snapped his fingers in front of her face. "Bon!"

She woke up from her reverie and looked at him, startled.

"You okay?" he asked. Bonnie cleared her throat and let the rings drop inside the jewelry box.
"Yeah" she said. "It's just that I'd have liked to do something for her. For the last time."

"Your changes of mood will drive me crazy" the brunette man said, climbing the steps. The girl laughed and turned around to put her arms around his neck.
"Thanks for the walk" she said. He smiled and put his hands on her waist. "And for the dinner, and the ice cream, and-"

Her words vanished in the air, as he pressed his lips against her mouth. Her back hit the door and they both smiled as he parted her lips with his tongue. She looked for the knob of the door with her hand to open it and they headed toward the stairs as they undressed each other.

She opened her eyes suddenly, widely, breathing hard and looking at the ceiling. She swallowed and took her phone. When she looked at the screen, she saw that it was 4.30 in the morning.

"Great" she said, pulling the curls away from her face, snorting.

She touched her chest, trying to get some air and to remember something about her dream. But everything was blurry, unsteady.

Remembering had never been easy.