Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Warning: Contains logic that hardly makes sense, NaruNaru, Naruto x ramen (and it means exactly what you think it means), NaruSasu, NaruNeji, NaruHina, perverted!Neji and, um... is unbeta-ed like always.
Enjoy!
Team Kakashi consisted of six people. Three of them were very observant. One of them was still learning and one was just not interested.
The one the other five were currently staring at was rather oblivious to majority of things.
In a way, team Kakashi consisted of over two thousand people. For the oblivious one could multiply himself to many oblivious ones. Though, the three observant ones and the one who simply didn't care, had noticed that, perhaps, the not-original oblivious ones weren't as oblivious as they should have been.
The multiplied oblivious ones were also called shadow clones. The definition for a shadow clone was that it is an exact replica of its creator. It carries the abilities, skills and part of their persona. The only difference would be the submissiveness they hold, since a shadow clone was made to be used by its creator.
But as the observers observed, it seemed like there was a major difference between the oblivious one and the supposed-to-be oblivious ones.
That is, if the suggestive way the clone was giving a backrub to the original one by sitting on the oblivious ones rump, rubbing his crotch against his creators bum in same movements as he palmed the oblivious ones shoulders, was any proof for their suspicions.
But one must have more evidence than that before making any further accusing. It was perhaps the way that the clones failed to pay attention to the opponent, too busy, erm, giving light touches and glances at the original one that had first made them a bit suspicious.
It continued on, turning worse even, when the clones started pampering the original one by offering backrubs and such services. Also, they hissed if you were to approach the oblivious one while he was moaning under their touch, too oblivious to see just how suggestive it all looked to an outsider.
Team Kakashi had their own theories as to why their teammate's favourite technique had started to act strangely.
Very observant number one reported his view of the situation.
"It's idiocy," Sasuke said and turned to look away.
Very observant number two looked at Sasuke with amusement in her eyes, but decided not to comment on the way Sasuke usually stared at the 'idiocy' a moment too long.
"Maybe Kyuubi makes Naruto's original body somehow different than his clones?" Sakura tried. It was so easy to always blame the fox.
Very observant number three shut his perverted book he had read after having convinced his students that an explanation to every form of perversity could be found from it.
"That could be it," Kakashi said, watching as the clone stripped Naruto out of his jacket. "I mean, Naruto was the student of Jiraiya yet he turned out to be so innocent."
The one who wasn't as interested as the rest of them thought that maybe they should stop the clone from taking off Naruto's T-shirt as well but did nothing to make his thoughts reality.
"Are you saying that Kyuubi messes with the synapses in Naruto's brain to keep him non-perverted?" Yamato-sensei asked lazily, playing along. Sakura frowned thoughtfully.
"So, since the clones don't have a demon messing with their brain they can freely use the perversity Naruto's subconscious holds after all those years with Jiraiya?"
The one still learning didn't really have anything to say. Except that Naruto might be trying to make up for the size of his penis by increasing the amount of his penises. That, Sai could understand.
"And since the clones are very perverted like Naruto should be at that age and are made to please their creator, it would only make sense that they keep molesting our poor Naruto."
Kakashi and Sakura nodded, Sai copying them after the two of them had already stopped.
"It's nice you figured it out an all, but-" Yamato-sensei tried but Sakura interrupted him.
"But why would Kyuubi protect Naruto from being a pervert?"
Personally, Kakashi had always imagined Naruto to grow up to be the ultimate pervert of all times. After all, he had had Kakashi and Jiraiya teaching him. All those years, wasted just because some demon was opposed to the idea of a hormonally running wild Naruto!
"Maybe the fox has issues about humans touching what it views at its temporary body."
"Or maybe it has noticed the way Sasuke keeps looking at Naruto and views cocks up his ass as a physical threat!"
Dodging Chidori was a trick Sai had learned from observing Naruto.
"Uh, guys-" But Yamato-sensei was ignored yet again.
"So, the fox is disturbed by the thought of Naruto having sex and tries to make him oblivious to it! But Naruto's a teenager, he has hormones…"
"And gets horny without realising it, yet his clones do and try to please their creator and there's nothing Kyuubi can do about them since it's kind of like Naruto is touching himself," Kakashi finished what Sakura had started to say.
They smiled at each other, quite pleased of their little theory. Sai smiled with them, still not understanding how all that shit his teammates just sprouted had anything to do with the size of Naruto's penis.
Yamato-sensei waited for a little while, expecting someone to start talking anytime now, but as no one did, he opened his mouth, this time, without any interruptions.
"All right. Now that you established that, should we stop the clone before it rapes Naruto?"
The five of them turned to look at Naruto again. The clone had removed the original one's shirts already, leaving him bare-chested, and now was fumbling with the zipper of Naruto's pants. Naruto just had a rather content smile on his face, as if it was perfectly normal to be stripped down by your clone in the training grounds.
It was Sasuke who stomped over there, his Sharingan spinning as he glared at the clone who glared back. The glare disappeared along with the clone as it was sliced with Sasuke's sword.
"You, dobe! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Naruto sat up from his previous position on lying on the ground.
"What? He just said that I looked hot and helped me get my clothes off."
'Oh, you're hot alright,' was what Sasuke thought as his eyes roamed on Naruto's torso, all the way down to his zipped open pants.
"Come on, you have issues; we're taking you to see Tsunade."
Sasuke dragged the protesting and confused Naruto with him, heading towards the Hokage tower. The rest of their team followed just for the fun of it.
- - - - - - - - - -
Tsunade had read through the report on Naruto's strange condition Sakura had written her. It seemed like her precious Naruto's favourite technique and the source of its power had really started to backfire on him.
"You need to stop it, Naruto," she winched a little at the illegally adorable look that took on Naruto's face when she ordered him to stop using his trademark technique.
"But why!?"
She also winched when she remembered Sakura mentioning that they hadn't said anything to Naruto about it and left the explaining to Tsunade.
"Because the way they keep touching you might prove to be quite inconvenient."
"But Jiraiya always said it's only normal, expected even, to, you know, touch yourself!" Despite the innocence Naruto was supposed to represent, his words held no shame. His cheeks weren't flushed as a hint of even the tiniest bit of embarrassment.
Tsunade made a note to ask Jiraiya just what else he had taught Naruto.
"How far have you gone with them, then?"
And still no embarrassed blush, Tsunade was slightly disappointed. Naruto stared at her suspiciously.
"Baba, are you a pervert, too?"
Naruto left the Hokage's office with a bump on his head and some seal that prevented him from performing his favourite jutsu. He didn't know how the hag had managed to seal away just the one technique, but it didn't matter.
It was with a grin that Naruto greeted the two other Naruto's that waited him in his apartment.
- - - - - - - - - -
Neji just happened to pass Naruto's window by a mere coincidence, or by fate as Neji preferred to say. Fate indeed, it had been on Neji's side ever since he had fought with Naruto. It had blessed Neji with the Byakugan, too.
Neji stopped, a safe distance away from Naruto's window and activated his bloodline limit. It would never hurt to make sure that Naruto was alright in his apartment. Unknown to him, his dear cousin, Hinata, was already checking the well being of the blond on the other side of the house.
Naruto was home, cooking ramen and happily talking to someone. No one was in the kitchen at the moment but Neji cursed either way, hoping it wasn't that abandoned-by-fate Uchiha Naruto kept talking to.
But it wasn't the Uchiha that walked into the kitchen, no, to Neji's (and Hinata's) delight it was just another Naruto. The other Naruto walked behind the one cooking ramen and wrapped his arms around the tanned body. Neji's eyes twitched. He shifted a bit to make himself more comfortable, it seemed like he would be sitting outside Naruto's window a little while longer than he originally planned.
The one cooking ramen was struggling in the others hold, clearly not approving how the other tried to pull him away from the stove. A third Naruto walked into the kitchen and helped the second to pry the original away from the ramen. Finally the two Naruto's fell to the ground and the third took the task of cooking the only thing Naruto ever seemed to eat.
Neji's eyes started to water slightly from the lack of blinking. But how could he blink when the second Naruto started to molest the original Naruto! Neji could see the moan Naruto let out when the clone twisted his nipples.
Pants were removed and Neji cursed being so far away. Although he could without a doubt use this image later tonight, he wasn't close enough to see all the details.
The original Naruto was standing on his knees on the kitchen floor the other behind him. Neji couldn't see if the other was already inside or just humping that tanned ass, but it didn't matter, not really. It was enough to make Neji all hot and bothered either way.
The Naruto that was being fucked tried to fall forward, to bend over properly because it seemed like the pleasure was driving him crazy and he didn't have the strength to keep himself standing straight like that anymore, but the clone behind him refused to let him fall and pressed his back tightly against his chest, pushing in with more force. It looked like Naruto's screams rose in volume.
Blood started to drip on Neji's clothes but he didn't care. As a ninja, sometimes being soaked in blood came with the profession. Be it from the enemy's veins or from his own nose.
The Naruto responsible of cooking was already done with his task. He had placed the noodles into a deep glass and waited for it to cool down. Both Neji's and the currently being fucked Naruto's eyes widened when the one responsible for the cooking pushed the glass of ramen around Naruto's previously very neglected cock.
I was indeed fate that was on Neji's side, as he watched Naruto fuck ramen and himself at the same time. Bet the Uchiha never thought about that in his nightly fantasies.
Naruto came with a scream and went limp against the one behind him. The one holding the ramen took chopsticks from the table and took some noodles between them. Neji leaned forwards a bit, when the flushed Naruto opened his mouth to eat the same ramen he had just fucked. Poor noodles.
A drop of something white dropped on Naruto's pink cheeks from the noodles and the one behind him licked it away. Oh yes, Neji would definitely save that sight for later tonight.
- - - - - - - - - -
When Naruto left his apartment a little after having his lunch, he smelled blood. A lot of blood. Near his apartment no less. Quickly, he hopped on the roofs to investigate what had happened.
He found Hinata crouched over Neji on the roof, both covered in blood. Neji was unconscious and Hinata was pale, trying to lift Neji up. Naruto panicked.
"Hinata! What the hell happened to you two!?"
Hinata let out a high pitched squeak, facing Naruto with slightly horrified eyes.
"Uh, um, N-Naruto, t-that is, Neji j-just… F-fell and hit his nose!"
The concern disappeared from Naruto's face and he laughed at Neji's clumsiness. Hinata sighed from relief, good thing Naruto bought it. Now, all she needed to do was to get the hell away from the blond before something more unfortunate happened.
"Here, let me help you carry him to the hospital. You don't look too good yourself, maybe they should examine you too."
Hinata panicked when Naruto lifted Neji's motionless body from the roof and started walking towards the hospital, turning to look at Hinata expectantly.
"N-no, Naruto! This i-is not necessary, I-"
"Nonsense! Come on now, Hinata."
With all honesty, Hinata respected Neji very much, but not enough to go too far for him in a situation like this. Neji was on his own with this. Hinata went home.
- - - - - - - - - -
Tsunade came from the room and Naruto looked at her, expecting her to explain what was wrong.
"Did he wake up?"
"No, but he didn't mumble something in his sleep."
"What?"
Naruto suspected that maybe he shouldn't have asked, if the way Tsunade's brow kept twitching was the usual sign of danger he was used to.
"Something about three Naruto's and ramen."
Definitely the usual sign of danger. Naruto laughed nervously.
"Is there something you want to tell me, Naruto?"
"Um, no?"
- - - - - - - - - -
When Naruto came to, he found himself in a prison cell. It was unfair really, that the old hag would ban him from sexual acts. According to Jiraiya, everyone did it. And now Naruto was locked away just because his choice of relieving himself disturbed the old Hokage.
He didn't know exactly what Tsunade was trying prove by locking him up, but Naruto would take it like a man. He'd just have to jack off extra hard when he got out of there.
But the frustration grew and Naruto couldn't take it like a man anymore. Kyuubi's hold of his innocence was dripping away as hours went by and finally, the fox gave up and just let Naruto be the pervert he was born to be.
It was then when Naruto realised he shouldn't take it like a man, but give it like a man.
It was with pure strength caused by extreme sexual frustration that Naruto broke out of his cell.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Well, I suppose that's problem solved then," Tsunade said.
And it was, in a way. Naruto had a more satisfied smile on his face and his clones didn't need to tend to his sexual needs anymore, making them more focused in battles than they had been before.
And with such a small cost, too! Only one cell broke down, three guards were in the hospital and Sasuke and Neji, and for some reason, Sai, walked funnily for only two weeks. Hinata had recovered a little faster.
Though, Naruto was still rather oblivious to the fact that more people had taken interest in his skill to make people walk funnily. But it seemed like Sasuke, Neji and Hinata had taken the roles of the clones and hissed at everyone who dared to approach their oblivious blond.
"I don't think you solved anything, Tsunade-hime. You just made it worse," Jiraiya said but was actually quite proud of his student.
Tsunade sighed and drowned down more sake. She wouldn't involve in this anymore. Her precious Naruto could be as perverted as he wanted for all she cared.
-END-
It was so hard to come up with an ending to this! And it was actually meant to be only a NaruNaru and NaruRamen but somehow it kind of got out of hand.
Comment and Criticize!