SG-1 – A Kiss for St Patrick's Day
A big thank-you to my very efficient beta reader. May the snow leave her state soon and may she get as many daffodils as she wishes ;)
And to Pauline, the very first person who took the time to read my fics and encouraged me to go on – I hope you'll like this one.
Jack had been heading the SGC for a few months and the least one could tell was things had not gone on smoothly. More action had come in his way than one needed in a lifetime. If he had expected a cozy desk job, he had then been in for a huge disappointment. This is why when he had reached the base early that morning, he had been hoping – should we be so bold as to say wishing – for an uneventful day. It was St Patrick's Day and he had taken care of everything in advance. No trips through the Stargate had been scheduled for any of the teams, no officials were expected to tour the site, not even a single inventory of the base's paper supply could have disturbed that perfect day.
After all, he was of Irish descent and though he'd never set foot in Ireland, that day was always special for him, if only for the joyful mood that he always was in. Something about the white creamy foam on top of the ebony liquid the bartender would set in front of him that night or maybe the happiness of the merry-makers in the New York parade he would watch on the bar's huge TV screen or maybe it was the homemade shamrock cookies he had received that morning from his mom. He was never grinchie on that day. He even felt jolly, he told him, especially this year.
Being the base commander came with a few benefits, one of which and probably the most crucial one for him being he could organize whatever celebration he wanted on base, as long as it did not disturb work.
He'd planned this for weeks, choosing the menu for the canteen – only Irish food of course though he knew not everyone loved Colcannon or Irish stew. Come to think about it, he didn't even remember he liked them either but one had to live dangerously when one lived at the SGC, right? He'd also seen to it that there would be tons of decorations in the corridors. Again, he wasn't sure he enjoyed green so much. He had even wondered if it would be becoming to wear such an awkward color and he was most worried about Carter. Would it compliment her eyes? Anyway, it was too late to worry about it anyway.
When he exited the elevator and headed towards his office, he saw that his staff had done as he had ordered. Green trimmings were hanging everywhere and had transformed the corridors into a sort of jungle maze. Did I overdo it? He wondered for what might have been the fraction of a second. 'Course not! It was St Patrick's Day! He might not have a river at hand to color green but he had been right to buy the whole supply of decorations from the stores in Colorado Springs.
He heard the first strings of his favorite song by the Corrs being played on the loud speakers in the corridors and was satisfied that his memo about music had also been received and his orders respected. He sighed with content. Irish music would be playing all day. He made a few dancing steps on entering his office and was greeted by the exasperated look of his usually easy-going ordinance. He chose to ignore the look. Nobody could make him grumpy today. "Nothing to report, Sergeant?" he asked.
"No, Sir. Except of course for the music that's been on since three this morning..." the young man replied with a force smile and a salute.
"As you were," Jack ordered him. "Yes, I know about the music. Ordered it myself," he added grinning as he walked towards his office. He didn't see the young man roll his eyes behind his back."Ain't it lovely?"
"And soothing for our nerves, Sir," mumbled the younger man, insisting on the last word.
Jack settled in his chair for what he thought would be a day of celebration. He had cleared his desk of all the paperwork that had been piling up for weeks now and he had decided that he would treat himself to a day-off at work, so to speak. Everything had already been taken care of so he could set his feet up on the desk and watch the parades on TV or a few reruns of all his favorite TV movies about Ireland and leprechauns. Those were on kids' channels but no one would notice because nobody had any reason to come to his office. No reunions, no staff meetings, no debriefings. He smiled and grabbed the remote control... That's when the first annoying intrusion occurred – one in a long, endless list that day. Barely eight in the morning and someone was already rapping on his door. Murphy's law, he thought then decided to ignore that idea. He needed to think positive. Nothing could go wrong. He'd been careful to take care of everything in advance, right? Well, maybe not...
The first to come was Walter. He was only bringing a greeting card with an Irish blessing on it: "May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow, and may trouble avoid you wherever you go," it said on the cover. "Everyone in the gate control room has signed it, Sir, as well as all the cook hands at the commissary... To make this day a special day for you too, Sir," said the man before retreating to the door. He saluted – twice – then left in a hurry. Jack couldn't help noticing he was not the first person to insist on his epithet that day. The guard at the entrance, the Airman outside the elevator, his ordinance – everyone was being really polite today. He grinned. He'd finally earned their respect as the head of base, he thought, proud of himself.
He cocked his head to the side, pleased with himself, and grabbed the remote control once more... That's when Daniel made his entrance. He was holding a garland of shamrocks. "Hey, Jack, hi! Thought I'd drop by to see if you'd gotten one of those awesome decorations we got all around base." A smile was plastered on his face. He didn't give him time to answer. "I see that you have not. What a pity! Look how gorgeous they are... And green too!" he added, grinning some more. He grabbed a chair and pinned the garland above Jack's door then got off the chair. "See," he said, still grinning, "that way you'll see it every time you look up from your work," he explained then left as quickly as he had arrived. Jack watched him leave, his eyes wide as saucers. "Wow, what got into the man? He's awfully merry today," he thought.
This time, he didn't even have time to think about grabbing the remote control again. It was Teal'c's turn to appear in the doorway. "Good morning, O'Neill," he said, a wide smile on this face. Now, that was something Jack had never gotten used to in all their years together. It was always creepy to see the Jaffa smile and today, he had the broadest smile ever.
"Hi, buddy, how can I help you?" Jack asked hesitantly. He was kind of worried now. What had gotten into his staff was getting weirder by the minute, kind of like waking up in the twilight zone, if you see what I mean...
"Actually, it is I who can do something for you, O'Neill," the Jaffa replied ominously. Jack looked at him in dismay.
"I've been told that it is most important in your culture to bless one's friends on this day so I've come with my own blessing – for good luck," he elaborated, seeing Jack was kind of lost there. Jack nodded and waited for him to go on. "May you live a hundred years, with one extra year to repent," said the Jaffa then bowed low and left. Jack shook his head. What an enigmatic way of blessing someone, he thought, and what was he to repent about anyway? But then Teal'c being Teal'c...
The day went by without a single moment for himself. He didn't get a chance to even take a peek at the reruns on TV except for one single time when he started watching a silly thing about a grumpy leprechaun being tricked into exchanging his pot of gold for a bucket of coal. Jack was laughing his head off when Siler appeared at the door that had unfortunately been left ajar when an umpteenth visitor had left after dropping yet another silly gift for St Patrick's Day. His office was now littered with hats and pots and rainbows and whatnot. It was all very nice but they had overdone it a little. He had boxes of cookies to last for the whole year and someone from the commissary had even offered him a box of Lucky Charms cereals with only the green cereals left in them. He'd told them it was a gift from all the kitchen crew. They must have spent hours sorting through boxes of cereal to prepare that special gift. This was so endearing, though a little creepy and disgusting, come to think about it...
Anyway, when he heard yet another person was rapping on his door, he switched off the TV hurriedly, not wanting someone to know he was watching a program a ten-year-old would be ashamed to watch. He certainly didn't want to be caught red-handed. Not that he minded in general but his staff seemed to think highly of him so he didn't want to disappoint them. All those wonderful greeting cards with wonderful blessings on them told him quite clearly he was held in high esteem by the people on base, right?
Siler peered in. "Can I come, Sir?" he asked most respectfully. He was pissed he couldn't watch the end of the show but as the guy obviously wanted to talk to him and he was being so deferential, well, he couldn't send him away, could he? He motioned for him to come in. Siler saluted. "Sir, sorry to bother you. You must have tons of work to do..." he added, waiting to see if he could go on.
Jack felt guilty. No he wasn't working when he should probably have. He was the head of base and here he was, watching TV while everybody thought he was buried under work. He coughed. "That's OK, I can spare you a moment..."
"Well, Sir, it was just to drop this for you from the guys at the lab, Sir. We did this for you so you could enjoy the day even if you're stuck in your office while we all out there can enjoy the music and food and decorations..." he explained. He set a leprechaun doll on Jack's desk and keyed in a code on a nine-digit pad under the hat. The leprechaun started to dance and sing Danny Boy. Siler beamed. "Well, Sir, my work is done here. Hope you'll like our very modest gift. Have a nice day, Sir," he said and left. Jack stared in dismay at the door being shut.
It's only when he heard the footsteps of the man quickly receding that it stroke him. How was he gonna switch off that thing if he didn't have the code? His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to count the numbers of – let's be frank – almost endless possibilities on a nine-digit code. He didn't even know how many digits the man had punched... Man, it was awfully nice of them to offer him that unique piece but there was no way he was gonna listen to that music for the rest of the day. He tried to dial the lab's number but the line was curiously disconnected... What a weird day!
He grabbed his cell phone and called Carter. It was almost three in the afternoon. He was getting tired and had that huge headache building up at the back of his head. He needed her to come and fix the problem. He couldn't simply toss the thing in another room. It was bound to attract someone's attention and then it might hurt the boys' feelings to learn he had gotten rid of it. No, Carter would come and she'd find the code in no time. He grinned. He loved to see her solve problems. He enjoyed it immensely every time she did that. She was so smart it seemed as easy as a walk in the park for her. And was she cute! That turned him on every single time. Focus! He chided himself. "Hey, Carter," he said, "Can you come to my office asap, please? I have a tiny weeny little problem I'd like my favorite scientist to solve."
"Problem?" she prompted. "Anything with the gate?" she asked, sounding worried.
"No, don't worry, just a personal matter..." He suddenly felt stupid for calling her for such a personal reason but then again, he was kind of desperate here! She agreed to come and hung up. He could have sworn he'd heard her giggling.
She arrived five minutes later and saluted. "Sir? You wanted to see me, Sir?" she said, standing at attention.
He rolled his eyes. "Come on, Sam, not you! What's going on with you people? Everyone's tossing Sirs around here as if I were the President or something! This is really annoying, ya know?" He was quite upset and had raised his voice without realizing it. He saw the ghost of a smile on her lips but she remained motionless. He waved at her. "Damn! As you were, Sam! And what's so funny anyway?"
She schooled herself not to laugh. "Nothing, Sir..."
"Argh!" he interrupted her, wagging his finger at her.
"The leprechaun is very funny, that's all, Sir," she added, undeterred.
He groaned. "Yeah, well, it's fine for the first five minutes then it kind of gets on your nerves, see... Fix it, please!" he ordered, feeling grumpy.
"Kind of like St Patrick's Day itself, right, Sir?" she quipped, grabbing the doll from his desk and lifting the hat.
"What?" he demanded and looked at her inquiringly.
"Well, yes, you know, Sir, all those traditional stuff people do for St Patrick's Day. It seems OK at first but then, after a while, it really gets on your nerves..." she said while punching the buttons.
The thought that she was not entirely speaking about the leprechaun or weird gifts he had received all day crossed his mind. "Are you talking about the things I organized for the base, Sam?" he asked suspiciously, glowering at her.
"Oh, no, Sir, I wouldn't dare, Sir. That would be disrespectful..." she answered cheekily. "No, Sir, I was just referring to that annoying tradition you might not be aware of, though you should know it as a man of Irish descent..." she added, grinning at him now.
"What tradition?" he snapped.
"Kissing the blarney stone... Sir," she said, handing him the now silent leprechaun and winking at him mischievously before turning and sashaying towards the door. His eyes followed her, his mouth agape.
"You might want to close that mouth, Jack," she told him over her shoulder before leaving the room. "And next time you plan a celebration, remember you're not the only one who's able to overdo it. You've got a whole team of very capable people down here!" she yelled at him from the corridor. He heard her giggles receding towards the elevator.
"Ya' comin' to the party tonight, Sam?" he yelled back.
"Depends, Sir? Can I tell the boys you've learned your lesson well?" He saw her peering through the door. She had retraced her steps and had now a very smug look on her face.
"You planned that, didn't you?" he asked, still glowering.
She looked at him straight in the eyes. "Team work, Sir..." she replied. "So?" she added inquiringly.
"It's blackmail," he pointed out.
"I know..." she agreed, crossing her arms on her chest and leaning her shoulder against the door frame.
"OK, turn off the music and you can remove some of the trimmings," he agreed reluctantly, insisting on the "some". "You're so gonna pay for that one day, Sam," he informed her.
"Can't wait, Sir," she said, grinning at him. She turned and left.
"Tease," he muttered.
"I heard that, Jack," he heard her say, giggling.
For those who have not guessed it yet or are not aware of that Irish expression, kissing the blarney stone means being proficient in the art of flattery. Sure hope you liked this story. Happy St Patrick's Day to all of you out there – May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future ;)