Sequel to my story '8 long years'. I think this only makes sense when you read that before this one! :)
Enjoy!
He had managed for 8 years.
I had managed to escape his grasp for 8 years. For 8 long years I was able to dodge very thing thrown at me. I was always able to skip away in the last second. But not anymore. He caught me. I took him 8 years but he finally caught me. And the instance his hands reached my neck and started to squeeze, I knew I wouldn't be able to escape this time. I didn't know what I was supposed to feel. Should I feel scared or sad, because I knew I would die in mere moments? Should I feel regret because I had let it come to this? Or should I feel happy because I was able to spend the last moments of my life with the man I loved the most.
I didn't know and I couldn't decide on one. None of these feelings seemed to really fit the situation.
Shizu-chan suddenly squeezed harder and I couldn't suppress a groan. It hurt. I had never hurt before. Never like this. This was physical pain. No one had ever been able to cause me physical pain. I didn't like it, I felt weak. This was not right, I had to do something. I struggled and moaned to show him my discomfort. I cut open my leg in the process and it hurt a little bit. It was bleeding. I could feel the blood running down my left leg. Would he care that I was bleeding because of him? The look in his eyes told me that he wouldn't. He would never care about me at all. He enjoyed my pain. He almost seemed addicted to it. He looked so insane but powerful at the same time. It was a Shizu-chan I had never seen before. I didn't like it.
I don't know when I started crying. Tears just seemed to fit the situation. People always cry when someone dies. Would someone cry for me? Maybe mom and dad would… Or Mairu and Kururi? That didn't seem realistic to me at all. I mean, why would they cry? Would you cry for someone you didn't like? Well, maybe they would have to. I mean someone has to cry at my funeral, right? Isn't that how it works?
As Shizuo's grip became stronger I wondered if I would even get a funeral or if he would just leave me in this alley. Never to be found. Missing from the world, with only him knowing where my flesh and bones were rotting away. It sounded kind of exciting.
I struggled but managed to voice out my thoughts. My voice sounded strange but I think he understood what I wanted to tell him. They couldn't know. Because if he tells them and they still don't come to my funeral I'll have to face the fact that I'm not loved, that I never was. It was better not to tell them at all. Maybe they would find out in a few weeks or in a few months. Maybe it would even take years. Just not now. They can't know right now. I'm not ready to let them know that I died. I'm not ready to be alone. I'm not ready to realize that I was never loved to begin with; it was nice to pretend that they just didn't know my new number and didn't know where my house was. It was fine like that. It was enough for me.
Shizu-chan's grip tightened once more. I couldn't talk now. He was squeezing too hard. It was getting harder to breath. He seemed to enjoy the silence or maybe he was just enjoying the fact that he was the one to shut me up. Shizuo had never liked my voice. He had always told me how much it annoyed him. I never noticed how much I really liked to speak. How much I really liked to call his name with my own voice. I couldn't do that anymore now. I would never be able to say anybody's name out loud again. For now I could still think the names but judging by the look in his eyes I wouldn't even be able to do just that in a few moments. It's weird seeing him so mad. He always looked angry when I saw him but this was new. He looked so insane. I knew that I would never be able to look like that, even when people always told me how insane I was. Not even I could make such a face.
He's the bigger monster after all. I knew it.
Suddenly something in my head clicked and I realized I was about to die. Die! I mean, I can't die. I'm important! People need me! Shiki and-and… Shinra! Shinra needs me! Shizu-chan stop! My face suddenly fell. My smirk. My trademark... was gone! I couldn't smirk anymore. I was about to die, I couldn't smirk. Smirking wasn't what I was supposed to do in this situation; I have to call for help! Yes, help! But I couldn't talk anymore. I couldn't scream. And nobody would care anyways. It was too late.
Shizu-chan was now looking directly into my eyes and that turned out to be a bad thing. His grip got tighter and tighter, I couldn't breathe. STOP! Shizu-chan! I can't breathe! Please, I'll die! Stop, I'll seriously die! STOP!
But Shizu-chan didn't stop, instead he started. He started shouting. It was bad, so bad. I knew I kind of deserved every word he said but it was still not nice to hear them. The words… they hurt. He was so blinded by rage. I don't think he even realized what he was shouting by now. Suddenly the grip loosened and his hands were gone from my neck. But it was too late. Too late for me. I shuddered as I took my last breath. I could hear someone laughing somewhere. Was it Shizu-chan?
And then, just like that, it ended. I died.
I had managed to escape his grasp for 8 years. I had managed to hide my love for him for 8 years. He never noticed how much I was addicted to him.
How much I had needed him.
I took me 8 years. 8 long years until I was killed by the love of my life, Heiwajima Shizuo.
So I kinda was in the mood to do Izaya's point of view of the whole thing. I personally don't like it that much. I just couldn't really get Izaya's character right, it feels off. :/ I also so think I messed up with the tenses like... big time! :D haha, anyways tell me if you liked or if you didn't! :)