This is the sequel to It is Not that I Hated You (chronologically, it takes place before the epilogue). I chose to make them separate fics since they differ in setting, mood and intrigue.

After a fic mainly from Suoh's point of view, here is one mainly from Nokoru's.

It is very Suoh-and-Nokoru centered, with almost no Akira or other characters. Hopefully you won't get tired of the sap. (I don't.)

Chapter 1 - Musings

Nokoru wasn't dumb. He was even a genius, after all.

It took him all of two days to understand that his sudden urge to sleep with Suoh in his arms meant he was in love with him.

And quite frankly, if he hadn't been busy assuring Suoh's immediate well-being with his mother's complicity the morning after Suoh slept at his place, then planning an impromptu one-year-long trip to Belgium, he'd have figured it out much sooner.

Nokoru thus abruptly discovered he was gay, and couldn't say it shocked him overmuch.

So he would never marry. He would never have children. He would forever have a good part of society mock him and spurn him.

He didn't care.

All he wanted was Suoh.

But of course, that didn't mean he would have Suoh. That depended on the other boy.

And Nokoru discovered finding out whether Suoh loved him was more difficult than solving any of his previous detective cases.

First, there was the bond that made Suoh his protector. Suoh had as good as admitted it emotionally linked him to Nokoru in a very strong way. So it could easily be mistaken for love.

And Suoh liked him, bond or no. Of that, Nokoru was one hundred per cent sure. Friendship carried affection, like love, so there was a possibility of getting confused there, too.

Of course, Nokoru could declare. Usually, declaring was a good, if scary, way of getting at the truth, after all. But not in this case.

What if Nokoru declared his love and Suoh didn't feel the same way? The generous blue-haired teen, with his spirit of sacrifice and devotion, might pretend to love back in order to make Nokoru happy. Which absolutely wouldn't do.

Even if Suoh didn't do that, Nokoru being attracted to him might frighten him. Some Takamuras were abused by their One, after all, and Suoh's mind was messed up with fear quite enough as it was.

And even if Suoh had sense enough not to pretend to love back and not to feel fear in front of a non-existent threat, he would surely be embarrassed. It was bad enough when people were afraid of losing a friend by making a declaration. Nokoru and Suoh couldn't lose each other, because of the bond, which Nokoru privately felt as a relief; but Suoh might understandably cringe at being stuck forever with someone who loved him when he couldn't love back.

So Nokoru would imperatively have to make sure, or at least have a good hunch, of Suoh's feelings towards him before he showed any interest himself.

Drat. With a reserved person like Suoh, that could take ages. Nokoru definitely wasn't the type to wait ages. Time not spent kissing Suoh was time wasted.

But Nokoru didn't have a brain for nothing. He'd find a way to get at the truth. Or, more probably, a dozen or so.

Which would all probably involve teasing Suoh mad.

Nokoru grinned.

But was Suoh gay to begin with? He wondered. Part of the problem depended on that, too. Most people were not, so that didn't put statistics on his side.

Did Suoh look gay?

Nokoru honestly had no idea. He'd just only realized he himself was gay, after all, so he wasn't a very good judge. Suoh sure wasn't interested in clothes and fancy things like that. And he was strong and quite manly, if on the slender side.

Nokoru blushed and fanned himself. Oh, what had made him understand he loved Suoh was his ardent wish to comfort him, to make him happy, to have him always by his side, to laugh and cry with him. He even wanted to grow old with him. But hormones were coming into it, now. Suoh was simply gorgeous. How come he had never caught on to that? He'd been slower than the fangirls. Nokoru couldn't think of anything more beautiful, now he reflected on it. And the thought of Suoh kissing him rapturously, of his hands caressing his whole body, made his head spin and his body react very uncomfortably.

But all that would have to be quenched for a while, he told himself firmly, even if they did go out together. They were still very young. Suoh was barely fourteen, and for the moment, psychologically fragile. Nokoru was aware that teens didn't know how to control their hormones properly and often went too far before they were ready. He didn't even know exactly how relations between two boys were supposed to work. Better leave that for later. Exchanging kisses with Suoh and dragging him on crazy dates would be enough for a long while. More than enough. Nokoru felt like what he wanted most in the world was hug Suoh all day long. He hadn't realized he felt lonely and yearned for a soulmate. And if he was lonely, surrounded with affection as he was, then how must Suoh feel, when the Takamuras were failing to see what a wonderful person he was?

Nokoru sighed. He wanted to hug Suoh right now. And maybe kiss the tip of his nose.