Chapter One: Trouble
For the past two months UNIT have been harassing Torchwood Three to catalogue and neutralise a piece of Alien Weaponry they found amongst the debree of a supposed asteroid crash a while ago. It had been giving out powerful rift spike signals and Torchwood coverscated it. Obviously UNIT werent best pleased and demanded to know its orign and background information for a report, Ianto spun them quite a convincing story although a member of UNIT had pointed out that he had seen said item before but couldn't place it...although it definitely wasnt a Raxiflorian Telecommunications Device. That's for sure.
It was a Sunday, UNIT had sent the employee in question to visit the Torchwood Base and aid them in the categorisation of the object. Little did Ianto Jones know, it was none other than his friend Damon Holmes from Torchwood One. He left to transfer to UNIT after his wife had a child and he sought a less dangerous job title. Both were killed during the CyberInvasion around the time of Canary Wharf.
Jack brought Damon down to the hub's board room to stage a meeting. He knew that UNIT were devious little so-and-so's, in which case Ianto would RetCon Damon before he left and explain to UNIT that they had come to a conclusion on their own accord and the extra help was in no way needed.
"This is-" Jack began but was interrupted by Ianto as Damon entered the room in tow.
"Damon...Damon Holmes..is that you!?" Ianto all-but squeaked.
"Well if it isn't Ianto 'office-slut' Jones!" Damon exclaimed with a big grin breaching his face.
"Heeeeey! I wasnt THAT bad!" Ianto tried to reason,
"You slept with the entire Research staff, and you were supposed to be their boss! You were bad baby...don't deniy it!"
"Wha-?" Owen began with his mouth hung open. Tosh blushed and Gwen was just staring at him wide-eyed.
Jack laughed. "God, its like a mini me!"
"And who is this handsome devil?" Damon said quirking an eyebrow at Ianto.
"That is Jack Harkness, our leader and resident flirt." Owen deadpanned.
"Thats Captain to you!" Jack corrected with a chuckle from Ianto.
"Well its a pleasure to meet you Captain, I'm guessing you're the boss man here, so what does that make Ianto? Second in command?" Damon queried smirking and shaking Jack's hand.
Owen pissed himself laughing. "More like tea-boy and bosses shag!"
Ianto went bright red.
"Haha! Good one mate!" Damon claped Owen on the back, turning back to Ianto.
"So?"
Ianto got up and muttered something about making coffee.
"Ah, ah, ahhh, dont think you're getting out of it that easily" Damon piped up, grabbing Ianto's arm and pulling him back down into his chair.
"Hes right." Ianto said quietly.
"Bloody hell! How the mighty have fallen, eh?" Damon laughed in disbelief.
"Yeah, well, it aint that bad" Ianto muttered, trying to ease the situation,
"Yeah right, I mean, I know you loved ya coffee mate, but seriously? The Ianto I know would have told em to stick the poxy job where the sun dont shine!" Damon reminisced,
"Yeah, well people change." Ianto all but whispered, avoiding eye contact.
"Anyway...this is Damon Holmes, hes from UNIT and hes here to 'help to distinguish possible alien weaponry' or in other words annoy us to no end." Jack said trying to change the subject. He could see Ianto fidgeting out the corner of his eye. Ianto never fidgeted.
"Hey! I aint like the other wankas from UNIT, I'm actually a decent guy, ask Ianto here...he'll vouch for me wont ya?" Damon asked turning the rooms attention back on Ianto once again.
"He's alright, when he aint being a dickhead" Ianto said slyly shocking Tosh and Gwen as to his choice of words. Ianto never swore let alone said 'dickhead'.
Owen laughed. "So Mr . Perfect aint so perfect after all, eh? Guess you wont be able to have a go at me for my language anymore!"
Ianto scowled.
"Shut up Owen" Gwen said nudging his arm.
"Well I can't be that bad seeing as you went out with me!" Damon joked,
"It was six weeks!" Ianto explained,
"The best six weeks of my life!"
"You must have had a pretty shit life."
"You should know, you were ordering me around ten ways from sunday!"
"I was your boss, thats what I was paid to do"
"Yer, and your friend, you could have at least gave me privallages!"
"I did!"
"No you didnt!"
"I bloody well did, remember Lisa's 23rd?"
"Oh..."
"Oh, indeed."
"Anyway...back on subject" Jack tried and failed to put the conversation back on task.
"How is Lisa? I saw her name on the list of the dead...although I saw your name there too, so..."
"She-she's dead"
"Oh, sorry mate."
"S'arlight, wasn't your fault"
"Nah, but you were a top notch couple!"
"Mmm"
Damon could see the sadness forming in Ianto's eyes and changed the subject rapidly. "So! Lets have a look at you then...Come here"
He pulled Ianto up from his chair, held him at arms length and looked him over and smiled.
"Turn around" Ianto complied.
"Bend over" he joked.
"Fuck off!" Ianto exclaimed embarrassed.
"Heyyy! Just wanna see dat ass of yours, god, its better than I remembered!" Damon emphasised by smacking it.
"Hands off my property, Mr." Jack joked.
"Oooh! Sorry, couldn't help myself...you know, back at One me and Jo-Jo were quite the pair..."
"Oh god...did you have to bring that god awful knick name up?"
"Well I aint finished embarrassing you yet, have I?"
"Toss-pot"
"Ponce"
"Slut"
"Cheat"
"Whore"
"I was not a whore!"
"Oh yes you were! You shagged you're way up the job ladder!"
"I did not"
"Did too"
"Okay, I did at the start, but then they found out and I had to work hard to be the boss!"
"Pffft! Yeah, shag Hartman"
"You slept with Yvonne!? How do I not know this?" Jack questioned dumbstruck.
"Eurgh, dont remind me...that was the worst half an hour of my life" Ianto made a face.
"She was a bit of alright" Owen added,
"Yeah, if you were blind...maybe you didn't have your glasses on Owen" Ianto reasoned,
"I don't wear glasses!"
"You do, ive seen you in them"
"Yeh, and you wont be seeing that again in a hurry"
"I think you looked quite...cute"
"You did not just call me cute!?"
"Well he did mate, so if I was you I'd be honoured" Damon said
"Hounoured? Are you for real?"
"This is Ianto were talking about, I'm surprised he hasn't slept with the lot of ya!"
"I havent!" Ianto defended.
"What about the pretty tech woman?"
"Thats Tosh, shes my best friend! Not that i wouldn't Tosh, you're lovley, but it'd be like kissing my sister..." Ianto said smiling sweetly
"You have a sister!?" Owen asked confused.
"Yes, and no you cant have her number" Ianto told him.
"I wasnt gunna ask! God, if she looks anything like you i'd rather not" Owen spat
"You must be blind after all cos Ianto's fucking hot mate!" Damon defended his best friend,
"Eurgh, dont!"
"He's straight Daye"
"Yeah, and you were known to turn the straightest man bi!"
"Ha! That's my Ianto" Jack joined in
"Can you stop telling everyone personal stuff! I'll be taughnted into the next century!" Ianto moaned,
"Nope, sorry!"
"I hate you"
"I wanna fuck you"
"You already have...numerous times"
"I know, but I wanna do it again, your the best lay ive had since Nick"
"Thanks...I think"
"Aw, your better than Nick, i was just saying, like, im not a nun"
"Oh, I know that!"
"Who's Nick?" Jack asked thinking with his downstairs brain again.
"I thought you were with Ianto?"
"I am"
"Then what are you doing asking about other blokes, seriously mate, you dont know what youve got." Damon played the protective friend card.
"I know...i just wondered is all"
"I'm sorry but do you know Jack? He sleeps with anything that moves, regardless of relationship or not" Owen told him
"Well you're clearly not right for Ianto, he deserves better" Damon spat.
"Daye, come on, leave it yeah, its fine"
"No it bloody well aint, hes cheating on ya Ianto, everyone here knows it, theyre probably laughing at you about it behind your back...how is that okay?"
"Jack's Jack, thats the way he is and I accept it"
"Who are you and what have you done with the real Ianto Jones?"
"It is me, i'm just different now"
"You mean being made a mug"
"Damon"
"Ianto, I'm just looking out for you. You're my friend, you deserve much better"
"What, like you i supposed" Ianto joked
"Maybe...just after Bryn I-"
"Dont"
"Ianto, look-"
"No! Why did you have to bring him up!?"
"Because I care about you and don't want you in that situation again!"
"Who's Bryn?" Jack enquired.
"Leave it Jack" Ianto said forcefully
"Hes Ianto's abusive ex"
"Thats it, tell the world why don't you!? Im sure itll be on Facebook within minutes knowing Gwen, and Owen will call me a fucking pussy for the rest of my life, thank Daye, i really appreciate it!..." Ianto took a deep breath then muttered "I think you should leave."
"Ianto..."
"No, ju-just please. No more"
"Sorry, I know hes a cunt, and you hate me talking about it, but they need to know encase he comes looking for you again"
"Again?" Jack asked once again. Ever since this conversation between the two men started he was hazardous as if to intervene. If he did he might miss something about Ianto he never knew.
"He stalked him after Ianto ended it, he did it for months until he got a restraining order out, even then..." He looked at Ianto asking silently whether or not he should continue,
"He found me, beat the shit outta me, then left. He's dead now so he cant find me, alright?"
"How do you know?"
"The list of the dead, remember?"
"Well that was wrong about you, maybe..."
"No, no. I had to identify the body. It was definitely him"
"I hope you fucking kicked his head in!"
"I was brought up never to kick a man while hes down"
"Didnt stop your dad though, did it?"
Ianto went quiet. He was fuming. How could Damon say so much personal stuff in the space of twenty minutes.
"Get. Out"
"Ianto, come on."
"No."
"Ianto, mate" Owen tried to diffuse the situation.
"Fuck off Owen!"
"Alright, cor, no need to bite my head off!"
"Ianto, why dont we go and make some coffee, yeah?" Tosh asked sweetly
"Yeah, sorry"
"It's alright, come on, i've been dying for a latte since Owen knocked mine over this morning"
"You should have told me! I would have made you another one...and pissed in his"
Tosh laughed and escorted Ianto out of the board room.
"Bloody hell!" Gwen said.
"You said it" Owen joined in
"Why didn't Ianto tell me any of this?" Jack asked quietly
"Hes a private person, he doesn't like people knowing about him, especially about his past" Damon explained
"Then why did you bring it up then you twat!" Owen cursed him
"I forgot myself, I hadn't seen him in ages and...well...it just slipped out"
"Youve got one hell of an apology to make, let me tell ya" Jack said from experience
"Look, about what i said earlier..."
"It's forgotten, I mean, its only right you protecting Ianto after what that scum did to him"
"Mmm, wish i coulda done more, though...you know?"
"You aint physcic, you said yourself Ianto's a private person" Owen said surprisingly nicely,
"Ha! I'm not like Ianto! You know this one time-" Damon laughed then smacked his mouth,
"Wha-?" Gwen uttered again speechless,
"I really shouldnt have said that, forget i said anything"
"As leader of Torchwood I deserve to know about the capabilities of my team" Jack said strongly
"Yeah, well im not blabbing"
"Yeah, cos youve done a bang up job of that so far!" Owen reprimanded
"Damon, I need to know, if hes a threat..."
"Dont be fucking stupid! It's Ianto, youve gone all this time without him 'being a threat', now you know its not gunna change a thing!"
"You'll be surprised" Owen sniped
"Owen..."
"Whats that supposed to mean?" Damon asked, curious.
"He hid his half converted cyber girlfriend in here for months"
"OWEN!?" Both Jack and Gwen shouted
"What? He's told us some shit, we may as well give him something...its not like Ianto dont mention it every five seconds"
"Thats because he feels he should still be punished, so every time we praise him he says it, its like a programmed response or something" Jack informed them
"Shit" Damon sighed
"Yeah, so, this physcic thing...Do you know the levels? The strength?" Jack enquired
"He's not a friggin lab rat! Hes an empath, he cant read your mind but he can sense what your feeling, he can turn it off and on but sometimes its so strong it slips through...he genrally gets a headache after, probably a side affect or something" Damon told them sighing once again, hes really digging himself a hole here.
"Right, so thats it? Nothing else? Was he a volunteer for Torchwood One's psyic profiling?"
"No, hes always been able to do it, no one can really explain it, thats why Torchwood London hired him in the first place"
"I wondered why they would want someone like him- no offence, but he wasnt exactly a squeaky clean candidate"
"For Ianto's boyfriend you sure are quick to side against him"
"Im not his boyfriend" Jack spat. He knew he was, he felt things for him he hadn't felt since Estelle but he'd be damned if he was going to admit it in front of the whole damn team!
"So youre just shagging him then? Thats not right mate"
"I'm not your mate and never will be"
"Why Ianto chose to shack up with you i'll never know"
"I like to think its because of my dashing good looks"
"You vein bastard"
"Coffee!" Ianto all-but shouted, handing out cups to everyone, including Damon. He could never really stay mad at him.
"Oh god yes! Ive missed this you know" Damon added before sipping the beverage and making the most obscene sound.
Ianto laughed. Then came the silence.