I'm Still Loving You, a jag fanfic

TITLE: "I'm Still Loving You"

AUTHOR: Vid

PAIRING: Harm/Meg, Harm/Mac UST

CATEGORY: fluff, romance

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

TIMELINE: Season 5, starts 2 months after Harm returned to JAG from flying.

WARNINGS!!!!THIS FIC IS NOT FOR HARM/MAC SHIPPERS, NOR FOR MAC FANS!

If you read the warning, ignore it, read the fic anyway and then even complain or flame, you will be labeled as the village idiot.

Season 5 was a bad time for Harm and his fans because of how he was treated by his best friend for daring to go back to what he was born to do. This fic contains Mac bashing, but since it's following canon on her actions and that TPTB themselves actually bashed her with how she treated Harm, it's not inappropriate...

Also there is some language that is not appropriate for younger readers.

AN: I'm going back to my roots wih this fic. As some still active JAG fans I've started out with being a Harm/Meg shipper and never stopped being one, just lost hope of us ever getting Meg back, her and Harm together and all that sizzling chemistry and deep connection that they had back on the screen.

Dedicated to all fellow Harm/Meg shippers who are still out there and still reading fiction. Also dedicated to Tracey Needham who brought the wondeful character Meg to life and did such an amazing job at it. Semper Meg!

SUMMARY: when a man is forced to move on for his own good, it doesn't mean his life is over. Maybe it's just beginning...

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Harm was feeling like shit.

It's been 2 months since he returned to JAG from his stint at flying because he was once again forced to abandon the job he was born for.

Instead of blood he had jet fuel and ice water in his veins. Instead of normal vision he had HUDs and a targetting retticle.

He had flying in his genes. And the woman he only recently called his best friend tried to prove to him every day that she resented him for it.

After 2 months of having her new-found closeness to that smug bastard Gumby constantly rubbed in his face and regretting ever having returned to JAG, Harm gave up. The fact that Mac liked to pull her new rank on him over everything also didn't sit right with him. They were friends once and he never pulled rank on her when he was the senior officer, but she was doing it now constantly.

He wasn't going to fight to regain his friendship with Mac anymore.

If she wanted to be his friend again, then she will have to make the effort from now on.

With that new determination in mind he looked at his watch, noticed it was already quitting time, cleaned his desk and left for home.

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2 MONTHS LATER

JAG HQ

FALLS CHURCH, VA

1250 ZULU

Full Commander Harmon Rabb came whistling into his office, 10 minutes early as was his normal standard for the past few months and with a decidedly cheery disposition.

He greeted his co-workers friendly, he even sent a friendly smile towards Mac, who was puzzled over the change in her former partner's mood for the past few months.

Her plan wasn't working. She wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt her when he went back to flying to pay him back, even though Harriet tried to make her understand that that way of thinking was really selfish. Harriet tried to tell her that she was in the military and people get reassigned to other posts all the time, so she shouldn't have expected to remain partners with Harm for the rest of their lives. Mac didn't listen to her and went on with her plan. Then she included even Brumby in it. She actually couldn't stand the smarmy jerk, but she wanted to make Harm jealous, because she knew how much Harm had always hated Brumby.

Boy, did those two plans backfire on her!

All she did was alienate the man who was the best friend to her and get stuck with a Aussie playboy who thought he was the God's gift to women. He was actually extremely annoying and wouldn't take no for an answer. She also couldn't press legal actions or report him because everyone could testify that she encouraged him and definitely didn't reject him. She was in deep and it was all her own fault. Why could she never learn?

----

Harm was feeling extremely good, better than he had in 3 years!

He reflected back on the past two months. Since he had decided to move on his life was much nicer to live.

Just two days after he made the decision he experienced something that changed his life. For good. And he knew he would never regret his decision, as hasty as it may seem to some people.

He wanted to share his happiness with everyone he knew, but on the other hand he wanted to keep it to himself, like a precious secret that no-one but him and few select others outside his job knew about.

He booted up his computer and got to work, eager to get done with his paperwork so he could go home on time.

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A MONTH LATER

JAG HQ

FALLS CHURCH, VA

1705 ZULU

A tall, blonde, female Navy Lieutenant in her dress blues entered the JAG bullpen, looking around with the air of a first-time visitor.

Mac, who was the closest to the newcomer, approached the young woman.

"Do you have an appointment, Lt.?" she asked.

The Lt. quickly looked at Mac's rank insignia and stood at attention. "At ease" said Mac.

"No, Ma'am, I'm here to pick up Commander Rabb."

"Pick him up?" asked Mac who was now scowling.

"Yes, Ma'am, we have a lunch date." she was receiving the hostile vibes Mac was sending out quite clearly.

Mac looked at the younger woman's tags and noticed the name 'Rabb' standing there. This mystery was getting stranger by the minute.

"Are you the Commander's relative, Lt. Rabb?" wanted Mac to know.

"Yes, Ma'am." was all that the young Lt. offered.

Looking at the Lt.'s sleeves she noticed the JAG insignia there. The woman was a lawyer and seemingly quite experienced and competent at that. She didn't offer any more nor any less than what was needed, nor did she even so much as flinch under Mac's interrogation.

"What kind of a relative?" persisted Mac. Harm had never mentioned any other relatives aside from his immediate family and his Grandmother Sarah. Mac didn't have a clue who this woman was and that bothered her. She wanted to get to the bottom of this.

"Has the Commander ever mentioned me, Ma'am?" answered the Lt. with a question.

"I asked the question first. You WILL answer." Mac was getting angry. This newcomer was quite tight-lipped and very uncooperative.

"Am I under arrest for something, Lt. Colonel? Because otherwise you can't order me nor force me to answer such personal questions. I'm a lawyer myself and I know my rights. And if the Commander has never mentioned me, then I am not in the liberty to specify." even though it was said politely it was clear to all, who were watching the confrontation, that the young Lt. was getting angry herself.

By now all work had stopped as everyone was watching the battle of the wills. The silence brought the Admiral out of his office and he immediately recognized the visitor.

"Lieutenant!" he boomed with a pleased smile, making Mac frown even harder. "Congratulations on your promotion! Haven't seen you here in quite a few years. How's your job as liaison at the NCIS working out after the years of top secret stuff?"

"Thank you, sir. Yes, it's been a while, sir. I love my work, but I'm missing the old days of action and courtroom. Not to forget all those Tomcat flights to our investigations that you managed to arrange for us sometimes. I can't tell you how much I loved those. Harm is the best pilot I have ever known and I thoroughly enjoyed flying in a Tomcat." the young woman beamed at the memories of those times. Mac was still scowling, but was momentarily overcome by sickness at the mere thought of flying.

Cheggwidden noticed the frown that marred Mac's face and the lusty, leering expression of Lt. Cmdr. Brumby who was watching the young woman. Cheggwidden shook his head. 'That man is like a dog with bones, but to him women were the bones. He goes after every pretty woman that comes into his sights. But he would have no luck with this one. Harm would sooner send the smarmy Australian in the hospital than let him anywhere near this woman. He was very protective of her, not that she ever needed his protection.'

Cheggwidden barely managed to keep in a laugh when the Lt. noticed the looks Brumby was giving her and sent him a look filled with disgust and revulsion. 'Amazing how alike she and Rabb are. They even hate the same guy on the spot.'

Suddenly Cheggwidden's eyes were drawn to the name tag on the young woman's uniform and a puzzled frown, followed by a realization began to spread across his face.

Just as he was about to ask, the cause of all the commotion entered the bullpen.

Harm stopped at the sight of the slim figure of a fellow Rabb and his face broke out in a joyous smile, which made Mac to scowl even darker "Meg!"

'Meg Rabb? Harm never mentioned her. What the hell is she to him?'

"So, you're here to..." Cheggwidden trailed off letting Meg explain.

"To kidnap my husband, sir." said Meg straight-faced.

Mac's jaw dropped and rage filled her.

Everyone went quiet at Meg's statement and watched in silence as Harm came up to her, kissed her quickly, but with passion and love very obvious in the kiss.

No one could believe that the Commander got married and no one knew about it. Brumby slinked away, sulking. He would've liked to make this beautiful young woman a notch in his bedpost, but it was extremely obvious that Harm would sooner kill him than let that happen. It was also obvious that Rabb had no intention of letting this woman go for the rest of his life.

The Admiral roared with laughter at that. "Damn. Why couldn't you have married while you were still partners? Now I've lost 100 bucks to Senator Marion."

Both Harm and Meg were staring at the Admiral in disbelief "You bet on us, sir?"

The Admiral sobered "Of course, it was easy money, or so I thought. You two always had enough chemistry to power the whole world for 200 years. I was sure you would get married while you were still partners, but then you, Meg, got reassigned so quickly and I lost hope for you two. I am happy that you've made it despite all obstacles, you two definitely deserve it."

Harm and Meg were stunned at the Admiral's words and their meaning. He actually wanted them to get together while they were still in the same chain of command.

"When did you meet up again, anyway? And when did you get married? Cause I definitely know that you, Rabb, didn't take any time off for a honeymoon." the Admiral pierced Harm with a stare.

Meg decided to intervene "We got married last Saturday, sir and we wanted to wait with the honeymoon, because you are buried under cases."

The Admiral waved a dismissive hand "No problem, we'll manage. You will only get married this one time." Harm and Meg were surprised at the Admiral's belief in the success of their marriage. "You've got 1 month off starting now, Harm. Take your wife to some beautiful, warm, tropical island paradise."

"Thank you, sir. I think I can arrange it." They have completely forgotten that there were also other people listening in. Perhaps it was better this way as it would cut down the rumors and speculation.

"So, when did you meet up again? Because I know you were reassigned back to JAG and DC only 3 months ago, Lt."

Meg glanced at Harm, who looked into her eyes and they seemed to have a discussion, which ended in some kind of agreement.

"We met again 3 months ago, sir. I was just transferred back to DC, still living in the BOQ and looking for an aparment. I met Harm at the Wall when I was visiting my father." This little fact was just another revelation to Mac that Harm and Meg seemed to have a lot in common and that they obviously had known each other for a lot of years and were even expected by the Admiral to get married at some point.

Harm took up the story. "I was talking to my father, cause I've just made a big decision concerning something important. Then I turned around and there she was. Like it was some kind of sign. I walked up to her, she recognized me, we decided to go somewhere to talk and that was it."

Harm let out the details of him seeing Meg and of her recognizing him. When he noticed her he ran like a lunatic to catch up to her. And when she saw him she did something inappropriate for two people in uniforms. She grabbed him in a hug and they didn't let each other go for good 10 minutes.

Meg continued the narration while Harm was caught in the memories. "We went to Harm's apartment, talked and some long-thought dead feelings came to light again. Both of us realized that these feelings were the thing neither of us could move on from and that we still belonged to each other. Harm said I could move in with him since I still didn't have my own apartment, it felt so right and natural that I just accepted and we've been together since. The decision to get married was so natural, easy and right, that we didn't hesitate. Neither of us is religious so we didn't need to wait for an opening at a church and a priest. We got married last Saturday at Grandma Sarah's farm with only our families present. And since you have a big case load at the moment we decided to wait for a better time with our honeymoon."

Cheggwidden was fascinated with the tale. It confirmed once again what he always knew. These two were meant to be. They've found each other at the exact moment when both were ready for more. He didn't mind losing that money. It made him long for what he had with his ex-wife and he decided he would try and smooth things up again with her.

"As I said, Lieutenant Rabb, nonsense. We can manage without your husband." no one noticed Mac's disdainful snort at the word husband. "You have a month off and you should take that honeymoon. You too, Lt., I'll call your boss and arrange it. After all, you are still a JAG officer and thus under my command."

"Thank you sir." chorused both.

"Good, that's settled then." concluded the Admiral. "Now, Commander, you quickly gather your files, give them to Tiner who will disperse them, secure your office and you can start your down-time immediately."

Harm did just that. While he was doing this Meg was sitting in the chair meant for clients and visitors, just observing him. She hasn't seen him in an office environment for a long time and she remembered the times they've spent together in their office with a fond smile. Those were good days, but the years they have before them will be much better.

----------------------

Outside in the bullpen work has been resumed. People were discussing the recent revelations, but because Harm and Meg didn't hide anything there wasn't any cause for speculation. The Admiral went back to his lair and Mac just stood there, rooted to the spot.

She couldn't believe it! Harm married? And it was her little plan that was the cause of it. She recognized immediately what Harm meant by 'a big decision concerning something important'. The timing was right. It was when he stopped trying to rebuild their friendship and waited for her to do something. But she, in all her wisdom, decided to make him sweat some more. And because of the way she treated him he was in the exact mindset and feelings that he could move on and leave her behind. At the right time and in the right place for him to meet Meg again. And it was all her own fault!

Right at that moment Harm and Meg came out of his office, laughing, Harm carrying his files to Tiner while Meg locked the office.

The whole staff watched, including the Admiral, as the two lovebirds met in the middle, took hold of each other's hands and left among farewells.

At the double swinging door they met Bud, who greeted them, but then turned around and stared at the closed doors with bulging eyes and gaping mouth.

Slowly he turned around and approached Mac.

"Was that Commander Rabb and Lt. Austin, Ma'am?" he asked her, still in shock.

"It was Harm, yes, as for the Lt.'s name I'm not sure. She is Lieutenant Meg Rabb now if it says anything to you." she wanted to know from Bud who the woman was and what were the chances of them getting divorced in the future.

"Rabb? They got married? I can't believe it! It took them long enough."

"What do you mean and who was she to Harm?" wanted Mac to know.

"She was his partner before you, ma'am. I was on the Seahawk when they where there a couple of times on investigations. The first time they came there together a pool was set up as to when they would be getting married, when they would be having kids, the gender of the kids,... you know, that sort of thing."

Mac was stunned at that revelation. The fact that the gambling pool wasn't about the topics it was normally about, like first having sex, getting together, breaking up, but about serious topics was something new to her.

"They were that serious?"

"No, ma'am, they never broke the regs, but everyone and I mean everyone, who met them on investigations knew that it could never be just an affair between them. When they would get together, it would be for life and it would include the whole cliche. And it looks like we were right. We just didn't know it would take them over 4 years. Did you notice, Colonel, that when you, me and Commander Rabb visited places in our investigations together where he and Lt. Aus... Rabb were before together, that people, usually senior officers, pulled the Commander away for a while?"

Mac had always wanted to know what that was all about. "Yes, what was that about? He never explained when I asked him."

Bud decided to explain since the cat was out of the bag. "The first question they asked him was how he was. The second was if he and Lt. Austin... er, now Lt. Rabb got married already and if they had any kids. I've overheard a few of these talks. It was always the same."

Mac couldn't believe what she was hearing, this was grave news. "So, what you're telling me is that EVERYONE, from Senators to Seamen, expected them to get married even though they had known each other for less than a year?"

Bud looked at her seriously "Yes, ma'am, that's what I'm saying. We have all noticed how they behaved, how they constantly subconsciously searched out each other's presence, their completely non-verbal communication, how they finished each other's sentences, how in tune they were with each other,... It was like they were sharing one soul and one mind. And definitely one heart, even if they didn't realize it. It was spooky." Bud grinned at that, only he getting the inside X-Files joke. When he realized Mac didn't get it, he continued "There was even a rumor that they were a couple before they were partners and some even believed they were already married. But then Lt. Schonke's death happened and Harm's imprisonment."

Mac looked surprised at that "Harm was in prison for her murder?"

Bud looked grim "Yeah, he was framed. While the Cmdr. was in prison, the Lt. kept visiting him. Someone higher up tried to get rid of the Dream Team, thus the Cmdr. was framed and the Lt. was transferred out of the country with no chance of objection. Rumor has it she was just visiting the Cmdr. when some officers came to her, they tracked her down to the prison, gave her her transfer orders and actually dragged her by the arms out of there. She didn't even get the time to pack, people were sent to pack her apartment up for her. And so she disappeared for these past 3 years. No one knew what happened to her, where she was. By then I was already here. I've heard that once he got out the Cmdr. was enraged. He used every connection he had to find out where she was sent to, until he got a visit from some guys in black who warned him that if he didn't want to be 'taken care of' he should cease his search for his partner. He didn't stop until he was almost shot by some unknown sniper. Perhaps the two became too good and got too close to someone important. Many of their cases had to do with corruption, espionage, treason and such. And now they are apparently together again and meant to stay that way."

Mac didn't know what to say after hearing this story. She knew from her observation of the happy couple that there was something more there, but she couldn't even guess it went so deep. She didn't want to know, but she had to ask.

"So, you think that there is no way for them to ever break up, now that they are together?"

Bud looked her in the eyes and after a moment replied with complete conviction. "Ma'am there is more of a chance of the universe ending in a Big Bang in the next five minutes than of them to ever stop loving each other and break up."

And with that Mac knew that she lost forever.

END