Title: into the dark
Pairing: John Proudstar/Thunderbird, Clarice Fong/Blink
Summary: Do you realise what you've done? What that could lead to?
The problem was, Sonia could already see what was happening, whether Johnny knew it or not.
Rating: T (for language, violence and other themes)
Other Characters: Sonia/Dreamer, Lorna Jane/Polaris, Marcos Diaz/Eclipse, Reed Strucker, Caitlin Strucker, Lauren Strucker, Andy Strucker
Tags: TBD
Notes: This first chapter is heavily Sonia's point of view, but will expand as the fic proceeds. I think. We'll see. Also it will be shorter than the other chapters because I wanted it to be strictly Sonia's point of view in this chapter and that meant that it was organically shorter.
into the dark
Do you realise what you've done? What that could lead to? Sonia replayed the expression on his face in her mind's eye, thinking over the memory. She had meant what she said, that she knew very well what could happen. Where things might go from here. She knew the moment she put that memory into Clarice's head that she'd sealed her fate. Sonia loved Johnny, loved everything about him, from his steadfast calm to his strength when everything was falling apart. She could see how he could be very attractive to someone like Clarice, someone lost in the ocean of her powers and needing something, someone to ground her. That, and he wasn't terrible to look at. Her lips quirked up in the dark at the thought. She knew first hand how not terrible he was to look at.
What that could lead to? The words came again to wipe the smirk off her face and steal her breath. The problem was that it was already happening. From the moment Clarice had come into the warehouse, Sonia could see that something had changed with Johnny. She wasn't on that mission but she knew that he'd made a connection with her. It was in the way their eyes lingered on one another when they thought no one was looking. It was the way that he refused to leave her when her powers were out of control. Sure, she could see the logical reasons why he had to be one to stay, but his hand gripping hers almost unconsciously to anchor her to him said so much more. It was the way that he had started to teach her, how he said she needed something positive to focus on. Sonia saw the way her emerald eyes had softened slightly looking at him, belying the confusion in her voice as she scoffed about having no one and nothing.
Sonia's heart beat faster when she thought of the phone call between her and Johnny and the way that her blood had started to freeze in her veins as he shot down her suggestions. When he asked what she was going to do, she knew he would be angry with her. She knew that it might be the end of them, one more nail in the coffin that Johnny had built for their relationship. He didn't know how much she loved him, how much she was willing to risk to save his life. She'd made her decision the second he'd called her. She knew it was time to let him go and this may not be what he wanted, but it's what would have happened eventually. She just… sped things up a little.
Her eyes had caught sight of Clarice when she hung up and she just had to cycle through which memory she could use. Chicago, Cleveland, New York, Richmond… no, New York. The rainstorm. The beat up old walk up they had in the Bronx. She envisioned that night, when the hydro had gone out and all they had was candles to light the way. How he'd put a blanket over her and they watched the storm by firelight. She knew that would be unintrusive enough to slide into Clarice's memories seamlessly. She transformed herself into Clarice in her memory, thinking of how her eyes softened when she looked at Johnny. She remembered the feel of the blanket, how grounded and safe she felt on the couch with his hand on her thigh. She smelled the musty but familiar scent of rain coming down and heard the sound of it hitting the large window pane. She tasted the leftover chinese they'd ordered before the lights had gone out. The memory wasn't hers anymore, it was Clarice's and she just had to put it in her head.
She remembered talking quickly trying to get Clarice to understand the urgency of the situation, that the man she loved was in danger. It was quickly clear to her that she was going to have to go with Plan B, so taking a breath and feeling the sharp sting of tears pierce her eyes, she breathed out the memory, watching Clarice taking it in. They were so close that the transfer had taken hold very easily and she watched as those eerie emeralds dilated with the processing of new information. Except it was old information, information that she'd forgotten in the recesses of her memory. Sonia watched her blink as the memory set in and her eyes cleared and she knew it was done. She explained to Clarice there wasn't any time and Johnny was in danger. Sonia doesn't think she won't ever forget that little intake of breath that Clarice did as panic about her loved one seeped into her brain. It was not unlike the little intake of breath that Sonia had suffered when she answered the phone and heard the undercurrent of panic in Johnny's voice.
Watching Clarice try to open a portal when there was a small chance she would was one of the most terrifying moments of Sonia's life. It was followed by another moment of terror when she realised she might lose Johnny as a friend as well, watching his back as he stalked off to the warehouse. Her heart had broken a little because Clarice had been the one that was able to throw her arms around him in a life-affirming hug. She longed to do that herself, but it wouldn't fit the narrative that she'd planted in Clarice's head. She'd stood there in the clearing by herself for a few long moments, collecting her being back together again after the day.
After that, she returned to the house and saw that Johnny hadn't yet returned. Clarice had come up to her, asking where he'd gone and she explained that he just needed a minute to think. Sonia watched the girl's face fall a little but she reassured her that it had nothing to do with her. It wasn't exactly a lie. As she put her hands on Clarice's shoulders to comfort her, Johnny walked back in, brow furrowed in thought. Clarice detached from Sonia immediately, bounding up to Johnny cheerfully, asking if everything was alright.
Sonia's breath caught in that moment, unsure if she was ready to see how this would play out after all. But Johnny only gave Clarice a half smile and said that he was fine. He just needed some rest after the day's events. Clarice's face had fallen a little but she masked the hurt by offering him a cup of tea. Sonia had watched as Johnny had kept distance from Clarice for the whole evening and eventually Clarice had gone to bed, dejected and confused about what happened between them to have Johnny so distant from her.
Seeing her opening, Sonia had come to speak to him, to see where they might stand. But she barely got a word out. As she opened her mouth to explain herself, she heard his quiet command of
"Don't." and she knew the friendship might be over for him as well. It wasn't over for her though and she knew the risks when she'd made the decision. She'd left him though, and gone back to her cot near where Marcos was sleeping. He used to be across the room with Lorna, but he'd since moved to a single cot right by Sonia.
She knew that it would just take some time and Johnny would forgive her. He'd see that she'd made the right decision eventually. She just hoped that her actions wouldn't hurt Clarice too much in the interim.