Stop Pranking Us!
Me: Hey, it's me, Casey, again, with another Hetalia – Axis Powers one-shot fan fiction. Gosh, I'm getting addicted to this.
Dianne: Yeah. You never even watch it.
Me: We don't have it in the Philippines, remember? All I've got to go on are the character descriptions on Wikipedia and the fan fictions.
DISCLAIMER: Yeah. Anyway, I do not own anything.
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March 31, 2009
"Oh lord. Tomorrow's April Fools and America's gonna prank us like heck!" Canada uneasily told the other nations at an informal meeting.
"Canada, you are correct! Those childish pranks have targeted all of us!" England replied as he shook his head.
"You said it. I still have a bump on the head from last year from his previous prank," Philippines haughtily informed them.
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Flashback, April 1, 2008
"Ah, the sweet smell of summer. Nakaka-refresh talaga," Philippines happily said, skipping on the sidewalk.
America slyly dropped a banana peel in her path. "Let's see how refreshing it would be."
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"I'd like to pay him back for landing me in the hospital for a month," Philippines added.
Hungary cringed, her eyes scanning the others. "He pulled a fast one on me as well. I didn't see it coming."
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Flashback, April 1, 2008
"The water's color seems a little…yellowish," Hungary commented.
"It means that the water has been purified. Congratulations," America informed her.
Hungary didn't see America's smirk as she drank the "water".
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"It was his own pee!" Hungary exclaimed, throwing up.
The nations let out a collective "EEEW!"
"Let's not forget America's worst prank ever," England told them. "I still cannot believe he pulled it on everyone, not just his usual gullible targets on every April Fools. Why, I thought he had gone off his trolley!"
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Flashback, April 1, 2007
"Today's a cross-dressing cosplay convention! Come as the opposite gender!" Flyers sent to many nations announced.
"France's house. He must be turning over a new leaf," grumbled Ukraine, her eyes scanning the flyer that had been just sent to her.
"Where's my Sailor Pluto costume when I need it?!" Switzerland angrily asked himself, rummaging through his trunk.
"Andres Bonifacio sounds like a nice choice. But then again, there's always Ash Ketchum. But then I wouldn't be giving Dr. Jose Rizal a chance. I wonder if Guy Fawkes is available. No, but I think Jackson Stewart would be a nice substitute…AUGH! What to choose, what to choose!" Philippines screamed, searching through her wardrobe.
"Ah-choo! England, you're gonna have to go to the convention in my place. I got a cold," America moaned to England on the phone.
Soon, the nations were all assembled inside France's house. They weren't suspecting what happened next:
"AAAHH! Monsieur, mademoiselle! You all look perfect!" France purred, looking seductive.
"Uh-oh," Ireland whispered.
"America did me a favor by bringing you all here! Now, mi amore, we shall all make love!"
"We've been punk'd by America again!!" Philippines cried out, scrambling away from France's house.
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"I still have nightmares about it," Austria shivered.
"The point is, we've all been surprised by America's tricks, one way or the other. It's time we fought back!" England yelled.
"YEAH!"
"Aw, but it wasn't his worst prank," France seductively said.
"I vote France doesn't participate," Ukraine suddenly announced.
"Seconded," a majority agreed.
"You do not know the true meaning of love!"
"Shut up. You have been such a pervert, you stinking…pervert! Whatever makes you say we don't know the true meaning of love?!" Italy retorted.
France retreated underneath his seat, grumbling.
"Now, I have the perfect idea…"
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April 1, 2009
"I'm ready," America snickered to himself as he sneaked around the neighborhood. He was looking forward to placing a whoopee cushion on Vietnam's chair.
It felt weird today, though. No sound came from each house. It was eerie, almost as if everyone were dead.
Nah, America dismissed. Maybe they all just overslept.
As he sneaked into Philippines' house, America heard a trickle of water coming from the bathroom. Philippines' past flags hung on her wall, while her valuable collection of books, DVDs and CDs were stacked on her bookcase. The TV sat on a table, a rainbow of vibrant bean chairs around it. But still, America felt wary.
He opened the bathroom door…to find Philippines with a knife through her heart, blood pouring into the tub's water!
"SWEET HEAVENS!" America screeched, dashing out of the house.
And in her bathroom, Philippines giggled as she wiped up the tomato sauce and removed the toy knife from her armpit. "Gotcha."
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"ENGLAND! ENGLAND!" America screamed, jimmying England's doorknob. He rushed into the comfortable living room to find England hanging from the skylight.
"AIIIEEEEE!" America again ran out of the house.
England cut down the dummy as he came out of hiding. "I must say, Canada's idea was enormously profitable," he chuckled.
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America barged into Germany's house. "Germany! I am so glad to see you! Everyone's—"
He was cut off by the sight of Germany on his bedroom floor. Pipe marks were all over his face, and there was a gunshot wound to his head.
"Kicked the bucket? Italy, are you there?" America squeaked.
Italy was on Germany's bed. He was in a frog-like position, and there were multiple stab wounds to his chest. A rope bound his hands together. It was as if Italy was raped and murdered.
America ran out of the house, screaming.
Behind him, the two sat up, laughing as they removed their makeup and fake scars.
"Did you see his face when he saw us? It was a good hint that our plan is working perfectly!" Italy sniggered.
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"Canada, India, I hope you're alright," America whispered, jimmying Canada's lock. He knew that India was Canada's new girlfriend, and they often visited each other's home.
He rushed into the house to find Canada and India together on Canada's bright red bed, dead. They had both been shot.
"AAAAHHHH!"
"April Fools!" Canada sat up, removing the fake wound from his forehead.
"Wha--?" America managed to choke out in surprise.
Philippines and England came inside, chuckling and snickering.
"Our little idea for revenge. How'd it rate?" England asked.
America fainted in reply.
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Epilogue
America had been rushed to the hospital following the pranks. He found it funny, nevertheless.
"Hey, uh…sorry if we c-c-caused another b-b-b-bout of the flu," Philippines stammered.
The older nation, England, shuffled his feet.
"It's okay, guys. But where the heck's my cheeseburger?"
England laughed. "Maybe later, America."
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Me: Read and review, please!