Spy vs. spy music plays.
the white spy tries to trap the black spy. He succeeds. The credits begin to roll. "Wait," says the black spy,"why do we always end up hurting each other. For cheap laughs? We make 10 of what the cast does. Lets kill them. They advance quickly on the cast. Aries Spears laughs like Bill Cosby, saying," you see here is an example of unequal and unethical treatment." He gets blasted with a gun.
"Man they will do anything for sweeps these days," says Brian.
"Yeah the cast just hasn't been the same since Alex Borstein left,"Lois explains.
Everyone stares at her curiously. A commercial comes on." Do you LIKE ADVENTURE? DO YOU LIKE CHALLENGES?DO YOU NEED SOME MONEY TO GET A RESTRAING ORDER AGAINST INLAWS?" Are you sitting in a beanbag chair naked eating cheerios well then go enter a competition testing the brains and brawns, cash prize included. Results may vary chances of winning are 1 in a 1000. Do not enter if pregnant. Please consult your doctor." "I don't know what brawns are but I did eat bran for breakfest, rasin bran that is"
I don't know Peter," says Brian ,"remember what happened when you were on that game show.
FLASHBACK "Im sorry Peter," exclaims Joe Rogan but you did not eat any of the food you were supposed to I guess you don't win the money"
"It's just not real ice cream," sobs Peter throwing the fat free icecream in Joe Rogan's eye.
"My eye I'm not supposed to get ice cream in it," he screams.
BACK TO PRESENT "How hard could it be it, can't be any harder than that spelling bee FLASHBACK "quarter, c u a r t e r, darn it thats wrong." Peter runs out the door crying. "Someone should of told him this was a geography bee," states Louis.
"There was a big flyer that said geography bee you imbecile," stated Stewie.
" Hey if I can't spell it I can't read it." states Peter. "You know what I say?"asks Stewie afraid of the answer.
"Of course I do what am I deaf? You sure do complain a lot though." Explains Peter
The next day Peter goes to Clevelands."Hey Cleveland have you seen that commercial for the big cash prize?" Sure have but I can't go we have to go pick up a dog at the airport." "Cleveland don't talk about my mother that way." Yells Loretta. Peter goes to Quagmire's house," hey do you need some money?" "No thanks Peter," states Quagmire. He hears muffled screaming. "What was that?" he asks. "What was what," asks Quagmire. Screaming continues. That. bat? that! sat? fat. rat. mat. pat. fat. "You said that already Peter I win!" Good game good game," glares Peter. Peter leaves. Shows shot of Louis in Quagmire's house tied up. Peter decides he is too tired to walk to Joe's so he calls him. "Hello 911 this is Joe Swanson," "Hey its Peter," "Peter I told you not to call me! Just walk over here you live right next door!" Sorry," Peter explains sheepishly,"but there's some contest testing brain and bran." "you mean brawn," stated Joe," "no bran. I know I thought it was weird too. but anyways do you want to go?" "Sure,"stated Joe. I do need a new one after that Superbowl incident. Flashback "Sorry Joe Ill pay you back later," "thats okay Peter, any one of us could of thought that the Patriots wanted us to tackle the tv if the Eagles got really close to the screen." Present
The next day Joe and Peter go there. Peter is picked to go in a competition first. "Hey its Dustin Hoffman, what are you doing here," "I don't know," "well you should know why youre here," "I don't know." Well youre just not as enthusiastic as you are when you act. Adam West walks up and says," Okay guys you have to guess how many toothpicks just dropped on the ground." He drops the container. "47" States Hoffman "haha there's 50 on the ground can't you read, its says so on the container. "I'm sorry Peter but there is 3 still left in the container you lose," explains Adam West eating a tremendously huge watermelon.
"Oh man can I at least try again"
"No"
"Can I have a bite of your watermelon"
"No," yells Adam West jumping in his Batmobile.
"Someday I'll be that fast," says The Flash wistfully.
Peter walks away sad. An hour later he gets greeted by Joe.
"Hey Peter I just won a million dollars thanks for telling me about this!" yells Joe.
"I shouldn't of told him," thinks Peter.
"You did the right thing Dad," states Chris.
"Chris how did you hear me say that when I thought it"
"well you know the evil monkey that lives in my closet? Well I made a deal with him if I give him all the bananas he needs that I will receive the power to read peoples minds, unfortunetely it only works on you.
"Lois I haven't talked to Joe in forever"
"Peter Joe will soon realize that money isn't everything"
"But who will I hang out with? Who will comfort me when I have a nightmare?
"Peter quit your complaining and go over there," states Lois.
Peter walks to Joe's house.
"Hey Bonnie where's Joe?" Peter asks "11th door on the right"
"Thanks Peter sees Joe watching tv on his 100 inch plasma tv. The tv's so big and the rooms are so small that Joe took out the wall between two rooms to stick the tv between the two rooms.
"Joe we need to talk. You have become really selfish with your money. I think you need to quit being so selfish your selfish selfishness and selfless behavior have to stop.
"Peter what are you talking about?" Asks Joe "You know what I mean not hanging out with the guys anymore. Actually paying for your electric bill. This isn't the Joe I know. It's just not the same guy.
"If you don't like it then you can just leave," states Joe.
"Fine", yells Peter "Fine"
"Fine"
"Fine, "Fine, hey can you help me find my way out." asks Peter.
"Yea I should, some people came into the house. Never seen again.
Peter is walkind down the street furious when he suddenly gets hit by a car.
Its a five hour Marathon of Charles in Charge! "yes, yells Peter He wakes up,"why'd ya guys havta wake me,"Peter says very slurred"
i was wathcing a marathon of Bars in harge.
"Peter I'm sorry I hit you," stated Adam West "But I thought the max was 200 not twenty, sometimes this baby just is too much for even me.
"Peter guess who paid for your medical costs." Lois asked.
"My insurance"
"No you lost that in a tick tack toe game remember.
Flashback Are you sure that if you put an x im also supposed to"
"Are you calling me a liar"
"No sir"
"Peter Joe payed for it"
"Ah thanks Joe sorry I was so mean before I guess I was just jealous. It won't happen again.
"Thats okay Peter we will never fight again.
The end.
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